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Machismo and BDSM - 10/8/2007 5:30:08 PM   
Bobkgin


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From: Kawarthas, Ontario, Canada
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"He stands before the raging spectators, a God in their midst. Machismo and testosterone strewn about him like a train wreck.

"He roars, like a beast, a lion challenging one and all to defy his will and step into the arena.

"A man takes up the challenge. Smaller, lighter of frame and build. Quiet, alert ... focused.

"One bellows as a bull from Hell. The other cocks an eyebrow."







My apologies if my use of archetypes offends you.

I am seriously curious when it comes to machismo, and why some women find it appealing while others find it repulsive.

My parents taught me ethics that would preclude machismo, and I cannot say I miss what I've never had nor truly understood.

But every BDSM forum I've visited includes ample displays of machismo as well as a bevy of women who find it appealing.

And then there are the men and women who are not in any way impressed by it.

Thus I am starting this thread for the purpose of discussing machismo as it relates to BDSM.

_____________________________

When all is said and done, what will you regret?

That you never really lived?

Or there was so much living left to do?

For those interested: pics and poetry have been added to my profile.
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RE: Machismo and BDSM - 10/8/2007 5:47:39 PM   
TNstepsout


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Machismo is a self confident, self assured, poised man is sexy. Machismo is an arrogant, self absorbed, pompous man is disgusting. So, I guess it's not the suit, but the man who wears it.

(in reply to Bobkgin)
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RE: Machismo and BDSM - 10/8/2007 5:58:15 PM   
DiurnalVampire


Posts: 8125
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From: Nashville, TN
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Id agree with TN. It is how a man carrys himself that impresses me. There are some men that can absolutely ooze machismo and yet not shove it down our throats.  If they are self possessed, sexy in that they are not trying to be and confident in that it is who they are and not what they are trying to prove they are... thats hot.
Those who think that putting on machismo, acting the part to impress, and not actually BEING as self confident and together as they act... is just repulsive.  It is one thing to be a real man, and quite another to just try and act like one to impress the ladies.

DV


_____________________________

I will be your Dominate if you will be my submit - Fox

Snarko Ergo Sum
If you cannot change your mind, how are you so sure you still have one? -proverb

*Owner of Fox - collared 10/13/07*
VampiresLair

(in reply to TNstepsout)
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RE: Machismo and BDSM - 10/8/2007 6:02:07 PM   
mistoferin


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I find that generally, the majority of the posturing and grandstanding is done by those who are insecure. Those who actually have "it" don't have to broadcast it.

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Peace and light,
~erin~

There are no victims here...only volunteers.

When you make a habit of playing on the tracks, you thereby forfeit the right to bitch when you get hit by a train.

"I did it! I admit it and I'm gonna do it again!"

(in reply to DiurnalVampire)
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RE: Machismo and BDSM - 10/8/2007 6:06:41 PM   
KnightofMists


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quote:

ORIGINAL: mistoferin

I find that generally, the majority of the posturing and grandstanding is done by those who are insecure. Those who actually have "it" don't have to broadcast it.


** hide's it***

_____________________________

Knight of Mists

An Optimal relationship is achieved when the individuals do what is best for themselves and their relationship.

(in reply to mistoferin)
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RE: Machismo and BDSM - 10/8/2007 6:08:23 PM   
mistoferin


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quote:

ORIGINAL: KnightofMists

quote:

ORIGINAL: mistoferin

I find that generally, the majority of the posturing and grandstanding is done by those who are insecure. Those who actually have "it" don't have to broadcast it.


** hide's it***


Well, you can't really do that either.....cause those that actually have it....ooze it.

_____________________________

Peace and light,
~erin~

There are no victims here...only volunteers.

When you make a habit of playing on the tracks, you thereby forfeit the right to bitch when you get hit by a train.

"I did it! I admit it and I'm gonna do it again!"

(in reply to KnightofMists)
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RE: Machismo and BDSM - 10/8/2007 6:18:34 PM   
camille65


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From: Austin Texas
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Oooooooooooooooze.I like that word.Ooooooooooozzzzzzzzeeee. Bob why do you say that ethics preclude machismo? I don't understand what you mean.

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~Love your life! (It is the only one you'll get).




(in reply to mistoferin)
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RE: Machismo and BDSM - 10/8/2007 6:37:48 PM   
BitaTruble


Posts: 9779
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From: Texas
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quote:

ORIGINAL: TNstepsout

Machismo is a self confident, self assured, poised man is sexy. Machismo is an arrogant, self absorbed, pompous man is disgusting. So, I guess it's not the suit, but the man who wears it.


I love the way you worded this and I agree 100%. I can't think of a single male dominant who posts to these forums who hasn't, at one time or another, exhibited some form of machismo. Sometimes it's the former, sometimes it's the latter, but to my recollection, without exception, it has been present.

Celeste

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"Oh, so it's just like
Rock, paper, scissors."

He laughed. "You are the wisest woman I know."


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RE: Machismo and BDSM - 10/8/2007 6:38:21 PM   
KnightofMists


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quote:

ORIGINAL: mistoferin

Well, you can't really do that either.....cause those that actually have it....ooze it.


oh I like that....  next time a girl calls me "Slimy"... I will respond with...

"NO baby... I am just ooooooooozzzzzzzzingggggg it"

_____________________________

Knight of Mists

An Optimal relationship is achieved when the individuals do what is best for themselves and their relationship.

(in reply to mistoferin)
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RE: Machismo and BDSM - 10/8/2007 6:49:31 PM   
Bobkgin


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From: Kawarthas, Ontario, Canada
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quote:

ORIGINAL: camille65

Bob why do you say that ethics preclude machismo? I don't understand what you mean.


Machismo, as it existed in the world I grew up in, was about men being superior to women. It was about the presumption that it was the male perogative to take what he wanted from women. It was also considered vulgar and rude.

It might help to put it into context to know these discussions were being held in the first half of the 1970s, a time when liberalism and egalitarianism were immensely popular, at least in middle-class suburban Toronto.


_____________________________

When all is said and done, what will you regret?

That you never really lived?

Or there was so much living left to do?

For those interested: pics and poetry have been added to my profile.

(in reply to camille65)
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RE: Machismo and BDSM - 10/8/2007 6:55:38 PM   
Aileen68


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I just absolutely love manly men and testosterone.   Give me machismo and tattoos and I'm all yours.  To me it's confidence and a dominant quality.

Edited to add...whether you like that kind of personality or not is all just a matter of preference.

< Message edited by Aileen68 -- 10/8/2007 6:58:28 PM >

(in reply to Bobkgin)
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RE: Machismo and BDSM - 10/8/2007 6:56:04 PM   
Redoubt


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At the risk of sounding trite... I'd have to say... "Different strokes for different folks".

Just as slutty and obvious (and I mean that in a good way) works for some guys, demure and angelic works for others...

Neither are "bad" - just in the same way that ball gags excite some to pinnacles of orgasmic bliss and outright repel others... I know you're looking for discussion Bob... but, honestly, don't think its much more than that.

(in reply to Bobkgin)
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RE: Machismo and BDSM - 10/8/2007 6:57:12 PM   
Aileen68


Posts: 6091
Joined: 8/2/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Bobkgin


Machismo, as it existed in the world I grew up in, was about men being superior to women. It was about the presumption that it was the male perogative to take what he wanted from women. It was also considered vulgar and rude.


You've just descibed a lot of female fantasies and ways of life here on this message board. 

(in reply to Bobkgin)
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RE: Machismo and BDSM - 10/8/2007 7:11:01 PM   
xolarkinxo


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Machismo is by definition an exaggerated sense of masculinity.  I'd take that over a man displaying effeminate behavior any day.

(in reply to Aileen68)
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RE: Machismo and BDSM - 10/8/2007 7:23:22 PM   
Bobkgin


Posts: 1335
Joined: 7/28/2007
From: Kawarthas, Ontario, Canada
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Aileen68

quote:

ORIGINAL: Bobkgin


Machismo, as it existed in the world I grew up in, was about men being superior to women. It was about the presumption that it was the male perogative to take what he wanted from women. It was also considered vulgar and rude.


You've just descibed a lot of female fantasies and ways of life here on this message board. 


I'm aware of that.

What I do not have is an understanding of why this is so.


_____________________________

When all is said and done, what will you regret?

That you never really lived?

Or there was so much living left to do?

For those interested: pics and poetry have been added to my profile.

(in reply to Aileen68)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: Machismo and BDSM - 10/8/2007 7:28:33 PM   
Bobkgin


Posts: 1335
Joined: 7/28/2007
From: Kawarthas, Ontario, Canada
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Redoubt

At the risk of sounding trite... I'd have to say... "Different strokes for different folks".

Just as slutty and obvious (and I mean that in a good way) works for some guys, demure and angelic works for others...

Neither are "bad" - just in the same way that ball gags excite some to pinnacles of orgasmic bliss and outright repel others... I know you're looking for discussion Bob... but, honestly, don't think its much more than that.


Thank you, Redoubt.

I'm sure at some level this is true. We choose what we choose because we like it.

I'm hoping to get to the reasons why we like it, or not, as the case may be.

Questions that start with "why" are amongst the most educational, and the most enjoyable for me personally. This is one of those kinds of discussions (or at least, so I hope).

_____________________________

When all is said and done, what will you regret?

That you never really lived?

Or there was so much living left to do?

For those interested: pics and poetry have been added to my profile.

(in reply to Redoubt)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: Machismo and BDSM - 10/8/2007 7:30:29 PM   
catize


Posts: 3020
Joined: 3/7/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Bobkgin

quote:

ORIGINAL: Aileen68

quote:

ORIGINAL: Bobkgin


Machismo, as it existed in the world I grew up in, was about men being superior to women. It was about the presumption that it was the male perogative to take what he wanted from women. It was also considered vulgar and rude.


You've just descibed a lot of female fantasies and ways of life here on this message board. 


I'm aware of that.

What I do not have is an understanding of why this is so.



Machismo: an exaggerated sense or display of masculinity, emphasizing characteristics that are conventionally regarded as male; usually physical strength and courage, aggressiveness, and lack of emotional response. 
 
‘nuff said?


_____________________________

"Power is real. But it's a lot less real if it's not perceived as power."
Robert Parker, Stranger in Paradise

(in reply to Bobkgin)
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RE: Machismo and BDSM - 10/8/2007 7:33:43 PM   
Bobkgin


Posts: 1335
Joined: 7/28/2007
From: Kawarthas, Ontario, Canada
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: catize

quote:

ORIGINAL: Bobkgin

quote:

ORIGINAL: Aileen68

quote:

ORIGINAL: Bobkgin


Machismo, as it existed in the world I grew up in, was about men being superior to women. It was about the presumption that it was the male perogative to take what he wanted from women. It was also considered vulgar and rude.


You've just descibed a lot of female fantasies and ways of life here on this message board. 


I'm aware of that.

What I do not have is an understanding of why this is so.



Machismo: an exaggerated sense or display of masculinity, emphasizing characteristics that are conventionally regarded as male; usually physical strength and courage, aggressiveness, and lack of emotional response. 
 
‘nuff said?



I wish

It tells me "what", but not "why".

_____________________________

When all is said and done, what will you regret?

That you never really lived?

Or there was so much living left to do?

For those interested: pics and poetry have been added to my profile.

(in reply to catize)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: Machismo and BDSM - 10/8/2007 7:36:05 PM   
Aileen68


Posts: 6091
Joined: 8/2/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Bobkgin

quote:

ORIGINAL: Aileen68

quote:

ORIGINAL: Bobkgin


Machismo, as it existed in the world I grew up in, was about men being superior to women. It was about the presumption that it was the male perogative to take what he wanted from women. It was also considered vulgar and rude.


You've just descibed a lot of female fantasies and ways of life here on this message board. 


I'm aware of that.

What I do not have is an understanding of why this is so.



I have no clue why certain things attract me and certain things don't.  I really don't.  I can say that my preferences in things are pretty consistent throughout my life.  I tend to think that most people's are. 

(in reply to Bobkgin)
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RE: Machismo and BDSM - 10/8/2007 7:36:56 PM   
MistressDolly


Posts: 917
Joined: 8/24/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Bobkgin

"He stands before the raging spectators, a God in their midst. Machismo and testosterone strewn about him like a train wreck.

"He roars, like a beast, a lion challenging one and all to defy his will and step into the arena.

"A man takes up the challenge. Smaller, lighter of frame and build. Quiet, alert ... focused.

"One bellows as a bull from Hell. The other cocks an eyebrow."





Those are fabulous qualities from a male :) Especially when utilized for the benefit of a Woman. ;)

_____________________________

m i s t r e s s d o l l y . c o m

m y s p a c e


(in reply to Bobkgin)
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