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RE: Differences between slaves and how they are treated. - 6/7/2007 2:35:33 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: bottomwildchild

But, is it normal for a slave girl to be so spoiled? And is it ok, to want and ask for material things from your Master? i feel like i am living in the dark ages here..lol.

I wouldn't call it spoiled. I would call it their dynamic. But from their point of view it could well be that she isn't spoiled but that you are overly-controlled.

It's all in what makes you happy as a master/slave couple.

< Message edited by AquaticSub -- 6/7/2007 2:36:30 PM >

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to bottomwildchild)

RE: Differences between slaves and how they are treated. - 6/7/2007 2:40:46 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Archer

The real question is why does it bother me that this slave is treated this way while I am treated this other way?

When you answer that question for yourself then the old question will handle itself.

Darn it. I had already posted and then I read this. I hope the OP considers this point.

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to Archer)

RE: Differences between slaves and how they are treated. - 6/7/2007 2:45:57 PM

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Joined: 3/15/2007
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If one is second-guessing her (or his) relationship with her (or his) Dom(me), then the persons involved should really sit down and have a talk about what the Dom(me) expects from the slave/submissive, and what, in turn, the slave/submissive expects from the One they submitted to.

It is not right, or fair, to be in a relationship where one or both parties are having doubts about one thing or another...

(in reply to Archer)

RE: Differences between slaves and how they are treated. - 6/7/2007 3:09:34 PM

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Joined: 7/29/2005
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Many other posts have covered my own thoughts but I wanted to address this question here:

quote:

ORIGINAL: bottomwildchild
And is it ok, to want and ask for material things from your Master?.

In our house I am required to ask for permission for things that I want. If I see something that I want, to not ask for it is to be disobedient. The reason for this is because it is not me who gets to decide whether I have it or not; it is him. If I don't ask for what I want, then I will not get it. However, in not asking for it, I decided that I would not get it, not him. In essence, I exercised my authority to make the decision that I would not have something by not asking permission. I took authority away from him by not asking. In asking questions, I am actively transfering authority to him. When the question is asked he gets to exercise his authority and make the decision.

Knight's kyra

_____________________________

"Passion... it lies in all of us. Sleeping, waiting, and though unbidden, it will stir, open its jaws, and howl. It speaks to us, guides us... passion rules us all. And we obey..." ~Angelus

(in reply to bottomwildchild)

RE: Differences between slaves and how they are treated. - 6/7/2007 3:34:35 PM

bottomwildchild

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Joined: 6/7/2007
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well, i do appericate everyone's feed back. the reason i opted not to ask my Master this, is because well let's be honest here, i am jealous. bottom line i guess. i do not ask for things, i am given them, and i am happy with that. but, i guess i am amazed at how he treats her. the other slaves, and subs i have been around, have been always more i guess, quiet in a sense, seen not heard. more disciplined maybe. i don't want Master to think for a minute that i do not love Him, or that i desire what someone else has. i do worry, that if i did ask Master for things, yes rejection, but He may think that i am not happy with what i do have. and in some sense it is more than just new appliances, she doesn't wear a normal collar (at least to me) she wears a choker chain from Tiffany's, i guess it's her whole being, she really is a stunning woman, and seems to be extremely thoughtful to Him, and loving, but it was like a zoo..lol.. but is it right that i am in some aspects jealous of her and her life with Him, and is this normal to feel when loaned out to another? there are some things that i don't feel comfortable talking to Master about, and He knows and respects this, and i do feel more comfortable talking to complete strangers that are in the lifestyle, than i would be talking to neighbor..lol...

(in reply to heartofakajira)

RE: Differences between slaves and how they are treated. - 6/7/2007 3:54:13 PM

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If you don't talk to your Master about these things, these things will never get resolved and you will continuously feel resentful and jealous of other slaves..

(in reply to bottomwildchild)

RE: Differences between slaves and how they are treated. - 6/7/2007 4:00:46 PM

Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: bottomwildchild

but is it right that i am in some aspects jealous of her and her life with Him, and is this normal to feel when loaned out to another? there are some things that i don't feel comfortable talking to Master about, and He knows and respects this, and i do feel more comfortable talking to complete strangers that are in the lifestyle, than i would be talking to neighbor..lol...

Honestly, I'd say the fact that you aren't comfortable talking to your master about this is kinda troubling. If that is what you want then you need to talk to him about it.

What would trouble him more, that you are asking for something or that you are keeping things from him?

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to bottomwildchild)

RE: Differences between slaves and how they are treated. - 6/7/2007 4:03:07 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: AquaticSub

quote:

ORIGINAL: bottomwildchild

but is it right that i am in some aspects jealous of her and her life with Him, and is this normal to feel when loaned out to another? there are some things that i don't feel comfortable talking to Master about, and He knows and respects this, and i do feel more comfortable talking to complete strangers that are in the lifestyle, than i would be talking to neighbor..lol...

Honestly, I'd say the fact that you aren't comfortable talking to your master about this is kinda troubling. If that is what you want then you need to talk to him about it.

What would trouble him more, that you are asking for something or that you are keeping things from him?

I agree with Aquatic...i know for sure my Master would be hurt and angry if i were to keep something like my feelings about something like this from Him instead of talking them over with Him.

(in reply to AquaticSub)

RE: Differences between slaves and how they are treated. - 6/7/2007 4:16:10 PM

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Joined: 10/25/2005
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Face the jealousy and talk about it with your master.

People speak in different languages (MasterFireMaam?)

I'm a very materialistic person, a Tiffany's choker speaks more deeply to me than a "good girl" any day of the week. That's just who I am and how I have formed.

There's nothing inherently more valuable in a Tiffany's choker or a good girl- it's how we perceive it and take it into ourselves which makes the difference.

It's ok to be jealous, and it's ok to talk about the jealousy, it's even ok if your master decides to spoil you! But don't make the mistake of equating slave to martyr or sacrifice to submission.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to heartofakajira)

RE: Differences between slaves and how they are treated. - 6/7/2007 5:07:16 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: bottomwildchild

well, i do appericate everyone's feed back. the reason i opted not to ask my Master this, is because well let's be honest here, i am jealous. bottom line i guess. i do not ask for things, i am given them, and i am happy with that. but, i guess i am amazed at how he treats her. the other slaves, and subs i have been around, have been always more i guess, quiet in a sense, seen not heard. more disciplined maybe. i don't want Master to think for a minute that i do not love Him, or that i desire what someone else has. i do worry, that if i did ask Master for things, yes rejection, but He may think that i am not happy with what i do have. and in some sense it is more than just new appliances, she doesn't wear a normal collar (at least to me) she wears a choker chain from Tiffany's, i guess it's her whole being, she really is a stunning woman, and seems to be extremely thoughtful to Him, and loving, but it was like a zoo..lol.. but is it right that i am in some aspects jealous of her and her life with Him, and is this normal to feel when loaned out to another? there are some things that i don't feel comfortable talking to Master about, and He knows and respects this, and i do feel more comfortable talking to complete strangers that are in the lifestyle, than i would be talking to neighbor..lol...

Im just thinking if you where so happy with how things where with you and your Master then why would you possably be jelouse of the other girl. A big part of jelousy is when someone has something you want and dont have, but you have your Master and your relationship so unless you are unhappy with your relationship even in some real small way that you may not want to admit you wouldnt be so jelouse that you had to come here about it. Thats my opinion anyway.

Magik's slave

_____________________________

If you’re going through hell keep on moving
don't slow down
if you’re scared dont show it
you might get out
before the devil even knows your there.

-Rodney Atkins-

(in reply to bottomwildchild)

RE: Differences between slaves and how they are treated. - 6/7/2007 5:58:25 PM

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Joined: 9/11/2006
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quote:

ORIGINAL: justheather

quote:

ORIGINAL: MagiksSlave

what you think she should hike to a lake and beat his cloths on a rock??

She gets to use a rock? Man, I have to use my bare fists...and all the water I have is from a mud puddle.
Some girls really live the life, I tell ya.

LOL Cute

Magik's slave

_____________________________

If you’re going through hell keep on moving
don't slow down
if you’re scared dont show it
you might get out
before the devil even knows your there.

-Rodney Atkins-

(in reply to justheather)

RE: Differences between slaves and how they are treated. - 6/7/2007 6:14:25 PM

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Joined: 6/22/2004
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Do you mean jealous or envious? They're not the same thing. Jealous would be: "I don't want anyone else to have this person, she's mine, mine!" Envious would be: "I wish I had what this other person has!"

quote:

ORIGINAL: bottomwildchild

but is it right that i am in some aspects jealous of her and her life with Him

(in reply to bottomwildchild)

RE: Differences between slaves and how they are treated. - 6/7/2007 6:25:58 PM

Posts: 1145
Joined: 4/6/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: bottomwildchild

but is it right that i am in some aspects jealous of her and her life with Him, and is this normal to feel when loaned out to another? there are some things that i don't feel comfortable talking to Master about, and He knows and respects this, and i do feel more comfortable talking to complete strangers that are in the lifestyle, than i would be talking to neighbor..lol...

I am non-confrontational, especially to those that I love. If I have to discuss something that I percieve as even being partially troubling to those that I love it tears me up inside. What if they think that/do this or I hurt their feelings? Blah blah blah. So I understand the feeling of being more comfortable talking to strangers on the internet who are seperated from your every day life than your master. And maybe that's makes us immature or means that our relationships are in trouble, but I really think it's just a part of our personalities and it's not inherently bad as long as we remain open and honest with our partners.

I would be scared of being loaned out to someone else, even though it sounds hot because of all of the feelings it could possibly drudge up. If you are happy with your relationship, then you should focus on that. If you see some things the other couple do that you feel would benefit your own relationship, you should voice that. You are an active participant in your relationship even if you are not in control. You too are responsible for making it better.

Turn those feelings you are having towards that situation and use them to better yourself.

_____________________________

"No one will ever win the battle of the sexes; there's too much fraternizing with the enemy. "
--Henry A. Kissinger

(in reply to AquaticSub)

RE: Differences between slaves and how they are treated. - 6/7/2007 6:28:21 PM

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Just wanted to add something I left out... If what she has isnt something you wanted you wouldnt be jelouse, and if it is something you want then it seems the relationship you have with your Master isnt exactly what you want.

Magik's slave

_____________________________

If you’re going through hell keep on moving
don't slow down
if you’re scared dont show it
you might get out
before the devil even knows your there.

-Rodney Atkins-

(in reply to junecleaver)

RE: Differences between slaves and how they are treated. - 6/7/2007 6:28:54 PM

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Joined: 2/11/2006
From: USA
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Basically, it sounds like you think your friend has a better deal. Her Master's sensitivity to her happiness seems to have touched you. Her material advantages obviously surprised you. And, you noted the greater freedom her Master allows her.

So let's see, that comes to "more", "more", and "more". Wow!

But how well do you know these people? I mean really. Suppose she is playing her Master as if he was a stringed instrument, manipulating from him what she wants by flattering him, and being "unhappy" when he denies her?

Oops. That's "less", "less", and "less".

K.

< Message edited by Kirata -- 6/7/2007 6:33:54 PM >

(in reply to bottomwildchild)

RE: Differences between slaves and how they are treated. - 6/7/2007 6:35:16 PM

Posts: 8125
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From: Nashville, TN
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Angel is spolied rotten. I enjoy spoiling him, since he is my baby. Nothing wrong with that, and I get the service and affection I want. My Kitten isnt as spoiled materialsticaly, but he is very affectionate and codled and that is how he is spoiled. Neither of mine need permission to get into or out of bed when they are here. Its all a matter of what your Master wishes and how he gets it. If Angel sleeps here, he is not chained, but he is diapered for the night. Kitten isnt. Different aspects to the relationshps, so different ways of being handled.

DV

_____________________________

I will be your Dominate if you will be my submit - Fox

Snarko Ergo Sum
If you cannot change your mind, how are you so sure you still have one? -proverb

*Owner of Fox - collared 10/13/07*
VampiresLair

(in reply to heartofakajira)

RE: Differences between slaves and how they are treated. - 6/7/2007 7:23:13 PM

sublimelysensual

Posts: 298
Joined: 7/25/2005
Status: offline

Here's the thing, the grass is always greener.. I don't think it means you're unhappy in your relationship, or that your needs aren't being met, or anything else other than that you're a normal human being who occasionally experiences envy (as everyone does). I do think you should talk to your Master about it though, and if you're not comfortable verbally discussing it, using journalling or some other medium to get the discussion started. Feeling this way does not make you a horrible person, a bad slave, etc etc, it makes you human. Something to keep in mind..she may even envy the strictness that you have in your relationship...you never know...

-a

_____________________________

"To make oneself an object, to make oneself passive, is a very different thing from being a passive object." -Simone De Beauvoir -'The Second Sex'

(in reply to DiurnalVampire)

RE: Differences between slaves and how they are treated. - 6/7/2007 7:29:20 PM

Posts: 7149
Joined: 7/29/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: bottomwildchild

well, i do appericate everyone's feed back. the reason i opted not to ask my Master this, is because well let's be honest here, i am jealous. bottom line i guess. i do not ask for things, i am given them, and i am happy with that. but, i guess i am amazed at how he treats her. the other slaves, and subs i have been around, have been always more i guess, quiet in a sense, seen not heard. more disciplined maybe. i don't want Master to think for a minute that i do not love Him, or that i desire what someone else has. i do worry, that if i did ask Master for things, yes rejection, but He may think that i am not happy with what i do have. and in some sense it is more than just new appliances, she doesn't wear a normal collar (at least to me) she wears a choker chain from Tiffany's, i guess it's her whole being, she really is a stunning woman, and seems to be extremely thoughtful to Him, and loving, but it was like a zoo..lol.. but is it right that i am in some aspects jealous of her and her life with Him, and is this normal to feel when loaned out to another? there are some things that i don't feel comfortable talking to Master about, and He knows and respects this, and i do feel more comfortable talking to complete strangers that are in the lifestyle, than i would be talking to neighbor..lol...

I think the proper word is ENVY.. and not Jealousy.

Secondly..... it's sad that you have certain topics that you uncomfortable talking to your Master about. Hopefully... he at least knows this and what specific topics raise those feelings. If not.. well... you are going to have a difficult time overcoming these envy issues... and hopefully it does get out of hand for you.

_____________________________

Knight of Mists

An Optimal relationship is achieved when the individuals do what is best for themselves and their relationship.

(in reply to bottomwildchild)

RE: Differences between slaves and how they are treated. - 6/7/2007 7:49:15 PM

Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: MagiksSlave
Just wanted to add something I left out... If what she has isnt something you wanted you wouldnt be jelouse, and if it is something you want then it seems the relationship you have with your Master isnt exactly what you want.

Magik's slave

That's not necessarily true.

I've been jealous of things my partner does with others, or things other people have or do. Things I wouldn't have ever thought of before I saw/heard about them.

But I recognize what it is, deal with it, and move on. It doesn't interfere with my happiness or fulfillment.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to MagiksSlave)

RE: Differences between slaves and how they are treated. - 6/7/2007 9:14:30 PM

Posts: 7683
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Northern New Jersey
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: kyraofMists

Many other posts have covered my own thoughts but I wanted to address this question here:

quote:

ORIGINAL: bottomwildchild
And is it ok, to want and ask for material things from your Master?.

In our house I am required to ask for permission for things that I want. If I see something that I want, to not ask for it is to be disobedient. The reason for this is because it is not me who gets to decide whether I have it or not; it is him. If I don't ask for what I want, then I will not get it. However, in not asking for it, I decided that I would not get it, not him. In essence, I exercised my authority to make the decision that I would not have something by not asking permission. I took authority away from him by not asking. In asking questions, I am actively transfering authority to him. When the question is asked he gets to exercise his authority and make the decision.

Knight's kyra

Color me confused here, but if you are at the store, and see something that you want, but before you have the opportunity to ask, decide you don't want it, why would you ask for it? You are still taking away his authority by deciding that you no longer want it. If you were to now ask for something that you don't want, that would just be silly. Perhaps you could explain this a little further? I must be missing something.

As for the OP, as others have said, the important thing for you is to determine WHY you are bothered by the differences.

(in reply to kyraofMists)

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