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RE: Stood up on first meeting - 9/2/2007 6:17:07 PM   
angelsub642


Posts: 57
Joined: 7/7/2007
Status: offline
i give people that i'm meeting, whether it be my own friends or total stangers, a total of 30 min then i leave.If it's my friends, i will call 20 min after waiting and see if they are still coming. So now i would not have even waited past 30 min. i do know of some people that will only wait until 10 min. i'm just generous i guess . Now on the other hand, if he would have called and said "i'm running late but should be there in X amount of time", than i'll wait for that time, then i'm gone.
   His loss not yours. Don't beat yourself up over it, we've all gone through it one time or another.

(in reply to mmb1)
Profile   Post #: 41
RE: Stood up on first meeting - 9/2/2007 6:18:00 PM   
MstrSkyWoIf


Posts: 238
Joined: 10/26/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: mmb1

I am not giving up on me, I am just not ready to even fathom thinking that i would do this again!  I couldn't do it............because some crazy part of me still believes in him, but I know for me the best thing to do is let the situation go.  And no, I don't want another.  I will read message boards etc, but no, not after this, I will not allow anyone to hurt me like that again.  And maybe it happens to many several times, but me, only once, that is what I promised myself. But thanks for the help.


You are not alone in this many have come before you... as some have said brush yourself off get your head together and keep looking. Take the lesson learned and look at it as just that a lesson..

_____________________________

this is just my opinion, I do not claim to be an expert on life. I am just Me, Love me or Hate me I really don't care. I am the culmination of my life's experiences. I am an ever changing block of clay molded by life's experiences on a daily basis.

(in reply to mmb1)
Profile   Post #: 42
RE: Stood up on first meeting - 9/2/2007 6:20:44 PM   
MstrSkyWoIf


Posts: 238
Joined: 10/26/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: mmb1

I thought for a while that maybe he saw me and then didn't get out of the car etc....why i don't know......I know he is not married, I know he does all good for me, but I don't understand why he would just leave me there after this was planned for so long.  I mean I am not beautiful, but attractive, i really do not get why he backed out.


You may never know why he did not show up. The thing to remember here is it is his loss not yours better to find out early he is undependable rather then later.

< Message edited by MstrSkyWoIf -- 9/2/2007 6:22:00 PM >


_____________________________

this is just my opinion, I do not claim to be an expert on life. I am just Me, Love me or Hate me I really don't care. I am the culmination of my life's experiences. I am an ever changing block of clay molded by life's experiences on a daily basis.

(in reply to mmb1)
Profile   Post #: 43
RE: Stood up on first meeting - 9/2/2007 6:49:18 PM   
YourhandMyAss


Posts: 5516
Joined: 6/25/2006
From: Sacramento
Status: offline
What do y ou mean" restricted it"?
quote:

ORIGINAL: mmb1

I did have a phone number for him, we had spoken several times, I lost my old cell phone and sice then he restricted it! 

(in reply to mmb1)
Profile   Post #: 44
RE: Stood up on first meeting - 9/2/2007 7:13:29 PM   
corsetgirl


Posts: 824
Joined: 5/22/2004
Status: offline
I was stood up for the second time.  The first date with this dom was a "no show" as he had family emergencies.  The second date was nice as we met at a public place and I thought we had a connection for another date. 

He and I were approximately 40-50 miles apart from each other.  He had offered to come and see me.  I thought it would be a nice gesture on my part to make dinner for him.  Yesterday, I heard nothing from him and called to ask if he was okay.  He never returned my phone call but was online today.  I left a nice message on his machine, telling him what I thought about him as not being a dom, that he was a coward and had no honor and integrity.

I have since deleted his phone number from my cell phone.

It hurts and you feel disappointed but I am happy that I found out early about this "domaflake" and did not waste any more time on  this idiot.  I also feel that somebody else will eventually do the same thing to him and it will be payback.

< Message edited by corsetgirl -- 9/2/2007 7:15:14 PM >

(in reply to bandit25)
Profile   Post #: 45
RE: Stood up on first meeting - 9/2/2007 7:26:38 PM   
mmb1


Posts: 304
Joined: 8/3/2007
Status: offline
I was worried, thats another reason I stayed, because i thought something happened to him.  But I can't see a logical reason that he would come maybe see me and leave.

(in reply to happypervert)
Profile   Post #: 46
RE: Stood up on first meeting - 9/2/2007 7:29:29 PM   
mmb1


Posts: 304
Joined: 8/3/2007
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and I have no way of finding out.................what happened.

(in reply to happypervert)
Profile   Post #: 47
RE: Stood up on first meeting - 9/2/2007 7:32:36 PM   
mmb1


Posts: 304
Joined: 8/3/2007
Status: offline
Well thanks, but I am not going through this again, some of you say you went through it twice etc, I am really feeling that I don't want to even pursue this whole lifestyle after this, maybe its just me.  But thank you again.

(in reply to mmb1)
Profile   Post #: 48
RE: Stood up on first meeting - 9/2/2007 7:33:32 PM   
bandit25


Posts: 3029
Joined: 6/18/2005
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LOL HP, but you're right!  mmb1, you don't have a profile, or at least, not an active profile, so I can't know anything about you.  It's only going to happen once?  Wtf?  You just experienced Life, my dear.  This happens all the time no matter what "lifestyle" you are in.  Are you saying that you're never going to date anyone just because some jerk was well, a jerk?  That's ridiculous!  Give yourself a day or two.  Go shopping, buy something devastingly sexy and that makes you feel gorgeous, put it on, look in the mirror and feel pity for that schmuck that will NEVER get a chance to see your beautiful self.  and MOVE ON!

(in reply to happypervert)
Profile   Post #: 49
RE: Stood up on first meeting - 9/2/2007 7:35:54 PM   
HopeLost


Posts: 80
Joined: 2/7/2007
Status: offline
try to look on the brightside, at least he did it now instead of  a few monthes down the road. think of the energy you can now spend on finding a better partner.

(in reply to mmb1)
Profile   Post #: 50
RE: Stood up on first meeting - 9/2/2007 7:40:39 PM   
kittensmailbox


Posts: 744
Joined: 1/7/2005
From: Youngstown, Ohio
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: bandit25

LOL HP, but you're right!  mmb1, you don't have a profile, or at least, not an active profile, so I can't know anything about you.  It's only going to happen once?  Wtf?  You just experienced Life, my dear.  This happens all the time no matter what "lifestyle" you are in.  Are you saying that you're never going to date anyone just because some jerk was well, a jerk?  That's ridiculous!  Give yourself a day or two.  Go shopping, buy something devastingly sexy and that makes you feel gorgeous, put it on, look in the mirror and feel pity for that schmuck that will NEVER get a chance to see your beautiful self.  and MOVE ON!


i agree...

_____________________________

~softly smiles

~lowers her eyes in respect~

~kitten

(in reply to bandit25)
Profile   Post #: 51
RE: Stood up on first meeting - 9/2/2007 7:43:00 PM   
missbehaeven


Posts: 41
Joined: 1/25/2007
Status: offline
 Greetings mmb1 and everyone,
I'm with others wondering why he had originally given out his number and then restricted it.
Did he ever offer a reasonable explanation for that?
If you were still talking on the phone, and I'd hope that was the case if you were still making plans to meet him, did he go so far as to block his number so you couldn't see it?
I'd have had 2nd and 3rd thoughts about meeting someone who had become secretive enough to not allow me their number.
Chalk it up to a learning curve, mmb.
You made a beyond reasonable effort to meet him, driving all that distance and waiting.
It's his loss.
Don't give up the idea of meeting others, but take some time to let the sting ease from this until you have a better perspective.
Maybe start attending a few local gatherings, even if it's just for friendship.
I'm sorry you were hurt.
The internet sometimes gives a false sense of perfection and intimacy, and some people, maybe your online friend, can't handle that in real life things would be different.
That you were willing to take a chance speaks highly of you.
Find someone worthy of you.
 
I wish you and everyone a safe weekend...miss
 
 

(in reply to YourhandMyAss)
Profile   Post #: 52
RE: Stood up on first meeting - 9/2/2007 7:57:29 PM   
sweetpetslave


Posts: 5
Joined: 5/14/2006
Status: offline
this is strue story...so you are not the only one, and sadly not the last either...

Abandoned  

She sits in the corner of her room, huddled under a blanket trying to overcome the chill she feels down to her bones. Her computer in on, waiting for a message to come. Her mind keeps racing back over the last two years, trying to figure out what happened. He had told her how pleased He was with her and her ability to adapt to the many different scenarios He had given her. He had said how He was looking forward to Her coming to Him, and how much they both were going to enjoy their first physical contact. Now she is sitting in the corner, feeling more naked and alone than she has ever felt in her life.  
She has always been a very sensual and sexual girl, but had learned to keep all that hidden and somewhat under control. Alone in her bed at night, she would have fantasies of a man, strong and very dominating, coming into her room and taking her forcefully. She would imagine him doing all manners of different things to her. Then afterwards, holding her close to him to reassure her that she belonged to him and always would. When she tried to share these feelings with someone, she was told that nice girls did not feel that way and girls who did would end up unhappy and on the streets. So, she tried to live the "normal" life, but knew deep inside that she was different. What she did not know was that there was a whole world out there that felt as she did.  
After trying the "normal" married life and raising 3 fine young men, she went back to these feelings of needing to be able to surrender completely to someone. She was, at this time, married to an alcoholic and wife beater who stalked her every time she tried to leave him. He had not touched her in a sexual manner in over 10 years, a fact she was thankful for, as he never could maintain an erection for more than two minutes and it always left her feeling even more desperate and unsatisfied with her life. She needed something to fill her days, so she started doing volunteer work. She enjoyed this and it encouraged her to do more about her life. She started exercising and even started a new diet, which further made her feel better about herself. Still, she knew that a deep desire within her was not being fulfilled, and there was a longing in her that all this could not satisfy.  
One day after one of the usual arguments with her husband, she sat in front of her computer, wondering…thinking…someone else out there must feel the same. They, too, must be searching for the "something" missing. So, with trembling hands, she went to a dating web site and filled out a profile. Within a day, the responses were over-whelming her mailbox. Most were just talkers; some wanted just a one-night affair. Then one day as she was browsing the profiles, she found someone who interested her and scared her at the same time. He called to her deep, dark nature, arousing it and making it come to light after all the years of being suppressed. She wrote him these simple lines, "No man can tame me…Many have tried and all have fallen pitifully short." She never really expected a response from him, but within minutes he did respond with, " You have a very smart mouth and need someone to teach you how to control it." Her heart raced…’dare she respond to this?’ and before she could answer her own question, her fingers were already asking him to help her, to teach her, to take her. Thus started the M/s relationship, her first, and she was deliriously happy for 2 years. He made her stretch her mind and imagination beyond any boundary she had ever known. Just the sound of his voice could send waves of ecstasy coursing through her body. He taught her to enjoy some levels of pain and to accept and endure other levels because it pleased her Master, and therefore to derive pleasure in knowing she pleased Him. He would call her at least once a week for a session over the phone, and after He would allow her to have an orgasm, His voice would be so soft in her ears, telling her how pleased He was with her and how well she was advancing. He loved hearing her cries of pain and then the cries of ecstasy from the release He allowed her. They had started making plans to meet in person. The airline tickets were purchased, reservations were made, and the day was ever drawing near. She could hardly contain her excitement; she was going to finally be with the one whom had finally set her free by enslaving her to Him. She was looking forward to finally feel His hands on her flesh, to feel the sting of His whip, the force of Him taking her as He willed.  
Then, without warning, the e-mails and phone calls stopped. At first she thought nothing of this as there had been several hurricanes in His area and communications could be spotty. But after two weeks, she got scared. Someone advised her to ask the police in His area to check on Him at the address that He had given her. It turned out to be the address of a Self-storage company. She was angry, hurt, and felt more alone than ever. She tried several times to get a response from Him. Finally it sank into her head, and heart that she had been abandoned. So she sits in that corner, not really knowing for how long, shivering and waiting, alone and desperate, and feeling more naked than she has ever felt before…


_____________________________

SweetPetSlave
Owned & Collared by:
Hillman321

(in reply to mmb1)
Profile   Post #: 53
RE: Stood up on first meeting - 9/2/2007 7:58:12 PM   
mistressaries


Posts: 22
Joined: 8/1/2007
Status: offline
mmb....I am sorry that you had such a bad experience.  I have had the same thing happen from the other side...and they usually just disappear after that. No contach again at all.  It is extremely frustrating and very VERY rude.  (sorry for yelling)  I found out early that unless they agree to give you a phone number and you actually talk to them on the phone a number of times, it is always a risk you take if you are going to meet someone. And it doesn't matter if they come to you, you go to them or meet half way. You have my shared misery, anger, frustration etc. I wish you all the best luck in your next endevour to meet someone.
Hugs, MistressAries

(in reply to mmb1)
Profile   Post #: 54
RE: Stood up on first meeting - 9/2/2007 8:18:10 PM   
chathamvahere


Posts: 81
Joined: 7/3/2007
Status: offline
Do not let this sour you, we have been  stood up more then once:( but we keep trying), we have had good subs, and are currently looking for a rt slave (female), if he stood you up and you give up- like others said, -he wins, if you find what you seek, you win:) so far CM for us has been a disappointment, but we keep the faith ,sometimes you have to wonder what the other party got out of it, you feel like they formed a relationship with you for what??? Just to do nothing, but there are real people on hear seeking what you are, don't forget...:)

(in reply to happypervert)
Profile   Post #: 55
RE: Stood up on first meeting - 9/2/2007 8:20:37 PM   
RRafe


Posts: 2060
Joined: 8/29/2007
Status: offline
I have never stood anyone up-especially on a first date.

I also don't play games. I can only be dissed once or  twice, and someone becomes a ghost to me after that. Life is too short for BS, and silly people need to learn that there are consequences for screwing with other people's time and heads.

I think you did the right thing-but don't waste any more time on that guy.

(in reply to MstrSkyWoIf)
Profile   Post #: 56
RE: Stood up on first meeting - 9/2/2007 8:38:10 PM   
arayofsunshine55


Posts: 545
Joined: 8/1/2004
From: San Francisco, CA
Status: offline
Well I have never stood anyone up and I have never been stood up.  A few things I do.  Meet asap if at all possible.  7 months is for me waaaaaaaaaaaaaay too long.   And if we cannot find a way in a couple of months to meet in the middle then neither of us wants it enough and I'd move on.  Then I make sure I have a cell phone number.   The restricted thing would have been  sign that he was not interested enough in me for my tastes.   I call it before I leave my house.   If I do not get a response, if I do not reach him voice to voice, I'd not leave my house.   Well that's in theory, cause up to now it has never happened.  And no I would not wait 4 hours.  30 minutes is my limit.   I hope it was a movie you wanted to see and you at least got that out of it.

But at this point I would be suspending judgment until I heard more.  But I think you said you've blocked him so there is no way for him to contact you should there be a viable explanation.  Reality is shit does happen.



_____________________________

Sunshine

Is it not most transformative, most earthshaking, to pierce the veils of self-deception and illusion, and crack the eggshell of ignorance, to most intimately encounter oneself? Lama Surya Das

(in reply to mmb1)
Profile   Post #: 57
RE: Stood up on first meeting - 9/2/2007 8:49:50 PM   
YesMistressIrish


Posts: 1135
Joined: 5/1/2007
From: Calif
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: kittensmailbox

quote:

ORIGINAL: bandit25

LOL HP, but you're right!  mmb1, you don't have a profile, or at least, not an active profile, so I can't know anything about you.  It's only going to happen once?  Wtf?  You just experienced Life, my dear.  This happens all the time no matter what "lifestyle" you are in.  Are you saying that you're never going to date anyone just because some jerk was well, a jerk?  That's ridiculous!  Give yourself a day or two.  Go shopping, buy something devastingly sexy and that makes you feel gorgeous, put it on, look in the mirror and feel pity for that schmuck that will NEVER get a chance to see your beautiful self.  and MOVE ON!


i agree...

Me Too...
And, I will never wait  longer than a few weeks to meet someone. Too many people are available to connect with and that is what I seek.
 
Best of luck to the OP.

< Message edited by YesMistressIrish -- 9/2/2007 8:58:05 PM >

(in reply to kittensmailbox)
Profile   Post #: 58
RE: Stood up on first meeting - 9/2/2007 8:53:18 PM   
angelic


Posts: 1807
Joined: 1/24/2005
Status: offline
ahhh mmb, i am so sorry this happened.

_____________________________

~....and once you have tasted flight, you will walk the earth with your eyes turned skyward, for there you have been and there you long to return.~ -- Leonardo de Vinci


(in reply to mmb1)
Profile   Post #: 59
RE: Stood up on first meeting - 9/2/2007 9:09:02 PM   
DrkJourney


Posts: 1917
Joined: 5/6/2007
Status: offline
Sorry that happened to you.  It just happened to me, for the upteenth time.  Not being stood up for a meeting, but someone that just vanished. We had even made plans to meet soon. 

I was like you, I was thinking, something has to be wrong.  I mean I have his phone number, where he works, his address.... I know there is flooding in his area, maybe something is wrong. 

So for about 3 weeks I emailed his place of employment, he lived on the premises.  They never responded.  I was thinking, well it's a hostel in the mountains, maybe they are cut off right now, that made me feel better.  Until a friend told me to add the "tag" on my email, that would notifiy me if it had been opened.   His wasn't, but theirs were.  I even had friends in the same town try to contact them, and just as he was about to go up there.....

Well, he finally got in touch with me, saying that he left his job, and had no way to get in touch, and that there was no need contacting them because he didn't give them a forwarding address.  hmmmm...funny he got in touch with me to leave that message.  Are there no libraries there?  He said a "friend" who was still employed there told him about the messages.  I didn't ask for details all I wanted to know was if he was still alive or not.  The never bothered to respond.

Unfortunately, there are a lot of gamers out there, in all lifestyles, and no matter how you try to protect yourself, they just get more and more cleaver...so there really is no way....just have to take a leap of faith every now and then.    Personally, I don't see what they get out of playing with people's emotions like that, but "oh well", not going to let them rent another second of space in my life wondering about anything a loser does. 

It's hard to get over, just give yourself some time, and it will lessen.  Then just get right back up on the old horsey  :>

_____________________________

...Look into my eyes and I'll own you....



(in reply to mmb1)
Profile   Post #: 60
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