RE: Wannabe subs/slaves pretending to want a Master

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RE: Wannabe subs/slaves pretending to want a Master - 10/16/2007 4:20:32 PM

Posts: 3923
Joined: 3/27/2005
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has anyone pointed out that when you fish in the shallow end of the gene pool you shouldn't expect to reel in mensa canidates?

_____________________________

One thing I know: the only ones among you who will be really happy are those who will have sought and found how to serve. ~Albert Schweitzer

(in reply to meticulousgirl)

RE: Wannabe subs/slaves pretending to want a Master - 10/16/2007 4:29:39 PM

kc692

Posts: 3701
Joined: 3/24/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterA56

I am curious to hear the experiences of other Masters on this site. In the short time I have communicated with potential subs/slaves, I have found 99.9% of them are only "pretending".
As soon as they are faced with actually backing up what they say in their profiles, they either delete their profile or get "cold feet" and stop responding to questions.
Any feedback is appreciated. Thank you!

Sometimes it takes longer than the 5 days you have been on the site...just a thought.

_____________________________

Anyone can overpower; not many can INSPIRE.....

This is only MY opinion. If it's not yours, let's agree in advance to agree to disagree, OR, you can just get the fuck over what I had to say:)

(in reply to MasterA56)

RE: Wannabe subs/slaves pretending to want a Master - 10/16/2007 6:10:58 PM

Posts: 3636
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quote:

ORIGINAL: adoracat

quote:

ORIGINAL: MissMagnolia

He's writing a profile, not a book.

and my profile was roughly 50 words or less....

i've seen some long profiles, and some short ones. just cause i tossed out a few dozen suggestions doesnt mean he needs to take any of them to heart.

kitten, not offended.

I know, I was just teasing. I'm such a cow.

I was prompted to say it because I'd just spent an hour trying to prise info out of a potential slave. Bloody hell men can be hard work!!! Do they think we have a word limit per lifetime and want to save them for a rainy day?

_____________________________

if at first you dont succeed..then skydiving isnt for you

Resident Whip Cracker AND Resident Orbs Of Joy.

(in reply to adoracat)

RE: Wannabe subs/slaves pretending to want a Master - 10/16/2007 7:37:32 PM

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Joined: 1/24/2005
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ummm...

< Message edited by angelic -- 10/16/2007 7:40:22 PM >

_____________________________

~....and once you have tasted flight, you will walk the earth with your eyes turned skyward, for there you have been and there you long to return.~ -- Leonardo de Vinci

(in reply to MasterA56)

RE: Wannabe subs/slaves pretending to want a Master - 10/16/2007 8:07:27 PM

Posts: 63
Joined: 7/24/2007
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There is a huge amount of fantasy in this group. Any one who has been in this group for even a few days recognizes that 97% of the posts are pure wishful scenarios.. You have the 18 year old "Master" who is experienced in EVERY form of BDSM. Yeah, right!
And you have the slave who has found the greatest Master on earth, and she's waiting for his SECOND email.
People are exploring their sexual fantasies. And it's very easy to play a role online. So you can't be surprised when play time is interrupted by reality.
Rick

(in reply to angelic)

RE: Wannabe subs/slaves pretending to want a Master - 10/16/2007 8:31:33 PM

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Joined: 5/5/2005
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If in your profile you can portray this guy that hangs in there despite being flamed and changes his approach based on others concerns/complaints, you should have more success. That guy I would talk to. Remember in the initial phase this is very much like dating vanilla style. There are so many abusive people sending emails on these sites, the initial response to someone that comes on too strong is that they are also one of those. In essence, they are probably rejecting you because you give the impression of being a "fake" yourself.

Don't listen to anyone that tells you that a Dom is one way or another, yourself included. Drop the self-important requirement line of thought and talk to a human being about human things, like you would any human being in any walk of life.

Finally, be VERY PATIENT. Five days is nothing here, five months is nothing here. It takes time, because yes, there are alot of people here that are not compatible or not yet at the point of meeting in person or just plain nuts. None of these things make them "fakes", we're all human.
l

(in reply to labrat18610)

RE: Wannabe subs/slaves pretending to want a Master - 10/17/2007 6:29:20 AM

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Joined: 7/29/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterA56

I am curious to hear the experiences of other Masters on this site. In the short time I have communicated with potential subs/slaves, I have found 99.9% of them are only "pretending".
As soon as they are faced with actually backing up what they say in their profiles, they either delete their profile or get "cold feet" and stop responding to questions.
Any feedback is appreciated. Thank you!

Never had a problem..... So I have to wonder what are you doing differently than I?

_____________________________

Knight of Mists

An Optimal relationship is achieved when the individuals do what is best for themselves and their relationship.

(in reply to MasterA56)

RE: Wannabe subs/slaves pretending to want a Master - 10/17/2007 7:44:04 AM

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Joined: 8/7/2005
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It's possible that they just don't feel comfortable with you, rather than they don't want a master at all. If they go to the extreme of blocking you or deleting their profile, that seems to be a distinct possibility.

< Message edited by hardbodysub -- 10/17/2007 7:46:30 AM >

(in reply to MasterA56)

RE: Wannabe subs/slaves pretending to want a Master - 10/17/2007 8:04:10 AM

Posts: 30
Joined: 10/11/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: laurell3

If in your profile you can portray this guy that hangs in there despite being flamed and changes his approach based on others concerns/complaints, you should have more success. That guy I would talk to. Remember in the initial phase this is very much like dating vanilla style. There are so many abusive people sending emails on these sites, the initial response to someone that comes on too strong is that they are also one of those. In essence, they are probably rejecting you because you give the impression of being a "fake" yourself.

Don't listen to anyone that tells you that a Dom is one way or another, yourself included. Drop the self-important requirement line of thought and talk to a human being about human things, like you would any human being in any walk of life.

Finally, be VERY PATIENT. Five days is nothing here, five months is nothing here. It takes time, because yes, there are alot of people here that are not compatible or not yet at the point of meeting in person or just plain nuts. None of these things make them "fakes", we're all human.
l

I sincerely appreciate all the points you have made here. I do realize things take a lot more time and I do have patience. One of my errors was in not reminding myself of that very fact.

As I mentioned in a previous response to one of the "flames" directed at me, my biggest problem was in taking advice from some people I 'thought' knew what they were talking about. I was wrong. Many of the responses I have received in this forum on this thread have been extremely helpful and appreciated.

Thank you, again, I feel confident that things will improve with changes in my profile and in my approach.

(in reply to laurell3)

RE: Wannabe subs/slaves pretending to want a Master - 10/31/2007 4:53:52 AM

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Give it time. Master and I met here on CM a little over three years ago and we have lived together almost three years. Before that I had a different nick for about two years. So it takes time. Dont be in sucha rush and enjoy the ride

_____________________________

Every story has two sides , much like a coin and neither one is totally perfect.
If it doesn't float your boat, then don't get in the water~!

(in reply to TwistedLady)

RE: Wannabe subs/slaves pretending to want a Master - 10/31/2007 9:31:59 AM

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Joined: 4/15/2005
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A56,

Consider the other side of the coin, their side. Judging from many comments posted in journals, a submissive on this site is literally deluged with offers fro the git go.

I suspect they key into the newbie link and circle overhead like vultures.

That makes them super or hypersensitive and prone to run with an interragatory not to their liking.

CP

(in reply to MasterA56)

RE: Wannabe subs/slaves pretending to want a Master - 10/31/2007 6:08:56 PM

Darthtellectual

Posts: 7
Joined: 3/7/2006
Status: offline

I guess after reading all those posts I should make a comment.

Yes, the fantasy is out there for many. And yes, many of those people are attracted to something anonymous and free like CM. Just part of the territory. Deal with it.
Some time ago I tried a different route. After a few e-mails, I move to phone calls and then to a meet in a nice public place for coffee and smoke. Only after the third such meeting am I confident enough to allow some strange sub (who is no longer a stranger) into my home for an evening of whatever it is that we agreed upon.
Some don't get it. Some ask why it takes so long to get things started. Some don't e-, call or show up. That's fine with me too. Dedication and communication are in my top ten list of things to possess if you want to safely play. Otherwise, al sorts of potential problems arise; and I have better things to do with my time than to waste it on those who are less than honest as to why they are even on CM in the first place.
The faster you identify the 'wantabees' the better off you are. Trust me on this.

Darth

(in reply to CelticPrince)

RE: Wannabe subs/slaves pretending to want a Master - 10/31/2007 7:07:16 PM

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Joined: 4/16/2004
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ok, after the 4th page of the back and forth, I lost patience. LOL

A56, don't demand politeness etc in your profile, talk with em, and if you don't like how they talk, move on. 2nd thing, people love to nit-pick other people to death in these forums for technicalities in wording etc. Do what you want, know what you want, and don't settle for what you don't want. There are a TON of total newbies on here, fortunately some are honest enough to actually say so, it seems to me a lot of people told you that was part of the deal of interacting on CM.

Lastly no one lookin fer the "masterly" type likes whiners. I'm sure your estimation just plumeted in a bunch of potentialsub/slaves eyes. So the best thing is to stop so you don't bury yourself any worse than you are... though after 6+ pages? hmmm, maybe that's already too late. LOL

Well, looked at your profile, and it seems you finally got this stuff and my post is redundant, or you were finally beaten into submission by the nit-pickers. Congrats! you just gained another point of CM experience. LOL

(in reply to toservez)

RE: Wannabe subs/slaves pretending to want a Master - 10/31/2007 9:06:44 PM

SirEbonyPhoenix

Posts: 195
Joined: 8/29/2006
From: My realm in Central Indiana (you guess where :P)
Status: offline

Having been there and done that, the only thing I can suggest is if they aren't serious about what they want in a Master, do the same thing that they do in Hollywood by tellling them: "Next!" Too many times, the trolls, wankers and wannabes mess it up for those of us who are real and as such, they need to be kicked to the curb. Hope this has been helpful to you.

_____________________________

"If it takes one to know one, then you must be one."

(in reply to MasterA56)

RE: Wannabe subs/slaves pretending to want a Master - 11/2/2007 5:45:09 AM

biracalsub4wmDom

Posts: 109
Joined: 7/26/2007
From: Illinois
Status: offline

I wanted to post to this thread again, because I recently had a related experience myself. I had received a msg. from a Dom months ago. I immediately replied, and we began communicating on a regular basis. We got along great, and I thought we were becoming quite good friends. We kept in contact for several months, and things "seemed" to be going quite well with the friendship. Then, one day, I saw him online, sent a msg. and got no response. So, I'm thinking...ok. Strange. So I sent him a Msg. on CM. Per sent msgs., it was read.....but no response. Several weeks later, I happen to see this person online on Yahoo....send a "hello" msg....and he immediately signs off.
I got no, "I'm not interrested any more"....or a...."Sorry, this isn't working"....or..."I've found someone I would like to focus on." or.... a "FUCK YOU!" even. Nothing. Just ignored. And I have no idea why.

This was quite upsetting to me. Not because I was SPRUNG or falling for him, or anything like that, that was not the case. But because it makes you feel like you've wasted your time getting to know this person, and let's admit...you feel like a bit of a fool. At least that's how it makes me feel. And noone wants to be made to feel like a fool.

I think that's basically what the OP was trying to say. Why can't we all just be adults, and take 2 seconds to say "goodbye" instead of vanishing into the vapor?

_____________________________

blessings...

biracialsub

***Please respect that I am OWNED & not seeking a Master. Thank You***

(in reply to SirEbonyPhoenix)

RE: Wannabe subs/slaves pretending to want a Master - 11/2/2007 7:49:06 PM

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Joined: 11/17/2004
From: Washington, DC Metro Area
Status: offline

You should copyright your post and charge others of us who'd like to say exactly the same..lol.

Great post, and "ditto"

cheers
jimini

quote:

ORIGINAL: sweetNsmartBBW

Hi there...I read Your profile, and honestly- I think You are making a bit of a leap here:

"When I approach a potential sub/slave, it is important to establish control immediately. It is up to you, my potential sub/slave, to decide if you do or do not TRULY desire to be collared/owned."

Establishing control ~immediately~? Without trust? Without the sub having any respect for You? Without knowing if You and he are even remotely compatible?

Just because a submissive is not immediately submissive to You, does not mean he is pretending at being a sub. I'm a submissive woman- but only once I enter into a relationship with someone; nobody has ~immediate~ control over me- I'm on equal footing with everyone else until I ~decide~ to surrender my power to another. That decision is one that takes time and a LOT of consideration- as for me this is not a casual thing. My submission as something both valuable and fragile. I only intend to give it to a person that I feel understand it- and who will protect and nourish it.

_____________________________

"And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to bloom."

by A. Nin

When your heart speaks take good notes.

(in reply to sweetNsmartBBW)

RE: Wannabe subs/slaves pretending to want a Master - 11/2/2007 8:18:48 PM

Posts: 224
Joined: 10/1/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: chellekitty

has anyone pointed out that when you fish in the shallow end of the gene pool you shouldn't expect to reel in mensa canidates?

Hey, I'm a member of Mensa ... but then again, so is Sharon Stone, so I feel less *special.*

Respectfully,

Amy

_____________________________

"What the caterpillar calls the end of the world, the Master calls a butterfly." R. Bach in "Illusions"

(in reply to chellekitty)

RE: Wannabe subs/slaves pretending to want a Master - 11/3/2007 9:17:29 AM

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Dear Twisted, I would have to beg to differ with your interpretation of fake. My concept of fake is someone who grabs a canned photo from the net, develops a profile and is only searching for pages of script in which you describe what you are going to do to them or what they want done to them with no real intention of meeting. Anyone with different interests is, simply that. We are just not compatible and I wish that person the best in their search. Everyone should at least try to have some politeness when discovering there is not a match by just saying sorry there is not a match prior to ending a dialogue. Many seem to lack a minimum level of politness/decorum.

While there are quality lifestyle people out there, it can just be frustrating to weed through the fakes or posers. I now have a policy that if I receive a "canned" photo, I must receive a candid non-posed photo within a week of talking and phone confirmation within 2-3 weeks if continuing interest by both parties. Just the photo request has shut down a lot of posers.

I would like to see a system installed similar to Ebay where people get feedback ratings and commentary. While there are always those few who will write derogatory comments over dissimilar goals/viewpoints, you can return a comment on your listing and could place comments on the originators listing (can anyone follow all that?) When there are multiple similar comments being said about someone you have to believe there is truth in what is being said.

It is all a process like anything else in life with its ups and downs. Wishing everyone the best on their search!

Mistress Firerose

(in reply to TwistedLady)

RE: Wannabe subs/slaves pretending to want a Master - 11/3/2007 9:48:01 AM

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Joined: 4/16/2004
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I really liked this post (I only cut the quote down for length's sake) and the perspective spin of it. It's unfortunate though that it's not likely to impact the ones that need to hear it. *shrug*

quote:

ORIGINAL: biracalsub4wmDom

...
I think that's basically what the OP was trying to say. Why can't we all just be adults, and take 2 seconds to say "goodbye" instead of vanishing into the vapor?

(in reply to biracalsub4wmDom)

RE: Wannabe subs/slaves pretending to want a Master - 11/3/2007 1:18:08 PM

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do U have another name on here U sound so familiar...

(in reply to Estring)

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