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RE: Dominas all looking for the exact same guy. - 10/29/2007 1:34:15 PM

InnocentYoungSub

Posts: 210
Joined: 8/7/2007
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I'm ugly, I'm fat, i'm short, I don't have very much money at all, no car...

But I got high hopes. ;)

LOL.

Someday I'll be hot shit...someday.

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RE: Dominas all looking for the exact same guy. - 10/29/2007 6:29:25 PM

petdave

Posts: 2479
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quote:

ORIGINAL: FullfigRIMaam
Let us assume that he is right for a moment... Why is the fact that most fem doms want what is touted as positive human currency disturbing?

Well, if nobody wants a widget, and you happen to be a widget... you can end up with a lot of free time. Complaining is always good for killing a bit of time.

Anger is often a human response to being on the outside looking in, even when it isn't productive, it still comes.

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Post #: 62

RE: Dominas all looking for the exact same guy. - 10/29/2007 6:43:17 PM

LadyHibiscus

Posts: 27124
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
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quote:

ORIGINAL: InnocentYoungSub

I'm ugly, I'm fat, i'm short, I don't have very much money at all, no car...

But I got high hopes. ;)

LOL.

Someday I'll be hot shit...someday.

You have a sweet face and you express yourself well. Many bonus points!

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Post #: 63

RE: Dominas all looking for the exact same guy. - 10/29/2007 9:53:31 PM

FullfigRIMaam

Posts: 718
Joined: 6/21/2007
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I think you look adorable, and were you twice your age, an great moldable possibility for any of us here.

M

< Message edited by FullfigRIMaam -- 10/29/2007 9:54:16 PM >

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Post #: 64

RE: Dominas all looking for the exact same guy. - 10/30/2007 1:41:01 AM

MsCfromMelbourne

Posts: 777
Joined: 2/15/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: InnocentYoungSub

I'm ugly, I'm fat, i'm short, I don't have very much money at all, no car...

But I got high hopes. ;)

LOL.

Someday I'll be hot shit...someday.

Somewhere on the planet is a short, chubby, rather plain but very economical Domina who likes public transport and She will rock your world. You two will be crazy about eachother. There's someone for everyone :)

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RE: Dominas all looking for the exact same guy. - 10/30/2007 6:47:08 AM

Petronius

Posts: 289
Joined: 1/1/2004
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quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

OK. Let's say for the sake of arguement that the OP is correct. Suppose many of the Dommes that are currently looking want to find someone intelligent, financially stable, age compatible, sense of humor, and the other mixed bag of qualities and character traits mentioned. I guess My question to the OP is, what is the problem with this?

"What's wrong with that?" Mathematics and the mathematical demonstration of incredibly unrealistic expectations. People routinely underestimate how quickly seeming reasonable desires can eliminate almost all potential partners.

Let's imagine that "intelligent" means within the top 25%. If we put all the desires together this way, it looks something like:

Intelligent: 25%
Financially stable: 33%
Age Compatible: 5%
Sense of humor: 50%

For older individuals:
Not married, not gay, not anti-relationship: 10%

So these individuals are a small percent of the population: .25 x .33 x.05 x .50 x .10 or 2/100ths of 1% of the male populace. That's 1 in 5,000.

Let's add:

Psychologically stable: 50%
Not a flake style sub: 50%
Appearence: 50%

That reduces things to one in 40,000.

If you estimate that 1% of all males are actively and specifically oriented to submission of the sort desired, that's 1 in 4,000,000.

With roughly 150 million males in the country, there are less than 40 suitable.

Then there are problems with geography. Most people probably want partners who live close by. If only 5% of the population does, than there are 2 males suitable.

That in a mathematical nutshell is an answer to the question "what's wrong with that?"

PS: One can play out the exact same thing with Doms, using slightly different figures.

quote:

If anyone is seeking their match, why shouldn't they want to find what they are looking for? It seems pretty reasonable to Me. Especially when We know they are out there.

"Why shouldn't they?" Mathematics.

I'm sure it does seem "pretty reasonable" to LadyPact because, until you look at hard realities, it seems "pretty reasonable" to most people.

On the other hand, I am reminded of a story that one psychologist told. A 65-year-old woman was weeping heavily in a therapy session at the first realization that her "Price was [not] going to come." All throughout her life she had dismissed suitors that didn't meet her expectations and rationalized it with the constant statement "Some day my Prince will come." At 65, sadly, she realized how unrealistic this was.

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RE: Dominas all looking for the exact same guy. - 10/30/2007 8:10:46 AM

LadyPact

Posts: 32566
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I'm going to disagree with you, pet (doesn't that have a nice ring to it?). First of all, there's no real basis for your math. How you came up with the percentages is beyond Me. Taking a stab at 50% of males having a sense of humor, for example, seems a bit off base. Also, many of the catagories cross over. Take the "intelligent" and "financially stable" for example. One doesn't exclude the other. More often, those two in particular compliment each other, considering most with a college degree are making better money than those who don't. Where the idea that only 10% are "not married, not gay, or not anti-relationship" came from, I haven't a clue, but I'd love to see the research on it.

The math is completely flawed because you assume that a person can have only one of the above qualities at a time. By your own figures, you are saying that a male can only possibly be in any one of the given catagories at once. Your equation of .25 x .33 x.05 x .50 x .10 would be an absolute that not one male could possibly be both. When you go with catagories of "not a flake", etc. you go even further. Lastly, there is no basis for your estimate that there is only 1% of the male population is actively seeking or oriented to submission. Many of the last reports have leaned to the percentage being much higher.

Considering how many have found wonderful submissives who do fit into what some might feel is a small pool, would anyone really think there are only two left? Just in case, I've got dibbs on the first one.

< Message edited by LadyPact -- 10/30/2007 8:12:10 AM >

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RE: Dominas all looking for the exact same guy. - 10/30/2007 8:23:47 AM

WolfSpirit862

Posts: 8
Joined: 2/23/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Petronius

On the other hand, I am reminded of a story that one psychologist told. A 65-year-old woman was weeping heavily in a therapy session at the first realization that her "Price was [not] going to come." All throughout her life she had dismissed suitors that didn't meet her expectations and rationalized it with the constant statement "Some day my Prince will come." At 65, sadly, she realized how unrealistic this was.

I do NOT believe that there is "someone for everyone". I do not think that there is any sort of fairy-tale romantic gaurantee that everyone will find someone to love givin enough time. However, I think it's better to be alone than to compromise and settle simply for the lack of something better.

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RE: Dominas all looking for the exact same guy. - 10/30/2007 1:53:41 PM

InnocentYoungSub

Posts: 210
Joined: 8/7/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyHibiscus

quote:

ORIGINAL: InnocentYoungSub

I'm ugly, I'm fat, i'm short, I don't have very much money at all, no car...

But I got high hopes. ;)

LOL.

Someday I'll be hot shit...someday.

You have a sweet face and you express yourself well. Many bonus points!

Thank you.

quote:

ORIGINAL: FullfigRIMaam

I think you look adorable, and were you twice your age, an great moldable possibility for any of us here. M

Hehe, thank you for the compliment.

quote:

ORIGINAL: MsCfromMelbourne

Somewhere on the planet is a short, chubby, rather plain but very economical Domina who likes public transport and She will rock your world. You two will be crazy about eachother. There's someone for everyone :)

LOL, well you have a good attitude. I'm sure there are good matches for me out there. I was just being morose because there is actually a girl I know IRL who I'd like to ask out and who I think would most likely say yes.. but I don't have a car so I can't even ask her out. I'm way out in the boons so I can't actually use public transport.

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RE: Dominas all looking for the exact same guy. - 10/30/2007 2:10:04 PM

BlueSteel4slv

Posts: 4
Joined: 10/26/2007
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It has been my experience the good Dommes are all the ones that are mature in mind, the bad Dommes are the ones that are just kids wanting money. There is of course the "Domme myth" that is see repeated again and again. That myth is.... it is all about their pleasure and the sub/slave should get nothing out of the relationship. That "serving is it's own reward". All of which is total bullshit. If I never gave my ladies pleasure they would and will not stay around. That is why so many of these women are alone on their computers with a box of Ding Dongs every night. They believe the Domme myth and will not look at the evidence. It is against human nature. That is why Communism failed and that is why they are failures too.

I or anyone can get a bunch of subs to beat on, they will initially flock to you. None will stay.

< Message edited by BlueSteel4slv -- 10/30/2007 2:16:34 PM >

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RE: Dominas all looking for the exact same guy. - 10/30/2007 2:13:50 PM

BlueSteel4slv

Posts: 4
Joined: 10/26/2007
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Dude, ask anyway. Do not put anymore obsticals in the way. You have enough. Sometimes you just need to let the lady know you are interested and say it. Boonies and no car are not an obstical to love....It conquers all.

BUT YOU HAVE TO TELL HER YOUR FEELINGS

< Message edited by BlueSteel4slv -- 10/30/2007 2:15:36 PM >

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RE: Dominas all looking for the exact same guy. - 10/30/2007 5:12:49 PM

LaMistressa

Posts: 460
Joined: 12/4/2006
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But...if we're all looking for the exact same guy, what about those of us who are also looking for a girl?

I'm just sayin'.

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Post #: 72

RE: Dominas all looking for the exact same guy. - 10/30/2007 5:57:48 PM

Petronius

Posts: 289
Joined: 1/1/2004
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quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

I'm going to disagree with you, pet (doesn't that have a nice ring to it?). First of all, there's no real basis for your math. How you came up with the percentages is beyond Me. Taking a stab at 50% of males having a sense of humor, for example, seems a bit off base. Also, many of the catagories cross over. Take the "intelligent" and "financially stable" for example. One doesn't exclude the other. More often, those two in particular compliment each other, considering most with a college degree are making better money than those who don't. Where the idea that only 10% are "not married, not gay, or not anti-relationship" came from, I haven't a clue, but I'd love to see the research on it.

The math is completely flawed because you assume that a person can have only one of the above qualities at a time. By your own figures, you are saying that a male can only possibly be in any one of the given catagories at once. Your equation of .25 x .33 x.05 x .50 x .10 would be an absolute that not one male could possibly be both. When you go with catagories of "not a flake", etc. you go even further. Lastly, there is no basis for your estimate that there is only 1% of the male population is actively seeking or oriented to submission. Many of the last reports have leaned to the percentage being much higher.

Considering how many have found wonderful submissives who do fit into what some might feel is a small pool, would anyone really think there are only two left? Just in case, I've got dibbs on the first one.

There's nothing wrong with disagreements; they can often be fun, but then I'm a sadist so YMMV.

There's no "exclusion" between categories; we can walk and chew gum at the same time.

I hadn't suggested that only 50% of men have a sense of humor; everybody has a sense of humor at some level. Rather I used the 50% figure to indicate the sub male would be in the top 50% of all males in reference to a sense of humor.

If one asks for top 50% in looks and top 50% in humor, the chance of finding one man with both is .5 x .5 or .25.

Proof: Imagine 4 men. Two look good and two are funny.

The 4 break down as follow:

1 looks good as is funny.
1 looks good but is not funny.
1 doesn't look good but is funny.
1 is neither good looking nor funny.

Or, the chance of A and B occuring together is precisely the chance of A occuring times the chance of B occuring. In other words, 50% and 50% make 25%.

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RE: Dominas all looking for the exact same guy. - 10/30/2007 6:33:15 PM

Dragynsfury

Posts: 79
Joined: 10/14/2007
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Mathematical reasoning and logic make my head hurt. What was the point again?

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RE: Dominas all looking for the exact same guy. - 10/30/2007 6:41:36 PM

thegirlincharge

Posts: 68
Joined: 4/1/2006
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I don't think there is anything wrong with stating what you would like ideally. I'm certain most know they won't get it all in one package but there's nothing wrong with shooting for it or stating some of their expectations. My current sub is darn near perfect...and we are working on the rest

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RE: Dominas all looking for the exact same guy. - 10/30/2007 7:41:22 PM

MistressDolly

Posts: 917
Joined: 8/24/2006
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quote:

ORIGINAL: BlueSteel4slv

There is of course the "Domme myth" ... That myth is.... it is all about their pleasure and the sub/slave should get nothing out of the relationship. That "serving is it's own reward". All of which is total bullshit.

Serving can certainly be it's own reward when the one you're serving is the one you adore.

< Message edited by MistressDolly -- 10/30/2007 7:43:01 PM >

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RE: Dominas all looking for the exact same guy. - 10/30/2007 7:49:17 PM

LadyPact

Posts: 32566
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Petronius

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

I'm going to disagree with you, pet (doesn't that have a nice ring to it?). First of all, there's no real basis for your math. How you came up with the percentages is beyond Me. Taking a stab at 50% of males having a sense of humor, for example, seems a bit off base. Also, many of the catagories cross over. Take the "intelligent" and "financially stable" for example. One doesn't exclude the other. More often, those two in particular compliment each other, considering most with a college degree are making better money than those who don't. Where the idea that only 10% are "not married, not gay, or not anti-relationship" came from, I haven't a clue, but I'd love to see the research on it.

The math is completely flawed because you assume that a person can have only one of the above qualities at a time. By your own figures, you are saying that a male can only possibly be in any one of the given catagories at once. Your equation of .25 x .33 x.05 x .50 x .10 would be an absolute that not one male could possibly be both. When you go with catagories of "not a flake", etc. you go even further. Lastly, there is no basis for your estimate that there is only 1% of the male population is actively seeking or oriented to submission. Many of the last reports have leaned to the percentage being much higher.

Considering how many have found wonderful submissives who do fit into what some might feel is a small pool, would anyone really think there are only two left? Just in case, I've got dibbs on the first one.

There's nothing wrong with disagreements; they can often be fun, but then I'm a sadist so YMMV.

There's no "exclusion" between categories; we can walk and chew gum at the same time.

I hadn't suggested that only 50% of men have a sense of humor; everybody has a sense of humor at some level. Rather I used the 50% figure to indicate the sub male would be in the top 50% of all males in reference to a sense of humor.

If one asks for top 50% in looks and top 50% in humor, the chance of finding one man with both is .5 x .5 or .25.

Proof: Imagine 4 men. Two look good and two are funny.

The 4 break down as follow:

1 looks good as is funny.
1 looks good but is not funny.
1 doesn't look good but is funny.
1 is neither good looking nor funny.

Or, the chance of A and B occuring together is precisely the chance of A occuring times the chance of B occuring. In other words, 50% and 50% make 25%.

Sorry, Pet, but We'll have to agree to disagree on this one. There is just no way to prove personality traits by absolutes. You're basing your math on random values and percentages. Also, I don't think you're considering the perspectives from the other end.

Take, for example, the catagory of "good looking". Not everyone finds the same type of male attractive. So what I might not consider a physically pleasing form, might be someone else's cup of tea. My version of a sense of humor might be completely different from another. So, taking these things into account, changes the percentages completely.

There are just too many variables to bring this subject to a simple math equation. While We might disagree on just how many potentials are seriously out there, I doubt either of Us would think anyone should settle for someone who doesn't fit them.

_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

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RE: Dominas all looking for the exact same guy. - 10/30/2007 11:25:57 PM

subfever

Posts: 2895
Joined: 5/22/2004
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quote:

ORIGINAL: HarryVanWinkle

Having read hundreds of profiles belonging to dominant women here, it seems like half of them have been copied and pasted from one another.

They seek a guy who’s handsome, healthy and successful in vanilla life, yet is absolutely submissive behind closed doors.

He will dedicate his body, mind and soul to her pleasure, comfort and happiness and make absolutely no demands, have no expectations, no specific desires of his own. Yet he’s not a doormat.

He’s strong, secure in himself, intelligent and has a sense of humor, yet is not a SAM and he knows his place at her feet. And he never "tops from the bottom."

He’s able and eager to support her in the lifestyle to which she is or wishes to become accustomed. He has pictures on his profile, or sends them in his first letter, even though many of them don’t. He writes a detailed, non copy/pasted letter of introduction to each domina he contacts, even though most of them never respond. He never mentions what his kinks are in this letter, because he knows it’s “all about her” even though he has no clue as to what hers are from her profile. Where he finds the time to do this while being successful and driven in his business life, I don’t know.

I hate to be the one to tell you this, Ladies, but of all the submissive men I know, only one even comes close to this. And he’s already taken.

Even though I knew your absolute title would provide your many opponents with easy ammo, I actually found your post quite amusing.

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RE: Dominas all looking for the exact same guy. - 11/1/2007 9:47:45 AM

bookBum

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I dunno what everyone else thinks, but this thread raises the issue of the need to trade off between desirable and realisable.

Wanting a sub who is a smelly fantasist, looks like the back end of a bus and only wants to meet up online for the sole purpose of having his fantasies catered for, looks pretty realisable, if very undesirable.

Meeting a Brad Pitt look-a-like who sole intention to meet up and cater for your every whim, is the other end of the spectrum.

What do you think?

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RE: Dominas all looking for the exact same guy. - 11/1/2007 10:27:56 AM

sweetNsmartBBW

Posts: 167
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I know...not a Domme here, and it's not exactly to do with what the OP said, but instead relates more to the mathematics of whether or not a person will find the one they search for (giving credit where it's due, this was authored by Fred Cuellar):

HOW MANY PEOPLE DO YOU HAVE TO MEET IN ORDER TO FIND YOUR SOUL-MATE?

While this seems like the hardest question of all, it was always the easiest. The answer is 23. Well at least 23 to have a decent shot; you know, at least a 50/50 chance. While this number may seem extremely small to you, the producers of all the reality TV shows already know this fact. That's why the Bachelor and Bachelorette of reality TV always start off with 25 people to pick from (they rounded 23 to 25), because they want at least an even money shot at true love. Why 23? Simple. It's based on an old math puzzle called "The Birthday Paradox” which asks, "How many people do you have to put in a room before you have a 50/50 chance that two of them will have the same birthday?” The answer is 23. All of you non-mathematicians can scroll to the bottom of this article to read the explanation of "The Birthday Paradox.”

Let's continue. Go ask any married couple how many people they had to date before they found their true love. Go ahead, ask anybody. I guarantee that nobody will give you an answer larger than 365. See the correlation? 365 days in the year, 365 dates, max, to find true love. Using the Birthday Paradox, we can turn the very complicated question of love and soul-mates into a numbers game. Go out with 23 people; pick them carefully. At the end of the process, one half of you will be married. Don't believe me? Go see. Two more things to remember: 1) Almost 1/3 of all men will never marry and almost 1/4 of all women will never marry. Marriage doesn't necessarily equal happiness. 2) Before anyone is ever going to fall in love with you, you'd better be in love with yourself. If you can't sell yourself to you, then why should anyone else bother? Last question: What element does chance play? If you ask the romantics; none—it's all destiny!

THE BIRTHDAY PARADOX

By Dave Reitzes
Just how likely is it that, in a group of people, two of them will have the same birthday?
To simplify this question a bit, let's ignore leap years and assume that each year has 365 days.
If there are two people in a room, the odds of having the same birthday are one in 365.* The probability is therefore 0.0027. That's pretty unlikely.
Suppose you have three people in the room: A, B and C.
There are three possibilities for two of them to have the same birthday. A and B might. A and C might. Or B and C might.
What is the probability that two of the three will have the same birthday? We have to start by noting that the probability of A and B not having the same birthday is 364/365 = 0.99726.
Thus the probability of A and B not having the same birthday and B and C also not having the same birthday is .99726 x .99726 = 0.994528.
And it follows that the probability of A and B not having the same birthday and B and C also not having the same birthday and A and C not having the same birthday is .99726 x .99726 x .99726 = 0.9918.
Following this logic, when there are five people in the room there are ten possibilities for two of them to have the same birthday (4 + 3 + 2 + 1 = 10), and if there are six people in the room there are 15 possibilities (5 + 4 + 3 + 2 + 1 = 15).
In this latter case (six people in the room), the probability of none of the six having the same birthday is:
(364/365)15 = 0.959683
Therefore there are about four chances in a hundred that at least two of the people will have the same birthday.
Since the number of possibilities of two people having the same birthday increases roughly as the square of the number of people, the probability of at least two having the same birthday rises rapidly as the number in the room increases. With 20 people in the room, there are 190 opportunities for two people having the same birthday.
The probability that no two will is:
(364/365)190 = 0.59377
Repeating the analysis with 30 people, the probability is:
(364/365)435 = 0.30318
In other words, the odds are only three in ten that no two people will have the same birthday.

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