RE: Wannabe subs/slaves pretending to want a Master

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RE: Wannabe subs/slaves pretending to want a Master - 10/15/2007 12:43:43 PM

Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterA56

Just for clarification, I have NEVER, nor would I EVER ask for any "extra" respect...the same 'ol respect that is doled out to the masses is all I need.

Specifically in your case, thankfully, I don't want or need your particular brand of respect. YIKES!...and BBrrrrrrrrr...kinda cold all of a sudden.

Of course you don't.

The only respect is anyone needs is to respect themselves. I just simply find it interesting that you state you expect respect and also state that it is a core tenet of BDSM that everyone should know when it simply isn't. It may be a core aspect of your local scene that all dominants get automatic respect, but plenty of people don't believe that is the way to go.

Of course, if you just want regular respect that everyone gets, why did you even mention it as a "rule" of BDSM?

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to MasterA56)

RE: Wannabe subs/slaves pretending to want a Master - 10/15/2007 12:46:33 PM

RosesHaveThorns

Posts: 312
Joined: 10/14/2007
Status: offline

1) Masters will not, and should not get respect automatically in my opinion, merely because they haven't earned it. I'm not giving respect to anyone holding a collar and a leash, thank you. If they are a dumbass, I will quite cheerfully say so. You can ask for politeness, because you are a human. Respect, as toservez says, is a very loaded term, especially in a community with an interesting, but extremely hierarchal power dynamic. But for most people, it carries with it a dynamic of power, to respect someone. Most of us do not think of respecting the elderly if one needed help, but that we were being polite.

2) There are NO univeral rules of conduct. Ever. Don't assume that there are, and always be willing to adjust or at least realize that others act differently, or simply don't talk to anyone online. People here are from all sorts of generations, lifestyles, professions, and geographical areas. This is ignoring the fact that there probably isn't much in the way of mainstream BDSM media to really convey universal or widely accepted ways of behavior.

3) I'm not male, but yes, I will agree and say that anyone demanding control right off the bat is indeed quite scary and I would most certainly not want to meet them or be near them. If a guy did that to me, I'd either think the guy was a spambot, a fake, or mentally unstable.

(in reply to toservez)

RE: Wannabe subs/slaves pretending to want a Master - 10/15/2007 12:46:44 PM

Posts: 30
Joined: 10/11/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: toservez

You have to understand that you do not write people in a vacuum. Most who you have written have had the distinct pleasure of being called a fake. Then to go on a message board and write 99.9% on the other side are fake is basically calling everyone a fake that is on here, hence people’s attitudes to this thread.

The problem is when people like you use the word “respect” it is a loaded word. People often use it on the other side as a one way order to try to make the other person talk and consider them. I might point out wanting respect and then calling 99.9% people fake is in itself not very respectful.

I do not know if in your profile or your messages you state let alone harp on the word, but in actual good faith I am telling you to do so is a mistake as the word is a coded word like discrete equals married. When someone writes or puts in their profile about respect for many it is an automatic strike one. Does not matter your intention or definition, our reality is our perception.

Wow! Interesting! Reminds me of: "The whole problem with the world is that fools and fanatics are always so certain of themselves, but wiser people so full of doubts." -- Bertrand Russell

(in reply to toservez)

RE: Wannabe subs/slaves pretending to want a Master - 10/15/2007 12:58:58 PM

Posts: 11
Joined: 9/20/2006
Status: offline

I appreciate the approach that Came4U takes "I owe no more explaination except that it wouldn't workout and goodbye." What bothers me is those individuals who don't even do that, specifically when they initiated the contact.

I don't expect every time someone makes a contact that there will be a "match". A simple thanks, but no thanks goes a long way. Doesn't anyone even follow basic etiquette these days . I would never be that rude to a business or personal contact.

Just my two cents.

Mistress Firerose

(in reply to toservez)

RE: Wannabe subs/slaves pretending to want a Master - 10/15/2007 1:02:16 PM

Posts: 30
Joined: 10/11/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: MsFirerose

I appreciate the approach that Came4U takes "I owe no more explaination except that it wouldn't workout and goodbye." What bothers me is those individuals who don't even do that, specifically when they initiated the contact.

I don't expect every time someone makes a contact that there will be a "match". A simple thanks, but no thanks goes a long way. Doesn't anyone even follow basic etiquette these days . I would never be that rude to a business or personal contact.

Just my two cents.

Mistress Firerose

OH MY GOD!! Thank you!!! This is all I have been trying to say the entire time! A simple 'thanks, but no thanks' is all the RESPECT I am asking for.

Thank you, Mistress Firerose!!!

(in reply to MsFirerose)

RE: Wannabe subs/slaves pretending to want a Master - 10/15/2007 1:07:36 PM

biracalsub4wmDom

Posts: 109
Joined: 7/26/2007
From: Illinois
Status: offline

i try to be respectful to every Dom i speak to, regardless of weather or not there is a connection.
but i've actually been cussed out...called a bitch (and not in a good way)...by Doms when i have politely told them, "i'm sorry, but i don't feel like we are compatable. good luck to you."
and that has happened a LOT.
i was told just the other day...."don't you dare wish me goodluck, you don't mean it."
it is times like that when i think i SHOULD have just cut all contact & not said anything.

_____________________________

blessings...

biracialsub

***Please respect that I am OWNED & not seeking a Master. Thank You***

(in reply to MsFirerose)

RE: Wannabe subs/slaves pretending to want a Master - 10/15/2007 1:17:52 PM

Posts: 1733
Joined: 9/7/2006
From: All over now in Minnesota
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: biracalsub4wmDom

i try to be respectful to every Dom i speak to, regardless of weather or not there is a connection.
but i've actually been cussed out...called a bitch (and not in a good way)...by Doms when i have politely told them, "i'm sorry, but i don't feel like we are compatable. good luck to you."
and that has happened a LOT.
i was told just the other day...."don't you dare wish me goodluck, you don't mean it."
it is times like that when i think i SHOULD have just cut all contact & not said anything.

Exactly this is the type of stuff we get.

Another is if you write and go “I am sorry I do not think we are compatible” and then get a reply back “Then you are a big fake, who should redo your profile because I think we match up perfectly”

As I wrote before respect should be inherently given to everyone regardless of gender and roles on some level but too many on the other side use the word as an order and therefore clouds the meaning of the word.

It is not a right or wrong situation over there but just a reality. No matter what we get “disrespected”. It is just how it is done and learning not to be bothered by it.

_____________________________

I am sorry I do not fit Webster's defintion of a slave but thankfully my Master is not Webster.

"Anything that contradicts experience and logic should be abandoned." - H.H. The 14th Dalai Lama

(in reply to biracalsub4wmDom)

RE: Wannabe subs/slaves pretending to want a Master - 10/15/2007 1:21:53 PM

Posts: 30
Joined: 10/11/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: biracalsub4wmDom

i try to be respectful to every Dom i speak to, regardless of weather or not there is a connection.
but i've actually been cussed out...called a bitch (and not in a good way)...by Doms when i have politely told them, "i'm sorry, but i don't feel like we are compatable. good luck to you."
and that has happened a LOT.
i was told just the other day...."don't you dare wish me goodluck, you don't mean it."
it is times like that when i think i SHOULD have just cut all contact & not said anything.

I am sorry to hear you had those experiences and it is exactly what I have been saying. They were DISRESPECTFUL for treating you that way and no longer deserved any respect from you. That is how it should be. You had no way of knowing, in advance, that they would treat you that way...just chalk it up to life and keep going.

(in reply to biracalsub4wmDom)

RE: Wannabe subs/slaves pretending to want a Master - 10/15/2007 1:57:15 PM

Posts: 3572
Joined: 1/23/2007
From: London, Ontario
Status: offline

quote:

They were DISRESPECTFUL for treating you that way and no longer deserved any respect from you. That is how it should be. You had no way of knowing, in advance, that they would treat you that way...just chalk it up to life and keep going.

That is what we have been trying to tell YOU. lol

(in reply to MasterA56)

RE: Wannabe subs/slaves pretending to want a Master - 10/15/2007 2:06:08 PM

Posts: 183
Joined: 12/23/2006
Status: offline

Fast reply:

I wonder if the argument is getting lost between the symantics of 'affording someone common curtesy' and 'giving someone respect'? Considering that in general they are interchanged and used incorrectly. Secondly it seems it would be wise to suggest that a person could afford another the common curtesy if they are not interested in someone in which they are in contact to state such; seems rather simple to me.

MasterA56 when I read your profile, it was not written with a kids glove in mind. It was forthright which in itself can be intimidating. There might be a more productive way to get the results you are looking for, which obviously you have recognized by removing your profile for a potential rewrite.

Just thoughts with no insult intended.

< Message edited by unsung -- 10/15/2007 2:08:21 PM >

(in reply to MasterA56)

RE: Wannabe subs/slaves pretending to want a Master - 10/15/2007 2:26:21 PM

Posts: 3460
Joined: 8/9/2006
Status: offline

Fast Reply

What did people do with their frustrations and angst before they had Internet forums to vent it out on?

_____________________________

Advice for New Dominants
The Unpolitically Correct Lifestyle Definitions

Obama is NOT the Messiah! He's just a VERY NAUGHTY BOY

(in reply to unsung)

RE: Wannabe subs/slaves pretending to want a Master - 10/15/2007 2:35:55 PM

Posts: 3572
Joined: 1/23/2007
From: London, Ontario
Status: offline

masturbate more??

(in reply to MadRabbit)

RE: Wannabe subs/slaves pretending to want a Master - 10/15/2007 2:36:56 PM

RosesHaveThorns

Posts: 312
Joined: 10/14/2007
Status: offline

Or maybe that's where the large families came in...

(in reply to came4U)

RE: Wannabe subs/slaves pretending to want a Master - 10/15/2007 2:37:16 PM

Posts: 60698
Joined: 11/3/2004
Status: offline

maybe less..........

_____________________________

Have they not divided the prey; to every man a damsel or two? Judges 5:30

(in reply to came4U)

RE: Wannabe subs/slaves pretending to want a Master - 10/15/2007 2:49:47 PM

Posts: 30
Joined: 10/11/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: came4U

quote:

They were DISRESPECTFUL for treating you that way and no longer deserved any respect from you. That is how it should be. You had no way of knowing, in advance, that they would treat you that way...just chalk it up to life and keep going.

That is what we have been trying to tell YOU. lol

Huh, well ain't that interestin'! I coulda swore those were FLAMES lickin' at my feet!

(in reply to came4U)

RE: Wannabe subs/slaves pretending to want a Master - 10/15/2007 3:05:15 PM

Posts: 30
Joined: 10/11/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: unsung

Fast reply:

I wonder if the argument is getting lost between the symantics of 'affording someone common curtesy' and 'giving someone respect'? Considering that in general they are interchanged and used incorrectly. Secondly it seems it would be wise to suggest that a person could afford another the common curtesy if they are not interested in someone in which they are in contact to state such; seems rather simple to me.

MasterA56 when I read your profile, it was not written with a kids glove in mind. It was forthright which in itself can be intimidating. There might be a more productive way to get the results you are looking for, which obviously you have recognized by removing your profile for a potential rewrite.

Just thoughts with no insult intended.

This is one of the best responses of the entire thread and I appreciate your thoughtful comments.

Had I been aware that kid gloves are what a potential sub/slave is expecting, I would have worn kid gloves. Ironically, my personality is exactly that kind of gentle person. I am that kind, caring, loving man who also happens to enjoy dominating my submissive partner. I enjoy many/most of the kinds of dominating behavior that people outside the understanding and like-mindedness of this community would consider 'unnatural' and 'deviant'. Yet, this gentle and loving man was under the (turns out, false), impression that what a potential sub/slave is expecting to hear from a Dom/Master is how he gladly fulfill their desire to be dominated and under his total control - because that is what they seek.

I am so glad to know this!! Thank you!! (Donning the KID GLOVES!!)

(in reply to unsung)

RE: Wannabe subs/slaves pretending to want a Master - 10/15/2007 3:11:08 PM

Posts: 215
Joined: 2/21/2005
Status: offline

Bar fights were the chosen catharsis for some; others sought to be beat in dark alleys, others searched for those in the alleys, others talked up the kinkiest lookin' gals and spent their weekend party fund on her to find out that she's the,,, ahh, never mind
Gentry

quote:

ORIGINAL: MadRabbit

Fast Reply

What did people do with their frustrations and angst before they had Internet forums to vent it out on?

_____________________________

M. Gentry
Doctor of Delicious Deviance
Pope of Perverse Practices
Archbishop of Santorum Production
Duke-in-charge of Dirty Dame's
Intergalactic Hero of Great Renown

(in reply to MadRabbit)

RE: Wannabe subs/slaves pretending to want a Master - 10/15/2007 3:26:35 PM

Posts: 3572
Joined: 1/23/2007
From: London, Ontario
Status: offline

quote:

Huh, well ain't that interestin'! I coulda swore those were FLAMES lickin' at my feet!

Whip it out and piss on em.

or pour on some kerosene.

I said all I can on the subject lol.

(in reply to leatherorlace)

RE: Wannabe subs/slaves pretending to want a Master - 10/15/2007 3:36:10 PM

Posts: 80
Joined: 11/12/2006
Status: offline

Having just experienced Disrespect in the extreme, I can say that just as common sense is no longer common, so it is with etiquette. Alas for the empire!
I had a slave contact me. He seemed great. We chatted, phoned, got to know one another. He said he was quitting his job and moving here. ON MOVING DAY, no contact. Haven't had any since then. That was two weeks ago. He's been on here since. I still have no clue. Extremely rude way to behave. I would have been fine with "I got cold feet. Sorry." Yes, I'd have been upset, but at least I'd have closure.

(in reply to came4U)

RE: Wannabe subs/slaves pretending to want a Master - 10/15/2007 3:36:41 PM

MzMia

Posts: 5333
Joined: 7/30/2004
Status: offline

One thing I noticed is you like them real young.

I hope you are not scaring the poor young things!
Young and dumb and full of ?
Why do you like them so young?

_____________________________

Namaste'
To Each His/Her Own
"DENIAL ain't just a river in Egypt." Mark Twain

What's your favorite fetish?
"My partner's whisper"--bloomswell

(in reply to MasterA56)

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