quote:

ORIGINAL: GuidingLite
maybe your not domina and are insteead pixels subgirl when you say you take care of his needs before your own. that wuz whut you said. 

 - snip -

you dont know how to be dominate and in charge and be nurturing at the same time?

You know Guiding Lite, I do my very best to ignore your posts here on CM.  Rarely are they helpful or constructive in their nature to anyone.  Instead, they're always critical and negative of others, rarely contributing anything useful to the conversation.

When you insult my Mistress, I take great offense.  If you read my prior post, I stated quite clearly that she mistated herself and the intent of her precise meaning in her initial post.  Perhaps if you took the time to read both my post and hers that followed, you would have known and understood this to clearly be the case.  Yes, there are times when she does put my needs before hers.  Generally we strike a balance and that is our D/s dynamic that we choose to live.  Who are you to criticize the choices that we have made?  It works for us, so why should you care? 

Perhaps if you focused more on the positive instead of criticising others for the choices they make, you'd have a submissive of your own anxious to serve you and be there for you when you needed him; something you might want to think about while you consider (or more likely justify) in your mind all the reasons that you're presently alone.

I won't engage in a trashy debate with you on this subject as I've often seen occur with others on the boards.  I think all that needs to be said regarding it has already been clearly stated.  Whether you understand it, agree with it or not, is of no consequence to me.  If you can't say something positive or constructive then please keep your opinions to yourself in the future regarding posts concerning me or my Mistress as I'll always be ignoring them in the regardless of what you have to say.  IMO, there's no excuse for the kind of rudeness and disregard for others you spread throughout the forums here on CM.

quote:

I am so very glad that I do not need the opinion or judgment of another dominant to clarify or validate my dominance!  To my submissive; I am dominant. To those that matter to me and my life; I am dominant. 

quote:

ORIGINAL: GuidingLite

quote:

you dont know how to be dominate and in charge and be nurturing at the same time?

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ORIGINAL: pixelslave

 
When you insult my Mistress, I take great offense.  If you read my prior post, I stated quite clearly that she mistated herself and the intent of her precise meaning in her initial post.  Perhaps if you took the time to read both my post and hers that followed, you would have known and understood this to clearly be the case.  
 
 - pixel

quote:

ORIGINAL: Politesub53

quote:

ORIGINAL: pixelslave

 
When you insult my Mistress, I take great offense.  If you read my prior post, I stated quite clearly that she mistated herself and the intent of her precise meaning in her initial post.  Perhaps if you took the time to read both my post and hers that followed, you would have known and understood this to clearly be the case.  
 
 - pixel

Hi pixel, i cant agree with you on one point. your Mistress stated Her viewpoint quite clearly in Her first post. If She decides She wants to do things " Her " way then so what. You both have a relationship which is working very well for you, which is nice.

Anyone who has read both Her and your posts across the boards cant fail to see She is a Domina in the fuller sense of the word.

Regards...politesub

Please note that I've put highlighted in bold in what is quoted above in my post as compared to yours that I was referring to Mistress' later response, not her initial post.  Regardless, you are correct that she definitely is a Domina in the fuller sense of the word; and a great one for that matter if you were to ask me!    

That said, it was never my intent to hijack this thread, only to straighten out any misunderstanding of the nature of my Mistress while defending her right to be different than what some perceive, as the way "a Mistress ought to be".  One of the precepts of this lifestyle is for every couple to have the right to define their relationship the way they wish it to be and for others not judge it as being D/s or not.  It's very disappointing to me see just how often I see that happening here on the boards and not just with us.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Politesub53

Hi again pixel MsKat is correct, i was pointing out that i have found all of your Mistress`s posts to be very clear, not just on this thread but generally. i guess if you note what people say then you get a certain sense of posting styles, which leads to less confusion on the boards.
Sorry to the OP for getting off topic a tad.

No problem Politesub, I was taking you literally and clearly didn't understand your actual intent.  That often happens when communicating via the net.    I've even been to the UK several times (including Scotland, although they are known to deny from time to time any association with the part to the south), and will confess I often found it like listening to a foreign language whenever I hear the "Queen's English" spoken.  I won't even mention what listening to "Cockney" was like for me!   

Thank you Ms Kat for setting me straight.  Your contributions to this forum are very often quite helpful, especially today.  

Thank you both for what you've had to say.  My sincerest and humblest apologies if I've over reacted or offended either of you in any way.

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ORIGINAL: thetammyjo

The issue, at least for me, is not should you care about your partner but should you care more about him/her or before you do yourself.

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ORIGINAL: BBBTBW

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ORIGINAL: thetammyjo

The issue, at least for me, is not should you care about your partner but should you care more about him/her or before you do yourself.

It certainly depends on the situation.  For example:

I made an appointment with a realtor to view a house that I am interested in buying.  I want my sub/slave to go with me, but he has a date in court and needs me for moral support.  If I don't make my appointment, I will surely not get this house as it is hot on the market.  What do I do?  The way I look at it is houses come and go, My slaves emotional and mental well being is far more important than brick and mortor.  I  cancel my appointment and go to court with and for him. 

Does this make me any less DOMINANT in your eyes?

In my eyes it doesn't.  I made the decision to support my slave in an issue that was obviously important to him thus keeping his emotional and mental health in check rather than follow my more selfish ideal and look at a house to purchase.

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ORIGINAL: BBBTBW

quote:

ORIGINAL: thetammyjo

The issue, at least for me, is not should you care about your partner but should you care more about him/her or before you do yourself.

It certainly depends on the situation. For example:

I made an appointment with a realtor to view a house that I am interested in buying. I want my sub/slave to go with me, but he has a date in court and needs me for moral support. If I don't make my appointment, I will surely not get this house as it is hot on the market. What do I do? The way I look at it is houses come and go, My slaves emotional and mental well being is far more important than brick and mortor. I cancel my appointment and go to court with and for him.

Does this make me any less DOMINANT in your eyes?

In my eyes it doesn't. I made the decision to support my slave in an issue that was obviously important to him thus keeping his emotional and mental health in check rather than follow my more selfish ideal and look at a house to purchase.

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ORIGINAL: GoddessDustyGold

quote:

ORIGINAL: BBBTBW

quote:

ORIGINAL: thetammyjo

The issue, at least for me, is not should you care about your partner but should you care more about him/her or before you do yourself.

It certainly depends on the situation.  For example:

I made an appointment with a realtor to view a house that I am interested in buying.  I want my sub/slave to go with me, but he has a date in court and needs me for moral support.  If I don't make my appointment, I will surely not get this house as it is hot on the market.  What do I do?  The way I look at it is houses come and go, My slaves emotional and mental well being is far more important than brick and mortor.  I  cancel my appointment and go to court with and for him. 

Does this make me any less DOMINANT in your eyes?

In my eyes it doesn't.  I made the decision to support my slave in an issue that was obviously important to him thus keeping his emotional and mental health in check rather than follow my more selfish ideal and look at a house to purchase.

Well, for Me, I would have to say that I would follow this up with more questions.
 
Did you make the appointment when you did not know he had this court date?  If so, why didn't you know?
 
This question to me is inconsequential.  It really doesn't matter when the appointment was made or the court date.  The deciding factor here is which do I deem of higher priority.

Did you mix up your schedule and make this appointment when you already knew of this?
 
Again, inconsequential.

Could you reschedule your appointment to see the house before you have to go to court?
 
Again inconsequential. This was a hypothetical question.

Is the reason for going to court a reason you support and condone and therefore you are willing to support him in this time of difficulty?
 
I would not have cancelled my appointment to support him in court if I didn't feel it was important.

 
The last question, I think, would be the most important one for Me. 
Regardless of the answers, I would not consider you less Dominant because you place this unusual and sensitive situation above your own.  It's a one time deal, hopefully, and might be a good example of when we might make a different decision as a Dominant and put the subs needs above our own wishes. 
I answered as I found the example to be quite interesting, but, perhaps thetammyjo will come back in and answer also. 

quote:

ORIGINAL: BBBTBW

Honestly I don't care what anyone thinks of my style. It is my own, it defines who I am. However, I still find it very judgemental that when someone's style doesn't fit into another's definition they are instantly given some obscure label.

It is my opinion that when you put lifestyle and lables before the human factor, you have an explosive combination in the long run. I for one embrace the human element in subs slaves...this includes their weaknesses as well as their strengths as I expect them to do with and for me.

I suppose we can agree to disagree on this subject. It seems we come from very different worlds.

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ORIGINAL: BBBTBW

quote:

ORIGINAL: GoddessDustyGold

quote:

ORIGINAL: BBBTBW

It certainly depends on the situation.  For example:

I made an appointment with a realtor to view a house that I am interested in buying.  I want my sub/slave to go with me, but he has a date in court and needs me for moral support.  If I don't make my appointment, I will surely not get this house as it is hot on the market.  What do I do?  The way I look at it is houses come and go, My slaves emotional and mental well being is far more important than brick and mortor.  I  cancel my appointment and go to court with and for him. 

Does this make me any less DOMINANT in your eyes?

In my eyes it doesn't.  I made the decision to support my slave in an issue that was obviously important to him thus keeping his emotional and mental health in check rather than follow my more selfish ideal and look at a house to purchase.

Well, for Me, I would have to say that I would follow this up with more questions.
 
Did you make the appointment when you did not know he had this court date?  If so, why didn't you know?
 
This question to me is inconsequential.  It really doesn't matter when the appointment was made or the court date.  The deciding factor here is which do I deem of higher priority.

Did you mix up your schedule and make this appointment when you already knew of this?
 
Again, inconsequential.

Could you reschedule your appointment to see the house before you have to go to court?
 
Again inconsequential. This was a hypothetical question.

Is the reason for going to court a reason you support and condone and therefore you are willing to support him in this time of difficulty?
 
I would not have cancelled my appointment to support him in court if I didn't feel it was important.

 
The last question, I think, would be the most important one for Me. 
Regardless of the answers, I would not consider you less Dominant because you place this unusual and sensitive situation above your own.  It's a one time deal, hopefully, and might be a good example of when we might make a different decision as a Dominant and put the subs needs above our own wishes. 
I answered as I found the example to be quite interesting, but, perhaps thetammyjo will come back in and answer also. 

I find this whole topic interesting.  Its eye-opening to see the different takes on this subject.  Its also interesting to see the different styles we tend to employ as DOMINANTS.  This just goes to show that everyone is as different as night and day.  This is what makes us interesting.  I sincerely hope no one's feelings got hurt during this discussion and that no one was made to feel inadequate about thier styles based upon (what I consider) the closed minded responses of some people.