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RE: Wannabe subs/slaves pretending to want a Master - 10/15/2007 3:46:35 PM

MasterA56

Posts: 30
Joined: 10/11/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: MzMia

One thing I noticed is you like them real young.

I hope you are not scaring the poor young things!
Young and dumb and full of ?
Why do you like them so young?

I have spent YEARS and mountains of money worth of psychoanalysis trying to figure out why I like them young...because it has caused me endless disappointment and heartache. It is the same reason I like them MALE....I just DO! LOL!

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RE: Wannabe subs/slaves pretending to want a Master - 10/15/2007 3:49:52 PM

MzMia

Posts: 5333
Joined: 7/30/2004
Status: offline

You are a great sport.
I was teasing you, and you took it very well.

We all are attracted to and like what we like.
Take your time, be patient, you will find your heart's desire,
eventually.
This was a great topic, I hope to see you post many more.

_____________________________

Namaste'
To Each His/Her Own
"DENIAL ain't just a river in Egypt." Mark Twain

What's your favorite fetish?
"My partner's whisper"--bloomswell

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RE: Wannabe subs/slaves pretending to want a Master - 10/15/2007 3:55:49 PM

Viridana

Posts: 754
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: MsFirerose

A simple thanks, but no thanks goes a long way. Doesn't anyone even follow basic etiquette these days .

Now I'm gonna introduce the other side of the equation. In 99,9% of the times I respectfully decline, by saying thanks but no thanks, I get an email back demanding an thourough explanation as to why along with a flow of obsanities towards me. I know I'm not the only one who've had this problem and it get's tireing after a short while. Hence, it's just easier to not reply.

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RE: Wannabe subs/slaves pretending to want a Master - 10/15/2007 5:06:24 PM

MadRabbit

Posts: 3460
Joined: 8/9/2006
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quote:

ORIGINAL: leatherorlace

Bar fights were the chosen catharsis for some; others sought to be beat in dark alleys, others searched for those in the alleys, others talked up the kinkiest lookin' gals and spent their weekend party fund on her to find out that she's the,,, ahh, never mind
Gentry

quote:

ORIGINAL: MadRabbit

Fast Reply

What did people do with their frustrations and angst before they had Internet forums to vent it out on?

*shrugs*

I just do bad things to women

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RE: Wannabe subs/slaves pretending to want a Master - 10/15/2007 6:27:13 PM

KatyLied

Posts: 13029
Joined: 2/24/2005
From: Pennsylvania
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quote:

A simple thanks, but no thanks goes a long way. Doesn't anyone even follow basic etiquette these days .

I don't. And here are some reasons why: some doms get obnoxious when you reject them. Evidently a rejection of "no thanks" is more than they can take fron an on-line encounter. They continue to email and beg...please meet me for coffee, why don't you like me, you aren't *real*, etc. I don't like to put up with that nonsense. I figure if they have half a brain, they will understand that no response = no interest.

_____________________________

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RE: Wannabe subs/slaves pretending to want a Master - 10/15/2007 6:42:33 PM

PryderiLoup

Posts: 90
Joined: 9/8/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: MadRabbit

Fast Reply

What did people do with their frustrations and angst before they had Internet forums to vent it out on?

Got into bar fights?

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RE: Wannabe subs/slaves pretending to want a Master - 10/15/2007 6:44:16 PM

PryderiLoup

Posts: 90
Joined: 9/8/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: MadRabbit

quote:

ORIGINAL: leatherorlace

Bar fights were the chosen catharsis for some; others sought to be beat in dark alleys, others searched for those in the alleys, others talked up the kinkiest lookin' gals and spent their weekend party fund on her to find out that she's the,,, ahh, never mind
Gentry

quote:

ORIGINAL: MadRabbit

Fast Reply

What did people do with their frustrations and angst before they had Internet forums to vent it out on?

*shrugs*

I just do bad things to women

Opps, I did not see this.

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RE: Wannabe subs/slaves pretending to want a Master - 10/15/2007 6:48:02 PM

WinsomeDefiance

Posts: 6719
Joined: 8/7/2007
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I honestly haven't had a problem with anyone who has messaged me being rude. When I've declined further correspondence, I've usually received a 'thank you for the response' back and that was that. Most of the people I've come across have been very nice, polite and otherwise pretty decent.

There's only been one real disappointment - someone I'd talked to at length for a couple weeks on the phone, but when things went badly for him in his life he decided sever communications. It wasn't that he was fake, or wasn't real. Just didn't work out, no matter how much I had wanted it to.

I understand the frustration and how disheartening it can be to want something very badly only to face numerous disappointments in the search, but I don't understand posting that 99.9% of all those I'm looking for are fakes or wannabes. I think that's a bit counter-productive. When I keep getting the same undesirable response from people, I tend to rethink my approach. After all, isn't the definition of insanity "doing the same thing over and over again, while expecting different results?" If your approach isn't working, modify it. Good luck!

(in reply to KatyLied)

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RE: Wannabe subs/slaves pretending to want a Master - 10/15/2007 6:50:29 PM

Celeste43

Posts: 3066
Joined: 2/4/2006
From: NYS
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quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterA56

quote:

ORIGINAL: unsung

Fast reply:

I wonder if the argument is getting lost between the symantics of 'affording someone common curtesy' and 'giving someone respect'? Considering that in general they are interchanged and used incorrectly. Secondly it seems it would be wise to suggest that a person could afford another the common curtesy if they are not interested in someone in which they are in contact to state such; seems rather simple to me.

MasterA56 when I read your profile, it was not written with a kids glove in mind. It was forthright which in itself can be intimidating. There might be a more productive way to get the results you are looking for, which obviously you have recognized by removing your profile for a potential rewrite.

Just thoughts with no insult intended.

This is one of the best responses of the entire thread and I appreciate your thoughtful comments.

Had I been aware that kid gloves are what a potential sub/slave is expecting, I would have worn kid gloves. Ironically, my personality is exactly that kind of gentle person. I am that kind, caring, loving man who also happens to enjoy dominating my submissive partner. I enjoy many/most of the kinds of dominating behavior that people outside the understanding and like-mindedness of this community would consider 'unnatural' and 'deviant'. Yet, this gentle and loving man was under the (turns out, false), impression that what a potential sub/slave is expecting to hear from a Dom/Master is how he gladly fulfill their desire to be dominated and under his total control - because that is what they seek.

I am so glad to know this!! Thank you!! (Donning the KID GLOVES!!)

If I'm reading this right, you deliberately wrote a profile that misrepresents who you are. And then when you get into conversation with possible subs, they discover almost immediately that the profile that attracted them was a fake.

So you're calling them fake for seeing through your fake profile?

Write a profile not to attract anyone, but to reflect who you are. Because you don't want just anyone, you want somebody who wants you just as you are. But the way you've done it now, is convince the people who really do like a gentle and loving dom that they are not ever going to be compatible with you. And worse, you're attracting only people who don't want a gentle and loving dom. And then, to make it worse, the moment they think they like this blunt, hard male they discover he really isn't anything like that. And you're surprised they stopped talking to you?

You created the results you didn't want. Now go create the results you do want. And you don't get that by lying.

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RE: Wannabe subs/slaves pretending to want a Master - 10/15/2007 8:48:28 PM

MasterA56

Posts: 30
Joined: 10/11/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Celeste43

This is one of the best responses of the entire thread and I appreciate your thoughtful comments.

Had I been aware that kid gloves are what a potential sub/slave is expecting, I would have worn kid gloves. Ironically, my personality is exactly that kind of gentle person. I am that kind, caring, loving man who also happens to enjoy dominating my submissive partner. I enjoy many/most of the kinds of dominating behavior that people outside the understanding and like-mindedness of this community would consider 'unnatural' and 'deviant'. Yet, this gentle and loving man was under the (turns out, false), impression that what a potential sub/slave is expecting to hear from a Dom/Master is how he gladly fulfill their desire to be dominated and under his total control - because that is what they seek.

I am so glad to know this!! Thank you!! (Donning the KID GLOVES!!)

If I'm reading this right, you deliberately wrote a profile that misrepresents who you are. And then when you get into conversation with possible subs, they discover almost immediately that the profile that attracted them was a fake.

So you're calling them fake for seeing through your fake profile?

Write a profile not to attract anyone, but to reflect who you are. Because you don't want just anyone, you want somebody who wants you just as you are. But the way you've done it now, is convince the people who really do like a gentle and loving dom that they are not ever going to be compatible with you. And worse, you're attracting only people who don't want a gentle and loving dom. And then, to make it worse, the moment they think they like this blunt, hard male they discover he really isn't anything like that. And you're surprised they stopped talking to you?

You created the results you didn't want. Now go create the results you do want. And you don't get that by lying.

You are NOT reading it right. What I wrote in my profile was from a Dom/Master perspective which I was led to believe (again, if you go back and read the entire thread you will see how all of this progressed), is what a potential sub/slave is expecting to hear. It was NEVER intended to be intentionally fraudulent in any way, shape or form. It was one aspect of who I am and it was for INITIAL contact...to get the conversation started. I always explain myself and talk about every aspect of my personality and character if the conversation gets past more than ONE or TWO messages. These did not. That is the point. There was NO conversation to even intimate what I might really be about. Whatever impression they got was from my profile and the first message I initiated or the first message THEY initiated...and then the communications ended.

I have since removed any potentially 'brutish' or offending portions of my profile and am currently re-working what I am going to write...with KID GLOVES.

I do not misrepresent myself, I do not lie, I do not fabricate. There is absolutely NO POINT in not telling the truth, especially if (as in my case), one intends to actually MEET and establish a long-term relationship. I appreciate you taking the time to comment, but you are completely off with regard to what transpired and your advice is not relevant to my particular situation.

< Message edited by MasterA56 -- 10/15/2007 8:49:21 PM >

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RE: Wannabe subs/slaves pretending to want a Master - 10/16/2007 2:18:06 AM

SeeksOnlyOne

Posts: 2012
Joined: 5/14/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterA56

Yes, before I get flamed....I realize my comment was mis-written.

I should have written:

This is why there is so much hatred and anger in the world. Because there are MANY people who have NO RESPECT for others!

i think, perhaps, you are confusing respect and common courtesy......

_____________________________

it aint no good til it hurts just a little bit....jimmy somerville

in those moments of solitude, does everyone sometimes think they are insane? or is it just me?

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RE: Wannabe subs/slaves pretending to want a Master - 10/16/2007 3:08:30 AM

BitaTruble

Posts: 9779
Joined: 1/12/2006
From: Texas
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterA56

I am curious to hear the experiences of other Masters on this site. In the short time I have communicated with potential subs/slaves, I have found 99.9% of them are only "pretending".
As soon as they are faced with actually backing up what they say in their profiles, they either delete their profile or get "cold feet" and stop responding to questions.
Any feedback is appreciated. Thank you!

I've read through the entire thread and I'm going to take you at your word that 'any feedback' is appreciated.

First off, I have no idea how many you've contacted in the last 4 days, but if it's more than about 10, that's too many. Be more selective in whom you are contacting and keep your radar tuned in to what, exactly, you're seeking. No one wants to feel like they're part of a cattle call. If you've contacted less than 10 and none of them were a go, well, that's part of the process of seeking.

Compatibility is much harder to come by in the smaller pond of the BDSM world than out in 'nillaland, so keep that in mind as you continue searching. If you kiss 100 frogs before you find the one turns into that prince of a sub, you'll be doing better than a whole lot of others who have to kiss 1000 of them.

Be a bit more patient and realize that at your age, what you're looking for is going to be a bit more difficult to locate. Not only do you like them young.. you have to find a young 'un who likes them older. You're dealing with folks who are very young, some barely of adult status, so are you really wondering why they aren't cock sure of themselves, stable and secure in their person? Some are, most aren't. You've been running into the 'most aren't' people.

Also, in one of your posts you made reference to something which struck me as odd given that you've listed yourself as an 'expert' in several BDSM areas. You said something along the lines that you were 'led to believe' thats what submissives wanted to hear. Well, who 'led you to believe that' because if you're going to list yourself as an expert, it seems to me that you'd have enough real time experience to earn that expertise and you'd have some ideas of your own and not have to be led to believe anything regarding the bottom half of the BDSM world. That sort of ambiguity is a red flag to a lot of folks. You have to realize as well, that you've now put forth a lot of information in your posts that anyone can go read by linking through from your profile. How you come across is going to effect what potentials think of you, so take some care in how you present yourself. Flying off the handle a few times at some 'cyber' folks isn't all that mature. Just something to think about.

I've met several people from this site and with a single exception, they've all been exactly as they came across. I'm very selective in who I write to and who I choose to meet though. Also, all my first meets are done in public and at places that I'm going to go anyway. If they don't show, I do whatever the activity was that I had planned and have myself some fun. If they do, and we click, great. If we don't click, I still have my fun by the activity I had planned.

Online search is only 'one' of your options. You have others. Local groups/munches, whatever is going on in your area can be taken advantage of if you have the desire to do so. Additionally, there are multitudes of national BDSM venues where you can search for folks and perhaps take a few classes and learn somethings in the meantime.

Mostly though, just be patient. I often advice submissives to behave as though they are already serving the Master whom they seek. The submissive you want will be attracted to the Master you are, so be the kind of Master that submissive will desire.

Good luck,

Celeste

_____________________________

"Oh, so it's just like
Rock, paper, scissors."

He laughed. "You are the wisest woman I know."

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RE: Wannabe subs/slaves pretending to want a Master - 10/16/2007 3:44:11 AM

adoracat

Posts: 1779
Joined: 2/16/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterA56

TRUST is earned.

RESPECT is a given...always...universally...for everyone!!

This is why the world is so full of hatred and anger. Because NO ONE has RESPECT for anyone.

Everyone has RESPECT for an elderly person walking down the street, whether they know them or not. A person doesn't stop an elderly person on the street and say, "You must EARN my respect!"

I respect any potential sub/slave that I initiate contact with or has initiated contact with me. This is part of the GOLDEN RULE!

gently disagreeing with you here...... the golden rule goes "do unto others as you would have them do unto you."

i dont repect everyone. not everyone deserves it. everyone deserves to be treated with courtesy until they prove they're just some J Random Asshole who doesnt deserve it, and that's what i do.

kitten, who grumps about this early in the am....

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RE: Wannabe subs/slaves pretending to want a Master - 10/16/2007 4:01:48 AM

adoracat

Posts: 1779
Joined: 2/16/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterA56

Had I been aware that kid gloves are what a potential sub/slave is expecting, I would have worn kid gloves. Ironically, my personality is exactly that kind of gentle person. I am that kind, caring, loving man who also happens to enjoy dominating my submissive partner. I enjoy many/most of the kinds of dominating behavior that people outside the understanding and like-mindedness of this community would consider 'unnatural' and 'deviant'. Yet, this gentle and loving man was under the (turns out, false), impression that what a potential sub/slave is expecting to hear from a Dom/Master is how he gladly fulfill their desire to be dominated and under his total control - because that is what they seek.

I am so glad to know this!! Thank you!! (Donning the KID GLOVES!!)

MasterA...

not every submissive/slave wishes to be trampled underfoot. nor does every s-type wish to be micromanaged and be under their dominant's total control. seriously. and believe it or not, YOUR wants/needs/wishes are absolutely to be taken into consideration also.

in your profile, put who you are. what you know, what you're capable of doing/providing. what type of relationship you are looking for, are you wanting to be "strictly business" on your BDSM, or do you want a loving relationship with your s-type? do you prefer an all-round sub, or only a service sub? sex required? are you wanting to move towards 24/7? do you collar, or not?

*THOSE* are the things that a potential s-type is interested in learning about you and your dominantion style. those are the things that i was interested in learning about a potential dominant before i met Daddy.

kitten, thoughtfully

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RE: Wannabe subs/slaves pretending to want a Master - 10/16/2007 4:04:35 AM

MissMagnolia

Posts: 3636
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He's writing a profile, not a book.

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RE: Wannabe subs/slaves pretending to want a Master - 10/16/2007 4:15:43 AM

adoracat

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quote:

ORIGINAL: MissMagnolia

He's writing a profile, not a book.

and my profile was roughly 50 words or less....

i've seen some long profiles, and some short ones. just cause i tossed out a few dozen suggestions doesnt mean he needs to take any of them to heart.

kitten, not offended.

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RE: Wannabe subs/slaves pretending to want a Master - 10/16/2007 5:58:58 AM

Celeste43

Posts: 3066
Joined: 2/4/2006
From: NYS
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quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterA56

You are NOT reading it right. What I wrote in my profile was from a Dom/Master perspective which I was led to believe (again, if you go back and read the entire thread you will see how all of this progressed), is what a potential sub/slave is expecting to hear. It was NEVER intended to be intentionally fraudulent in any way, shape or form. It was one aspect of who I am and it was for INITIAL contact...to get the conversation started. I always explain myself and talk about every aspect of my personality and character if the conversation gets past more than ONE or TWO messages. These did not. That is the point. There was NO conversation to even intimate what I might really be about. Whatever impression they got was from my profile and the first message I initiated or the first message THEY initiated...and then the communications ended.

I have since removed any potentially 'brutish' or offending portions of my profile and am currently re-working what I am going to write...with KID GLOVES.

I do not misrepresent myself, I do not lie, I do not fabricate. There is absolutely NO POINT in not telling the truth, especially if (as in my case), one intends to actually MEET and establish a long-term relationship. I appreciate you taking the time to comment, but you are completely off with regard to what transpired and your advice is not relevant to my particular situation.

Sorry but again you admit that you wrote a profile designed to focus on brutish elements even though that doesn't represent who you are. That's lying in my book. Deliberate misrepresentation if that salves your wounded ego. So you deliberately presented a persona that doesn't reflect who you are and you object to being told that you have done what you complain about others? Sorry, that doesn't wash.

But go on lying to people and see how far it gets you. So far it hasn't been too effective.

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RE: Wannabe subs/slaves pretending to want a Master - 10/16/2007 7:16:29 AM

MasterA56

Posts: 30
Joined: 10/11/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Celeste43

Sorry but again you admit that you wrote a profile designed to focus on brutish elements even though that doesn't represent who you are. That's lying in my book. Deliberate misrepresentation if that salves your wounded ego. So you deliberately presented a persona that doesn't reflect who you are and you object to being told that you have done what you complain about others? Sorry, that doesn't wash.

But go on lying to people and see how far it gets you. So far it hasn't been too effective.

My goodness, but aren't you the persistent one! If you READ what I wrote, you will note that it states "potentially brutish" - because of some of the comments I received on this thread mentioned it as a "possible" reason. There is no admission of my intentionally writing something "brutish" on my profile, because there was NO INTENT to write something that might be construed as "brutish". I decided to modify my profile based on some of the advice and CONSTRUCTIVE criticism I received from well-intentioned responders to my original question.

You have a boat-load of "advice" for someone you don't know anything about. I don't need your kind of "salve"...I don't live by your "book"...and you should be cautious about accusing someone of LYING...especially if you intended CONSTRUCTIVE criticism.

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RE: Wannabe subs/slaves pretending to want a Master - 10/16/2007 7:25:25 AM

Kana

Posts: 6674
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Yawn

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RE: Wannabe subs/slaves pretending to want a Master - 10/16/2007 9:28:09 AM

meticulousgirl

Posts: 969
Joined: 2/20/2007
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for some reason in all catagories this seems to be the case, you can talk to someone but mainly everything they say comes out to be a lie, it's not just you it's 99.9 percent of the people on these sites that go through it.

my advice, just hold out until you find the right one, anyone else wouldn't necessarily be a waste of time but i can find much better things to do than serve someone who really doesn't care about me.....not in the romantic sense necessarily but as a person. i found it (not here) and i'm happy.

~meticulous~

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