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I don't know whether you are agreeing or disagreeing.  I am only saying that, if you are a true slave, you must have the mindset and the desire to give to someone without any expectation.

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I am only saying that, if you are a true slave, you must have the mindset and the desire to give to someone without any expectation.

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ORIGINAL: KatyLied

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I am only saying that, if you are a true slave, you must have the mindset and the desire to give to someone without any expectation.

A life without expectations holds no interest or value to me.

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ORIGINAL: littlespicyone

I've always thought of my submission as a gift ... as is something I'm good at. I've also spoken about submission as a gift because in taking a collar I GIVE myself and power over me to the Dom. All semantics aside, I've given something precious to abother person and so it is a gift. I don't do it for gratitude and I don't do it so I can have power over someone else ... if I wanted power I'd be a Dom, right? Mostly, though, I use the term because it's "Lifestyle speak" for just because you have a dick doesn't mean I'm going to submit to you. I also think it conveys my need for an intimate relationship and not just a no-strings, kinky sex thing.

Just because I have the need to submit and someone else has the need to dominate, doesn't make the giving of oneself and one's choices any less special or important, if that were the case then what would be the point of developing a D/s relationship? If all it consists of is two people's needs for dominance or submission being met, then we could all just pick someone up at the bar and dominate/submit to her/him.

I think it also emphasises that giving myself is something that I don't do lightly and it lets the Dom know that I do expect to be taken care of ... the way anyone would take care of a special gift that s/he'd been given. My mom gave me a ring ... she did it because she knew I would like it and wanted me to have it. It's a special gift and I take very good care of it. That's the kind of feeling I want to convey when I use the phrase in question.

Lastly, it emphasizes in my mind that I am His. You don't give someone a gift and then take it back just because you feel like it. By giving the gift of myself, I've trusted Him with everything that I am and have and that's important to me. It often seems to me that the men who use the term "gift of submission" tend to use it to really  mean "gift of yourself" which is how I see it. I can give submission to anyone, and do on a regular basis -- at work, at school, at home, at church -- but I don't give myself to just anyone. The men who don't really see it as a gift or as anything but a right granted to them by nature and the fact that they have a penis are the men I want to avoid ... and I do so by using the gift terminology.

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ORIGINAL: VeryMercurial

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ORIGINAL: littlespicyone

I've always thought of my submission as a gift ... as is something I'm good at. I've also spoken about submission as a gift because in taking a collar I GIVE myself and power over me to the Dom. All semantics aside, I've given something precious to abother person and so it is a gift. I don't do it for gratitude and I don't do it so I can have power over someone else ... if I wanted power I'd be a Dom, right? Mostly, though, I use the term because it's "Lifestyle speak" for just because you have a dick doesn't mean I'm going to submit to you. I also think it conveys my need for an intimate relationship and not just a no-strings, kinky sex thing.

Just because I have the need to submit and someone else has the need to dominate, doesn't make the giving of oneself and one's choices any less special or important, if that were the case then what would be the point of developing a D/s relationship? If all it consists of is two people's needs for dominance or submission being met, then we could all just pick someone up at the bar and dominate/submit to her/him.

I think it also emphasises that giving myself is something that I don't do lightly and it lets the Dom know that I do expect to be taken care of ... the way anyone would take care of a special gift that s/he'd been given. My mom gave me a ring ... she did it because she knew I would like it and wanted me to have it. It's a special gift and I take very good care of it. That's the kind of feeling I want to convey when I use the phrase in question.

Lastly, it emphasizes in my mind that I am His. You don't give someone a gift and then take it back just because you feel like it. By giving the gift of myself, I've trusted Him with everything that I am and have and that's important to me. It often seems to me that the men who use the term "gift of submission" tend to use it to really  mean "gift of yourself" which is how I see it. I can give submission to anyone, and do on a regular basis -- at work, at school, at home, at church -- but I don't give myself to just anyone. The men who don't really see it as a gift or as anything but a right granted to them by nature and the fact that they have a penis are the men I want to avoid ... and I do so by using the gift terminology.

Well stated littlespicyone, real submission to me can be called a gift.
A special gift that is to be treasured.
I have no problem calling it a gift, and cherishing the gift when I am given it.

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ORIGINAL: charmdpetKeira

Oh goody, something I can answer, that I have a different opinion on this time around.

I once thought along the lines; while I did not think the act of submitting, was necessarily a “gift”, the fact that the sub offers themselves to a specific Dom was sugnificant, hence possibly making the submissive the “gift” themselves.

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I also felt that if this was the case, the Dominate accepting control over said sub was offering the same, in a different manner. Perhaps this line of thinking came from the way my first relationship in D/s started.

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More recently though, actually just now; I realized, I would not be finding a new owner in the same manner, as the first. The one I submit to this time, will earn my trust in a more overall manner, as I now have a very good idea, of what I am looking for.

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In this line of thinking, he will earn what is given, and therefore it is not a gift or reward, but what is rightfully his. I would presume it will take the same effort on my part to earn his trust, and my right, to be owned by him.

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For me, submission is not a need, something I can’t do without; it is what I desire, something I yearn for, but only with the one who is able, and willing to fulfill all of my needs.

Sincerely,

k

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ORIGINAL: fyreredsub

uhmmmmmmmm

would an oral tip be appropriate?

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ORIGINAL: earthycouple

My Robert..... he's so beautiful. I've never felt so fulfilled in a BDSM realationship.    The gift he gives to me is TRUST;  Submission follows trust.

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Trust is the gift

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ORIGINAL: juliaoceania

I had not responded to this thread because I felt I would only be reiterating past opinions, but it never ceases to amaze me that "gift" threads spawn so much controversy as to end up pages upon pages long with those who ridicule those who feel something is a "gift". I just do not get it!

So submission is a gift to you, give that gift to the person you feel most deserving of it. Ok submission is not a gift to you, don't refer to it as such... it really is all semantics anyways.

What is a little surprising is that the same people I normally agree with when it comes to labeling WIITWD, and each other, seem to take a total opposite stand when it comes to labeling submission as a "gift". I do not see why the need to ridicule people for the beliefs that keep them happy and warm at night.. it isn't hurting anyone that people refer to submission in this way, why the hostility?