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ORIGINAL: MsStryker  I know we are allowed to ask for a drink, to demand a rub or *gasp* to say no. Everyone must remember sometimes we get carried away and we are so intent on taking care of our submissive, that we forget to, at times, take care of ourselves. It is supposed to be a 2 way street! When we have carried our weight and that of everyone else we have played with for long enough we have the option of deciding what makes it feel fair for us. Sometimes its gifts, could be help with chores, or sometimes cash so we can pay for a professional massage or ohh have enough to get that new corset yumm or those boots mmm. I would also like to have things offered,  I do not like asking for things from people unless its a part of a scene. I am proud and strong, I can take care of myself! I do not need you or your gifts or your money! I want the respect that is due to a Person who has spent years enjoying learning the ropes, honing Her craft. Let alone wanting the respect due me for just being alive and kicking in the world, going at it every day like everyone else, and heaven forbid that I might expect respect for simply being a Dominant Woman!!

I want generous souls near me as I am a generous soul. I give without thinking am a good friend and I offer alot to those near me.. But to those subbies who say they are there to be in service.. think about what kind of service you can actually be! I play with people I trust and like in exchange for mutual fun and caring of each other.
I decided to take a break from the pro work shortly after I was effectively called a whore from a boy who didnt want to pay for online Domination, (but it was ethically ok to be adulterously involved with a slut for free??!! good grief!) I set my boundaries and offered: my friendship, conversation, to answer questions, to be a real person.. but he wanted me to "just" hold his key and thinking that was no big deal, to me it is! I explained my feelings on keyholding, what I felt it demanded. He kept pushing at my boundaries and asking what I wanted him to do and how long I thought he should wear his device and did I want to see it etc. I was firm and reminded him that if he wanted that from me I would require a tribute as that was work to me, others pay for play, for my time. I even offered that perhaps he could send me a gift and keep it on a more friendly thing than just a professional basis since we were saying we were friends. He had continued to say he wanted my friendship and was not looking to ask anything of me I did not want to give. So heres where the messing with a Doms heart goes into play, do you understand yet or are you hard hearted and callus?! Taking on the responsibility of someones sexuality and their health is an important thing if you have respect for the process..

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ORIGINAL: khem

My previous reply was in response to this quote from Stella40 dated 6-25-07. Thank you.

LadieSofia

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ORIGINAL: stella40

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ORIGINAL: stop352

i have been checking out a lot of the MISTRESSES here but all or most want finnacial tribute. That is something which will come on its own later . why at startup?

Maybe I am using a different version of the Collarme website or maybe I have severe learning difficulties or am functionally illiterate but I wouldn't say most want a financial tribute. And believe me, I have browsed a lot of profiles.

Why at start up?

Possible answers.

1. Many subs approach Dommes on Collarme the same way they approach items found on e-Bay or online shopping. They want a particular type of Domme with particular type of equipment to do particular type of activities on particular days at particular times for the particular experience of the submissive.

2. Many submissives aren't interested in Dommes as people, they are only interested in them as Dommes, there to engage in a scene involving specific activities for the sub's enjoyment. These submissives don't have a need or time for such basic things like respect, manners, friendship, conversation, companionship, etc - they just want to get their jollies and leave.

3. Some submissives have a mental block when it comes to understanding the basic 'give-take' principle of BDSM or D/s.

4. Many Dommes get tired of being a freebie domination service for these types of submissives and some are also tired of not getting anything out of scenes with submissives.

5. Submissives rarely offer their own place for meetings and not often come up with the equipment, but expect the Dommes to not only have all the necessary equipment but also wear the appropriate clothes. This equipment costs money. Why should the Domme have to pay for all the equipment?

6. Some Dommes figure, and quite rightly in my opinion, that if they're going to not get anything out of the meeting or relationship and they're going to be treated like a Pro-Domme then they might as well charge a fee or demand a tribute.

Does this make it any clearer?

For a submissive the way into BDSM is very simple - you either have something to offer (other than submission) which a Domme genuinely needs or you pay. Either way you give.

It's not exactly rocket science, or is it?

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ORIGINAL: ObedientYYC

When I run into a profile that demands monetary tribute, I just click the big "hide" button.  Clearly they aren't serious about wanting a genuine relationship of the type I am seeking.  This is my way of separating the wheat from the chaff. ;)

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ORIGINAL: MstrssScarlet

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ORIGINAL: khem

roflmao...My feelings exactly!!!!
Mistress Scarlet

Uh Huh!

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ORIGINAL: Leatherist

Fast reply.
 
From what I have seen,they do it for two reasons.
 
1. To get some use out of a vast collection of otherwise useless men.
 
2. To chase away those who cannot even be that useful.