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RE: I hate it when........ - 2/28/2009 8:29:17 AM

everhope

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hejira...your post brought back such vivid memories. i felt like i held my breath for 3 years hoping all the while we would both come out alive. we did. i was a single Mom to two boys and it was the toughest time of my life....you too will survive...i did...
you have my empathy....what you are going through is tough stuff....the kind that builds character and patience....not all on the same day...lol
hugs to you,
brenda

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Post #: 22581

RE: I hate it when........ - 2/28/2009 8:48:40 AM

SavageFaerie

Posts: 4377
Joined: 12/3/2004
From: NYC
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: hejira92

I wish!!
My house is actually the neighborhood safe house- I can't tell you how many different kids have found a safe place and couch for the night. I've had some stay for weeks.

Why does this sound so familiar...

Oh because when my kids were teens my house was the house for throw away kids. I had some stay for years and being that someone was there 24/7 my door was always open, I would not know from one day to another just who I would wake up to in my house. I was friend to all, I was mom to all and I didnt judge any of them for idiot stuff that had done or did. Most made sure that my house stayed the safe house.

That and I was the mega cool mom would rather little things would have a blind eye turned as long as Mom knew they were all home safe and sound. Plus all including my own knew I had no tolerance for getting in bad trouble and I would tough love and let them pay for any deed they did. I was not a bail out mom ever.

So hejira, I kind of know where you are coming from.

< Message edited by SavageFaerie -- 2/28/2009 8:50:42 AM >

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Post #: 22582

RE: I hate it when........ - 2/28/2009 9:08:44 AM

hejira92

Posts: 2272
Joined: 10/27/2005
From: Palm Beach County, Fl
Status: offline

Thanks so much! I need all the support I can get right now.

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Post #: 22583

RE: I hate it when........ - 2/28/2009 10:33:07 AM

SavageFaerie

Posts: 4377
Joined: 12/3/2004
From: NYC
Status: offline

Honie having got my to adulthood, I would be happy to share how I managed not to kill them and none are actually in jail at this time.

I say at this time as the middle son has this stoopid habit of getting drunk and driving *sigh* Still mom refused to bail him, he got there he can get himself out. The last bout lost him the first job that he was at for years and he was their go to person for out of town jobs. But *sigh* he has more problems than those that are addictive, he is also on the radical end of bi-polar and his probation office has him in a required program where he has to address it and they have determined that due to how he reacts to manic is pretty disabling despite medication. But he is no towing the line and putting himself full force into treatment and doing just as his probation officer says. Texas could have slamme him totally in the big house for the last incident but she was kept away of what was going on and they let him come back to Texas n his own.

While they do grow up....being a mother never ever ends, except as adults they are responsible for their own actions, much like I did when they were below adult age.

My inbox is always open, with my grown kids and all the throw away teens I raised I have probably addressed about ever hard issue.

Tough love is so hard, but sometimes they just cant learn without it. I taught them what I could even in a you live you learn way, I can only advise now and hope they will listen.

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Disclaimer:If its the wrong word or misspelled I blame on my fingers and brains refusing to interact.

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Post #: 22584

RE: I hate it when........ - 2/28/2009 10:42:15 AM

sirsholly

Posts: 42360
Joined: 9/7/2007
From: Quietville
Status: offline

quote:

I say at this time as the middle son has this stoopid habit of getting drunk and driving *sigh* Still mom refused to bail him, he got there he can get himself out.

you GO Sage!!! Probably the reason he is trying to turn his life around right now is because mom practiced tough love. And one day he will realize the "tough" part is what it does to the parent.

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Post #: 22585

RE: I hate it when........ - 2/28/2009 10:44:40 AM

sirsholly

Posts: 42360
Joined: 9/7/2007
From: Quietville
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: hejira92

I hate it that I don't get to go to Master's house tonight because the 15 yr old (insert terrible curse word here) is grounded again and I have to play warden!

(((((hug)))))

Yanno...it would be so easy to go to Masters house. You are taking the difficult path, Hejira, and your son will benefit from it. Though...he may never admit it

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Post #: 22586

RE: I hate it when........ - 2/28/2009 10:53:57 AM

SavageFaerie

Posts: 4377
Joined: 12/3/2004
From: NYC
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: sirsholly

quote:

I say at this time as the middle son has this stoopid habit of getting drunk and driving *sigh* Still mom refused to bail him, he got there he can get himself out.

you GO Sage!!! Probably the reason he is trying to turn his life around right now is because mom practiced tough love. And one day he will realize the "tough" part is what it does to the parent.

He got in legal trouble at 17 going on 18. I let him sit in jail. I was very ticked when my mom bailed him. This last time he was out of town on a job an decided to hit the center of Y on the highway with a rental car in Baltimore. Only thing he got from me a place to stay for a week and a ticket back to TX to clear up his them mess in there wth his prior incident.

You have to holly, or they will expect to get away with things with no lesson. Once they are grown you can only hope that how you raised them will work within their lives. But he is honestly towing the line of his requirements. For some reason real authority (legal) will push him to do right. Its when he isnt being made to do whats right or take meds that he gets into trouble.

He definetly has always been my problem child, but I dont discount th fact that he has an agressive form of bi-polar while having a very high IQ, it doesnt help when that takes over his reason.

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Post #: 22587

RE: I hate it when........ - 2/28/2009 1:33:09 PM

hejira92

Posts: 2272
Joined: 10/27/2005
From: Palm Beach County, Fl
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: sirsholly

quote:

ORIGINAL: hejira92

I hate it that I don't get to go to Master's house tonight because the 15 yr old (insert terrible curse word here) is grounded again and I have to play warden!

(((((hug)))))

Yanno...it would be so easy to go to Masters house. You are taking the difficult path, Hejira, and your son will benefit from it. Though...he may never admit it

Thanks, Holly. I often wish doing the RIGHT thing and doing the EASY thing were one and the same.

And, Sage, you're right- this motherhood thing never goes away. I'm just looking forward to the day when it's a bit more long-distance.

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Post #: 22588

RE: I hate it when........ - 2/28/2009 1:35:27 PM

Christinestill

Posts: 1199
Joined: 12/4/2008
Status: offline

i hate when i get over emotional and sensitive, which is pretty much all the time lately.

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Learning to color outside the the lines a little more each day.

yes i'm pro-gun, i'm not about to sit around with a fucking rolling pin and hope for the best.

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Post #: 22589

RE: I hate it when........ - 2/28/2009 1:48:26 PM

SavageFaerie

Posts: 4377
Joined: 12/3/2004
From: NYC
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: hejira92

quote:

ORIGINAL: sirsholly

quote:

ORIGINAL: hejira92

I hate it that I don't get to go to Master's house tonight because the 15 yr old (insert terrible curse word here) is grounded again and I have to play warden!

(((((hug)))))

Yanno...it would be so easy to go to Masters house. You are taking the difficult path, Hejira, and your son will benefit from it. Though...he may never admit it

Thanks, Holly. I often wish doing the RIGHT thing and doing the EASY thing were one and the same.

And, Sage, you're right- this motherhood thing never goes away. I'm just looking forward to the day when it's a bit more long-distance.

This being why I am so glad Im not in Texas LOL They and with the exception of my

sister in NYC all in the same damn area. I do my best to avoid and keep in touch in the distance. LOL

_____________________________

Disclaimer:If its the wrong word or misspelled I blame on my fingers and brains refusing to interact.

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Post #: 22590

RE: I hate it when........ - 2/28/2009 2:08:11 PM

Daddysredhead

Posts: 23574
Joined: 11/6/2005
From: Northern (yet still part of the South) Virginia
Status: offline

*sending great big sisterhood-of-the-Mommies hugs to hejira*

Dear gary, don't I know what a tough row it is to hoe at times. You've done a great job with the older one, hang in there...

*more hugs*

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Post #: 22591

RE: I hate it when........ - 2/28/2009 2:19:49 PM

Daddysredhead

Posts: 23574
Joined: 11/6/2005
From: Northern (yet still part of the South) Virginia
Status: offline

I hate it when I have to lay the smackdown on my neighbor who was once one of my dearest friends. Her life is in the shitter because of her oldest UM and she really has no one but herself to blame for the situation. However, she wants to create chaos for other people so the negative attention isn't only on her. She tried to blame Thing 1 for something, when the kid wasn't even around (was with his dad, out of state, for gary's sake), and doesn't know that I know she was the one who pointed the finger at him.

Fast-forward a couple of weeks and she had the unbelievable nerve to try to flirt with DaddyBoo and ask if her jeans made her look fat. She didn't realize that I was just around the corner and could hear everything she was saying. Well, no one ever accused me of being the nicest bitch on the block, so I came around the side, and before He could even get a word out, said, "No, bitch, the jeans are fine, it's your ass that makes you look fat. Who the phuk are you to try to get my Man to look at you like that?" She was, well... gobsmacked, and DB was just stunned and said, "Dayum..." I looked at Him and said, "Sorry, Boo, but I just don't play with attention whores like this," and continued towards the car. He didn't say anything to her, and came with me to the car. She looked all hurt and went inside.

He smiled once we were on the road and said, "That's how you treat a friend, baby?" I answered, "No, that's how I treat a phukkin' bitch." He started laughing and I asked what that was about... He said, "I'd hate to see how you act when the earrings come off."

edited for wee typo

< Message edited by Daddysredhead -- 2/28/2009 2:21:04 PM >

_____________________________

Founding Member, Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair-a's

Do not challenge me to a battle of wits & come to fight unarmed.

Are you really that stupid? ~ Bless your heart

13th doughnut

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Post #: 22592

RE: I hate it when........ - 2/28/2009 2:24:37 PM

Christinestill

Posts: 1199
Joined: 12/4/2008
Status: offline

red, i wish i would have had you in the office when i was getting laid off yesterday.

_____________________________

"Ya can't be scared if you're laughing!" -lushy

Learning to color outside the the lines a little more each day.

yes i'm pro-gun, i'm not about to sit around with a fucking rolling pin and hope for the best.

(in reply to Daddysredhead)

Post #: 22593

RE: I hate it when........ - 2/28/2009 2:37:54 PM

Daddysredhead

Posts: 23574
Joined: 11/6/2005
From: Northern (yet still part of the South) Virginia
Status: offline

Christine, I should be a Gemini or something. I honestly have a big heart full of love for people I care about, but there are just some places where I do not suffer fools well. Trying to brush up on my Man will get a bitch knocked down more than a few pegs, trying to mess with my Things or my dad... well, it's just "on" at that point.

The strangest thing is that one of the attorneys in the office told me and the office manager yesterday that I handled the public (esp. the combative, irritating public) better than anyone she ever knew. I was very happy because that is a skill that I have honed to a finely chisled point. However, I will make sure they know that they are on my bad side, but I do it intellectually, if that doesn't work, then I will use humor to poke at what they have said. The third go-round, well, I just get all redheaded and such.

_____________________________

Founding Member, Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair-a's

Do not challenge me to a battle of wits & come to fight unarmed.

Are you really that stupid? ~ Bless your heart

13th doughnut

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Post #: 22594

RE: I hate it when........ - 2/28/2009 2:59:31 PM

Christinestill

Posts: 1199
Joined: 12/4/2008
Status: offline

well, hot stuff....you have the "knack". i only think of clever, snappy come-backs...well hardly ever, but when i do it's always after the fact rofl.

_____________________________

"Ya can't be scared if you're laughing!" -lushy

Learning to color outside the the lines a little more each day.

yes i'm pro-gun, i'm not about to sit around with a fucking rolling pin and hope for the best.

(in reply to Daddysredhead)

Post #: 22595

RE: I hate it when........ - 2/28/2009 3:01:56 PM

Daddysredhead

Posts: 23574
Joined: 11/6/2005
From: Northern (yet still part of the South) Virginia
Status: offline

Ah yes... delayed comeback. That just sucks.

_____________________________

Founding Member, Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair-a's

Do not challenge me to a battle of wits & come to fight unarmed.

Are you really that stupid? ~ Bless your heart

13th doughnut

(in reply to Christinestill)

Post #: 22596

RE: I hate it when........ - 2/28/2009 3:04:07 PM

Christinestill

Posts: 1199
Joined: 12/4/2008
Status: offline

yeah it does. luckily, that's the only thing with me that "delayed". hehe.

_____________________________

"Ya can't be scared if you're laughing!" -lushy

Learning to color outside the the lines a little more each day.

yes i'm pro-gun, i'm not about to sit around with a fucking rolling pin and hope for the best.

(in reply to Daddysredhead)

Post #: 22597

RE: I hate it when........ - 2/28/2009 3:05:12 PM

LeMis

Posts: 9255
Joined: 9/24/2005
From: Florida
Status: offline

I hate it when life gets too busy & I miss stuff (ie: bewbies) & people here...

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Make a mental note . . . oh, I see you're out of paper!
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(in reply to Daddysredhead)

Post #: 22598

RE: I hate it when........ - 2/28/2009 3:08:52 PM

Kalista07

Posts: 4240
Joined: 7/1/2007
Status: offline

i hate it when i've already eaten twice today (a bagel this am and sandwich at noon) and i'm hungry again....
geez oh pete!!

Kali

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Post #: 22599

RE: I hate it when........ - 2/28/2009 3:10:17 PM

LeMis

Posts: 9255
Joined: 9/24/2005
From: Florida
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Daddysredhead

I hate it when I have to lay the smackdown on my neighbor who was once one of my dearest friends. Her life is in the shitter because of her oldest UM and she really has no one but herself to blame for the situation. However, she wants to create chaos for other people so the negative attention isn't only on her. She tried to blame Thing 1 for something, when the kid wasn't even around (was with his dad, out of state, for gary's sake), and doesn't know that I know she was the one who pointed the finger at him.

Fast-forward a couple of weeks and she had the unbelievable nerve to try to flirt with DaddyBoo and ask if her jeans made her look fat. She didn't realize that I was just around the corner and could hear everything she was saying. Well, no one ever accused me of being the nicest bitch on the block, so I came around the side, and before He could even get a word out, said, "No, bitch, the jeans are fine, it's your ass that makes you look fat. Who the phuk are you to try to get my Man to look at you like that?" She was, well... gobsmacked, and DB was just stunned and said, "Dayum..." I looked at Him and said, "Sorry, Boo, but I just don't play with attention whores like this," and continued towards the car. He didn't say anything to her, and came with me to the car. She looked all hurt and went inside.

He smiled once we were on the road and said, "That's how you treat a friend, baby?" I answered, "No, that's how I treat a phukkin' bitch." He started laughing and I asked what that was about... He said, "I'd hate to see how you act when the earrings come off."

edited for wee typo

eta the quote... duhhh...

< Message edited by LeMis -- 2/28/2009 3:35:51 PM >

_____________________________

Make a mental note . . . oh, I see you're out of paper!
Make somebody happy. Mind your own business.

Better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to speak out and remove all doubt. — Lincoln

(in reply to Daddysredhead)

Post #: 22600

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