RE: White Dom/black sub....afraid of the "N" word.

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RE: White Dom/black sub....afraid of the "N" ... - 11/5/2007 3:55:00 PM

MzMia

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<<likes the EbonyKing, he keeps it real!

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RE: White Dom/black sub....afraid of the "N" ... - 11/5/2007 4:04:26 PM

laurell3

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quote:

ORIGINAL: biracalsub4wmDom

This thread has taken a turn for the worse. I doubt I'll be posting to it again. I didn't realize that by posting this question I would be subjecting myself to being put down. That was my mistake in thinking that I could be open & real, without retaliation.
I just want to make it very clear that I am NOT a racist.....I have always embraced BOTH of my cultural backgrounds....and if I have offended anyone with this post, I apologize. That was not my intention.

I have never gotten any impression you are a racist. As I said, this isn't something I personally would ever be comfortable doing, but I sure wouldn't suggest you are insecure or crazy for wanting your own kink, nor should you listen to anyone else that says so.

Step back, these people don't know you from Eve and they never will. You know what's right for you, do it. It was a good discussion. I found it interesting and at times amusing and it brought out some insightful posters that don't usually post. As with any forum on any public board, when you go to the circus, you have to expect a few clowns there.

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RE: White Dom/black sub....afraid of the "N" ... - 11/5/2007 4:27:54 PM

Nikolette

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Okay, so I skimmed through a lot of this and I am replying to the OP, rather than any digressions and discussions currently going on.

First of all, I don't really think there is anything wrong with you, or your desire. I do think that it COULD come from downward oppressing low self esteem, and maybe those guys were commenting on something that you can't see about yourself yet if they know you particularly well and have seen you a lot in real life interacting. I've had close friends and family comment on things I couldn't YET see about myself, so its possible. But I have no idea if that is what you ARE doing. So I'll assume for all intents and purposes... that you're not in that kind of rut and this is just... hot.

You seem like you have given this a good deal of thought, and you don't have any obvious screaming signs of something awry. Thus I would have no problem enjoying this particular thing (although, granted, I am a Domme and not a Dom so....) I am not racist in any malicious way. If I'm extremely honest, I will say I probably have some preconceived ideas about race as a general rule, but in my heart I believe people really ARE all equal, since judgment is SO subjective. Whether gender/race/sexuality etc. People are inherently equal on a fundamental level, but we all have differences. So I'm pretty comfortable in the fact that I, personally, am not racist. But I like the taboo and edgy. I like things that are questionable and slippery. So that means I would totally love it if a slave wanted me to test out boundaries... my own, societies, their desires. I like experimenting with possibilities. I wouldn't respect someone less for just about ANY desire that they had. My concerns would be with how they are living that desire out. Is THAT respectable? (To ME of course... all subjective)... and you are definitely respectably pursuing your interests. But this would be somewhat strange for me to adjust to. As open as I am to it. This is mostly due to having some distant family who are racist. As a child growing up I wasn't around them terribly often, but I remember their prejudice making my skin practically crawl. Their legitimate issues with people based on skin pigments and hate mongering were revolting to me.... So I'm pretty glad I had fairly strong feelings about this from the get go of my experiences. The point is... when I see myself saying the word to someone it sets my teeth on edge but... it also excites me from a daring, taboo place.

So... this is my point of view and I claim to be only representing myself and my life as I know it thus far, so.... people feel free to comment on it if you want, but there it stands and I'm not looking for message board drama.

biacalsub: Good luck finding the balance of respect and domination that you are looking for. People may be looking for different things, but your desires and needs are just as valid and relevant as anyone else's and don't let them ever fool you into thinking otherwise.

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RE: White Dom/black sub....afraid of the "N" ... - 11/5/2007 4:35:17 PM

Blaakmaan

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Lordandmaster

OK, let me get this straight. As a black man, as you put it, you care about...what two lovers call each other in private? How on EARTH is that any of your business? You're free to "respect" or "disrespect" people for whatever reason your heart desires, but disrespecting people for the kinks that arouse them isn't going to win you very many friends on Collarme.

I thought the whole point of going through life with an alternative sexuality was to recognize that the One True Way does not work for everyone. You do what you like in private, and let other people do what they like in private. It seems like an awful waste of time, when there are REAL injustices in society today, to pontificate about people's sexual preferences.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Blaakmaan

If all that matters to you is getting your pussy wet or your dick hard, then by all means, go for whatever floats your individual boat.

As a black man, I care about more than that. Much more.

So, notwithstanding the fact that being called a "nigger" whatever sets off fireworks in your mental clitoris (or your mental penis, as it were), i personally could not have less respect for a black man or woman who gets off on some white person calling them nigger.

Yes, you got that straight!

That's my opinion of this whole "nigger bitch" (or "nigger bastard," lest I be sexist) mess. And I said so. That's my opinion! That's what posts are for.

You think what you want. Then you post it.

That's what this is.

I could articulate my belief that a black person debasing himself to white person, for whatever reason, has ramifications beyond those two people in that encounter at that moment, but why bother?

As far as kinks are concerned, "race play" is probably the only kink I have a serious problem with. You can get pissed on, smacked around, led around by the nose and beaten until you're bloody--I really don't give a damn. But when a black person debases himself or herself to a white person, I, personally, have a problem with that. I imagine that, if I were Jewish (which I am not) and another Jew got off on some gentile calling him or her a "Jew bitch" or a "kike" or something equally anti-semitic, racist and degrading, I would have a problem with that, as well!

I think you're debasing more than yourself when you do that. That's my opinion. And that's all it has to be.

About "winning" friends on CM, let me say this.

I don't try to disrespect anybody, unless he or she disrespects me.

This, at least for me, is not all about winning friends and influencing people. I didn't come here looking for friends. I have friends.

I'm a black man with strong opinions, especially on racial issues. Anyone who can't deal with that can't deal with me. My racial consciousness is not something I would take off when I sign onto CM so I can "win" friends.

[Hmmm.... Maybe I should add that to the "warning label" on my profile...]

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RE: White Dom/black sub....afraid of the "N" ... - 11/5/2007 5:01:46 PM

blackboi4queen

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This is an interesting topic, surprised I didn't catch it sooner. I'm only seeking a black domme now, but I used to engage in race-play with a white domme. While it wasn't specifically a pre-civil war fantasy, there were times when i'd be called "n----" and beaten and treated like a house boy in racially humiliating ways. I outgrew it, but from time to time I think about it, and still don't see anything wrong with it. Someone else said it was just a fantasy between consenting adults, and that pretty much sums it up. It's not a political movement or rise of the confederacy lol. There are many more poignant issues to be disturbed by. live and let live...

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RE: White Dom/black sub....afraid of the "N" ... - 11/5/2007 5:05:39 PM

laurell3

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If you guys are going to throw down and start fighting...can it be naked please?

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RE: White Dom/black sub....afraid of the "N" ... - 11/5/2007 5:14:08 PM

MissMagnolia

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YAY!!!! Naked jelly wrestling!!!!!

I'll provide the jelly. (or jello as I think you call it)

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RE: White Dom/black sub....afraid of the "N" ... - 11/5/2007 5:16:25 PM

laurell3

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What do you call the stuff on pb&j then?

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RE: White Dom/black sub....afraid of the "N" ... - 11/5/2007 5:20:36 PM

DarkDaddyZ

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Here's a new thread race play with ky jelly (or probe lube) wrestling!

Of course for someone like me, it'd take a truck load of lube!

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RE: White Dom/black sub....afraid of the "N" ... - 11/5/2007 5:22:57 PM

MadRabbit

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Blaakmaan

quote:

ORIGINAL: MadRabbit

Fast Reply to No One in Particular.

Why people feel the need to interject their own take on "social decenty" and political correctness into what choice of words two people use in the privacy of their own home is beyond me...

Personally, if I am in "humilation and degradation" mode and this particular word fit into your masochism, I would have absolutely no problem calling you a nigger.

You'd have no problem calling a black woman a nigger?

How incredibly decent of you!

Boy, I am glad I came back and read this thread.

I found it kind of funny that up until my post the word had only been referenced in this discussion as the dreaded "N" word.

Oooo...

I was kind of interested to see what would happen if I stirred the pot a little. It turned out to be quite an entertaining read.

I was also wondering who was going to be the first person to take what I was saying in my post and claim I was saying something that I was not.

And it seems we have a winner....

Yep, I have no problem calling a black woman a nigger who consentually wants me to, because it gets her off sexually.

Just like I have no problem calling a woman a slut who consentually wants me to, because it gets her off sexually.

This doesnt automatically equate to me walking up to every black woman on the street and calling her a nigger. Just like I dont walk up to every woman on the street and call her a slut.

Personally, I find the idea of taking something that in a normal context would be derogatory, offensive and racist and turning it into something positive and mutually enjoyable for two consenting parties to be a step away from racism.

I also find your "Your Kink Sux!" posts to be a step towards racism, given that you are adding another layer of paint to the racial lines drawn on the ground with each word.

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RE: White Dom/black sub....afraid of the "N" ... - 11/5/2007 5:32:09 PM

MadRabbit

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Blaakmaan

I could articulate my belief that a black person debasing himself to white person, for whatever reason, has ramifications beyond those two people in that encounter at that moment, but why bother?

I hope you do bother, because after reading all this, I hope there is something more to this then your biased personal opinion.

I would be very interested in reading you articulate what global ramifications will occur when two consenting, intimate partners use the word "nigger" to add a degree of erotic humiliation and mutual pleasure to their sex life in the privacy of their own bedroom.

Maybe the utterance of the cursed word from the mouth of a white man to a black woman in the context of mutual erotic pleasure will cause the ground to split apart, heralding the beginning of a fiery apocalypse?

Maybe a shared psycho-paranormal experience, somewhat on the same level as a mother experiencing a feeling of dread the same instant her daughter is killed in a car accident, but rather where every African American is overcome with feelings of depression and debasement as the word is uttered from the man's lips?

And arguments about social decency when the act in question is happening in a place where society at large is not the audience will give me pause.

For example, its not socially decent to have sex in public. However, sex in the privacy of two people's bedroom isnt an issue of social decency because society isnt around to watch the indecent act.

< Message edited by MadRabbit -- 11/5/2007 5:45:40 PM >

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RE: White Dom/black sub....afraid of the "N" ... - 11/5/2007 5:37:21 PM

RosaB

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quote:

ORIGINAL: laurell3

If you guys are going to throw down and start fighting...can it be naked please?

Now we're talking, getting out the popcorn, no need for binoculars, cause you know what they say.

I'm inf for this gig, naked brothers, you have a captive audience in me. Bring it on.

Rosa
Being as rediculous as boys being boys.

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RE: White Dom/black sub....afraid of the "N" ... - 11/5/2007 5:41:49 PM

MadRabbit

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Blaakmaan

Anyway, whatever they call "slaves" here, they're not quite like real "slaves," which my ancestors (and I suppose your ancestors) were.

You clearly are able to grasp the fact that slave ownership in the kinky erotic context is not the same thing as slavery to determine property by law in the historical context.

Given your own argument and logic, why do you insist on equating use of the word "nigger" in a kinky erotic context as being the same as its use in the context of bigotry, hatred, and racial discrimination?

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RE: White Dom/black sub....afraid of the "N" ... - 11/5/2007 10:21:33 PM

Lordandmaster

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And I actually have a problem with people who think that what other people do in private is any of their business. Haven't we had enough of that already? Darling, you can't suck your lover's dick because that's sodomy. Oh, and you, you can't do anything with the woman you love because she belongs to a different race and that would be miscegenation. Oh, and you two, you can't get married, because you're gay, and God decided that gay people can't marry.

I bet you'd probably agree with ALL of my examples, and yet still insist that using the N-word is "different." Well, it's not different. The only thing that's different is that the word happens to offend YOU personally. "Cunt" and "bitch" are highly offensive to people in the vanilla world (some people, anyway), and we use those words all the time. Do you think I should stop using words like "cunt" and "bitch" in private just because some tight-assed Puritan thinks those words are demeaning? Of course they're demeaning. That's the whole point.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Blaakmaan

I could articulate my belief that a black person debasing himself to white person, for whatever reason, has ramifications beyond those two people in that encounter at that moment, but why bother?

As far as kinks are concerned, "race play" is probably the only kink I have a serious problem with. You can get pissed on, smacked around, led around by the nose and beaten until you're bloody--I really don't give a damn. But when a black person debases himself or herself to a white person, I, personally, have a problem with that. I imagine that, if I were Jewish (which I am not) and another Jew got off on some gentile calling him or her a "Jew bitch" or a "kike" or something equally anti-semitic, racist and degrading, I would have a problem with that, as well!

I think you're debasing more than yourself when you do that.

< Message edited by Lordandmaster -- 11/5/2007 10:22:03 PM >

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RE: White Dom/black sub....afraid of the "N" ... - 11/6/2007 5:25:02 AM

batshalom

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Oh wow. Awesome post, LaM.

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RE: White Dom/black sub....afraid of the "N" ... - 11/6/2007 5:30:55 AM

mnottertail

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Oh my god....... run, Forest, run------the crackers are goin off!!!!!!!!

MizRudolph (ya might have to be a little older to know her).

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RE: White Dom/black sub....afraid of the "N" ... - 11/6/2007 6:18:35 AM

WillowRain

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Don't fret, they are out there. I know one male Dominant that is caucasian and quite fond of race play. He is seriously attracted to mocha women, not much will snap his head around harder that a lovely chocolate girl. He has described some of the play and dynamic that he has had with race play before and I would say this particular person isn't afraid of much and enjoys the whole southern white man, gorgeous black slave play. It's out there. He really loves and enjoys women of all types, and there isn't any actual racism involved that I can see. He enjoys the taboo of the play I think.

I promise you, he'd call you things that would make your eyes bug out of your head and your legs tremble. I know a long term lesbian couple here locally who do some pretty heavy race play as well. Heavy enough that I found it hard to watch. That female Dominant wouldn't bat a lash about using any kind of terminology for her inteligent, dynamic, amazing submissive. :P
Happy searching! They are out there.

quote:

ORIGINAL: biracalsub4wmDom

hiya! :)
alright y'all, I have another question.
i am black...well....1/2 black 1/2 white, but they say "if you have 1 drop.... you black." so...i'm black. lol and i prefer a White Dom. i also enjoy racial humilliation. actually, i enjoy it very much. but it seems like a lot of the Doms i talk to are scared of this.

my question is why? i'm assuming it is because they don't want to come across as a racist. or maybe they have black family, and it is offensive to them. or maybe they are scared of what others will think if they enjoyed such a thing. i guess all of this could be true.

i've been told by white doms that i should work on my self esteem....that i am disrespecting myself by thinking this way. in this lifestyle, you wouldn't tell a woman who loves to be called a slut & a whore that she needs to work on her self esteem. that would be considered HOT...right? so what is the difference?

if you are a White Dom, and it is offensive to you, i am curious to find out why. is it a moral issue? is it a social issue? is it a matter of wanting to be seen as politically correct? is it something where you SAY it makes you uncomfortable, but if you were with someone who enjoyed it, you'd give it a try?

just trying to pick your brains a bit. :)

blessings....

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RE: White Dom/black sub....afraid of the "N" ... - 11/6/2007 6:41:22 AM

Alumbrado

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Blaakmaan

Yes, you got that straight!

That's my opinion of this whole "nigger bitch" (or "nigger bastard," lest I be sexist) mess. And I said so. That's my opinion! That's what posts are for.

You think what you want. Then you post it.

That's what this is.

I could articulate my belief that a black person debasing himself to white person, for whatever reason, has ramifications beyond those two people in that encounter at that moment, but why bother?

As far as kinks are concerned, "race play" is probably the only kink I have a serious problem with. You can get pissed on, smacked around, led around by the nose and beaten until you're bloody--I really don't give a damn. But when a black person debases himself or herself to a white person, I, personally, have a problem with that. I imagine that, if I were Jewish (which I am not) and another Jew got off on some gentile calling him or her a "Jew bitch" or a "kike" or something equally anti-semitic, racist and degrading, I would have a problem with that, as well!

I think you're debasing more than yourself when you do that. That's my opinion. And that's all it has to be.

About "winning" friends on CM, let me say this.

I don't try to disrespect anybody, unless he or she disrespects me.

This, at least for me, is not all about winning friends and influencing people. I didn't come here looking for friends. I have friends.

I'm a black man with strong opinions, especially on racial issues. Anyone who can't deal with that can't deal with me. My racial consciousness is not something I would take off when I sign onto CM so I can "win" friends.

[Hmmm.... Maybe I should add that to the "warning label" on my profile...]

All of that would be much more resonant had you left it at expressing your opinion.

But you chose to denigrate (Yes, pun intended) the OP by ridiculing her kink and herself, in a forum where the house rules clearly state "This isn't a place to insult the kinks, preferences, lifestyles, etc. of others".
Since her kink hasn't crossed the line into any illegality, a simple 'My kink is not your kink' might have communicated your opinion just as well.

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RE: White Dom/black sub....afraid of the "N" ... - 1/5/2008 9:30:42 AM

Marty6944

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I want to state that being called names yes the N words is just that a word/name....it means ignorsnt as long as you know that you are nnot ignorant why get bent out of shape. Yes there is a history behind that but in all honesty we need to move the hell on...black people everyday use the N word like it was water , yet if someone of another race were to use the word black people get bent. If we want to change the way people think lets start in our own house! MEANING EDUCATE THE BLACK RACE FIRST THEN MOVE TO EDUCATING OTHER RACES, as far as I am concerned there are other far more pressing problems going on in the world then what we choose to call one another in the bedroom. I am a black WOMAN, with a white man not because we call each other names but because he treats me as a Queen.

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RE: White Dom/black sub....afraid of the "N" ... - 1/5/2008 2:01:01 PM

SirJohnMandevill

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quote:

ORIGINAL: biracalsub4wmDom

hiya! :)
alright y'all, I have another question.
i am black...well....1/2 black 1/2 white, but they say "if you have 1 drop.... you black." so...i'm black. lol and i prefer a White Dom. i also enjoy racial humilliation. actually, i enjoy it very much. but it seems like a lot of the Doms i talk to are scared of this.

I got solicited for this type of play several weeks ago. It's not that I was "scared." I told the sub I just don't do that, even in play. It's not in me. Period.

Les (Purveyor of Fine, Handcrafted Kink)

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