quote:

ORIGINAL: igor2003

I keep reading where the ladies (OR gentleman) that require a tribute say it seperates the game players from the serious submissives.  Honestly, i can't see how this could work, at least not in the way they say.

quote:

ORIGINAL: velvetears

quote:

ORIGINAL: Eldritchdancer

"If a Dominant, be they male or female, demands tribute to meet with them at all... how are they different from a prostitute/giggilo? In both cases you are giving something of value just for the pleasure of their company."
Master Darkmoon

The common use of the word means sex for money. i suppose you could argue that what they do is sexual, if not actually engaging in sex.  The other meaning of prostitute is a when you  use your talent or abilities in a base and unworthy way, usually for money. Very ambiguous.  If you think what they do is base and unworthy, why do you seek them out to begin with? 

There is a disparity in what you said above (i bolded it).  Why is it the sub gives something of value and the domme only gives "the pleasure of their company"  Doesn't she bring her knowledge, skills, toys (if appropriate) to the sub as well - are they not of value?  What value does the sub bring - the need to have a session , why is this seen as so valuable?  If this were in a context of a meaningful relationship then it would be very valuable to those in the relationship, but we aren't talking about relationships.  This is a service a professional provides, much like a tax accountant, or teacher, doctor, lawyer, etc.... 

quote:

ORIGINAL: mercmjm

I agree, dommes who require tribute are whores.  Whether its money or gift or whatever.  It does not matter if you say you must paint my fence and fix my pc inorder to be my slave, you are still a prostitute,.  Infact they are what is ruining the lifestyle for alot of male and female subs who are new to this

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ORIGINAL: MstrssPassion

quote:

ORIGINAL: igor2003



So I ask... how can offers of tribute weed out players when men are all too eager to give you whatever tribute it is that you would ask for?

It looks as though my simple request for a letter weeds them out DAMN good.  

MstrssPassion, I didn't say that it would. I just said that perhaps *I* should consider it. Nothing else seems to be working for me. I do get letters with all sort of offers of servitude, etc. However, it takes considerable time and effort to get to know someone to find out if these offers are sincere or not. I'm putting that in with a select few and yet nothing seems to ever "pan out." Perhaps I am to blame for making poor choices. I tend to like much-younger subs and maybe that is the main problem. Immaturity is definitely something I don't care to deal with. Then again, I feel that I am pretty selective who I choose to give my time and attention to. Although, *I* am totally honest and straight-forward from the beginning, it has been my experience , that most others are not. They'll tell you what they think you want/need to hear just to gain and keep your interest upon them. When all the while, I should be giving someone more "worthy" the chance. If you had wasted as much of your precious time as I have, perhaps you might consider other options as well.

Be well,
M. Diva

(in reply to MstrssPassion)

quote:

ORIGINAL: BoiJen

Okay so what's the difference from a date where one person is required to pay for the meal or the movie or whatever?

quote:

ORIGINAL: MstrssPassion

quote:

ORIGINAL: igor2003

I agree... In any other practice of "dating" if a woman was to tell the one who wished to court them... "listen, I need to know you are serious about getting to know me so I want you to bring me/buy me this....." she would be labled a gold-digging, materialistic bitch & the suitor would  most likely cancel the date.
Exactly!!!
soooo....

This whole tribute thing doesn't make sense to me & I fail to see how it can be an effective screening process. Why?  Because I flat out tell people that I don't want tributes. Yet every single day I am offered money, gifts, asked about wish lists & various other questions that all lead up to "how much is it going to cost me/what do I need to buy you in order to meet you. Darn I don't get any of that, maybe I should change my name to something more feminine!

All I've asked for is a polite & insightful letter of introduction that also reveals that they have read a few details I have mentioned about myself & my current status... all of which may determine that it is ME that is not compatible with THEM. I might get one of those letters once every few months or so.

So I ask... how can offers of tribute weed out players when men are all too eager to give you whatever tribute it is that you would ask for?
Well I don't know about you but I would take on a sub that was against all this tribute stuff far quicker than one that offered. You know why? cos he's got self respect.

It looks as though my simple request for a letter weeds them out DAMN good.  

(in reply to MstrssPassion)

quote:

ORIGINAL: mercmjm

I agree, dommes who require tribute are whores.  Whether its money or gift or whatever.  It does not matter if you say you must paint my fence and fix my pc inorder to be my slave, you are still a prostitute,.  Infact they are what is ruining the lifestyle for alot of male and female subs who are new to this

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ORIGINAL: gothicdiva

quote:

ORIGINAL: MstrssPassion

quote:

ORIGINAL: igor2003



So I ask... how can offers of tribute weed out players when men are all too eager to give you whatever tribute it is that you would ask for?

It looks as though my simple request for a letter weeds them out DAMN good.  

MstrssPassion, I didn't say that it would. I just said that perhaps *I* should consider it. Nothing else seems to be working for me. I do get letters with all sort of offers of servitude, etc. However, it takes considerable time and effort to get to know someone to find out if these offers are sincere or not. I'm putting that in with a select few and yet nothing seems to ever "pan out." Perhaps I am to blame for making poor choices. I tend to like much-younger subs and maybe that is the main problem. Immaturity is definitely something I don't care to deal with. Then again, I feel that I am pretty selective who I choose to give my time and attention to. Although, *I* am totally honest and straight-forward from the beginning, it has been my experience , that most others are not. They'll tell you what they think you want/need to hear just to gain and keep your interest upon them. When all the while, I should be giving someone more "worthy" the chance. If you had wasted as much of your precious time as I have, perhaps you might consider other options as well.

Be well,
M. Diva

But Diva don’t fall into this trap. You can earn serious money as a pro Domme. You could pay your mortgage off within five years and guess what? You don’t even have to be a ‘real Domme’ you can be just a good actress. Why just settle for tributes when you can have so much more?

Perhaps that’s not what you want and I wouldn’t blame you. When you’re a pro you do not get the same choices, just as you don’t get the same choices when you take tributes. I say you don’t get the same choices because you miss out on all those genuine subs that don’t believe in giving tributes.

Of course it takes considerable time. I have been doing this for many years and in all that time I have had only a handful of subs that met my true desires. Lets remember that the good subs are putting in just as much time and effort to find the second part of the jigsaw puzzle. They too have to work at this.

And so you should be selective but so should a sub. To work this has to be a two way thing. You speak to many, many time wasters and yes it does get frustrating and the sub that you eventually find and want is probably at this moment in time speaking to equally as many time wasters! But he’s out there somewhere and sooner or later, hopefully your paths will cross.

(in reply to gothicdiva)

quote:

ORIGINAL: gothicdiva
MstrssPassion, I didn't say that it would. I just said that perhaps *I* should consider it.

<snip>

If you had wasted as much of your precious time as I have, perhaps you might consider other options as well.

Be well,
M. Diva

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ORIGINAL: Mercnbeth

quote:

Or it is someone who sells a service in an unworthy manner.(How you can define that, however, is beyond me)

It is there where we have common ground. "Unworthy" qualifies the activity but it is subject to perspective. Putting food on table for your family requires selling some service in some manner. "Worthy" only requires acceptance of a dose of rationalization when your service isn't what you once felt "unworthy".

My "training" of my children, regarding whatever they do in life, focused on using the "prostitution" reference. I tell them that unless they work for themselves they prostitute themselves to anyone they work for. I don't have any moral distinction between a job at the 'Bunny Ranch' in Nevada to a junior attorney in a law-firm. (Although I'd have more respect for the Bunny Ranch career.)

I don't have any qualification of good or bad to the word prostitute when I use it. I use it in term of it's basic definition - payment for service rendered. In that context the "payment" and the "service" can be broadly defined.

Of course, even self employed or in an ownership position, we all have a common "pimp" - The government who gets their tax cut regardless.

In modern dictionaries (Oxford/Websters etc) its defined as 'sexual service', not simply 'service'.  (Plus the whole 'unworthy' addition - Dictionaries are my fetish after all).  Someone who offers a particular service is a professional. - But I do agree that we are all pimped either way...

quote:

ORIGINAL: MstrssScarlet

~~~But Diva don’t fall into this trap. You can earn serious money as a pro Domme. You could pay your mortgage off within five years and guess what? You don’t even have to be a ‘real Domme’ you can be just a good actress. Why just settle for tributes when you can have so much more?~~~

Then I must be doing something terribly wrong because no one in this household is living high on the hog.  Like most people, we live pretty much from paycheck to paycheck.  If you could let me know how I could correct this in order to get my house paid off (in 5 short years!), I'll call the bank and tell them to cancel that request for a re-finance.
Mistress Scarlet