RE: White Dom/black sub....afraid of the "N" word.

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RE: White Dom/black sub....afraid of the "N" ... - 1/27/2008 10:14:28 AM

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If you're worried about backlash from your partner if you bring up the idea of exploring a certain desire or fetish, then you're with the wrong partner.

As for "colo(u)red": Justme, that word is considered offensive in English today, so avoid using it if unless you know whom you're dealing with. (It was used for Asian Indians, too: in colonial India, there were the whites and the coloureds.) But let's not forget that the NAACP uses the word "colored," so to me the whole damned thing is arbitrary. Generally, discussions about race in this country tend to focus too much on words and not enough about intentions and genuine understanding. This overblown business about the sportscaster who joked about "lynching" Tiger Woods is another example. The woman is a FRIEND of Tiger Woods!

quote:

ORIGINAL: wideeyedyoungun

I'd definitely be wiling to explore it, but am not interested enough to take on the potential backlash from my partner if I were to straight-up ask him for it.

(in reply to wideeyedyoungun)

RE: White Dom/black sub....afraid of the "N" ... - 1/27/2008 10:56:33 AM

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It would not be a problem for me- in private during a session.

(in reply to Lordandmaster)

RE: White Dom/black sub....afraid of the "N" ... - 1/27/2008 11:07:10 AM

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FR, and I haven't read the entire thread, so apologies in advance if I'm covering old ground. I have been in exactly this situation. I had a black submissive (I am white) for several years. While race play was not part of why we got together, it developed when she begged me to use the N word as part of our humiliation play. While calling her a "n . . . . . bitch" didn't turn me on, and at first was difficult for me, in fact her very strong and erotic reaction did turn me on. Why was it hard for me? Simply because I learned at an early age not to use racial / ethnic slurs, and not to tolerate those that do. So it was a break in my conditioning.

BTW, I had a relationship with a different black woman, and we talked about this sort of play, and her reaction was that if I'd used that term, it would have ended our play -- and our relationship -- immediately.

E.

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"When you wake up, Pooh," said Piglet, "what's the first thing you say?"
"What's for breakfast? What do you say, Piglet?"
"I say, I wonder what's going to happen exciting today?"
Pooh nodded thoughtfully.
"It's the same thing," he said.

(in reply to Owner4SexSlave)

RE: White Dom/black sub....afraid of the "N" ... - 1/27/2008 11:43:56 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Lordandmaster

If you're worried about backlash from your partner if you bring up the idea of exploring a certain desire or fetish, then you're with the wrong partner.

As for "colo(u)red": Justme, that word is considered offensive in English today, so avoid using it if unless you know whom you're dealing with. (It was used for Asian Indians, too: in colonial India, there were the whites and the coloureds.) But let's not forget that the NAACP uses the word "colored," so to me the whole damned thing is arbitrary. Generally, discussions about race in this country tend to focus too much on words and not enough about intentions and genuine understanding. This overblown business about the sportscaster who joked about "lynching" Tiger Woods is another example. The woman is a FRIEND of Tiger Woods!

quote:

ORIGINAL: wideeyedyoungun

I'd definitely be wiling to explore it, but am not interested enough to take on the potential backlash from my partner if I were to straight-up ask him for it.

Ahh ok. Thank you for explaining. Thought it was a decent word to use. So what is a good word to use

Afro Americans is weird also when you live in Europe lol

< Message edited by Justme696 -- 1/27/2008 11:46:07 AM >

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RE: White Dom/black sub....afraid of the "N" ... - 1/27/2008 1:34:28 PM

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For LAM -- NAACP was founded back when calling black people colored was considered the politically correct term so it might not be as inconsistent as it seems at first glance. Maybe they found it too hard to change their stationery with all the name changes black people have had in the US over the years :)

Justme696 -- it's interesting to me that you wrote that you see black people call each other N* all the time. Is this just poetic license or do you really mean that you are actually in a place where you encounter this a lot? I'm a black woman living in Manhattan, New York and I hear the term very rarely. Most recently, I've had the surprise to overhear it in a conversation where one white guy is calling another white guy N* as a term interchangeable with buddy, mate, bro, etc!

I lived in London for a couple of years and I can honestly say that I never ever heard it there. Heck, I've even been to Amsterdam and never heard it there either :)

*My* preference is to be called black (if you have to refer to me by ethnicity at all), Justme696.

As for the OP, I applaud her efforts to get more understanding of why some doms might demur at engaging in play that she finds exciting. For me, I can't see myself getting off on it - but hey, time makes fools of us all, eh?

(in reply to Justme696)

RE: White Dom/black sub....afraid of the "N" ... - 1/27/2008 1:56:04 PM

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quote:

Justme696 -- it's interesting to me that you wrote that you see black people call each other N* all the time. Is this just poetic license or do you really mean that you are actually in a place where you encounter this a lot? I'm a black woman living in Manhattan, New York and I hear the term very rarely. Most recently, I've had the surprise to overhear it in a conversation where one white guy is calling another white guy N* as a term interchangeable with buddy, mate, bro, etc!

No no..It sadly just an impression I get from tv. I am from the NEtherlands..we have collonies (Suriname, antillen, dutch indies) around the world..and all kind of people around that moved here. We have discrimination also of course....but not so bad. We have more problems right now with the MAroccan Islamic population.
I just know the American situation from tv...but I just start to wonder how wrong it is. But still..the impression is made.

quote:

*My* preference is to be called black (if you have to refer to me by ethnicity at all), Justme696.

I always see a person, not a group when I talk..so iI prefer too a name.

< Message edited by Justme696 -- 1/27/2008 1:57:58 PM >

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RE: White Dom/black sub....afraid of the "N" ... - 2/24/2008 8:14:11 AM

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I just joined so I can answer this particular point.

I am white and my wife is black. One time we were going at it and she was crying out her usual 'Fuck my pussy, fuck it!', etc, and she shouted 'Fuck my black pussy!'.

We had discussed skin colour before and she had expressed excitement at my describing her pussy as chocolate and things like that.

Well, anyway, this occasion was the start of something we have been enjoying now for three years or so. We quickly went into the territory of her shouting 'Fuck my nigger pussy' and by then I was whipping her with my belt, and using the N word while I fucked her doggy style while whipping her ass with the belt.

It turns us on, and I see no connection with any kind of racist attitude. It is just a derogatory term that seems really dirty and naughty to say whilst fucking,

So there!

:)

(in reply to Justme696)

RE: White Dom/black sub....afraid of the "N" ... - 2/24/2008 8:21:46 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: biracalsub4wmDom
i am black...well....1/2 black 1/2 white, but they say "if you have 1 drop.... you black." so...i'm black. lol and i prefer a White Dom. i also enjoy racial humilliation. actually, i enjoy it very much. but it seems like a lot of the Doms i talk to are scared of this.

I dont have a problem at all with calling you the things you wished to be called. But I think you should be careful not to be overheard by others who of course will not understand what you are doing.

(in reply to biracalsub4wmDom)

RE: White Dom/black sub....afraid of the "N" ... - 2/24/2008 11:00:55 AM

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From: Constrictor1
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Hello biracial, as some have already said on here there are numerous words that can and will be used in a scene or lifestyle context: bitch cunt whore sissy etc... In most cases a reference like these in the mundane world would at least be unacceptable and at worst start a fist fight. I personally am an equal opportunity bigot. I pretty much dislike everyone until they prove they are worth my trust. I am not afraid to say anything as long as my SO is comfortable with it. Also I am one of those people that uses the word nigger to describe someones lifestyle , not a particular color of skin. All in all if you like it and it turns you on to be called names then I see no reason not to just up and refer to you in any manner you accept as enjoyable. The rest of the "outside world" can pretty much kiss my ass after that.

Constrictor

(in reply to biracalsub4wmDom)

RE: White Dom/black sub....afraid of the "N" ... - 2/24/2008 1:24:20 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: mnottertail

Oh my god....... run, Forest, run------the crackers are goin off!!!!!!!!

MizRudolph (ya might have to be a little older to know her).

*narrowly avoids spitting a mouthful of pork rinds onto the screen*

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Fake the heat and scratch the itch
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RE: White Dom/black sub....afraid of the "N" ... - 2/25/2008 12:13:54 AM

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I think race play is hot. I think some one else said it. Like a dirty little secret you know your wite master is your owner no matter how un PC it is.

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RE: White Dom/black sub....afraid of the "N" ... - 2/25/2008 10:21:06 PM

AtlantisKing111

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I'll chime in on this, since I'm a white Dom with a black sub and I don't do race-based scenes. Before I do, I'll just say however that if someone likes race-based scenes, I view them the same as any other type of scene. If they float your boat and do no harm to you, then by all means do them and enjoy them. But I still have no desire to watch them.

As for my reason for not doing them ...

It's not that I fear being politically incorrect. As a Conservative Republican I'm not pc anyways so I don't particularly care if what I do is pc or not.

It's not that I'd try it if my slave desired it (I could not).

It's not that it is a social issue for me. I believe anyone can be what they want in the lifestyle. A black person can desire to be a slave and it is perfectly fine socially as far as I'm concerned.

I think it comes down to a moral issue for me. I was raised to not be racist. Racism to me is morally wrong. So to do a race-based scene I'd have to take the role of something I do not approve of.

When I dominate my girl I'm doing so as a man dominating a woman, not a white person dominating a black person. And for me it's perfectly ok from a moral standpoint for a man to dominate a woman.

Atlantis

(in reply to biracalsub4wmDom)

RE: White Dom/black sub....afraid of the "N" ... - 2/25/2008 10:55:58 PM

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For me racial humiliation would be a big turn on because it is so forbidden. I would feel guilty calling a black woman the N word, but it would be the same sort of guilt I would get from making ehr cry from physical pain, that nasty, pleasant guilt that makes me feel like a big scary monster. I can understand why some people would not want to indulge in this sort of humiliaiton, I know I would not do so without knowinbg the sub welcomed it, but if I knew she did I would enjoy it very much. The same applies to humiliating an overweight woman about her weight. It is cruel, but it is just the sort of cruelty that some people love.

(in reply to biracalsub4wmDom)

RE: White Dom/black sub....afraid of the "N" ... - 3/10/2008 1:41:16 PM

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I don't know about others, but I am a very submissive black male who enjoys plantation fantasies and is very aroused by racial humiliation- male or female. I have always been turned on by images of black females being dommed and abused by White men, but lately i have been even more excited by seeing White men use black males as bois and plantation toys. I don't think that makes me a freak. i have met with and spoken to others who are of the same opinion. I keep it all on the DL and am very private, but i'm not hurtin anyone so i don't think it should be a problem

(in reply to Nineveh)

RE: White Dom/black sub....afraid of the "N" ... - 3/12/2008 9:37:37 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: biracalsub4wmDom

hiya! :)
alright y'all, I have another question.
i am black...well....1/2 black 1/2 white, but they say "if you have 1 drop.... you black." so...i'm black. lol and i prefer a White Dom. i also enjoy racial humilliation. actually, i enjoy it very much. but it seems like a lot of the Doms i talk to are scared of this.

my question is why? i'm assuming it is because they don't want to come across as a racist. or maybe they have black family, and it is offensive to them. or maybe they are scared of what others will think if they enjoyed such a thing. i guess all of this could be true.

i've been told by white doms that i should work on my self esteem....that i am disrespecting myself by thinking this way. in this lifestyle, you wouldn't tell a woman who loves to be called a slut & a whore that she needs to work on her self esteem. that would be considered HOT...right? so what is the difference?

if you are a White Dom, and it is offensive to you, i am curious to find out why. is it a moral issue? is it a social issue? is it a matter of wanting to be seen as politically correct? is it something where you SAY it makes you uncomfortable, but if you were with someone who enjoyed it, you'd give it a try?

just trying to pick your brains a bit. :)

blessings....

...wow. I've never thought of this. I have to say that if I were with a black or mixed woman and we were playing hard, I would have no qualms about calling her my little cunt but I would never, EVER think to call her my little nigger. My best friend (person I go to bars with) is black and we talk about racial issues in politics all the time. he knows my opinions and knows I'm not racist and I still hesitate and try to avoid saying that word if I'm quoting, say, an episode of curb your enthusiasm. here's the episode, by the way: http://youtube.com/watch?v=DVqFCXaEN2c

if you told me you liked it and I were to use racial humiliation, it would take a while for me to be comfortable doing it. I wouldn't know what would be a hot topic issue and what I'd need to avoid. to be honest, I don't know if I'd ever be able to do it naturally.

it's not offensive to me. I, living in alabama, hear stupid things regularly (including racism) and I'm not personally offended, my reaction is more along the lines of "jesus what an idiot." I'm also not a person who particularly cares to be politically correct or cares for the social ramifications of what I say or do.I also don't think being racist is immoral. it's an opinion and I fail to see how opinions can be moral or immoral (I only think actions can be). I suppose saying it in any context that isn't utterly self-deprecatory would make me feel as if I were one of those people that I absolutely hate for their opinions.

if I were sure where your boundaries are and I were to use it with you, I would never shake the feeling that I was insulting and humiliating you for something that you have no reason to be insulted for.

when I use verbal humiliation, I never use it to humiliate the woman for anything other than her actions. if she is being used for sex, I will let her know just what she is. she is what she is because of what she does, what she submits to, and what she enjoys. I do not humiliate her for anything other than this. if I have her refer to herself as a thing, it is because she is being used as a thing. if I have her refer to herself as my filthy slut, it's because she is acting like my filthy slut. I cannot picture how you could act like you happen to have more melanin in your skin. verbal humiliation is a reinforcement. I want you to act this way, you are acting this way, I am telling you, you acknowledge it. it is not an insult. humiliating you for your race makes about as much sense to me as humiliating you for having a parent who died. it has nothing to do with what we are doing here and now and as such, I don't see how it has a place in the act.

but then again, I am very new to this so...if you told me you enjoyed it, I would try it.

_____________________________

all the good ones are collared or lesbians.

or old.

(in reply to biracalsub4wmDom)

RE: White Dom/black sub....afraid of the "N" ... - 3/13/2008 12:07:03 PM

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nigger is not a race word or culture targeted word... niggers come in all collors and races

(in reply to Lordandmaster)

RE: White Dom/black sub....afraid of the "N" ... - 3/13/2008 5:38:45 PM

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From: Constrictor1
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Greetings all. I took the time to both follow this thread and read virtually all the posts. I am very interested in the "perception" of the word "nigger". It seems that a lot of people here seem to believe that nigger= black. I don't! I am a southern redneck raised in Columbia SC and spent 15 years also in Augusta GA. Regardless of being brought up in some of the bastions of the ignorant south, I see nigger = way of life. I have known black, white, asian, hispanic and even Canadian niggers. I see the word defining a lifestyle without any personal dignity or pride, not a color. I don't know who said this and I hope I am not butchering the quote but I use it to help understand when I allow someone's behaviour or words make me angry. It goes like this: Offense cannot be given , only intended. One has to ACCEPT the offense...and in that moment of acceptance of offense you have given the offense the validity of truth or accuracy. Your anger at this point is the outward expression that you have accepted the offense, as well as allowing another to control how you think and feel.
Having said that, I would like the OP to realize that as long as she is not offended (and hopefully aroused) then it really does not matter in the dynamic she and her master have what any of us think.

Constrictor1
P.S. I hope I haven't offended anyone

(in reply to biracalsub4wmDom)

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