RE: "Subs/Slaves"- Spoiled and Otherwise

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RE: "Subs/Slaves"- Spoiled and Otherwise - 6/16/2007 12:07:18 PM

Posts: 3669
Joined: 6/12/2006
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quote:

My point is that a relationship should not be about material things; there are a number of Dom blog entries regarding the greediness of "subs", and I've heard from more than one in chat that this is a common topic.

Sooooooooooo, are you a relationship counselor? What gives you the right to tell strangers what a relationship should or should not be? Besides being married for 17 years (congratulations btw)? That doesn't make you an expert for vanilla relationships, let alone lifestyle relationships.

It might be a common topic where ever you come from, but like I said I've been here for over a year, and I have never seen any type of competition between bottom-types about material things.

Why does it bother you so much that some subs/slaves spoil themselves or are spoiled by their partner? We're all adults here. We have the ability to decide to spend beyond our means or not. Is it anyone elses business if I want to buy a $500 flogger made of elephant foreskin?

I think maybe you need to take some of your own advice and do some introspection and ask yourself why you started this thread in the first place.

_____________________________

He who laughs last didn't get the joke

We have enough youth. How about a fountain of smart?

(in reply to valkyriesdaughte)

RE: "Subs/Slaves"- Spoiled and Otherwise - 6/16/2007 12:44:15 PM

Posts: 220
Joined: 2/26/2005
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This is going to sound so unsubbie like , but who do you think you are? Not all subs are out for what they can get, some of us are professional women / men and make our own money, and purchase our own toys, clothes, etc, now if you choose eye candy then you knew the cost when you bought it. The nice thing about being a sub with a good job is I can afford to be eye candy and pay for it myself. The Dom I give my submission too is chosen on who he is not what he has. If I want and I do know the difference between a want and a need I can pay for it myself , if not I will wait for it.

(in reply to valkyriesdaughte)

RE: "Subs/Slaves"- Spoiled and Otherwise - 6/16/2007 1:16:53 PM

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Interesting thread. I'm a materialistic person and I do attach emotional sentimentality and connection to material things/money spent. I'm ok with that and it seems to be working out ok for me so far.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to untamedshysub)

RE: "Subs/Slaves"- Spoiled and Otherwise - 6/16/2007 3:14:34 PM

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Joined: 6/30/2006
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Gonna chime in here with the other Daddy's girls..... being one of the things my Daddy has always enjoyed doing is spoiling me... whether it's a dinner... a night out... or taking me shopping in one of the posh areas around town in which he always asks me when we are at the registar.... do you have everything you want kittin???... which in his Daddy speak is.... if theres anything else you want in the store you had better say something now, because if I find out later you left something out because you felt it was too much... your in trouble.

kittin

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)

RE: "Subs/Slaves"- Spoiled and Otherwise - 6/16/2007 5:01:01 PM

Posts: 2918
Joined: 8/1/2006
From: Leeds, UK
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Thrift has never been my strong point. If i have money I spend it, if I dont have money I cant. This is how it has always been for me, how it is for my brother and sisters and their families, my parents and grand parents. Other than at university when i spent my food money on clothes this has always worked out for me, and anyhow .. not being able to food shop meant the clothes i was buying were a size smaller than usual so it was win win in my opinion.

My parents are about to celebrate their 42nd year together. 44 years ago my Dad spent two weeks rent taking my mum out to dinner because he wanted mum to kiss him on their first date. My mum spent so much of the money set aside for the wedding on the sexy clothes she wanted to wear for the honeymoon she had to make her own wedding dress. When they were first mnarried they ate tinned beans 4 days a week so they could go out dancing the other 3. I like their style.

Currently I am seeing a woman 20 years older than me, she indulges me at every turn, buying me presents, toys, treats. She isn't spoiling me. She is taking great pleasure and enjoyment from my reactions at being indulged. She is pleased by seeing me dressed up in clothes she has bought me, or taking me out to dinner in a restaurant i like. We take just as must happiness from a walk in the park together as we do from a flash dinner out together. But money was invented to be spent. So why the hell not! why feel guilt for what you do with your disposable income?

_____________________________

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veritas, respectus honorque in corio

(in reply to YourShyPet)

RE: "Subs/Slaves"- Spoiled and Otherwise - 6/16/2007 5:15:08 PM

asubmissiveheart

Posts: 462
Joined: 11/20/2006
Status: offline

I have observed that many here are more concerned about how they look to others
in the community, than being real.
I take what I can use from the boards and leave the rest.

(in reply to valkyriesdaughte)

RE: "Subs/Slaves"- Spoiled and Otherwise - 6/16/2007 5:22:08 PM

Posts: 46
Joined: 2/17/2005
Status: offline

Is anyone else here getting all hot and bothered putting together some sort of scene of being punished for being a very naughty and spoiled rotten slave/sub?

...

...

Okay... so maybe that's just me. Moving right along... ::polishes the tarnish off her halo and refastens it to her devil horns:: Nothing to see here, folks.

(in reply to asubmissiveheart)

RE: "Subs/Slaves"- Spoiled and Otherwise - 6/16/2007 6:39:24 PM

sambamanslilgirl

Posts: 10926
Joined: 2/5/2007
From: Chicago, IL
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Daddy thought so too ...ok back to spending my allowance online again - should i get the black lace corset or the red one ...or why not both!

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...announcing Mr. & Mrs. British Petrol ...yeah, marrying into oil is slick business...

(in reply to littlekitten1)

RE: "Subs/Slaves"- Spoiled and Otherwise - 6/16/2007 6:56:10 PM

Posts: 4294
Joined: 3/2/2007
From: Little Rock, AR
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: sleazybutterfly
You can be thrifty and still have nice things, it's all about where you buy them

How true, sleazybutterfly. Master should post on this thread because He is constantly amazed at what I find and the low prices I pay. I have enough money to pay high prices but I have always felt that was wasteful. It makes me feel a sense of accomplishment to get what I want for the lowest available price. Clearance racks, thrift stores, etc. are my favorite places. I'm famous at work for being able to get beautiful clothes at rock bottom prices. I get complimented nearly everyday on some article of clothing or some jewelry, purse, or shoes. Nearly without fail, I can boast of how little I paid.
Some of Master's favorite things I wear have come from .....gasp.....yard sales

! He laughs all the time because He'll compliment me on something I'm wearing and I'm like "yard sale, 75 cents".....lol....It looks as good to me, Him, and others as if I'd paid full price somewhere off the rack. Also at work, I always get comments on how "put together" my outfits/accessories look yet I hardly ever buy anything together or at the same time/place. It's a talent, I think, to be able to buy things separately and then throw them all together well. I know lots of women who do it and are frugal in the process. I say spend what you want to or are allowed to and be happy. I'm just happier when I can get more for less

. For me it's more fun to have lots of inexpensive things than only one pricey one. Just the differences in people..........slave luci

_____________________________

To choose a good book, look in an inquisitor’s prohibited list. ~John Aikin

(in reply to sleazybutterfly)

RE: "Subs/Slaves"- Spoiled and Otherwise - 6/16/2007 7:24:26 PM

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Joined: 10/6/2005
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Like others on here I have been given an allowance that is to be used just for things I want. He put me on a clothing allowance and takes me to nice places to buy the clothes. He has been training me out of what he calls, "my Wal-Mart mentality" because that is what I have had for most of my life. It has taken me almost a year not to freak that shoes cost more than $15 and that I have dresses in my closet that cost more than my whole wardrobe used to. I actually own jewelry that doesn't turn my fingers and ears green after a few months. I love belonging to him and I love having him spoil me.

I have also taught Daddy that Wal-Mart ain't so bad for some stuff.

If the relationship is real and good, money issues should be the least of your concerns. I don't concern myself with money issues right now. My Daddy takes care of that stuff. He tells me when we need to watch it and he tells me when to start planning a vacation. I will say that if we had less than I would be fine. I don't go for material things more than the person. But damn material stuff is nice to have. Right?

_____________________________

“I, with a deeper instinct, choose a man who compels my strength, who makes enormous demands on me, who does not doubt my courage or my toughness, who does not believe me naive or innocent, who has the courage to treat me like a woman.” – Anais Nin

(in reply to slaveluci)

RE: "Subs/Slaves"- Spoiled and Otherwise - 6/16/2007 7:32:37 PM

sublimelysensual

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Joined: 7/25/2005
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I have to admit I'm a bit surprised here...I read the OP, then through the replies, then through the OP twice more, just to make sure of what I thought. It seems like every s-type who thinks of themselves as "spoiled" or "pampered" that's posted, has assumed the OP was directed at them, when my thought was that it was about s-types who constantly whine about other people's possessions and do the "gimme" thing. I honestly don't believe she was judging s-types that are spoiled as a whole. And materialism, while it can't make a relationship, can break one. No, I'm not saying that's what's going to happen to anyone in particular, just that it can happen. I could be wrong (wouldn't be the first time), I just totally took the OP in a different light and was surprised to smell the amount of estrogen in the air....

Off for vacation for a few days, so feel free to flame, just don't take my silence as assent -laughing-

-a

_____________________________

"To make oneself an object, to make oneself passive, is a very different thing from being a passive object." -Simone De Beauvoir -'The Second Sex'

(in reply to Littlepita)

RE: "Subs/Slaves"- Spoiled and Otherwise - 6/16/2007 7:53:56 PM

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Joined: 7/1/2005
From: United States
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: littlekitten1

And it's not only subs...

Seriously, I have a friend who is a trust fund baby, owns real estate, and has a sucessful practice. And quite a few Doms that she's met expect to live off of her money.

I find it offensive that this was addressed at submissives.

_____________________________

Give a girl the right shoes and she will conquer the world. ~ Marilyn Monroe

The Accelerated Velocity of Terminological Inexactitude

(in reply to littlekitten1)

RE: "Subs/Slaves"- Spoiled and Otherwise - 6/17/2007 3:55:42 AM

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Wait... Did I offend you? Or... Well now im confused x_x

(in reply to OsideGirl)

RE: "Subs/Slaves"- Spoiled and Otherwise - 6/17/2007 8:31:57 AM

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Joined: 5/13/2007
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Spoken like a true Buckeye.

Go Sister Val!!

(in reply to littlekitten1)

RE: "Subs/Slaves"- Spoiled and Otherwise - 6/18/2007 12:16:37 PM

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From: NYS
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Weird rant with a huge boatload of assumptions.

Why do you assume that every sub here doesn't work, has no money of their own, lives off a man? Because just like in the vanilla world, it isn't true. In today's world it takes two incomes to raise a family.

Why do you care where anybody else shops?

And why is it that the only person tossing out material brand names is the op boasting about what she owns? As I said, weird rant.

(in reply to KatieKat1202)

RE: "Subs/Slaves"- Spoiled and Otherwise - 6/18/2007 12:43:26 PM

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Joined: 9/24/2004
From: Connecticut
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Celeste43

Weird rant with a huge boatload of assumptions.

Why do you assume that every sub here doesn't work, has no money of their own, lives off a man? Because just like in the vanilla world, it isn't true. In today's world it takes two incomes to raise a family.

Why do you care where anybody else shops?

And why is it that the only person tossing out material brand names is the op boasting about what she owns? As I said, weird rant.

I do have to agree for similar reasons I thought the rant was strange. I don't have an allowance or a budget given to me by my owner. I do have a budget that I set for myself based off my bills and savings goals that he knows about and approves of - and as long as my bills are paid promptly he's fine with it. I make a good salary so I'm able to treat myself to things and I don't remotely live off my owner.

C~

_____________________________

"Just because you've always done it that way doesn't mean it's not incredibly stupid." -despair.com

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The heart of it all - http://www.wildfleurs.com
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(in reply to Celeste43)

RE: "Subs/Slaves"- Spoiled and Otherwise - 6/18/2007 1:05:39 PM

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I have a semi part time job (if you need me to explain that just ask). I also have a nice balance in my checking account plus i got to school. I don't live with my Master but i am sure if i needed money he would give it to me if it was a need. My wants i take care of myself. I don't have a lot of money(text books are expensive) so i spoil Master with food making his fav desserts's. He spoils me a lot and espically on my b day and holidays. There is nothing wrong with being spoiled as long as one is not a spoiled brat.

Matt's littleone

< Message edited by littleone35 -- 6/18/2007 1:30:42 PM >

(in reply to Wildfleurs)

RE: "Subs/Slaves"- Spoiled and Otherwise - 6/18/2007 6:10:54 PM

Posts: 746
Joined: 2/22/2005
From: Sydney Australia
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Celeste43

Weird rant with a huge boatload of assumptions.

Why do you assume that every sub here doesn't work, has no money of their own, lives off a man? Because just like in the vanilla world, it isn't true. In today's world it takes two incomes to raise a family.

Why do you care where anybody else shops?

And why is it that the only person tossing out material brand names is the op boasting about what she owns? As I said, weird rant.

I am not in paid employment but I do get a government pension to care for Master (He is on disability). We discussed this one day recently when I said that I don't work. He said "Of course you work. It is a 24/7 job taking care of Me!"

I spend my money how I like. However it isn't frittered away. Our income puts us well below the average wage, so we have to be careful. I buy groceries on special. I go to the butcher and fruit & veg shops they are cheaper than the supermarket. Clothing is bought on sale or eBay. I don't have the latest fashion or accessories, I don't need them. I have a credit card, but the balance is paid in full at the end of the month (no interest charges). Our bills are always paid on time. We are in subsidised housing, which helps a lot

I am not spoiled with material things, but I am spoilt with love (getting mushy here lol

)

(in reply to Celeste43)

RE: "Subs/Slaves"- Spoiled and Otherwise - 6/18/2007 7:07:09 PM

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Joined: 8/30/2006
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quote:

ORIGINAL: valkyriesdaughte

Even the most humble dwelling can be made into a home, a welcoming sanctuary for your Dom/me with a little effort and creativity on your part, for very little money. Try thrift stores, Dollar stores, garage sales, and clearance racks. Be patient- you may not find everything you want at once; and you may also find interesting touches you didn't think of. Be creative. A nice table cloth ( real cloth) and a couple of pretty towels will instantly brighten any kitchen, a matching bath and hand towel in the bathroom is a nice touch, everybody likes plants, real or fake, decorative candles; an afghan from the thrift store over the sofa is nice and homey.

First off, i understand this was a rant and not meant for me or anyone else personally but i still had to comment on this section.

You are speaking as a woman, a homemaker type and i can relate BUT....One of the toughest things that i've learned over the past year is that just because i find it homey doesn't mean that my Master/Daddy will approve, agree or appreciate me just going and doing all of that stuff....HE ALBSOLUTELY HATES plants of ANY KIND and made me take them down after i'd put them up....he has his reasons and i totally understand them but the point is...

Just because i want to do it for him and think it is nice and making his area a comfy cozy place doesn't mean that my idea of comfy and his will mesh....He has thankfully ALLOWED me to have some of the homier touches i like in alot of ways, but on his terms....He also made me take down the cutains i'd bought on a budget for our old place (i was there all the time and he was only there part time) He thought they looked cheap, and they were, they were from Walmart and he would prefer I get them at Linens and Things or something....FOR HIS TASTES not for MINE.....It drives me nuts because i am a Walmart/Target thrift shop kind of girl and i feel like i can get soooo much more for less but he disagrees...

So please while you are thinking of your rant think also that a woman's idea of cozy,homey, tasty etc are not necessarily the same as a man's and if you are trying to make something a great place FOR THEM then you have to keep THEM in mind ( i wrote an essay about this whole thing on my site www.mycollarspace.com/giving.htm )

_____________________________

For today i won't say but...
For today i wont say just...
For today i will simply obey....
For today i will trust that You are right...
For always i will be your imperfect slave

http://www.mycollarspace.com

(in reply to valkyriesdaughte)

RE: "Subs/Slaves"- Spoiled and Otherwise - 6/18/2007 8:30:27 PM

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Joined: 6/21/2006
From: Tallahassee, FL
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Mercnbeth

If you have 10 floggers costing $500/flogger made of elephant foreskin what does it represent?

I'm pretty frugal. So just put me down for two. ;)

(in reply to Mercnbeth)

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