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RE: public leash - 7/1/2007 12:37:06 PM   
BOUNTYHUNTER


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Status: offline 		Well lets not get personal dawgggg....

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RE: public leash - 7/1/2007 12:42:19 PM   
AquaticSub


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quote:

ORIGINAL: dougieboy

No.  A precise analogy would be my mother seeing a complete stranger doing that in a mall.  She might get a good chuckle out of it or find it distasteful, but i can say with certainty she wouldn't be the least bit harmed or lose a minute of sleep over it.




No.. not really. Why wouldn't you do it in front of your own mother when you will do it front of others? Is it a sexual thrill and you don't want to involve your mother in that? Well, if it's sexual you shouldn't be forcing others to be part of your sex acts without their permission. You worry about your mother losing respect for you? Well, if what you are doing is so wrong, why should you subject others to seeing it?

Hell, we can even change it... if you wouldn't do this in front of your own neice or nephew, why would you do it in front of children you aren't attached to? If it's acceptable behavior in front of strangers, it should be acceptable behavior in front of the family members who love you.

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RE: public leash - 7/1/2007 12:45:01 PM   
BOUNTYHUNTER


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RE: public leash - 7/1/2007 12:45:20 PM   
AAkasha


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quote:

ORIGINAL: dougieboy

^^^^^

exactly what ive been trying to say, only he said it better.  noone is getting "harmed" as some have ridiculously stated.  there is a point where that line would be crossed, but that point is far beyond wearing a leash in public, and also, not by coincidence, where laws would start to be broken.

edit:  and as for the harming yourself by doing it.  by running into your boss or what have you, that's  an entirely different thing.  but assuming everyone on here is an adult that's their decision to make.




I don't care what anyone else chooses to do in public and whether or not they make a conscious decision to look and behave like an idiot.  You also can feel free to fart and pick your nose at a 4 star restaurant and say other people having a problem with it can stuff it - it's their problem, not yours.

However, when I see people make a choice between:

* Getting their jollies
* Behaving with class

and they go with #1 just to get their rocks off, I make a conscious decision not to associate with them.  Taking someone around on a leash is incredibly erotic and sexy; I do it all the time. However, crossing the line and *needing* other people to witness it in order to feel good is crossing a line that I find classless. 

I personally do not get offended when I see all sorts of things in public, nor do I care if my young relatives witness these acts.  When ask to explain it, I would simply say what I felt, "Those people are behaving like idiots."

Akasha


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RE: public leash - 7/1/2007 1:09:35 PM   
dougieboy


Posts: 19
Joined: 11/20/2006
Status: offline 		"why wouldn't you do it in front of your own mother when you would do it in front of others?"

Sometimes an argument seems so obvious that I feel silly even having to explain it but I'll be a sport. There are dozens of things I would do in front of strangers that I wouldn't do in front of my own mother.  I have stood on a sidewalk making out with a lover before, with many strangers walking by, and I assure you, if my mother had walked by I would have stopped immediately.  Same goes with anything kinky I would do in public. Wouldn't want mom to see it, don't really care if a total stranger sees it.  And once again, it wouldn't really bother me if my mother saw a total stranger doing it.  Shes all grown up now, and even owns a TV so she sees things like that all the time.  





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RE: public leash - 7/1/2007 1:14:49 PM   
AquaticSub


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quote:

ORIGINAL: dougieboy

"why wouldn't you do it in front of your own mother when you would do it in front of others?"

Sometimes an argument seems so obvious that I feel silly even having to explain it but I'll be a sport. There are dozens of things I would do in front of strangers that I wouldn't do in front of my own mother.  I have stood on a sidewalk making out with a lover before, with many strangers walking by, and I assure you, if my mother had walked by I would have stopped immediately.  Same goes with anything kinky I would do in public. Wouldn't want mom to see it, don't really care if a total stranger sees it.  And once again, it wouldn't really bother me if my mother saw a total stranger doing it.  Shes all grown up now, and even owns a TV so she sees things like that all the time.  



So you don't care about strangers, be they adults or children and are simply discourteous. You only care about those who directly affect you. Which is fine, I suppose, but one should realize it about themselves.

< Message edited by AquaticSub -- 7/1/2007 1:15:51 PM >

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

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Profile   Post #: 66
RE: public leash - 7/1/2007 1:26:11 PM   
dougieboy


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Status: offline 		Ah, putting words in my mouth -- a sure sign of a strong argument.  As i've mentioned probably 10 times in this thread, i don't think any of the behavior in question is really going to be harmful to anyone, so i don't consider it discourteous. 

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RE: public leash - 7/1/2007 1:32:47 PM   
RCdc


Posts: 8674
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Seeing someone in those attrocious smock type tops that are all the 'fashion' right now makes me wonder WTF?
Seeing someone wander down the street wearing a collar and leash doesn't.  I don't automatically assume they are 'getting their rocks off'... I just see it as a personal choice.
 
I remember walking to a fetish event in London with Darcy last year.  He led me on a leash.  We walked through London at about 10 at night, past a bar with people watching.  So what?  Does that mean I am disrespectful of other peoples feelings? I am not responsible for anyone else and how they feel - I merely am the spark to their thought maybe.  But then, people will have a curry and sit on a train next to a stranger and no worry that they may be pregnant and feeling sick because their body odour reeks and their breath is exuding a fragrance that doesn't exactly cause a Lynx Moment.
 
Double standards.
Peace
the.dark.

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RE: public leash - 7/1/2007 1:33:02 PM   
AquaticSub


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quote:

ORIGINAL: dougieboy

Ah, putting words in my mouth -- a sure sign of a strong argument.  As i've mentioned probably 10 times in this thread, i don't think any of the behavior in question is really going to be harmful to anyone, so i don't consider it discourteous. 


No I'm not.

You have stated over and over that you don't care what strangers think about what you do in public yet you do care about your mother sees you doing the same things. So then, if you don't care about what they think and aren't courteous about what you do and don't do in public, what do you call that other then discourteous?

Personally, I try to be courteous. I try my best to not use vuglar language in front of children, I don't do a lot of heavy, if any, PDA in the middle of the mall, and I don't go beyond wrist cuffs and a collar in front of people because I respect their possible desire to not be exposed to it and I respect their possible desire to not have their children exposed to this. There are plenty of events that are full of only 18 or 21+ plus who not only consenting but eager. Why not save your thrills for there and simply be considerate of those around you?

Edited for typos and it having sent too soon

< Message edited by AquaticSub -- 7/1/2007 1:37:58 PM >

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to dougieboy)
Profile   Post #: 69
RE: public leash - 7/1/2007 1:41:28 PM   
RCdc


Posts: 8674
Status: offline 		I wouldn't call that discourteous Aqua - he isn't dropping a door on someone or barging past and knocking someone over.  He is simply not worrying about public opinion... and being true to his own conviction.  Life isn't just about doing what make other people happy and being polite to everyone - you can't consider everyone all the time and live your own life to it's fullest.  Wearing a leash in public isn't comparable to say - walking down the street naked.  Its simply a form of expression for some people.
 
Peace
the.dark.

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RE: public leash - 7/1/2007 1:42:07 PM   
dougieboy


Posts: 19
Joined: 11/20/2006
Status: offline 		I'll say it one last time...slowly:

I don't think anyone is being harmed.  If I knowingly did think people were being harmed, then I would consider that discourteous.

If the only people being offended are self righteous grandmas looking for someone to scold, then no I don't really care at all.

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RE: public leash - 7/1/2007 1:43:36 PM   
AquaticSub


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quote:

ORIGINAL: dougieboy

I'll say it one last time...slowly:

I don't think anyone is being harmed.  If I knowingly did think people were being harmed, then I would consider that discourteous.

If the only people being offended are self righteous grandmas looking for someone to scold, then no I don't really care at all.



Being harmed actually has nothing to do with courtesy. If being polite and courteous only extended to not harming people there would a lot more rude behavior. Harming people makes you an asshole, or possibly worse. Being discourteous is merely rude.

< Message edited by AquaticSub -- 7/1/2007 1:44:42 PM >

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to dougieboy)
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RE: public leash - 7/1/2007 1:47:45 PM   
AquaticSub


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quote:

ORIGINAL: Darcyandthedark

I wouldn't call that discourteous Aqua - he isn't dropping a door on someone or barging past and knocking someone over.  He is simply not worrying about public opinion... and being true to his own conviction.  Life isn't just about doing what make other people happy and being polite to everyone - you can't consider everyone all the time and live your own life to it's fullest.  Wearing a leash in public isn't comparable to say - walking down the street naked.  Its simply a form of expression for some people.
 
Peace
the.dark.

 
I disagree. I don't think rude behavior consists solely of knocking people over. Simply because you don't care about what other people think of your behavior doesn't make it polite. That is the only point I'm trying to make and that it would be polite and courteous to consider the feelings of the public.
 
If you want to wear a leash in public, go for it. I must admit the idea tempts me. But handle it gracefully if you are asked to leave or if it gets around and you suffer a negative fallout from it.

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to RCdc)
Profile   Post #: 73
RE: public leash - 7/1/2007 1:52:37 PM   
RCdc


Posts: 8674
Status: offline 		Maybe its just semantics Aqua - I just don't define courteousness in the same way as I view rudeness.  Ones an act, ones a state of mind for me.  I just don't think that anyone should feel unable to do something to themselves, whether its wear a leash, or facial piercings or tattooes, or even a short skirt or renaisance clothing just because it might scare someone, or upset someone else walking down the street.  Of course there are acts considered indecent - but I wouldnt personally consider wearing a leash, or a collar in public, one of them.
 
Peace
the.dark.

< Message edited by Darcyandthedark -- 7/1/2007 1:53:09 PM >

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RE: public leash - 7/1/2007 1:55:25 PM   
dougieboy


Posts: 19
Joined: 11/20/2006
Status: offline 		well, if you're going to get into semantic nitpicking...

my main qualm was with the people crying "save the children!" thinking the mere sight of a man on a leash was going to corrupt souls and ruin young lives.  it was just surprising to see such self righteous scolding on a site like this.

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RE: public leash - 7/1/2007 1:58:07 PM   
RCdc


Posts: 8674
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quote:

ORIGINAL: dougieboy

well, if you're going to get into semantic nitpicking...

my main qualm was with the people crying "save the children!" thinking the mere sight of a man on a leash was going to corrupt souls and ruin young lives.  it was just surprising to see such self righteous scolding on a site like this.



My son keep asking to buy a collar - not because of BDSM but because its a fashion icon as far as he is concerned.  So it just makes me smile when I see the whole 'save the children' proclaimation...
 
Peace
the.dark.

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RE: public leash - 7/1/2007 1:59:04 PM   
nyrisa


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quote:

ORIGINAL: Darcyandthedark

I remember walking to a fetish event in London with Darcy last year.  He led me on a leash.  We walked through London at about 10 at night, past a bar with people watching. 



That is my point exactly. That would be an appropriate time and place, in a time and area where one would expect to be among adults. What I have a problem with, is at the shopping mall, a place and time where children can be expected to be about. There are some places that are adult oriented, and some places that are oriented towards the general public, most of whom do not want to see this.



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RE: public leash - 7/1/2007 1:59:22 PM   
AquaticSub


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quote:

ORIGINAL: Darcyandthedark

Maybe its just semantics Aqua - I just don't define courteousness in the same way as I view rudeness.  Ones an act, ones a state of mind for me.  I just don't think that anyone should feel unable to do something to themselves, whether its wear a leash, or facial piercings or tattooes, or even a short skirt or renaisance clothing just because it might scare someone, or upset someone else walking down the street.  Of course there are acts considered indecent - but I wouldnt personally consider wearing a leash, or a collar in public, one of them.
 
Peace
the.dark.


Neither do I. However, the defination of the word courteous revolves around being considerate to others. It has nothing to do with not harming anyone. I would consider it courteous for a person to be considerate of those who think differently from them and not wear a leash in public, which is why I don't do it unless I am attending an event where I don't think it would be commented on. I have been leashed at BDSM events and my college's con, where collars, cuffs, corsets and henti are the norm and there are very few, if any, podlings running about. Naturally, they aren't allowed in the henti room!

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to RCdc)
Profile   Post #: 78
RE: public leash - 7/1/2007 2:02:17 PM   
AquaticSub


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quote:

ORIGINAL: dougieboy

well, if you're going to get into semantic nitpicking...

my main qualm was with the people crying "save the children!" thinking the mere sight of a man on a leash was going to corrupt souls and ruin young lives.  it was just surprising to see such self righteous scolding on a site like this.



I don't think that. And I didn't see that happening. What I saw happening was "You might want to rethink this because A) it would be courteous to remember that some parents don't want their children to see it and B) someone who knows you or knows someone you know might see it".

Both are valid points and should be considered. If they decide to go for it anyway, that is their business. If they handle it well, probably nothing will happen and maybe a kid will ask politely why the person is leashed and they can smile and answer "Because we think it's fun". No harm, no foul. But that doesn't mean you shouldn't consider those points before deciding to do this.

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to dougieboy)
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RE: public leash - 7/1/2007 2:52:47 PM   
RCdc


Posts: 8674
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quote:

ORIGINAL: nyrisa


quote:

ORIGINAL: Darcyandthedark

I remember walking to a fetish event in London with Darcy last year.  He led me on a leash.  We walked through London at about 10 at night, past a bar with people watching. 



That is my point exactly. That would be an appropriate time and place, in a time and area where one would expect to be among adults. What I have a problem with, is at the shopping mall, a place and time where children can be expected to be about. There are some places that are adult oriented, and some places that are oriented towards the general public, most of whom do not want to see this.




This is going to sound harsh I know buuuuuut....
 
Other peoples children aren't my responsibility - if their parents want them to grow up sheltered and to be condecending of peoples personal choices, then thats their responsibility.  If my child is out and sees a woman dressed in a burkah, or two men holding hands and it bothers them or they see it as different, they know they can ask me about it.  And I tell them.  I can think of far more bothersome images my children can view walking around a mall, in magazines and on TV, than someone walking around in a collar and leash.  I am NOT going to let another persons morality infect my morality.  If they choose to let my morality infect theirs - again, their problem and how they deal with it hey.
 
Peace
the.dark.

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