quote:

ORIGINAL: Celeste43

Weird rant with a huge boatload of assumptions.

Why do you assume that every sub here doesn't work, has no money of their own, lives off a man? Because just like in the vanilla world, it isn't true. In today's world it takes two incomes to raise a family.

....................  and you assume it takes 2 incomes to raise a family.  We did it on one income, raised 2 ums, had a very nice home, took vacations and other trips together, always had 2 pretty good wroking vehicles, and sometimes 3.  Neither of our ums wore thrift store clothes.  We were not rich or even what most call "well to do", we were smart and did without the boat so we could take family trips.  We simply made smart choices about how we spent what money, I clipped cupons and shopped sales and specials, our kids did not have the newest trendiest shoes and flashy jeans, but they learned how to live without being pressured into all that crap.  So please do be carefulabout your assumptions too.
MsOpal


_____________________________

He held out His hand and said "Step into the abyss with me."

and I did.

(in reply to Celeste43)

quote:

ORIGINAL: AquaticSub

~Using Fast Reply~

The only people I've seen clamouring about the things that must be given to them are dominants, nor would I consider the blogs on dominant's profile an accurate gauge of the submissive/slave community.

If blogs are accurate gauges, then most dominants are fake, HNGs who have no more mastery then "On your knees and suck my cock bitch".

quote:

ORIGINAL: valkyriesdaughte

First of all - yes, this is a RANT!!!!!! But if you make it through to the end, you just might learn a thing or two. Although a relative newcomer to this world, I have 17 years of a vanilla marriage to my credit; and some things are universal.

It seems that many "subs/slaves" want to play one upmanship- "My Dom/me buys me this and this and this", or "How come Daddy doesn't get me all the toys I want". First and foremost- QUIT WHINING! "Stuff" is just that- stuff. No relationship that ever survived was built on stuff. Before worrying about what you don't have or want or what someone else has, consider all you do have: Are you fed, clothed, sheltered? Are provisions made for your health and safety? Those are basic needs, everything else can be worked around.

Now on to the "stuff"-  Wants and Needs are 2 very different things, maybe you would like new appliances/furniture/cars/clothes/etc, but do you need them? If what you have is adequately servicable, quit worrying about it.

Like it or not, your Dom/me has to deal with the vanilla world, and STUFF costs money- cold hard cash. There may be a whole host of reasons your Dom/me doesn't buy you the same presents your little sub friends get, or everything you think you deserve. None of which are any of your business, unless your Dom/me chooses to share them. It wouldn't hurt you to think a little on your own though- pick up a newspaer. The economy sucks. Your Dom/me may work in a field that is insecure, and may wish to save for a possible rainy day, they may have had to change careers/jobs, and are still recovering from the financial setback. They may be paying child or spousal support from a previous relationship, or paying off the debt left after a divorce, etc. Medical bills, previous debt, student loans. The list goes on. Or they may simply be frugal, and forego immediate gratification for a long term goal- home ownership, retirement saving, childrens education, etc. It doesn't really matter. To top it off- housing, food, utilities, and transportation all have to be provided for on a regular basis. You have what you have, make the most of it.

Look at yourself, and what you are doing to contribute to the relationship financially. Do you immediately spend your "allowance" on yourself, shop at the mall, and eat out frequently? Try downscaling. Even the most humble dwelling can be made into a home, a welcoming sanctuary for your Dom/me with a little effort and creativity on your part, for very little money. Try thrift stores, Dollar stores, garage sales, and clearance racks. Be patient- you may not find everything you want at once; and you may also find interesting touches you didn't think of. Be creative. A nice table cloth ( real cloth) and a couple of pretty towels will instantly brighten any kitchen, a matching bath and hand towel in the bathroom is a nice touch, everybody likes plants, real or fake, decorative candles; an afghan from the thrift store over the sofa is nice and homey. (I bought 4 new fake greenerys in planters- for $1.99 each off the clearance shelf in the back of Meijers last week, along with a nice collection of 3 candles, and a set of votive holders filled with those colored bead rocks from the aqauarium section- the whole collection was less than $12.00. Every pair of my dress slacks came from the thrift store for $2.99 apiece, the afghans were 5 bucks apiece from the thrift store, and I have the most perfect set of embroidered sheets- on clearance for less than $20.00. Years ago, I once made a baby dresser out of 2 cardboard boxes stacked, with a piece of cloth over the top and cut up the front. Functional, and better than using the plain boxes- we were REALLY poor at the time! Neccessity is the mother of invention, be creative).
 
You could also learn to make your Dom/me tasty, yet inexpensive meals. There are many things that take only minmal cooking skills to make, and are quite good. Love is a wonderful seasoning. If you can't boil water- ask around, most people are happy to share their recipes and tips, along with shopping hints. Make friends with the stay at home Mom with several children- they are the queens of grocery sale shopping and cheap cooking.

Instead of spending money on your manicures, and pedicures and such, buy the supplies at a discount store and do your own. Even kinky toys and clothes can be made or improvised with a little effort and very little, if any money.(The fabric/craft section at Walmart can be a treasure mine of useful things).
 
Bottom lime- ask your self what your Dom/me will see you as in 5, 10, 20 years- merely a pretty playting past their prime; or a loyal servant and partner, who has brought happiness to them? Put a bit of effort into making their life and home pleasant, instead of focusing on yourself, and the answer will be clear.