RE: why do MISTRESSES ask for tributes ?

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RE: why do MISTRESSES ask for tributes ? - 6/25/2007 2:45:03 AM

stop352

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i agree one doesnt have to payup and can click the next button....but thats the exercising of the choice of the sub/slave. I am talking of the why in the first placec.

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RE: why do MISTRESSES ask for tributes ? - 6/25/2007 2:47:00 AM

SweetDommes

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And it's been answered:

Because they can.
Because they are tired of being expected to support others' fantasies for free.
Because there are those out there who will pay it, so why not?
Because it's a way to weed out some of the posers.
And lastly, and my personal favorite of the moment *drum roll please*

To piss you off ...
is it working yet?

*edited to add another reason*

< Message edited by SweetDommes -- 6/25/2007 2:49:59 AM >

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RE: why do MISTRESSES ask for tributes ? - 6/25/2007 2:53:08 AM

stop352

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i agre..it does tend to **** u off a bit....but iam a dogged guy still at it ...takes more than this to frustrate me

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RE: why do MISTRESSES ask for tributes ? - 6/25/2007 2:55:01 AM

SweetDommes

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Then why are you bitching about it in your first month and before you've even hit 20 posts?

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RE: why do MISTRESSES ask for tributes ? - 6/25/2007 2:58:11 AM

stop352

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not really bitching ...why cant those who want financial tributes just move to a different group or something and best atleast mention it in their profile hen u dont waste tiem tying to contact them. Thanx to CM i can access unlimited members otherwise it would have been terrible.

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RE: why do MISTRESSES ask for tributes ? - 6/25/2007 2:58:28 AM

stella40

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quote:

ORIGINAL: stop352

i have been checking out a lot of the MISTRESSES here but all or most want finnacial tribute. That is something which will come on its own later . why at startup?

Maybe I am using a different version of the Collarme website or maybe I have severe learning difficulties or am functionally illiterate but I wouldn't say most want a financial tribute. And believe me, I have browsed a lot of profiles.

Why at start up?

Possible answers.

1. Many subs approach Dommes on Collarme the same way they approach items found on e-Bay or online shopping. They want a particular type of Domme with particular type of equipment to do particular type of activities on particular days at particular times for the particular experience of the submissive.

2. Many submissives aren't interested in Dommes as people, they are only interested in them as Dommes, there to engage in a scene involving specific activities for the sub's enjoyment. These submissives don't have a need or time for such basic things like respect, manners, friendship, conversation, companionship, etc - they just want to get their jollies and leave.

3. Some submissives have a mental block when it comes to understanding the basic 'give-take' principle of BDSM or D/s.

4. Many Dommes get tired of being a freebie domination service for these types of submissives and some are also tired of not getting anything out of scenes with submissives.

5. Submissives rarely offer their own place for meetings and not often come up with the equipment, but expect the Dommes to not only have all the necessary equipment but also wear the appropriate clothes. This equipment costs money. Why should the Domme have to pay for all the equipment?

6. Some Dommes figure, and quite rightly in my opinion, that if they're going to not get anything out of the meeting or relationship and they're going to be treated like a Pro-Domme then they might as well charge a fee or demand a tribute.

Does this make it any clearer?

For a submissive the way into BDSM is very simple - you either have something to offer (other than submission) which a Domme genuinely needs or you pay. Either way you give.

It's not exactly rocket science, or is it?

< Message edited by stella40 -- 6/25/2007 3:24:20 AM >

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RE: why do MISTRESSES ask for tributes ? - 6/25/2007 2:58:40 AM

SweetDommes

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As a bit of real advice - you are looking to serve online only due to location ... that pretty much rules out anything but financial servitude. What exactly do you plan to do for a Domme? Cam? That can be gotten at random in about 10 minutes or less if we aren't picky ... Phone? Again, can be gotten from just about anyone ... Pictures? Same deal.

You have pretty much nothing to offer (that I can see) except for money and a bad attitude. Work on finding something of value that you can actually offer to a Domme and you might have more luck.

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RE: why do MISTRESSES ask for tributes ? - 6/25/2007 3:00:46 AM

stop352

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i love what stella40 has written...its a nice idea....maybe i will copy it.

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RE: why do MISTRESSES ask for tributes ? - 6/25/2007 3:03:20 AM

SweetDommes

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quote:

ORIGINAL: stop352

not really bitching ...

I'm pretty sure that I'm not the only one you fooled ... sure looked like bitching to me.

As for taking the advice of Stella, all I have to say is - good luck with that, and I'm done with you if you are seriously going to take that and use it.

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RE: why do MISTRESSES ask for tributes ? - 6/25/2007 3:26:03 AM

MsCfromMelbourne

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Mistresses provide valuable services. Their time in real life retails for A$200 -300 per hour in my part of the world. Telephone domination starts at US$ 1 per minute.

The real question you should ask is why don't all Mistresses charge tributes?

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RE: why do MISTRESSES ask for tributes ? - 6/25/2007 3:26:13 AM

lovingsteel07

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I know that I am new here, and that my opinions may therefore not be held to be as respectable as some who have long histories here, but while looking through the forum posts and seeing this thread, I HAD to make a statement about it.

What does it matter if a Mistress asks for tribute ro not? A true submissive takes joy in service. And a good Mistress is worthy of tribute, whether it is requested of you or not. A good Mistress is worthy of all that you can give: respect, caring, devotion, and anything else that comes to mind. Too many people look to Mistresses as "playmates", or people who exist to serve THEIR needs. A lot of so-called submissives find it convenient to forget that Mistress is a title... there are people beneath that title who have their own drives, and their own needs.

While briefly exploring another online community, I noticed this same sort of thing... People who complained of this or that expectation that was made of them by a Dom or Domme. I suppose it is easy to forget that it is in their nature to expect respect and obedience. If you cannot give it, you don't need to be wasting your time or anyone else's. It is a PRIVILEGE, and an HONOR, to serve in any way you can. If you do not feel that way about a specific Mistress, than she probably isn't a good fit for you to begin with.

Anyhow, I apologize for rambling, and if my words offended anyone, I sincerely beg forgiveness.

PS: I noticed after I posted that this somehow got listed as a response to SweetDommes. For those who care, it's actually a response to stop... I screwed up somehow. ~chuckles~

< Message edited by lovingsteel07 -- 6/25/2007 3:32:49 AM >

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RE: why do MISTRESSES ask for tributes ? - 6/25/2007 3:32:59 AM

Mistressor

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My first post!!

Stella, you have a brilliantly funny mind (I hope stop understands the words "irony" and "humour"

).

Personally, I spend a lot of time with and on My chosen ones. It doesn't leave a whole lot of time for work. They want My time, they pay their way. Other than that, we can have playtime in the park, under the bench I'd be sleeping on.
Most slaves/subs have one Domina, a Domina will most probably have MANY slaves. Work it out.

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RE: why do MISTRESSES ask for tributes ? - 6/25/2007 3:39:34 AM

SweetDommes

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LOL, any time you use the fast reply, it shows you as replying to whomever the last person to post on that page before you. So if you reply to the first page, and I'm the last person to reply on that page (which I think is what happened) it shows that you were replying to me, even if you didn't mean it towards me.

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RE: why do MISTRESSES ask for tributes ? - 6/25/2007 3:44:16 AM

lovingsteel07

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Thank you for clarifying for me, SweetDommes. I am still very new here, and actually new to online forum posting as well, so it may take me a little bit to learn the ropes. By the by, is there a specific method of address that you prefer? I know that some do not like the familiarity of being addressed by name, and I do not wish to offend. ~smiles~

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RE: why do MISTRESSES ask for tributes ? - 6/25/2007 3:44:37 AM

PsyVamp

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Welcome to the boards Mistressor.

Unfortunately, the more time you spend on collarme, the more you will find that Stella's comments are not necessarily tongue in cheek. I cannot tell you how many "subs/switches/whatever" ask me to dom them on-line or by phone, or just want to play. Yeah, sure... I'll get right on that- and what is in it for me? At the end of every day, there is still housework and stuff that doesn't get done because I'd be too busy being a dominant slave to all those "players".
So... I can very well understand the Dommes here asking for tribute to do that kind of thing. If they are busy spending hours on the 'net feeding the players fantasies, they need to pay someone to do the other work..
Me? I just refuse any on line or ld "training" and do r/t only.

*** just my two cents, your mileage may vary ***

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RE: why do MISTRESSES ask for tributes ? - 6/25/2007 3:46:44 AM

SweetDommes

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steel - you're pretty much always safe to use a person's screen name until/unless told otherwise.

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RE: why do MISTRESSES ask for tributes ? - 6/25/2007 3:46:48 AM

MissJana

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You summed it up perfectly Stella.

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RE: why do MISTRESSES ask for tributes ? - 6/25/2007 3:48:27 AM

lovingsteel07

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Please excuse my ignorance, Psyvamp, but what do ld and r/t stand for? I'm still not familiar with a lot of the terminology that those more experienced take for granted.

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RE: why do MISTRESSES ask for tributes ? - 6/25/2007 3:57:50 AM

lovingsteel07

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First off, thank you, SweetDommes. I appreciate that clarification. Secondly, I really am confused as to why this issue even exists; isn't the consideration of a Mistress' desires and needs before your own part of what being submissive means? At least, I've always felt that it is a man's place to please and to serve women, even before I could put a name to those instincts. Are the kinds of people being discussed in this thread common, or rare abberations? I am just curious.

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RE: why do MISTRESSES ask for tributes ? - 6/25/2007 4:19:21 AM

MissIsis

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For all the reasons previously stated. Also, many (I won't even call them submissives), who contact us don't bother to read through profiles.

Personally, I hate being contacted by a so called submissive who says explicitly what they will do to me. I don't care that you want to dress like a woman for me. I may not want you to spend hours licking my toes. I may not always want you to always be chained to my bed post, & on & on & on......

If you are to serve me, I expect it to be on my terms. Telling me you will do specific things really just tells me you expect me to give you, your fantasies, & desires rather than my own.

Generally, I try to respond with a polite no thanks, but asking for tribute seems like a small price for someone to pay when they write to me with a list of their desires that they will provide for me.

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