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RE: So he sent the pic and then....... - 5/26/2007 10:18:03 AM

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From: West Palm Beach, FL
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If you are going to make a decision based on a face pic then don't engage with conversation without one.

The only way you can ensure not speaking with some you find unattractive is to see what they look like upfront.

You obviously are including a physical attraction to your determining process so be up front about it. If they don't comply, then don't engage.

Sure, many people don't want to show their pic & that's completely within their right but they also have to understand that this limit the numbers of those who will to speak with them. Many people prefer to not speak with other until they have a picture.

There is no win-win scenario where everyone gets what they want everytime & no one has their feelings hurt every single time.

Good policy. Don't engage in the kind of conversation that you would prefer to have with only those who you would find attractive when you don't know what they look like. Also make it known from the start that in order for things to move into a more personal type of interaction that you do consider physical attraction to be high on the list.

Don't look for excuses to spare someone feelings when letting them down... best to never build it up in the first place. Just be upfront with them from the start. No shame in saying I want to have a relationship with someone I find to be physically attractive.

< Message edited by MstrssPassion -- 5/26/2007 10:25:21 AM >

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RE: So he sent the pic and then....... - 5/26/2007 10:19:38 AM

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From: Columbus, OH
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very difficult situation if you value people's feelings.
I like you answer of "thank you, but I'm looking for a different type"
It doesn't insult or degrade, but makes your point.

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RE: So he sent the pic and then....... - 5/26/2007 10:21:13 AM

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I can't imagine how that would hurt anyone's feelings. Sometimes women tell me I'm not their type, and I'm like what the fuck? I'm every woman's type.

But then it's pretty hard to hurt my feelings, so maybe I'm not a good example to follow.

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

Usually, the most polite thing I think I can do is say thank you, but I'm looking for a different type.

(in reply to LadyPact)

RE: So he sent the pic and then....... - 5/26/2007 10:25:45 AM

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From: Columbus, OH
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Not to or about OP. But on the same subject.

So how is it that you talk to a person for a while, exchanging mails,
maybe a phone call. Everything is great, then you get his pic....
Suddenly, he's not your type ??

YES, that is SHALLOW

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RE: So he sent the pic and then....... - 5/26/2007 10:32:59 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: VeryMercurial

Sad adults must have to say this, but do we tell everyone what we really think?
I mean do we?
Do you go to work and tell your boss what you think of him every day?
We can always pick what we want to be honest about in life.
Either you care about hurting peoples feelings or you don't.
I try not to say what I feel would be hurtful to me.
I don't need someone to tell me they find me unattractive, so I don't feel that I need to say that to other people.
Do we not all tell white lies to live in this world?
That is just how I do business.

Dearest VeryMercurial

i don't think anyone here is advocating slapping someone with, "Your very
unattractive or i don't find you appealing, or God you're ugly". In the
course of honest communication, "i am not attracted to you, or to be
honest, you're not my physical type" should do. Of course we don't
spend our days telling some of the people around us exactly what we
might think of them, usually they're not seeking such, and to do so would
certainly make life miserable to say the least. Here, there is no right or
wrong answer, simply preference and personal application as to how
we wish to address, or be addressed in the situation. i prefer to be honest,
and wish someone to be honest with me concerning this issue, though as
i stated, one does not have to be mean about it, just makes them ugly.

Rejection is rejection, for whatever reason, hurts a bit, but we move on.
For "myself", i would prefer straigtforward rather than the "little white lie"
which most of us can perceive no matter how sugar coated it arrives.
i don't think the desire to share honestly with others necessarily makes
us "sad" individuals, it is simply how we wish to approach the matter.
Again here, one does not need to be mean, but "i" for one respect those
whom can communicate genuine feelings with me. No right or wrong
when done appropriately, honestly, this is just how i feel.

Born to serve, chia* (the pet)

_____________________________

Love is a many splendid sting.

You can stick me in the corner, but I'll probably just end up coloring on the walls.

(in reply to VeryMercurial)

RE: So he sent the pic and then....... - 5/26/2007 10:35:34 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: SadisticMan

Not to or about OP. But on the same subject.

So how is it that you talk to a person for a while, exchanging mails,
maybe a phone call. Everything is great, then you get his pic....
Suddenly, he's not your type ??

YES, that is SHALLOW

Yes, that I agree with. I tend to ask for the pic fairly early on, so it doesn't quite become this. I think the scenerio you describe is more leading someone on, if physical appearance is also a contributing factor to deciding if there is interest or not.

(in reply to SadisticMan)

RE: So he sent the pic and then....... - 5/26/2007 10:37:02 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Lordandmaster

I can't imagine how that would hurt anyone's feelings. Sometimes women tell me I'm not their type, and I'm like what the fuck? I'm every woman's type.

But then it's pretty hard to hurt my feelings, so maybe I'm not a good example to follow.

Lord, you crack Me up sometimes!

(in reply to Lordandmaster)

RE: So he sent the pic and then....... - 5/26/2007 10:44:30 AM

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Lordandmaster

I can't imagine how that would hurt anyone's feelings. Sometimes women tell me I'm not their type, and I'm like what the fuck? I'm every woman's type.

But then it's pretty hard to hurt my feelings, so maybe I'm not a good example to follow.

Maybe it's because you send those damn elephants as your pic--would scare Me off too!---LOL

< Message edited by MHOO314 -- 5/26/2007 10:49:32 AM >

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RE: So he sent the pic and then....... - 5/26/2007 10:50:20 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: MHOO314

quote:

ORIGINAL: peepeegirl5

Try bi-sexuality.

I've heard that what happens to women over 45 is that the males they are attracted (younger) to aren't attracted to them. It's also my understanding that all males want to love you, take care of you, and protect you forever (until you're 40).

Perhaps you're experiencing (or soon will be) a variation of the "live by the sword, die by the sword" phenomenon.

WTF??? First of all, I don't know what you are reading, but burn it---women like Lady Pact, Myself and others, have more than our share of Men from 20 ( yep 20) to 75 to choose from, We are hardly desparate or are the men we are attrated to, un attracted to Us---puhleez----

um...I'm with you Mhoo314....I didn't know that the hell she was talking about either...first of all it had nothing to do with the post...and second it was the biggest piece or fiction I'd ever read...lol I figured she meant it as a joke....or she was having some kind of "flashback" to something....lol

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RE: So he sent the pic and then....... - 5/26/2007 10:54:35 AM

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DrkJourney,

Perhaps PPG's post was a failed attempt at sarcasm. It doesn't always translate online. Hell, she's not even OLD ENOUGH to have a "flashback" to anything....*wink* Perhaps it's from the drugs her MOM did during the 1960s....*grin*

M. Diva

< Message edited by gothicdiva -- 5/26/2007 10:55:14 AM >

(in reply to DrkJourney)

RE: So he sent the pic and then....... - 5/26/2007 10:58:09 AM

Posts: 143
Joined: 8/19/2006
From: Columbus, OH
Status: offline

you could use the response I got from a female in New Jersey I think she was.
Sent my pic, in the suit, not a bad pic, I'm no Mel Gibson, but Hollywood
hasnt sought me out to be a scary monster either.

her response was " I'd rather slam my head in a car door 27 times than be seen with you"
This has become quite a famous line where I work, I'd love to share comments from total idiots.

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We are looking into forming a committe to look into a study to discuss the possibilities of making recommendations to the chair so that it may be considered as an option sometime in the near future, at least we're thinking about it.

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RE: So he sent the pic and then....... - 5/26/2007 10:58:59 AM

Posts: 173
Joined: 5/17/2007
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I have gotten some seriously cranky responses on other sites after telling someone they weren't my type. One gent who was neither physically nor in any other way my type went so far as to send me the scathing response a lady friend of his had written after finding out I had told him I wasn't interested. It took every bit of my self-control to keep from writing a response stating that if I found myself wanting someone who was overweight, socially inept, underemployed, ill-groomed, obsessive and severely depressed, I wouldn't bother looking, I'd just shoot myself on the spot.

Asking for a photo up front helps enormously.

(in reply to MstrssPassion)

RE: So he sent the pic and then....... - 5/26/2007 11:01:28 AM

Posts: 143
Joined: 8/19/2006
From: Columbus, OH
Status: offline

[/quote]

Try bi-sexuality.

I've heard that what happens to women over 45 is that the males they are attracted (younger) to aren't attracted to them. It's also my understanding that all males want to love you, take care of you, and protect you forever (until you're 40).

Perhaps you're experiencing (or soon will be) a variation of the "live by the sword, die by the sword" phenomenon.

[/quote]

Reception has failed, destination undefined.

_____________________________

We are looking into forming a committe to look into a study to discuss the possibilities of making recommendations to the chair so that it may be considered as an option sometime in the near future, at least we're thinking about it.

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RE: So he sent the pic and then....... - 5/26/2007 11:02:32 AM

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Joined: 5/6/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: gothicdiva

DrkJourney,

Perhaps PPG's post was a failed attempt at sarcasm. It doesn't always translate online. Hell, she's not even OLD ENOUGH to have a "flashback" to anything....*wink* Perhaps it's from the drugs her MOM did during the 1960s....*grin*

M. Diva

Yes that was one of the things that I stated....that I assumed it was a joke....or at least I hope it was...lol

Didn't look at her age, but you are right...must have been something that happened in the womb....LOL

you kill me Goth...lol

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RE: So he sent the pic and then....... - 5/26/2007 11:05:45 AM

Posts: 137
Joined: 1/28/2007
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quote:

If you are going to make a decision based on a face pic then don't engage with conversation without one.

I agree with Passion on this one! Also a suggestion, ask for a current picture. I keep a current picture on my chatting profile but not on CM. Case in point I was speaking with someone and they informed me there picture was at least 5 years old. Along with many other things were old.

I still try to use the old lesson "If you can't say anything nice don't say anything at all".

I just try to say something like "thanks and best wishes to you!"

~J~

(in reply to LadyPact)

RE: So he sent the pic and then....... - 5/26/2007 11:12:59 AM

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Joined: 6/24/2005
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I just find it refreshing that other's have the same issues I do sometimes. I send a pic and then they drop off the face of the earth or they send a rude reply that wasnt needed, wanted or necessary.

Thanks for the comments and the soul lifting - putting your face out there can be frightening after a few bad experiences.

WyckedMystress

(in reply to canupleaseme)

RE: So he sent the pic and then....... - 5/26/2007 11:15:07 AM

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Joined: 5/6/2007
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To the OP:

You can't help who you are attracted to...so my suggestion is no conversation without a pic first. Then whatever excuse you use, distance, etc. it won't look like you are not interested just because of their looks.

My thing, I ask for a pic, just because I have one...but I do try to read the email, and a profile first before I look at a pic if one is attached to an email. Just a little trick I play on myself (I know weird..lol)

I like to know if I am not attracted to the person because of the personality I get from his words or the way he looks.

The way a person acts is what makes a person attractive or not to me. I've had some that acted like total "butts" and would be considered very "hot" looking, and I've had some that are just wonderful, they make me laugh and can actually have a real conversation....then you see their pics....one friend thought this last guy was one to throw back...but when I saw him, I thought he was the hottest guy on the planet.

I think it's great that you want to let someone down easy and tell them at least "something" I just hate those that have been talking to you for a while, then you exchange pics and they disappear. That is one reason I have a pic up front....that's me...like me, or hate me....if they are only interested in my looks, they don't have to waste my time if they are not interested.

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...Look into my eyes and I'll own you....

(in reply to DrkJourney)

RE: So he sent the pic and then....... - 5/26/2007 11:52:36 AM

Posts: 32566
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Drk, thank you for your opinion,. Funny thing about it is this example of Mine is the exception, rather than the norm. It was just something that occurred and I thought it might make for an interesting topic.

Edited so I could learn to spell the word 'thank'. Stupid typo.

< Message edited by LadyPact -- 5/26/2007 12:52:10 PM >

(in reply to DrkJourney)

RE: So he sent the pic and then....... - 5/26/2007 11:56:11 AM

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I think it's a great topic. I hope you don't think my ramblings were meant as anything but that.....Just about everyone struggles with this...including myself, which is basically what I was trying to say...lol

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RE: So he sent the pic and then....... - 5/26/2007 12:10:23 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: MstrssPassion

If you are going to make a decision based on a face pic then don't engage with conversation without one.

Seems common sense from Mistress Passion. Still, then that leads in to the next "the person who showed up didn't match his/her picture" thread.

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