Toppingfrmbottom
Posts: 6528
Joined: 6/7/2009 Status: offline
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When the shit is hitting the fan or people are upset, it's just my nature to want to be silly and goofy to cheer them up and try to make everything all better, and naturally sometimes that's not appropriate or wanted I know that logically , I just find it hard sometimes to sit quietly and not say anything, or try to cheer the person up or to not get squirmy. I have always been that way, as far back as I can remember. Then if my efforts to make them happy are not appreciated I get hurt, even though I know logically, it's not the proper time to try to be cute and goofy. There's just something about other people's grief that makes me uncomfortable. Like sometimes if we're in therapy and something I have said, has made him cry, or something we're working on, I just really don't look over and look at him, because I don't want to see how much what I am saying or we're working on is hurting him. Not that I don't care, just that I can't really face him to well when he's hurting. One time he was crying and I reached out to offer my hand to him, and a stuffed toy, since I take a stuffed toy to therapy with us, and then was hurt when he didn't notice my hand there for him t o squeeze, or want to hold the toy I offered. And that's part of my problem, I get hurt over stupid things. I think it's part of me being so empathetic and sensitive and a little kid at heart. I just want to make the owie in the heart all better, and my little side doesn't always like that you can't make someone else's heart owie all better with hugs kisses and a toy to squeeze. I'm a very gentle soul, and other people's heart owies hurt my heart and gentle soul way to much. I have been known to cry over complete strangers posts of heart owies on here, like when Red said she cried a bunch cause she sent her kids on vacation to SL with out her. I think Angie might be able to work on my heart and soul being to tender. Which is completely selfish, I think because he's faced me a ton of times when I was hurting or having a pissed off cry. Iquote:
ORIGINAL: angelikaJ Tfb, I am wondering if what makes you "nervous" is that you are afraid that you won't be doing it right? Being sad because your daddy is sad IS ok... as long as you don't forget that he is sad and the reason for it. It is true that it isn't "about you"...but feeling sad when someone we love is hurting is normal, I think as long as it doesn't become completely and totally overwhelming. Not going because you can't handle it isn't wrong either. Perhaps though in therapy you could ask her how to be able to be able to both be sad because he is sad AND be supportive to him... how to be able to manage both your fears (of not handling it) and your feelings well enough so that it would be ok to go... ...so that you would feel comfortable in going so as to be a comfort to him. edit: spelling
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