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expectations sounds as though one seeks fulfillment

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ORIGINAL: Politesub53

It was just a play on the word expectation, no more no less. For me the gift of anything doesnt mean i expect something back. Which is just as well come christmas.

As a gift - or simply as submission?(By what you said, I would assume, not as a gift)

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ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross


A) I think people should learn and practice making good judgements all the time

B)  We obviously are NOT better than anyone, inside or out, because we condemn eachother all the time

Why would wanting to be kinky or in a particular type of relationship make us any better than anyone else?

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ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

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ORIGINAL: addicted2it
I do not understand why there is so much dissonance and discord between people here who should really come together as a unified force in the persuit of establishment of credibility and right to practice our beliefs within mainstream culture, or at least be allow to coexist, along with the mainstream.

Cuz we're people just like everyone else and we all draw the line at what we consider acceptable in different places.

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People in our community should try to refrain from being judgmental of others, because I think we are better than those outside who regularly point a finger and condemn us for our beliefs.

A) I think people should learn and practice making good judgements all the time

B)  We obviously are NOT better than anyone, inside or out, because we condemn eachother all the time

Why would wanting to be kinky or in a particular type of relationship make us any better than anyone else?

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ORIGINAL: SexyRed

I dislike the term "gift of submission". When I became aware of my submissive feelings way back when, I never thought of it as a gift. I thought of it as just another facet of my being. And I knew I had to find someone to submit to, and I always understood it as a power exchange and agreement.

For some reason, I find it a bit pretentious to call it a gift, because a gift is something you give someone without expecting anything in return, and I for one expect something back when I submit; I expect my needs and his needs to be met.

To me, the gift is in meeting the right partner for the exchange.

So a gift no, but if viewed in the right context, it is a gift that keeps on giving.

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ORIGINAL: darkinshadows

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ORIGINAL: Politesub53

It was just a play on the word expectation, no more no less. For me the gift of anything doesnt mean i expect something back. Which is just as well come christmas.

So, with that said - how do you view submission?

As a gift - or simply as submission?(By what you said, I would assume, not as a gift)

 

Peace

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ORIGINAL: octavia


I did have a guy thank me for sex once.. pissed me right off.  That not a gift.

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ORIGINAL: addicted2it

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ORIGINAL: SexyRed

I dislike the term "gift of submission". When I became aware of my submissive feelings way back when, I never thought of it as a gift. I thought of it as just another facet of my being. And I knew I had to find someone to submit to, and I always understood it as a power exchange and agreement.

For some reason, I find it a bit pretentious to call it a gift, because a gift is something you give someone without expecting anything in return, and I for one expect something back when I submit; I expect my needs and his needs to be met.

To me, the gift is in meeting the right partner for the exchange.

So a gift no, but if viewed in the right context, it is a gift that keeps on giving.

If you are a Femmedomme, then why can't a submissive or slave come to you and give you his or her unyealding service WITHOUT any expectations?  Do you believe that it is not possible for someone who loves you enough to put aside his or her personal needs in order to cater to your needs? 

If a submissive or slave is truly dedicated to his or her owner/mistress/master, their only concern is to give of themselves without expecting anything in return.

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ORIGINAL: dawntreader

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ORIGINAL: octavia


I did have a guy thank me for sex once.. pissed me right off.  That not a gift.

LMAO!!!!!!!!!   i like you octavia!

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ORIGINAL: addicted2it

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ORIGINAL: addicted2it

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ORIGINAL: SexyRed

I dislike the term "gift of submission". When I became aware of my submissive feelings way back when, I never thought of it as a gift. I thought of it as just another facet of my being. And I knew I had to find someone to submit to, and I always understood it as a power exchange and agreement.

For some reason, I find it a bit pretentious to call it a gift, because a gift is something you give someone without expecting anything in return, and I for one expect something back when I submit; I expect my needs and his needs to be met.

To me, the gift is in meeting the right partner for the exchange.

So a gift no, but if viewed in the right context, it is a gift that keeps on giving.

If you are a Femmedomme, then why can't a submissive or slave come to you and give you his or her unyealding service WITHOUT any expectations?  Do you believe that it is not possible for someone who loves you enough to put aside his or her personal needs in order to cater to your needs? 

If a submissive or slave is truly dedicated to his or her owner/mistress/master, their only concern is to give of themselves without expecting anything in return.

I am probably the only one who is replying to his own post, but I DO apologize for misunderstanding your role or preference, SexyRed.  You are not a dominant.  I also agree with you that, domination and submission IS a power exchange, because both the dominant and submissive participants are giving and receiving.   And to me,  that equates  to the equalization of energy, and to the circumstance that neither one is essentially giving or getting more than the other.

Again, and in the true spirit of giving, one should present a gift to another without any expectation of reciprocation.  In other words, there should be no strings attached or conditions placed upon that gift.

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ORIGINAL: octavia

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ORIGINAL: dawntreader

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ORIGINAL: octavia


I did have a guy thank me for sex once.. pissed me right off.  That not a gift.

LMAO!!!!!!!!!   i like you octavia!

Thankies!  I like you toooooooooo.

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ORIGINAL: mstrjx

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ORIGINAL: mpnaleksandra2

When someone refers to submission as a gift... it almost makes it sound as if they are doing their Dominant a favor by submitting to them. I always thought that submision was a need that some people experience, a need that they are driven to fulfill.

What I wanted to point out about your post that might make that way of thinking relevant.  While a submissive might have a 'need' to submit, they don't feel compelled to submit to the world, rather to an individual.  Their free will selects that person most likely to keep their submission best fulfilled in any number of ways.  To that person, it would be a 'gift'.  It could have been the next-door neighbor instead, or somebody two streets over.  No, it was to that person's d-type.

From the dominant perspective, think of a submissive 'voting' for the dominant.  In an election, there could be a lot of people on the ballot, but only that one dominant was selected.  Could you argue that they 'are' doing that person a favor by voting for them?  Sure, why not?

Jeff

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ORIGINAL: Arastella

I hate to be a major bitch... but these kind of questions I find insulting and egotistical of the Dom/Domme.  It makes me feel as if they feel it is their RIGHT to control another, and that by another submitting to them, that's just because it's supposed to be that way and they are entitled to it.  It is a gift because we don't have to give it to you, but we put our trust in you enough to surrender all power to you.  Those who believe they have the right...... just............ urgh.... I won't say.

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ORIGINAL: PapiNsweet

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ORIGINAL: mstrjx

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ORIGINAL: mpnaleksandra2

When someone refers to submission as a gift... it almost makes it sound as if they are doing their Dominant a favor by submitting to them. I always thought that submision was a need that some people experience, a need that they are driven to fulfill.

What I wanted to point out about your post that might make that way of thinking relevant.  While a submissive might have a 'need' to submit, they don't feel compelled to submit to the world, rather to an individual.  Their free will selects that person most likely to keep their submission best fulfilled in any number of ways.  To that person, it would be a 'gift'.  It could have been the next-door neighbor instead, or somebody two streets over.  No, it was to that person's d-type.

From the dominant perspective, think of a submissive 'voting' for the dominant.  In an election, there could be a lot of people on the ballot, but only that one dominant was selected.  Could you argue that they 'are' doing that person a favor by voting for them?  Sure, why not?

Jeff

this argument works well for that particular type of submissive...one who chooses who they will and will not submit to. but what about those submissives like myself, who submit out of instinct and not out of any particular desire to do so? my submission is not limited to my Master or any particular person, it never has been. it has always just been my natural response to the world around me. i could no more describe this as a "gift" than i could describe my brown eyes as such.

for some i think the whole "gift" thing gives them a sense of their submission being special and valuable. however as others have mentioned, to tell a Dominant you are giving him the "gift" of your submission implies that you are doing him a favor by submitting to him and that he should thank his lucky stars. not a very submissive attitude. also, i wonder, do these submissives view Dominance as a gift as well?


-prop