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RE: How would you react, ladies? - 3/7/2014 6:27:31 AM

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http://gavindebecker.com/ That's the site of the expert in the field of self-protection.

I'm in my early 50's, so this man's approach would seriously unnerve me.

However, my parents, who would be in their mid-80's now, would likely hold a different view. In their day, there was an assumption of good will. His effort and flowers would be duly noted. They'd think it was very romantic, I think.

Of course, in their day, internet meetings didn't exist. So, for them, perhaps a different analogy. Maybe seeing a picture of a woman at a bachelor party and asking others how to meet her.

The thing that has changed, I think, is that at least in American society, women had far less personal boundaries before. Well, not really, but they were not acknowledged. It was the 80's before marital rape was heard of, let alone written into law as a crime.

So, my point is, if this is a very old guy, he may not be dangerous. He may just be a dinosaur fumbling in a modern time. If this is a man from another culture, his choices and perceptions about how men and women interact will reflect that society, not ours. Again, that's not necessarily dangerous.

I agree with the creep factor, and I personally would be scared. However, I think that is more about my sense of social mores rather than any objective assessment of this man's dangerous intent.

Whatever your opinion, in this case, I'd proceed with caution.

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Previously known as:
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RE: How would you react, ladies? - 3/7/2014 9:48:25 PM

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It is the ones who seem harmless, strange, or not very dangerous... that I would worry the most about. Generally they have nothing or very little to Lose, which means, they can easily escalate their behavior from a bit creepy and bizarre to straight out scary stalking...

This guy is either nuts.. or simply trying to egg you on to manipulate you, so you see him as the victim.. " see what a nice guy I am.. see how I go out of my way to do something nice, and here I am being bashed for it.." Be ware.. Drop him, Dump him.. RUN! Exit the conversation.

darkangel

(in reply to Scala)

RE: How would you react, ladies? - 3/8/2014 3:21:20 AM

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He's not even part of the conversation, it was "on the other side" and he had a strop and deleted his account or blocked me...

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RE: How would you react, ladies? - 3/8/2014 8:18:59 AM

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Both sides of the sexes here are creeped out by the mental image of this happening to us.

~Fluid&Flame

(in reply to LadyConstanze)

RE: How would you react, ladies? - 3/8/2014 10:16:38 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyConstanze

He's not even part of the conversation, it was "on the other side" and he had a strop and deleted his account or blocked me...

I may have missed it, as to why he blocked you. Was it just simply because you told him it was a bad idea?
If so, yeah it screams even creepier.

(in reply to LadyConstanze)

RE: How would you react, ladies? - 3/8/2014 2:25:57 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: theshytype

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyConstanze

He's not even part of the conversation, it was "on the other side" and he had a strop and deleted his account or blocked me...

I may have missed it, as to why he blocked you. Was it just simply because you told him it was a bad idea?
If so, yeah it screams even creepier.

It's actually a fairly long process, I kept on telling him over and over again how freaked out a woman would be, that it's not OK, he got mad at me as he just wanted ideas about what else to do as in approaching her IRL and not the site...

If you want it in all detail: http://exdomme.blogspot.co.uk/2014/02/romantic-or-creepy.html

The odd thing is that after that, I got so many emails from people that were stalked, that I felt I really need to do a blog entry with resources for stalking victims, because when it happened to me (about 4 years ago) I was just freaked out, so I figured having it all in one place is a good idea... I'm not sure if this guy is a stalker, I think he's a bit "off" and has no idea how people relate to each other and what is acceptable or not, I seriously don't hope he stalks the woman (and I would hesitate to accuse anybody of stalking without real evidence)...

_____________________________

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http://exdomme.blogspot.com/2012/07/public-service-announcement.html

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RE: How would you react, ladies? - 3/10/2014 5:46:46 AM

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Thank you!

(in reply to LadyConstanze)

RE: How would you react, ladies? - 3/10/2014 7:53:56 PM

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First, let me state that I completely agree: the situation described DEFINITELY comes down on the creepy side

**Thread Drift Alert**

Ladies, a question for you. As described, the initiator was interested in the person, but did not see a response on CM, and did not see that the object of his affection had even BEEN on CM lately. If he did the same detective work, but then sent a snail mail letter (and JUST a letter) - would that still trigger the creep-o-meter in you lades?

(in reply to theshytype)

RE: How would you react, ladies? - 3/10/2014 8:01:07 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: SterlingMorgan

**Thread Drift Alert**

Ladies, a question for you. As described, the initiator was interested in the person, but did not see a response on CM, and did not see that the object of his affection had even BEEN on CM lately. If he did the same detective work, but then sent a snail mail letter (and JUST a letter) - would that still trigger the creep-o-meter in you lades?

Yes it would, no matter what the letter said. The internet and real life should have boundaries until it is otherwise agreed upon by both parties.

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RE: How would you react, ladies? - 3/10/2014 8:33:14 PM

tj444

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quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyConstanze

So yes, if anybody knows of anybody being stalked, feel free to pass it on: Resources for Stalking Victims

If anybody has more links or better links, I'll gladly include them.

This isn't directly related to stalkers but the info might be interesting to some people.. I was watching 60 Minutes on Sunday and they reported on data brokers and how much info they collect on people.. then if they have enough info they can figure out who you are and match to your Facebook, twitter, other social media websites .. Then there is the tracking of you using your cell phone.. I know one of your links is to a burner number but I don't know if they can still track you while you use that number and if they can, they can see where you are going and track you down that way.. also, now people are getting viruses on their cell phones so in that case a burner number may not prevent stalking.. I don't know enough about how all that stuff works but my second link is one womans attempt at remaining as anonymous as possible.. she even puts her cell in a metal lined pouch to prevent tracking as much as possible.. and she has disposable identities she uses online, even a fake name on a credit card.. I have also read that you can track a person just knowing their cell number, you don't even need to get them to download a virus on their cell or anything like that... I think people need to know this stuff and do what they can to keep their privacy before there is none left... This stalker dude said he was a bit of a geek.. well, he probably knows about much of this kinda stuff and how to access info most of us are unaware of..

http://www.cbsnews.com/news/the-data-brokers-selling-your-personal-information/

http://www.cbsnews.com/videos/how-to-defend-your-privacy-online/

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(in reply to LadyConstanze)

RE: How would you react, ladies? - 3/10/2014 8:33:39 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: SterlingMorgan

First, let me state that I completely agree: the situation described DEFINITELY comes down on the creepy side

**Thread Drift Alert**

Ladies, a question for you. As described, the initiator was interested in the person, but did not see a response on CM, and did not see that the object of his affection had even BEEN on CM lately. If he did the same detective work, but then sent a snail mail letter (and JUST a letter) - would that still trigger the creep-o-meter in you lades?

Sending a letter to me means that you know where I live or where I work....when I didn't give you that information. Same reaction: I'd be down at the Sheriff's office showing them the letter and I'd no longer feel safe in places where I should.

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RE: How would you react, ladies? - 3/11/2014 10:37:55 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: SterlingMorgan

First, let me state that I completely agree: the situation described DEFINITELY comes down on the creepy side

**Thread Drift Alert**

Ladies, a question for you. As described, the initiator was interested in the person, but did not see a response on CM, and did not see that the object of his affection had even BEEN on CM lately. If he did the same detective work, but then sent a snail mail letter (and JUST a letter) - would that still trigger the creep-o-meter in you lades?

Still creepy.
I don't want any stranger tracking me down to send me anything.

(in reply to SterlingMorgan)

RE: How would you react, ladies? - 3/11/2014 1:24:49 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: SterlingMorgan
**Thread Drift Alert**
Ladies, a question for you. As described, the initiator was interested in the person, but did not see a response on CM, and did not see that the object of his affection had even BEEN on CM lately. If he did the same detective work, but then sent a snail mail letter (and JUST a letter) - would that still trigger the creep-o-meter in you lades?

In My opinion, no, that's not cool, either. Attempting to contact a woman through alternative methods because of digging information on her is stalker behavior. There shouldn't be "detective work" in the first place.

Of course, this is coming from a woman who spent part of her morning communicating with her (adult) daughter because My stalker is back to trying to contact her on Facebook. Yes, that's how bad some of these crazy people get.

_____________________________

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Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

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RE: How would you react, ladies? - 3/11/2014 1:36:16 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

quote:

ORIGINAL: SterlingMorgan
**Thread Drift Alert**
Ladies, a question for you. As described, the initiator was interested in the person, but did not see a response on CM, and did not see that the object of his affection had even BEEN on CM lately. If he did the same detective work, but then sent a snail mail letter (and JUST a letter) - would that still trigger the creep-o-meter in you lades?

In My opinion, no, that's not cool, either. Attempting to contact a woman through alternative methods because of digging information on her is stalker behavior. There shouldn't be "detective work" in the first place.

Of course, this is coming from a woman who spent part of her morning communicating with her (adult) daughter because My stalker is back to trying to contact her on Facebook. Yes, that's how bad some of these crazy people get.

I hope your daughter reported him to FB. might result in him losing his privileges to contact people on FB... A blessing for most, I assume...

_____________________________

There are 10 kinds of people who understand binary
Those who do and those who don't!

http://exdomme.blogspot.com/2012/07/public-service-announcement.html

(in reply to LadyPact)

RE: How would you react, ladies? - 3/11/2014 7:25:11 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: SterlingMorgan

First, let me state that I completely agree: the situation described DEFINITELY comes down on the creepy side

**Thread Drift Alert**

Ladies, a question for you. As described, the initiator was interested in the person, but did not see a response on CM, and did not see that the object of his affection had even BEEN on CM lately. If he did the same detective work, but then sent a snail mail letter (and JUST a letter) - would that still trigger the creep-o-meter in you lades?

Yes it would. I would be wondering how he got my real name and address which would automatically think he's been stalking me. If I haven't given you my real name or address and you suddenly started popping up anywhere with either of those, I'm gonna be creeped out by you and let you know full well just how I feel about it.

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Nothing has changed
Everything has changed

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RE: How would you react, ladies? - 3/12/2014 1:18:30 AM

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Today was a really hard day. My children were assaulted again. My children!

We have asked for a year to be left alone. This is what it becomes.

When someone is sick, twisted beyond health, when you can't get away.....

You can't get away. It burns your inner soul. You can't just be happy. You just can't.

My children? For the love of Christ! What in the fuck is wrong with you?

_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to littlewonder)

RE: How would you react, ladies? - 3/12/2014 3:50:34 AM

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LdayPact - sorry for your situation. In your place, I would definitely switch to a "shall issue" state (i.e. Carry Concealed).

And, ladies, I just want to clarify... I have not, and never would, do the detective work and send a letter like I described (grin). I was betting that the "Creepy" meter would peg, even with that, but I wanted to check and be sure.

(in reply to LadyPact)

RE: How would you react, ladies? - 3/12/2014 5:48:50 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: SterlingMorgan

And, ladies, I just want to clarify... I have not, and never would, do the detective work and send a letter like I described (grin). I was betting that the "Creepy" meter would peg, even with that, but I wanted to check and be sure.

Not to go all Emily Post on you or anything, but what part of inappropriate would you be unclear about? When would you send a love letter, greeting card or written note to a lady of interest?

1. Maybe--You live in the same neighborhood, and you both know each other's residential address. If she doesn't find you of any potential interest to her, this would register on her Creep-o-meter, so you're taking a big chance.
2. You've met, left it open to go out on a date soon, and she's given you her address to come pick her up. (Doesn't happen very often in this day and age if she has reason to be cautious.)
3. You've started dating and you have her address already. In this case, it would be advisable to send a note with a thank-you floral delivery. It doesn't have to be roses, but you should have already found out what her favorite flowers and colors are.
4. Uncool to bother a lady at her place of employment. You have one window annually, and that's on Valentine's Day. Suggest stuffed animal or chocolates included with floral delivery. Roses should be color-coded as follows: Avoid Red unless you're her boyfriend. Pinks are okay (English TeaRose is preferable), as is a Peachy Pink. Creamy White to emphasize the innocence of your intentions. While a full dozen isn't necessary, less than that can convey the impression that you're too cheap to spring for that many.

_____________________________

Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage. - Lao Tzu
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(in reply to SterlingMorgan)

RE: How would you react, ladies? - 3/12/2014 6:31:57 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: SterlingMorgan

Ladies, a question for you. As described, the initiator was interested in the person, but did not see a response on CM, and did not see that the object of his affection had even BEEN on CM lately. If he did the same detective work, but then sent a snail mail letter (and JUST a letter) - would that still trigger the creep-o-meter in you lades?

Hands down yes. It's inappropriate and stalkerish. Now he not only knows where I live, but he *wants* me to know he knows where I live, and that he'll contact me at my residence.

I'd be very concerned.

LadyPact, I am so sorry to read this!! I don't even know what to say. Police, restraining order, hire a dude named Guido...

I hope your kids are ok.

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RE: How would you react, ladies? - 3/12/2014 6:55:01 AM

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quote:

Ladies, a question for you. As described, the initiator was interested in the person, but did not see a response on CM, and did not see that the object of his affection had even BEEN on CM lately. If he did the same detective work, but then sent a snail mail letter (and JUST a letter) - would that still trigger the creep-o-meter in you lades?

Sending a letter would creep me out ALOT more than turning up at my door. I feel like a guy can do alot to rectify turning up at my door, but seriously if he sends a letter, I will never trust him.

(in reply to SterlingMorgan)

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