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RE: The Great Domme Migration - 5/28/2007 7:40:49 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: igor2003

Just out of curiosity, for those submissives who's previous Mistress DID move away would it be better to not mention having served at all, or to tell the truth and be thought a lier? Many people believe that omission is as bad as a lie, but in this instance if a sub tells the truth, apparently many potential Mistresses will label him a lier and move on.

I think you do need to be honest but when it is appropriate.

Telling someone up front "my former mistress/dom moved" raises questions and seems unnecessary. It can sound almost like you are bragging, are looking for sympathy, or that you aren't over her -- none of these are very appealing.

Better to talk about that when you are asked about your experiences. Don't just talk about the one that moved though, talk about munches, clubs, other play partners, books, conventions, other things or you risk again seeming like you really don't have much experience.

Be ready to explain why you didn't move with her.

I can explain why I didn't move with a previous slave of mine: I own a house, have a husband and another slave at that time plus I and that other slave were in school here. Those are a lot of reasons to not move.

_____________________________

Love, Peace, Hugs, Kisses, Whips & Chains,

TammyJo

Check out my website at http://www.thetammyjo.com Or www.tammyjoeckhart.com

And my LJ where I post fiction in progress if you "friend" me at http://thetammyjo.livejournal.com/

(in reply to igor2003)

RE: The Great Domme Migration - 5/28/2007 8:13:43 AM

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Yes I've heard this, I think they are all with the Dom/mes who "died" suddenly.

~Lashra

_____________________________

“We can never judge the lives of others, because each person knows only their own pain and renunciation. It's one thing to feel that you are on the right path, but it's another to think that yours is the only path.”

(in reply to DominaSmartass)

RE: The Great Domme Migration - 5/28/2007 8:24:17 AM

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Joined: 5/22/2004
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Calandra

quote:

ORIGINAL: igor2003
Just out of curiosity, for those submissives who's previous Mistress DID move away would it be better to not mention having served at all, or to tell the truth and be thought a liar? Many people believe that omission is as bad as a lie, but in this instance if a sub tells the truth, apparently many potential Mistresses will label him a liar and move on.

Igor, you have never seen My inbox here. It is cluttered with submissives with the wildest stories of submission and sacrifice - until I ask for verification of minor details and then the stories change suddenly. I always assume someone is telling the truth until I get to the stage where we begin discussing details and they don't have any answers.

If a slave has cared for a woman who is dying from cancer he will immediately be able to answer a few basic questions about the skill required to do so. He would also be able to tell Me where she died and where she is interred. Honestly, I would think that he'd at least remember her name (guys, if you are going to lie, at least give us credit for being perceptive and lie WELL - LOL)

If his Mistress moved to another location, why are they not still in touch unless there is more to the story? Did the woman just disappear off the face of the planet? Do they not have phones, email, and postal service where She moved to? I'd think that if this were an honest to god relationship where the people actually cared about each other and interacted with each other, that the parting wouldn't be a total 100% break unless there was a BREAK-UP.

C'mon, you can infer that we are unfair in our approach to these stories, but do you ever spare one thought to all the "submissives" who actually DO lie and therefore screw it up for the honest ones?

You Ladies must realize that you're giving these liars good tips on how to be even better liars...

(in reply to Calandra)

RE: The Great Domme Migration - 5/28/2007 8:28:56 AM

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And it doesn’t just stop in mail. I had a sub male for some time who told me all about his Dommes death. He went into great detail and even shed a few tears.
Some time later, in fact a long time later I met this woman alive and well at a munch!
The reason he didn’t want me getting references off her is because clearly he was still seeing her as well as me!

(in reply to Calandra)

RE: The Great Domme Migration - 5/28/2007 8:30:13 AM

LightHeartedMaam

Posts: 296
Joined: 5/12/2007
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I find the number of submissives that want to "serve" me in Arizona to be directly proportional to the winter weather where they are. Go figure, eh? :)

_____________________________

Now that I'm older, I thought it was great that it seems I have more patience. Turns out, that I just don't give a sh*t.

(in reply to DominaSmartass)

RE: The Great Domme Migration - 5/28/2007 8:32:15 AM

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Joined: 11/22/2006
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Now I feel really naive.
I have sat in tears listening to stories of previous Mistresses dying.
Or moving away without taking their subs with them.
You mean they might have been lying?
I never even considered the possibility.
I'd rather have a newbie any day anyway so why lie?
The idea of passing over a sub to another Mistress is a good one though.
I often get young newbie subs who know that they want children one day. It would be great if I could train them and then pass them on to a younger Domme as a father for her children.
However if a D/s relationship breaks down because of a Dommes selfishness in moving away or a subs selfishness at not going with her then it wasn't a very good relationship anyway.

(in reply to Lashra)

RE: The Great Domme Migration - 5/28/2007 8:56:26 AM

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Joined: 5/27/2007
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Pardon me, but I'm new to this site and wondering if it is always this slow to load. Also, collarme.com seems to be down. I'm looking for a "home" and this looks interesting, but not if there are download issues.

As to your post, DominaSmartass, yes....you make a good observation! If you find where they all have gone, I may follow.....

(in reply to DominaSmartass)

RE: The Great Domme Migration - 5/28/2007 9:34:57 AM

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subfever, I understand your point, however a liar will always BE a liar until they see the need to stop within themselves. A genuinely truthful person finds lying to be repugnant. I am a firm believer that even a good liar will reveal themselves if you take the time to engage them in deep conversation.

I remember owning a very busy chatroom several years ago. This "slave" was often in there with sad story after sad story. She was very subtle, but there were inconsistencies in her comments. One day she was in there for several hours, during a collaring of two of the regulars, and afterwards when the conversation became more general again. During a lull in chat, she posed a question: "What do you think about a Master who sells his slave when he no longer wants her?" following up with "but what if she doesn't even know the new Master?" etc. In short order, the room was totally focused on her. There were people planning to charge in and arrange an intervention. Others were explaining that she could contact 911 even from a computer, and still others were discussing how she should put his name out in her local area to protect other unsuspecting slaves.

I just sat back for a few minutes and pulled up logs. At one point I was asked in open chat why I was so quiet. I simply replied in public that I was amused at the conversation. People were outraged!!! I simply began reposting this slave's own posts from earlier in the day and previous visits. During the collaring, she had "carressed her naked throat, hoping for the day she would find a Master" just two hours earlier!

She had previously discussed having a teenaged son and owning her own business. Posted links to purchase some of her stuff, even. She got very quiet and left the room humiliated. She'd COUNTED on no one noticing the manipulations. The entire room ended up feeling like donkeys for being fooled.

My point? People sometimes forget to listen to the details and apply them to other things the person has said. If I hear a sub/slave talk about something one day, then another day they say something that doesn't fit, I DO NOT point it out at first. I act very interested in the story and ask for details. Only when I am fairly sure that there is still an inconsistency will I then mention the previous information and confess My confusion. I listen closely to the explanation.

It's called critical thinking and we all have a responsibility to make sure that we are not EASILY fooled. If someone fools Me for any length of time, I am seriously impressed. That person deserves an Oscar!

Most liars want easy targets, if I refuse to swallow everything someone says, then I have protected Myself and those who are in My life from this unethical person.

_____________________________

Lady Kathryn
Athens, Ga.
House of Phoenix

"Nothing is ever final until you're dead - and even then I'm sure God negotiates" Anjelica Huston in Everafter

(in reply to subfever)

RE: The Great Domme Migration - 5/28/2007 9:47:11 AM

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Many liars and game players in the world, on both sides of the fence.

(in reply to Calandra)

RE: The Great Domme Migration - 5/28/2007 9:49:28 AM

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Joined: 1/12/2006
From: This month? Maryland
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: chiaThePet

then i opened my eyes and realized it's just another "what can we
find wrong with the submissives" chapter in the book of "why am i alone?"

Mmmmmm, nothing like a hot cup of coffee and the morning views.

Eh, lighten up. With all the bullshit we have to deal with from the 99% of subs who are liars, why not have fun talking about it? You're free to start a thread in the ask a slave forum about why so many dommes seem to be money hungry whores. That's totally up to you.

_____________________________

“These S&M people ... they are bossy! There’s also a creepy connection between leather sex, ‘Star Trek’ and the Renaissance Faire.”

- Comedian Margaret Cho

(in reply to chiaThePet)

RE: The Great Domme Migration - 5/28/2007 9:57:14 AM

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Joined: 5/6/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: DominaSmartass

Just out of curiosity, how many of you have encountered subs who are looking for a new Mistress because their previous one moved to California or Europe? I swear, I've seen this line more times than I can count. Just thought it would be fun to discuss.

lol....I've noticed this as well....but you left out something else....we are also dropping like flies....I get a lot of my Mistress died as well. Or all of a sudden, the woman who was with no one but the sub/slave woke up one morning and decided to marry some vanilla guy...lol

_____________________________

...Look into my eyes and I'll own you....

(in reply to DominaSmartass)

RE: The Great Domme Migration - 5/28/2007 9:59:01 AM

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I do think of few of the women did move, they moved to get away from their submissive!

(in reply to DrkJourney)

RE: The Great Domme Migration - 5/28/2007 10:02:00 AM

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Joined: 5/6/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: MamaDomme

I've wondered about that migration also! Just seems uncanny how all these Dommes tend to leave the country without their precious subs/slaves. And the ones that die leaving so many young slaves...... almost scares me!

That is why I never miss an episode of America's Most Wanted....I've notice how many young "widowers" out there.....there's got to be some Domme serial killer out there....lol

_____________________________

...Look into my eyes and I'll own you....

(in reply to MamaDomme)

RE: The Great Domme Migration - 5/28/2007 10:07:18 AM

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Joined: 1/1/2004
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Calandra
C'mon, you can infer that we are unfair in our approach to these stories, but do you ever spare one thought to all the "submissives" who actually DO lie and therefore screw it up for the honest ones?

I don't think i "inferred" that anyone was being unfair in any way. If you read it that way then i apologize. I was simply asking a serious question. Many Ladies either in their profile or in their first correspondence will ask about previous experience. I've only had the opportunity to serve one Mistress real time (though several online), and She did, in fact, move away. Her live-in vanilla boyfriend was transfered to a different state. She and i do still stay in touch and are friends and i'm relatively certain that She would, give a recommendation if one were asked for. But from the sound of some of the posts there are at least a few ladies that would not let things get far enough for a recommendation before deciding that i am just another sub telling a story. So i asked the question.

And honestly, no i have not given a lot of consideration to all the subs that DO lie because i have my own problems with Dommes that want to judge me by what other people have done. Kinda works both ways doesn't it?

(in reply to Calandra)

RE: The Great Domme Migration - 5/28/2007 10:10:05 AM

Posts: 1917
Joined: 5/6/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: igor2003

Just out of curiosity, for those submissives who's previous Mistress DID move away would it be better to not mention having served at all, or to tell the truth and be thought a lier? Many people believe that omission is as bad as a lie, but in this instance if a sub tells the truth, apparently many potential Mistresses will label him a lier and move on.

With me: Number one I prefer that he wait until I ask before telling me about his past Mistress. And number two, just simply say that it didn't work out. That's life, not all couples work out. And if she moved and didn't take him that is exactly what happened. And one thing I notice, that makes it a "story" for me...not ONE has said that they didn't go because it they just couldn't move, (job, family, etc.) It's always the same story that the cold hearted Domme just threw them away like kleenex

they are living in a fantasy world. The world where they are the perfect slave and they would never ever leave their Mistress and she would never ever dismiss him. The only reason they are not together is that he didn't fit in her luggage....oh please

_____________________________

...Look into my eyes and I'll own you....

(in reply to igor2003)

RE: The Great Domme Migration - 5/28/2007 10:12:06 AM

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Joined: 6/5/2006
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I also don't see the reason to make up all these lengthy lies.
The truth is so much better.
If she left you because she was not happy with you, just admit it.
It is far better than the lies.

(in reply to DrkJourney)

RE: The Great Domme Migration - 5/28/2007 10:13:48 AM

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Joined: 5/6/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: chiaThePet

Gee, just got this picture of a great herd moving through the Sarengetti,
exploding clouds of dust reaching ever skyward, thunderous echoes
of mighty hoofs striking fear in the hearts of creatures big and small,
then i opened my eyes and realized it's just another "what can we
find wrong with the submissives" chapter in the book of "why am i alone?"

Mmmmmm, nothing like a hot cup of coffee and the morning views.

Quick boys form a circle, herd em up, move em out, ye hah!

Born to serve, chia* (the pet)

hmmm..I didn't get that at all. We were simply talking about a small group that contact "us". I didn't see anyone say anything about ALL submissives do this.

It's just a funny thread....and sometimes it's nice to know that you are not the only one things happen to.

_____________________________

...Look into my eyes and I'll own you....

(in reply to chiaThePet)

RE: The Great Domme Migration - 5/28/2007 10:15:56 AM

Posts: 620
Joined: 6/5/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: DrkJourney

quote:

ORIGINAL: chiaThePet

Gee, just got this picture of a great herd moving through the Sarengetti,
exploding clouds of dust reaching ever skyward, thunderous echoes
of mighty hoofs striking fear in the hearts of creatures big and small,
then i opened my eyes and realized it's just another "what can we
find wrong with the submissives" chapter in the book of "why am i alone?"

Mmmmmm, nothing like a hot cup of coffee and the morning views.

Quick boys form a circle, herd em up, move em out, ye hah!

Born to serve, chia* (the pet)

hmmm..I didn't get that at all. We were simply talking about a small group that contact "us". I didn't see anyone say anything about ALL submissives do this.

It's just a funny thread....and sometimes it's nice to know that you are not the only one things happen to.

Time for me to step away from this thread, looks like another train wreck coming here.
I don't want to be a part of this one.

(in reply to DrkJourney)

RE: The Great Domme Migration - 5/28/2007 10:22:58 AM

Posts: 1917
Joined: 5/6/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: VeryMercurial

I do think of few of the women did move, they moved to get away from their submissive!

you got that right....lol

_____________________________

...Look into my eyes and I'll own you....

(in reply to VeryMercurial)

RE: The Great Domme Migration - 5/28/2007 10:30:45 AM

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Joined: 2/4/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: DominaSmartass

quote:

ORIGINAL: chiaThePet

then i opened my eyes and realized it's just another "what can we
find wrong with the submissives" chapter in the book of "why am i alone?"

Mmmmmm, nothing like a hot cup of coffee and the morning views.

Eh, lighten up. With all the bullshit we have to deal with from the 99% of subs who are liars, why not have fun talking about it? You're free to start a thread in the ask a slave forum about why so many dommes seem to be money hungry whores. That's totally up to you.

Looks like somebody forgot to sprinkle a little sense of humor on Her
Lucky Charms this morning, so much for "a fun discussion". Let's see,
money hungry whores? Got something You might need to get off Your
chest?

Born to serve, chia* "lighter than air" (the pet)

_____________________________

Love is a many splendid sting.

You can stick me in the corner, but I'll probably just end up coloring on the walls.

(in reply to DominaSmartass)

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