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RE: Stood up on first meeting - 9/2/2007 9:13:26 PM

sweetcreeangel

Posts: 70
Joined: 6/3/2007
Status: offline

sometimes something happens but it is very rude that he didnt get back to you................in some way eg phone call...........i would do the smae thing as well

(in reply to mmb1)

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RE: Stood up on first meeting - 9/2/2007 9:17:07 PM

MstrssScarlet

Posts: 633
Joined: 6/3/2005
From: Indianapolis, Indiana
Status: offline

You've received a lot of good advice. As others have pointed out, it happens on both sides of the fence. I generally have a long conversation before meeting anyone and then have them meet me in a town nearby - about 10 miles. I usually confirm the day before as well. If they don't show, I go shopping or something else to make my trip worthwhile. I generally allow extra time IF they answer their phone. If not, I'm gone.
Don't give up or this loser wins. Try some r/t activities near you. Even if you don't see anyone who interests you, they might know someone who would! There are a lot of online game players that make it hard for everyone else but don't let that make you give up altogether. If it helps any, my husband and I met online. No lie! I was late meeting him in person the first time and he didn't own a cell phone. I couldn't find the place, so I called and asked them to find him and give him a message. They didn't. Fortunately for me, he waited. He told me that usually he only allowed 10 minutes and then they had to come to his area. I would gladly have done so after explaining myself and would have called him if he'd had a cell phone.
Anyway......don't give up. There are some real people behind these profiles.
Mistress Scarlet

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"Say, that hurts a little bit" "And you don't like to be hurt do ya?" "I don't know...kinda fun sometimes if it's done in the right spirit."
Jean Harlow in The Beast of the City

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RE: Stood up on first meeting - 9/2/2007 11:40:01 PM

sweetpetslave

Posts: 5
Joined: 5/14/2006
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The Dom/Master that abandoned me in November 2005 recently joined CM, so imagine the chill that went down my spine when I saw His name on the list of who's viewing me (and He is still claiming to be the same age He was 3 years ago)! But I believe things happen for a reason, so if He had not abandoned me I would not be with the wonderful Master I am with now.

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RE: Stood up on first meeting - 9/3/2007 12:42:36 AM

proudsub

Posts: 6142
Joined: 1/31/2004
From: Washington
Status: offline

I am also sorry this happened to you mmb1. If you ever do talk to him again please let us know what excuse he came up with.

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proudsub

"Without goals you become what you were. With goals you become what you wish." .

"You are entitled to your own opinions but not your own facts"--Alan Greenspan

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RE: Stood up on first meeting - 9/3/2007 4:18:16 AM

came4U

Posts: 3572
Joined: 1/23/2007
From: London, Ontario
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Maybe his manager at the BK wouldn't let him off early to meet you.

This guy, is like many, a time waster. A time waster with no class.

Try not to blame yourself, chin up and go forward. Next time, make the guy drive to your town.

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RE: Stood up on first meeting - 9/3/2007 5:02:10 AM

mmb1

Posts: 304
Joined: 8/3/2007
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Let me clarify this........this is not a "usual" story......and I know you are all saying move on, you will get over it, go shopping, in a few weeks look for someone else..........this is not my style!!!! And is not his either. When we met in his chat room 7 months ago, there was an instant connection that developed more and more over time. Unbelievably a soulful connection, that you really do not hear of here often. In all those months slowly, he has built up my trust, heart, soul, and I believe I had done the same, and when I say he prooved it, I mean, he really did, in ways that are too complicated to explain. The effort we both put in was amazing! We both wanted offline, R/T, and to be 24/7 and have a relationship one day after of course getting to know each other outside of here. Yes we spoke on the phone, I lost the phone, then he restricted the number because I did not have the number anymore. He took his profile off of CM over a month ago to "help" me as my Mentor, Dom........made up several more (and I mean several), is well known here (in the chats) and yes took down the profile, to mentor me, and he is tough!!! But in that month, he has taught me so much and mostly to follow what I was "submissive" and stop trying to fight it. So, I trust this man to do the same and "follow through". In this time period we had no chat etc on here, just little clues and indirect things he would tell me, which began to get me really annoyed without meeting him after 7 months. Afterall, for two people who want R/T, once again he was hyprocritical, because I showed up, and he didn't. I am not having an online relationship, I never wanted it, and neither did he, it just happened with us. So for two people who have the same goal/s, I am still saying, why did the man I adore more than anything, leave me abandoned there after that drive there and back, and me walking and waiting in front of a theater for 4 hrs. If that isn't being submissive (standing there waiting and waiting), well then I guess I am not!!!!!! I am so angry with him! Sorry, that rant is over, I am angry, hurt beyond belief, and no, it will not go away in a couple of days bandit25, perhaps for some it would.........for me NO!

(in reply to came4U)

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RE: Stood up on first meeting - 9/3/2007 5:08:43 AM

bandit25

Posts: 3029
Joined: 6/18/2005
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Actually, this is the usual story for many. You aren't the only one this has ever happened to. You say neither of you wanted an online relationship. Um, that's exactly what you had. And anyone who is a regular poster to the boards hears of this kind of relationship weekly. Sorry, but it's true. Apparently, you didn't have the same goals or he would have been there. You need to read over what you have posted. Remove yourself from the equation (if you can) and look at it objectively. You were played. It happens. All the time.

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RE: Stood up on first meeting - 9/3/2007 5:12:11 AM

mmb1

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OK, thanks. I find it a lot doubtful...........but ok.

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RE: Stood up on first meeting - 9/3/2007 5:13:46 AM

mmb1

Posts: 304
Joined: 8/3/2007
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And BTW---------I wanted offline as soon as we met, and the only reason I came here was to be with him.............so that was my reason! His....well, I can't answer that!!! I guess him wanting NOT to be an online Dom/etc, was my fault for believing it!

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RE: Stood up on first meeting - 9/3/2007 5:16:24 AM

chellekitty

Posts: 3923
Joined: 3/27/2005
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ok...you're probably gonna hate me for this...but lots of people have coddled you...said, its going to be alright...suck it up...take part for what you did wrong...yes he fucked up and he's a dimwit...but you stood out there for 4 hours (i would have atleast gone inside and watched a movie)...after driving for 3 hours..with no contact information...after he "restricted" your phone calls"...i'm sorry honey if this didn't sound like it to you before...here is it in plain english...based on what you have said, he doesn't want a real life relationship with you and can not tell you, so he's trying to scare you away....its high school tactics but some people never grow up...put on your big girl panties and grieve...get angry...get sad...but move on...figure out what the heck you did wrong...cause i really don't want to see a repeat in 6 months or a year or two years....and THEN find someone new

good luck, so long, farewell...
chelle

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RE: Stood up on first meeting - 9/3/2007 5:23:23 AM

chathamvahere

Posts: 81
Joined: 7/3/2007
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Sorry dear, but it is a usual story, you have taken it too far in your heart and your mind, example, we were chatting with a young lady just last week, everything was great, she sent offlines, all was well, now after 3 weeks, nothing, no reason , no communication, she reads our messages, just no reply, tis life on the internet, you gave a clue to the outcome of your online relationship with your latest rant,(" He took his profile off of CM over a month ago to "help" me as my Mentor, Dom........made up several more (and I mean several), is well known here (in the chats) and yes took down the profile, to mentor me, and he is tough!!! ") taking his profile down ???making up several more ??? ( red flag) yet you failed to see it, look at your so called Doms actions, CM can be a great place to share ideas, interact with others, look at profiles, and hopefully find what you seek, but until you are face to face, or whipping them into shape:) nothing is guarenteed, Mistress

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RE: Stood up on first meeting - 9/3/2007 5:26:01 AM

came4U

Posts: 3572
Joined: 1/23/2007
From: London, Ontario
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He removed his profile in order that you would not post about him and have you associated with that name. Also, so that you and his bizarro world of other women he has been trailing along would not meet up. Don't cry over spill't losers.

< Message edited by came4U -- 9/3/2007 5:27:05 AM >

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RE: Stood up on first meeting - 9/3/2007 5:26:37 AM

MissMagnolia

Posts: 3636
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I agree with chelle.

Arseholes are arseholes, bullshitters are bullshitters, no matter what side of the fence you're on. Doms, subs, vanilla's, policemen, checkout chicks, everyone takes a risk when meeting someone for the first time. Dickheads don't turn up because they're too gutless to let you know they changed their mind. No matter what you say, it quite obviously IS his style! 7 months and no meeting? But you don't have an online only relationship? Fark, c'mon!!!!!! Disappointing, hurtful, yes, life changing, no.

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RE: Stood up on first meeting - 9/3/2007 5:31:13 AM

mnottertail

Posts: 60698
Joined: 11/3/2004
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who knows why people do weird shit like that? I talked to a girl once, everything going smooth, back and forth millions of times a day--- for 2 months making plans to pick her up from the airport-----her plane is gonna get in at 11:30p (and I reapeatedly gave her a chance to fess up, and told her that I have flown repeatedly into every airport in minnesota, didnt call her a liar, nothing.....at 11:30p that glorious day, I had been in bed asleep for a couple hours, since the last flight into that airport was 10:05p.

LOL, when little things don't start adding up, it is because the calculator is broken.

Ron

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RE: Stood up on first meeting - 9/3/2007 5:31:18 AM

lilypad1951

Posts: 8
Joined: 10/8/2006
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I am definitely not trying to be rude but realistic; this craps happens to everyone. On line is a good place for people to live out their fantasies. Hovv can you pos sibly adore (your vvords) someone you have never met but have only spoken to on phone and on line. Novv you are taking things to the other extreme emotionally, by blocking out or not dealing vvith others. I think you need to look at yourself and your reactions...sounds as though you need to put things more in balance and in perspective.

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RE: Stood up on first meeting - 9/3/2007 5:31:21 AM

mmb1

Posts: 304
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came4u- He knows I would never mention his name in posts, so that is not why he took it down. Yeah ok, thank you for all of your help!!! I learned the lesson, thanks!

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RE: Stood up on first meeting - 9/3/2007 5:39:32 AM

Squeakers

Posts: 489
Joined: 10/3/2006
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   I guess maybe I am a realist, but whenever I have had a meeting whether they were coming to me or I was going to them, I knew there was a 50% chance they would show and a 50% chance they would not.    I have always had a plan B, just in case.   My last first meeting was a five hour plane ride, had my own room booked, had more than enough money to eat on and a little left over so if I needed to entertain myself in one of the coolest cities in America I could have done so.
mmb1 I know you are sad right now.   Everyone can look at the senerio that you have displayed and see it with detached feelings.   Right now you can't but I promise you will at some point.   You are grieving right now, and that is expected, okay so what it was online and seven month, but you put your heart into it.   Grief is natural.
   My advise, cause I do it mostly when I feel bad, is journal.   (A journal is not JUST one of those things a Dom thought up to do, it is an act of finding your center.   At least for me it is.)   I know right now that you need support from others and that is great.   But, the answers you need are right there inside yourself.   Journal out your anger.   It helps!   Write out what you would say to him if you could speak to him right now.   It helps.   Write out what you could have done differently, write out any hesistations you may have felt over the seven months, write out anything that you think might have been an indication that he may not have been on the up and up.   Retain this information.   Once you are feeling better and start looking again and you will, (know how many people have 'left' and returned?) you will have a better handle on things.   You may want to move a meeting sooner, you may want to wait, you may want them to come to you or you may take a chance and go to them.   Who knows but now you are wiser.   Could it happen again?   YES, but the chances are less likely because you were burned once and learned from it.
      mmb1, be well and again I promise, it does get better.

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RE: Stood up on first meeting - 9/3/2007 5:54:21 AM

chathamvahere

Posts: 81
Joined: 7/3/2007
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Everyone here understands that you are hurt, healing takes time, be thankful that you did not get hurt financially, that happens all to often online, when you give your heart to someone try to make sure that that person is real, by real I mean you have met, you have spent time together in real life not online, anyone can be anything behind a computer screen, always remember (that with a grain of salt) Mistress

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RE: Stood up on first meeting - 9/3/2007 6:11:32 AM

mmb1

Posts: 304
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Thank you, I do keep a journal every day, i just am a private person and do not like to display it online...........but believe me, I have one and it is burning right now with hurt. But thanks.

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RE: Stood up on first meeting - 9/3/2007 7:28:58 AM

murmur

Posts: 394
Joined: 9/26/2005
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i got stood up once, so i know how you feel...fortunately, i had a bunch of friends with me, so the miserable feelings went away pretty quickly...

blah, he must have had a blast, knowing you would be there, waiting...ah, bad times, but hey, at least you know you wont have to waste more time on his watch...

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