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RE: It broke off in his butt - 7/4/2007 7:54:53 AM

Posts: 2012
Joined: 5/14/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: DianeB269

Keep the jokes coming cuz, I'm gonna make him read this thread later.

Diane

as he is reading this, walk into the room, with the broken strap on, and a tube of super glue, mumbling something like "i wonder if they have enough jokes for a chapter 2?"

_____________________________

it aint no good til it hurts just a little bit....jimmy somerville

in those moments of solitude, does everyone sometimes think they are insane? or is it just me?

(in reply to DianeB269)

RE: It broke off in his butt - 7/4/2007 7:56:11 AM

Posts: 1596
Joined: 10/30/2006
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I have a feeling this will never end. lol

Diane

(in reply to SeeksOnlyOne)

RE: It broke off in his butt - 7/4/2007 7:56:20 AM

Posts: 2012
Joined: 5/14/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyEllen

The other evening, strap on tied
I took my subby for a ride
But soon we heard this eery snap
That sent him into quite a flap
"Its broken off!" he moaned and cried
And sure enough it was inside
I could have laughed, but that were cruel
Instead I searched round for a tool
To extricate it, get it out
But all his running had no doubt
Loosened it, and out it popped
Straight onto the floor it flopped
The lesson here is check your toys
Before you use them on your boys

E

_____________________________

it aint no good til it hurts just a little bit....jimmy somerville

in those moments of solitude, does everyone sometimes think they are insane? or is it just me?

(in reply to LadyEllen)

RE: It broke off in his butt - 7/4/2007 8:07:09 AM

Posts: 10931
Joined: 6/30/2006
From: Stourport-England
Status: offline

Would this count as rectile dysfunction?

E

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In a test against the leading brand, 9 out of 10 participants couldnt tell the difference. Dumbasses.

(in reply to SeeksOnlyOne)

RE: It broke off in his butt - 7/4/2007 8:13:58 AM

Posts: 2694
Joined: 2/4/2007
Status: offline

BrokeBack Mountain The Sequel

A Definite Dildon't

Strapon/Strapoff

I'm Sorry, It Was An Assident

Lost, The Season Premiere, Dark Cavern

Hey Asshole, Give It Back

chia* (the pet)

_____________________________

Love is a many splendid sting.

You can stick me in the corner, but I'll probably just end up coloring on the walls.

(in reply to DianeB269)

RE: It broke off in his butt - 7/4/2007 8:27:31 AM

Posts: 10931
Joined: 6/30/2006
From: Stourport-England
Status: offline

You know how women are always asking "does my butt look big in this?"

Well, at least he can now sympathise. Albeit he'll have to ask "does this look big in my butt?"

E

_____________________________

In a test against the leading brand, 9 out of 10 participants couldnt tell the difference. Dumbasses.

(in reply to chiaThePet)

RE: It broke off in his butt - 7/4/2007 8:32:51 AM

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Joined: 5/7/2007
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I guess them's the breaks eh?

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(in reply to LadyEllen)

RE: It broke off in his butt - 7/4/2007 8:33:13 AM

Posts: 10931
Joined: 6/30/2006
From: Stourport-England
Status: offline

This poor guy has taken a lot of stick.

I wouldnt be surprised if he gets annoyed and forms a splinter group, although whether he can get off his ass to do anything right now is in doubt.

E

_____________________________

In a test against the leading brand, 9 out of 10 participants couldnt tell the difference. Dumbasses.

(in reply to LadyEllen)

RE: It broke off in his butt - 7/4/2007 8:42:58 AM

Posts: 10931
Joined: 6/30/2006
From: Stourport-England
Status: offline

I want to know how it just fell out?

I mean, Lemmiwinks and Paris Hilton never just fell out of Mr Slave..... is there nothing of educational value on TV these days?

E

_____________________________

In a test against the leading brand, 9 out of 10 participants couldnt tell the difference. Dumbasses.

(in reply to LadyEllen)

RE: It broke off in his butt - 7/4/2007 8:49:05 AM

Posts: 10931
Joined: 6/30/2006
From: Stourport-England
Status: offline

Mind you, youre really lucky to have him you know?

Most guys I know are a lot more anally retentive than that.

E

_____________________________

In a test against the leading brand, 9 out of 10 participants couldnt tell the difference. Dumbasses.

(in reply to LadyEllen)

RE: It broke off in his butt - 7/4/2007 8:50:55 AM

Posts: 10931
Joined: 6/30/2006
From: Stourport-England
Status: offline

Hey - am I on my own here?

You should all know by now, you only get out what you put in.

E

_____________________________

In a test against the leading brand, 9 out of 10 participants couldnt tell the difference. Dumbasses.

(in reply to LadyEllen)

RE: It broke off in his butt - 7/4/2007 8:54:47 AM

Posts: 2444
Joined: 1/1/2004
From: West Palm Beach, FL
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I recounted a story similar to this on darkChylde's Oops thread a couple days ago:

quote:

ORIGINAL: MstrssPassion

I got a good one but oops wasn't the exact words used... it was more like, "well, that has never happened before"

We were having a rather intimate scene that included anal play with a couple of eggs. When I removed the eggs, one came out fine & the other came out with no egg on the end of the wire... that is when I said "well, that has never happened before". She was immediately alarmed & inquired as to what is not suppose to happen? I showed her the wire without the egg. She began to panic & I told her.... calm down, it will be ok & directed her to the bathroom & told her to sit on the toilet. She was still very alarmed so I told her it was VERY important that she follow my instructions so we could remove it.

I told her first she needed to tuck her thumbs into her armpits... then begin to move her elbows up & down.... then lastly, cluck like a chicken.

LOL

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MstrssPassion

(in reply to LadyEllen)

RE: It broke off in his butt - 7/4/2007 8:59:05 AM

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Joined: 9/8/2005
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He dips His lid to all;

Ah, I could tell you all a similar story but a tampon is not the same however the solution is similar.........

1. Settle Petal!
2. 'There is only one possible exit'
3. 'Lay up into the stirrup position'
4. 'Breathe slowly and deeply'
5. 'Settle Petal, I said SETTLE!' (Ignore looking for the chook head)
6. 'Bear down and PUSH!' (Whisper gently and wipe forehead with facetowel)
7. ' When will we hold the Christening Party?'

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Dance as though nobody is watching!

(in reply to DianeB269)

RE: It broke off in his butt - 7/4/2007 9:05:24 AM

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Joined: 9/28/2005
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Similar story here, although it was a ginger root....and it DID all come out in the end....

(in reply to Driver1961)

RE: It broke off in his butt - 7/4/2007 9:06:56 AM

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Joined: 5/6/2007
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oh thanks SO much DianaB, I just spewed water all over my screen....sigh...lol

And Ellen you need to quit....lol

The guys at work should be scared now ....I"m always threatening to break my foot off in their ass.....this is close...lol

I hope your sub is doing well...all jokes aside that had to be traumatic

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...Look into my eyes and I'll own you....

(in reply to DianeB269)

RE: It broke off in his butt - 7/4/2007 9:19:36 AM

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Joined: 12/31/2006
Status: offline

That is the perfect title for this thread. I was writing an email to sub that I had a date with last night, and saw that flash by, I was like wtf? and finally got to the message boards, barely managed to curb my curiousity so I could savor the moment, and was not disapointed!! heheheheheehe. What are some of the other strap-on stories? I have used one once, but he liked it alittle to much. shoulda got a much bigger one. **evil laugh**

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RE: It broke off in his butt - 7/4/2007 9:20:35 AM

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Joined: 1/1/2004
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Dear DianeB269, Ladies and Gentlemen;

I agree in always checking out your equipment. Anything man-made has to be weaker than what is created by nature.

That is why I check out men--make sure their phallus won't break off--[Chuckles] ---Aren't we ladies and gentlemen glad the human phallus doesn't 'break off' --LOL

Respectfully submitted with a lot of humor,
Lady Hugs

(in reply to DianeB269)

RE: It broke off in his butt - 7/4/2007 9:24:25 AM

Posts: 10931
Joined: 6/30/2006
From: Stourport-England
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: DrkJourney

And Ellen you need to quit....lol

What? You think I'm pushing it a bit too much now? Time to break off you mean?

E

_____________________________

In a test against the leading brand, 9 out of 10 participants couldnt tell the difference. Dumbasses.

(in reply to DrkJourney)

RE: It broke off in his butt - 7/4/2007 9:27:12 AM

Posts: 10931
Joined: 6/30/2006
From: Stourport-England
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyHugs

---Aren't we ladies and gentlemen glad the human phallus doesn't 'break off' --LOL

Respectfully submitted with a lot of humor,
Lady Hugs

well, that depends who youre asking........ personally speaking, it sounds like it might be a good thing.

E

_____________________________

In a test against the leading brand, 9 out of 10 participants couldnt tell the difference. Dumbasses.

(in reply to LadyHugs)

RE: It broke off in his butt - 7/4/2007 10:10:39 AM

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Joined: 1/15/2005
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No doubt the fear made him clench his buttcheeks tighter which kept it from moving outwards and so he became yet more afraid and...

This almost sounds like childbirth, "Just relax and push out on the breaths, now hold my hand tight!"

Think I need coffee because my brain cannot decide whether this mental image is absurdly funny or wickedly bizarre.

(Wanders down to the kitchen for some instant buzz)

_____________________________

"Beware, the woods at night, beware the lunar light.
So in this gray haze we'll be meating again, and on that
great day, I will tease you all the same."
"WOLF MOON", OCTOBER RUST, TYPE O NEGATIVE

http://KinkMeet.co.uk

(in reply to DianeB269)

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