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ORIGINAL: velvetears

quote:

ORIGINAL: addicted2it

If a submissive or slave is truly dedicated to his or her owner/mistress/master, their only concern is to give of themselves without expecting anything in returen.

So the only path to being truly dedicated is to not expect anything in return?  i don't agree.  That sounds good in theory but stinks in practice. 

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ORIGINAL: addicted2it

The path to finding acceptance from a domme should not include any expectations.  You pledge to serve her, and by your well-meaning service, she may grant you the opportunity of fulfilling at least some of your needs.

If you approach a relationship of this kind based upon expections, you will soon learn that selfishness is not the way. 

Giving of one's self is truly the path to happiness, but if you do not have the capacity, or you are not willing to give without expecting something in return, it is not a gift, but a condition, and you will be successful in achieving nothing.

quote:

ORIGINAL: addicted2it

Giving of one's self is truly the path to happiness, but if you do not have the capacity, or you are not willing to give without expecting something in return, it is not a gift, but a condition, and you will be successful in achieving nothing.

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ORIGINAL: CdnExplorer

I don't think addicted2it is talking about taking crumbs from someone and hoping that pure dedication will make it work. Find the compatibility, and THEN give.

It's fine to expect that certain needs will be met, but you don't focus on that when you're giving submission. Or in a vanilla setting with your love. Some people here are making it sound like a business transaction. I'd find someone I'm compatible with, similar kink interests etc...and offer my submission without conditions. ie: Demanding that activity X be performed every other sunday and on the full moon. If it ends up that your needs aren't being met then you discuss it, after all you're both adults right? If despite the basic compatibility your needs cannot be met by the relationship then you end it.

Going into a potential relationship with a list of demands at the very start is a good way to kill the romance of it.

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ORIGINAL: addicted2it

The path to finding acceptance from a domme should not include any expectations.
YOUR path can be whatever you wish.  Please don't assume mine has to match it.
 
If you approach a relationship of this kind based upon expections, you will soon learn that selfishness is not the way. 
Again...it that works for you, great.  Having expectations and being selfish are not the same thing.  We all have expectations about things.  That doesn't mean they are selfish. 

Giving of one's self is truly the path to happiness,
I would agree with that for me.  Not sure everyone would, esp. all dominants. 
but if you do not have the capacity, or you are not willing to give without expecting something in return, it is not a gift, but a condition, and you will be successful in achieving nothing.
And...yet again....maybe in your relationship but not mine.  I place no "conditions" on Master or our relationship but I do indeed receive plenty from Him.  Being happy and receiving positive things in return does not mean I'm not giving, serving, and achieving.  I think many here would concur that it may sound great to talk about everything being one-sided with the sub/slave always just giving and the Dom/Master always just taking and in short-term, "play" relationships maybe this works.  I have yet to know any couple in a long-term, committed relationship who could operate like that indefinitely. 
 
I heard a saying once about being altruistic.  By it's very definition, altruism means unselfish regard for others.  We usually think of it when someone selflessly gives without expecting anything in return.  But, the person being altruistic usually gets a warm, fuzzy feeling from doing so.  Aren't they getting something in return then?  Even if it's just that warm, fuzzy feeling?  Wasn't that perhaps part of what motivated them to be altruistic in the first place?  So, even the most selfless sub/slave who claims to want nothing and never receive anything "in return," really does get something in return even if it's only the feeling of being so selfless...............slave luci

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ORIGINAL: MadRabbit

Your expecting something in return. Your expecting to be happy by selflessly giving yourself to your Domme.

If it didnt make you happy, you probably wont do it.

The point being...its never ever solely about one person in any relationship. Everything is looking to have some needs met, get something out of it, and find fulfillment when they enter into a relationship.

You want the happiness and fullfillment that comes from focusing selflessly on your Mistress. If this expectation of and need for happiness and fullfillment wasnt met, then I doubt you would be selflessly focusing on your Mistress which...ironically brings into question just how compeletely selfless your selfless submission is...
Damn it, Mad Rabbit.  You did it again.  You said what I meant.  That's exactly what I was trying to find the words for.  We ALL are having some need(s)met.  Some simply have the need to feel like they DON'T have needs or that they DO have them but they might not be met.  Again, whatever works for you but, at some level, we all are having some need(s) met ...... slave luci

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ORIGINAL: slaveluci

quote:

ORIGINAL: MadRabbit

Your expecting something in return. Your expecting to be happy by selflessly giving yourself to your Domme.

If it didnt make you happy, you probably wont do it.

The point being...its never ever solely about one person in any relationship. Everything is looking to have some needs met, get something out of it, and find fulfillment when they enter into a relationship.

You want the happiness and fullfillment that comes from focusing selflessly on your Mistress. If this expectation of and need for happiness and fullfillment wasnt met, then I doubt you would be selflessly focusing on your Mistress which...ironically brings into question just how compeletely selfless your selfless submission is...
Damn it, Mad Rabbit.  You did it again.  You said what I meant.  That's exactly what I was trying to find the words for.  We ALL are having some need(s)met.  Some simply have the need to feel like they DON'T have needs or that they DO have them but they might not be met.  Again, whatever works for you but, at some level, we all are having some need(s) met ...... slave luci

quote:

ORIGINAL: MadRabbit
And if selfless submission is the true path to happiness, then all us Dominants, Masters, and Mistresses must be some unhappy fucking people..
Yup, that's what I said above.  Master seems pretty thrilled with His life as it is so there must be some other secret to it......luci

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ORIGINAL: MadRabbit

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ORIGINAL: addicted2it

Giving of one's self is truly the path to happiness, but if you do not have the capacity, or you are not willing to give without expecting something in return, it is not a gift, but a condition, and you will be successful in achieving nothing.

Your expecting something in return. Your expecting to be happy by selflessly giving yourself to your Domme.

If it didnt make you happy, you probably wont do it.

quote:

The point being...its never ever solely about one person in any relationship. Everything is looking to have some needs met, get something out of it, and find fulfillment when they enter into a relationship.

You want the happiness and fullfillment that comes from focusing selflessly on your Mistress. If this expectation of and need for happiness and fullfillment wasnt met, then I doubt you would be selflessly focusing on your Mistress which...ironically brings into question just how compeletely selfless your selfless submission is...

quote:

ORIGINAL: addicted2it

The path to finding acceptance from a domme should not include any expectations.
YOUR path can be whatever you wish.  Please don't assume mine has to match it.
 
If you approach a relationship of this kind based upon expections, you will soon learn that selfishness is not the way. 
Again...it that works for you, great.  Having expectations and being selfish are not the same thing.  We all have expectations about things.  That doesn't mean they are selfish. 

Giving of one's self is truly the path to happiness,
I would agree with that for me.  Not sure everyone would, esp. all dominants. 
but if you do not have the capacity, or you are not willing to give without expecting something in return, it is not a gift, but a condition, and you will be successful in achieving nothing.
And...yet again....maybe in your relationship but not mine.  I place no "conditions" on Master or our relationship but I do indeed receive plenty from Him.  Being happy and receiving positive things in return does not mean I'm not giving, serving, and achieving.  I think many here would concur that it may sound great to talk about everything being one-sided with the sub/slave always just giving and the Dom/Master always just taking and in short-term, "play" relationships maybe this works.  I have yet to know any couple in a long-term, committed relationship who could operate like that indefinitely. 
 
I heard a saying once about being altruistic.  By it's very definition, altruism means unselfish regard for others.  We usually think of it when someone selflessly gives without expecting anything in return.  But, the person being altruistic usually gets a warm, fuzzy feeling from doing so.  Aren't they getting something in return then?  Even if it's just that warm, fuzzy feeling?  Wasn't that perhaps part of what motivated them to be altruistic in the first place?  So, even the most selfless sub/slave who claims to want nothing and never receive anything "in return," really does get something in return even if it's only the feeling of being so selfless...............slave luci

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ORIGINAL: addicted2it

slavelucyi, in no way am I trying to influence you or anyone else into believing that any or all of the elements of my philosophy are true for all.

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ORIGINAL: addicted2it

I am only saying that, if you are a true slave, you must have the mindset and the desire to give to someone without any expectation.

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ORIGINAL: addicted2it
I am only saying that, if you are a true slave, you must have the mindset and the desire to give to someone without any expectation.
Please don't get into the "true" slave thing.  That has a different meaning for every slave on here.  There is no way that we can fit each others' definitions.  It's the height of arrogance for any slave (or anyone else for that matter) to determine what makes another one "true."  They'll blast you off these boards for using that word.  And again, everyone has expectations of some sort.  It's impossible not to. 

There is always a payoff, regardless of whether we are submissive, slave, or dominant.  If our needs are not met (and everyone has their own individual needs), I do not believe that there would be any master or mistress/slave relationship
I wholeheartedly agree........luci


_____________________________

To choose a good book, look in an inquisitor’s prohibited list. ~John Aikin

(in reply to addicted2it)

quote:

ORIGINAL: addicted2it
But pleeezzze, if you want to make your comments more easily readable, please place a bracket in which there is a /quote after each comment that you are responding to, because it will aid us in understanding your POV.  BTW, I do like the purple.  I am sorry, but I can't display the HTML code here, because it would confuse you even more.  ;-)
I use the purple so that my reply does appear distinct from what I'm quoting.  Frankly, I'm ignorant of how to do what you've asked me to do so, no, please don't confuse me even more.....lol......luci

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ORIGINAL: MadRabbit

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ORIGINAL: addicted2it

slavelucyi, in no way am I trying to influence you or anyone else into believing that any or all of the elements of my philosophy are true for all.

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ORIGINAL: addicted2it

I am only saying that, if you are a true slave, you must have the mindset and the desire to give to someone without any expectation.

Hmmm....
.....I know, I know..........luci

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ORIGINAL: bandit25
LOL luci.  This post scrolled by on the left and the first thing I thought was "stop with the 'true' shit!"  You said it a lot nicer than I would have.
Well bandit, I DO try to be diplomatic.  I OFTEN fail, but I honestly DO try.........luci

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ORIGINAL: bandit25
Although I'm not crazy about the purple, your comments are quite distinct luci. I wouldn't worry about it.
....thanks.  I'm sure I'll sleep just fine tonight........luci