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RE: Dominas all looking for the exact same guy. - 10/27/2007 2:21:58 PM

Posts: 79
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How could I have missed this thread? It's so damn hilarious! To the OP - you should read more profiles. Stop generalizing all of us Dominas/Dommes/Mistresses or whatever you choose to call us. Everyone is different even if we have a few likes that overlap.

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(in reply to RaynaSub)

RE: Dominas all looking for the exact same guy. - 10/27/2007 2:29:29 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: RaynaSub

quote:

ORIGINAL: Petronius

Lots of people, Dom and sub both, have their dungeons located in NeverNeverLand.

I agree with Petronius on this one.
Reality is not what many people seek around here.

you got that right!.....unfortunately

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(in reply to RaynaSub)

RE: Dominas all looking for the exact same guy. - 10/27/2007 2:31:25 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: TNstepsout

You know, that's not even a very clever flame. Far too obvious. You need to learn to be more subtle.

Try again, I think you can do better.

oh stop TNstepsout....we aren't supposed to notice.....ssssshhhhhhhh....lol

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RE: Dominas all looking for the exact same guy. - 10/27/2007 3:12:51 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: RaynaSub

TheReason, does have a right to his opinion.
It may not be the way most of us think, but so what?

I find it interesting, how many women are getting their panties in a bunch.
IF what he is saying does not pertain to them and/or is rubbish.

Me thinks thou doth protest a bit too much, here.

I don't have any issue with the OP (of course I don't, because I am one of the women that found "that guy" and married him, lol). I just think it's comical when people feel the need to create a new profile because they don't have the balls to state their opinion (if that's the truth - just as silly as the sock puppet theory, both are pretty lame.)

Akasha
(who has always had one profile to post on)

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(in reply to RaynaSub)

RE: Dominas all looking for the exact same guy. - 10/27/2007 3:19:32 PM

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I agree, but technically there is no rule book stating that people
can't create new profiles to state their opinions.

It may not be what you would do, but we are all free to do as we like on here.
We are free to do good things, bad things, and things others may not agree with.
It does not bother me, if someone wants to create a new profile every day to state
a new opinion.
It is their right and not much of my concern.

(in reply to AAkasha)

RE: Dominas all looking for the exact same guy. - 10/27/2007 3:19:46 PM

RosesHaveThorns

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Agreed. Is it really a statement you can stand behind if you can't let the people who are interested in you knowing about it? And if they are going to be turned off from a forum post, it probably wasn't going to work anyway

(in reply to MadameMarque)

RE: Dominas all looking for the exact same guy. - 10/27/2007 3:41:57 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: HarryVanWinkle

Having read hundreds of profiles belonging to dominant women here, it seems like half of them have been copied and pasted from one another.

They seek a guy who’s handsome, healthy and successful in vanilla life, yet is absolutely submissive behind closed doors.

He will dedicate his body, mind and soul to her pleasure, comfort and happiness and make absolutely no demands, have no expectations, no specific desires of his own. Yet he’s not a doormat.

He’s strong, secure in himself, intelligent and has a sense of humor, yet is not a SAM and he knows his place at her feet. And he never "tops from the bottom."

He’s able and eager to support her in the lifestyle to which she is or wishes to become accustomed. He has pictures on his profile, or sends them in his first letter, even though many of them don’t. He writes a detailed, non copy/pasted letter of introduction to each domina he contacts, even though most of them never respond. He never mentions what his kinks are in this letter, because he knows it’s “all about her” even though he has no clue as to what hers are from her profile. Where he finds the time to do this while being successful and driven in his business life, I don’t know.

I hate to be the one to tell you this, Ladies, but of all the submissive men I know, only one even comes close to this. And he’s already taken.

Does this mean somewhere there is a guy with just that profile who's inundated with domme messages all the time?

(in reply to HarryVanWinkle)

RE: Dominas all looking for the exact same guy. - 10/27/2007 3:43:51 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: RaynaSub

TheReason, does have a right to his opinion.
It may not be the way most of us think, but so what?

I find it interesting, how many women are getting their panties in a bunch.
IF what he is saying does not pertain to them and/or is rubbish.

Me thinks thou doth protest a bit too much, here.

Well, my panties aren't bunched. I thought it was pretty silly.

However, I also must add that I don't quite follow your logic. You are saying that if one is offended by something someone says, and you respond to it, then what they said MUST be true? So basically whoever says something first must be right?

I'll have to remember that. It could come in handy.

(in reply to RaynaSub)

RE: Dominas all looking for the exact same guy. - 10/27/2007 7:54:43 PM

ModeratorEleven

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Foks, please keep in mind that creating alternate accounts from which to flame or attack other users will not be tolerated here. If it persists, all of the accounts belonging to said individuals will be removed. If you can't say it from your normal account, perhaps it's best to not say it at all.

XI

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(in reply to TNstepsout)

RE: Dominas all looking for the exact same guy. - 10/27/2007 9:18:55 PM

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Not only have you set yourself up as a ripe target, but very few here will concede there is any truth to what you say.

The mission of a malesub is a difficult one. That is our glory. Keep your soul and spirit intact. Others see you as bitter, but I just see you pointing out some rather obvious ironies that exist in plain view.

You can't change the landscape, all you can do is traverse it. Keep the faith and may the ironies cause you secret joy instead of pain.

Remember, unrealistic expectations are their own punishment. The world takes care of that for us.

(in reply to HarryVanWinkle)

RE: Dominas all looking for the exact same guy. - 10/27/2007 9:32:23 PM

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Hey if generalizing, than feeling righteous about said generalization gives you comfort, who are we to take it away?
The other thing is, who is anyone to measure another's worth, and decide that they are worth the currency they seek? Remember one man's (or woman's) trash... M

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"Love is the only sane and satisfactory answer to the problem of human existence." Erich Fromm

(in reply to cloudboy)

RE: Dominas all looking for the exact same guy. - 10/28/2007 4:44:50 AM

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I think more than anything, he was trying to tell people how he feels. More than anyone else who responded to him, I get the strong feeling he really wishes he was wrong.

His post, though, isn't the kind that flies well in this forum. Many times I have plowed the unrealistic expectations theme here in relation to femdoms, and all I'll tell you its a rough crowd. Replies usually include names, derisive remarks, character assasination, and a categorical dismissal of one's POV.

Threads that run a better course tend to be specific, personal, and positive. But, things would be boring if that's all we had here, and moderator eleven wouldn't have a volunteer job either.

Besides, how can anyone get all up-in-arms over a guy named HARRYVANWINKLE? Clearly such a bloke isn't taking himself too seriously.

< Message edited by cloudboy -- 10/28/2007 4:52:49 AM >

(in reply to FullfigRIMaam)

RE: Dominas all looking for the exact same guy. - 10/28/2007 6:40:53 AM

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Joined: 8/3/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: cloudboy

I think more than anything, he was trying to tell people how he feels. More than anyone else who responded to him, I get the strong feeling he really wishes he was wrong.

His post, though, isn't the kind that flies well in this forum. Many times I have plowed the unrealistic expectations theme here in relation to femdoms, and all I'll tell you its a rough crowd. Replies usually include names, derisive remarks, character assasination, and a categorical dismissal of one's POV.

Threads that run a better course tend to be specific, personal, and positive. But, things would be boring if that's all we had here, and moderator eleven wouldn't have a volunteer job either.

Besides, how can anyone get all up-in-arms over a guy named HARRYVANWINKLE? Clearly such a bloke isn't taking himself too seriously.

Well I can understand where you might get the impression that most Dommes are that way if you have read several profiles that make the kind of statements the OP refers to, but in all honesty, NONE of that is anywhere in my profile. Not even close. So I don't appreciate being painted with that brush.

Are ALL Muslims terrorists? Are ALL blacks gangsters? Are ALL Americans War Mongers?

Generalizations are a lazy way of dealing with a problem. It takes responsibility away from oneself. If you have been following my posts you know I've had some trouble with subs who don't show up. But let's not stop there, I previously had a number of Doms disappear on me as well. I could therefore state that ALL men are DOGS! And from my perspective they would be. But what would I learn from that. Obviously there is something I'm doing wrong if this is happening over and over and over again. I've no idea what it is, but I'm damn well going to figure it out! That's empowerment.

So if you are encountering unrealistic Dommes ask yourself why. Is there something about this type that you find attractive? Are you overlooking the less demanding and more down to earth type? Are you perhaps assuming you are not good enough for what they seek due to your own insecurities?

(in reply to cloudboy)

RE: Dominas all looking for the exact same guy. - 10/28/2007 11:05:59 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: cloudboy
I think more than anything, he was trying to tell people how he feels. More than anyone else who responded to him, I get the strong feeling he really wishes he was wrong.

His post, though, isn't the kind that flies well in this forum. Many times I have plowed the unrealistic expectations theme here in relation to femdoms, and all I'll tell you its a rough crowd. Replies usually include names, derisive remarks, character assasination, and a categorical dismissal of one's POV.

Bingo, Cloudboy! I'm amazed by how many have locked onto one poorly chosen word (all) in the subject line and totally disregarded the "it seems like half of them" in the very first sentence.

It's kind of funny, most of the dominas who have responded to this thread have reacted as if I meant it as a personal insult to them, even though most of their profiles are clearly NOT among those I was writing about.

For making an observation about SOME of the profiles on this site, while naming no names, I have been bitterly accused of bitterness, of having a chip on my shoulder, of blowing my own horn (no, I most certainly am NOT that one taken guy I wrote of,) of hating all women, of having a comeback for everything, of having a point of view not worthy of consideration. I've been flamed by one so proud of his opinion he's not even willing to use his "true" profile, had conclusions made about my personality and life by people who know almost nothing about me and been not so courteously invited to "to get the hell out of here."

I'll say this. Shooting the messenger because you don't like the message is not an indicator of an open mind.

(in reply to cloudboy)

RE: Dominas all looking for the exact same guy. - 10/28/2007 1:40:01 PM

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OK. Let's say for the sake of arguement that the OP is correct. Suppose many of the Dommes that are currently looking want to find someone intelligent, financially stable, age compatible, sense of humor, and the other mixed bag of qualities and character traits mentioned. I guess My question to the OP is, what is the problem with this?

I don't agree for a minute that the pool of submissives that have the prefered qualities is that small. Quite the contrary. I think it's more that the opposite is true. There are more than enough submissives who actually do fit the bill of what Dommes are looking for. That is the reason that those who can't live up to those standards complain about not being able to find a Domme. We know they are out there. Many of them frequent this board (see the related thread that was mentioned in another post) so We as Dominant women have no doubt in their existance.

If anyone is seeking their match, why shouldn't they want to find what they are looking for? It seems pretty reasonable to Me. Especially when We know they are out there.

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(in reply to HarryVanWinkle)

RE: Dominas all looking for the exact same guy. - 10/28/2007 3:22:50 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: HarryVanWinkle

Bingo, Cloudboy! I'm amazed by how many have locked onto one poorly chosen word (all) in the subject line and totally disregarded the "it seems like half of them" in the very first sentence.

I don't know why you are amazed by it. It's the title of your post.

(in reply to HarryVanWinkle)

RE: Dominas all looking for the exact same guy. - 10/28/2007 3:55:49 PM

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Joined: 10/14/2007
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Why is it men can be selective in what they want in thier search but a domina does the same and she has to deal with stuff like this?

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(in reply to TNstepsout)

RE: Dominas all looking for the exact same guy. - 10/28/2007 11:24:24 PM

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Joined: 4/7/2004
From: Philadelphia, PA
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quote:

ORIGINAL: HarryVanWinkle
I'll say this. Shooting the messenger because you don't like the message is not an indicator of an open mind.

And stoning the disgruntled crowd after they've read a poorly phrased and delivered message is the right way to go?

Oh, I see. My bad.

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Ms World Leather 2004
Ms Philadelphia Leather 2004

"Simply put, if you want a real femdom to love you, give her reasons to love you." Gloria Brame

(in reply to HarryVanWinkle)

RE: Dominas all looking for the exact same guy. - 10/28/2007 11:31:43 PM

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Joined: 6/21/2007
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quote:

I think more than anything, he was trying to tell people how he feels. More than anyone else who responded to him, I get the strong feeling he really wishes he was wrong

Let us assume that he is right for a moment... Why is the fact that most fem doms want what is touted as positive human currency disturbing? Why is there most of the time a common denominator in terms of who is more valuable based on superficial attributes among men? If fem doms feel they possess the currency to attract the "valuable" submissive, than more power to them (us). A lot of people want to stand out by showing they have the exceptional "thing/person" everyone else wants. In the end we're just trying to fit in better with everyone else, which makes us not so different in terms of seeking acceptance, and respect.

quote:

His post, though, isn't the kind that flies well in this forum. Many times I have plowed the unrealistic expectations theme here in relation to femdoms, and all I'll tell you its a rough crowd. Replies usually include names, derisive remarks, character assasination, and a categorical dismissal of one's POV.

How do you measure what each is worth though, and what is reasonable for each to desire? Realistically, each person's expectation is reasonable because it is personal. If any person would rather be alone than to be with someone who does not meet his/her expectation, it's entirely within his/her realistic prerogative. Being single is no more problematic than being with someone you can't stand for more than a few hours at a time. Just my opinion of course. M

_____________________________

"touching was and still is and will always be the true revolution" Nikki Giovanni
"Love is the only sane and satisfactory answer to the problem of human existence." Erich Fromm

(in reply to cloudboy)

RE: Dominas all looking for the exact same guy. - 10/29/2007 2:27:13 AM

MsCfromMelbourne

Posts: 777
Joined: 2/15/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: HarryVanWinkle

Having read hundreds of profiles belonging to dominant women here, it seems like half of them have been copied and pasted from one another.

They seek a guy who’s handsome, healthy and successful in vanilla life, yet is absolutely submissive behind closed doors.

He will dedicate his body, mind and soul to her pleasure, comfort and happiness and make absolutely no demands, have no expectations, no specific desires of his own. Yet he’s not a doormat.

He’s strong, secure in himself, intelligent and has a sense of humor, yet is not a SAM and he knows his place at her feet. And he never "tops from the bottom."

He’s able and eager to support her in the lifestyle to which she is or wishes to become accustomed. He has pictures on his profile, or sends them in his first letter, even though many of them don’t. He writes a detailed, non copy/pasted letter of introduction to each domina he contacts, even though most of them never respond. He never mentions what his kinks are in this letter, because he knows it’s “all about her” even though he has no clue as to what hers are from her profile. Where he finds the time to do this while being successful and driven in his business life, I don’t know.

I hate to be the one to tell you this, Ladies, but of all the submissive men I know, only one even comes close to this. And he’s already taken.

I wasn't going to buy into this thread because it only encourages more Domme-baiting, which is a very boring (although recognised) kink.

However, I have a different POV.

I think if you asked, almost every Domme in a D/s relationship who loves her male submissive will tell you that her submissive fits the above description perfectly!

So there's not only one perfect malesub; there must be millions :) But how can this be? Because beauty is in the eye of the beholder and love is blind? Yes to some extent. And becuase every requirement in the above parody is a subjective and relative criteria

Take "successful" for example. If I was a Domme living on welfare in a trailer park (which I might be - you don't know when you email me, do you?) and the potential sub holds down a steady job at Walmart, I would be mightily impressed how successful he is (compared to me). Its all relative.

Handsome? If I think the sub is better looking than me, then he is hot stuff in my subjective taste. [Aside: I swear all my subs over the years have been absolutely gorgeous. Yet my family have called them "creepy old men", "weirdos" and "totally butt-ugly". Love is blind.......]

And the interesting part is that if a sub is not, say, very handsome but he is very successful (in whatever field interests him) or very funny or very submissive, he is still in with a chance to win the Domme. Qualities can be traded off against one another. A Domme might give a shopping list of qualities she finds attractive, but the sub only needs to "sell" himself against enough criteria for the Domme to think she has got herself a pretty darn good catch.

Everyone - male or female, Dominant or submissive - wants to be proud of their partner and feel lucky to be with him or her.

No-one is going to advertise the Real Truth: that you don't have to be perfect, you just have to be perfect for the very imperfect me :)

[Edited to add a disclaimer - by the way, MY current sub IS handsome, healthy, successful, truly submissive, alpha outdoors and totally obedient indoors, dedicated to making me happy and doesn't push his own kinks, super intelligent, very witty, a good provider and never tops from the bottom...no, REALLY!

]

< Message edited by MsCfromMelbourne -- 10/29/2007 2:53:05 AM >

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(in reply to HarryVanWinkle)

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