RE: Sissies' Acceptance Problem

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RE: Sissies' Acceptance Problem - 12/28/2007 7:25:11 AM

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I think it is just a fantasy state of mind. And I will repeat, it isn't a attempt to downgrade women. I just don't get where that comes from? I am in a little different position because I am passable, and dress appropriately as a female 50 percent of the time. I don't in my business, but there are many that have seen me both ways. It is just a matter of what works. I don't have the expectation that I should or shouldn't be accepted by everyone. I don't think everyone here is actually accepted by everyone. Just how life is.

(in reply to iwearpanties)

RE: Sissies' Acceptance Problem - 12/28/2007 7:37:52 AM

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I'm not sure it matters very much whether the intent is or is not to degrade the female. As with most things, it is in the eye of the beholder to interpret favourably or not - in the same way as the recent thread regarding the flying of the Confederate flag, where some saw it as an outright insult, some saw it as evidence of stupidity and others saw it as celebrating the notion of freedom from authority.

That thread ended with no agreement whatever - as will threads like these about sissies and crossdressers in general.

That said, I've yet to come across any crossdresser who didnt crossdress because he adored women and all things female - never have I met a crossdresser who dressed to insult or demean women.

That women can and do get upset about it, and that men do it, says more about the strong influence of societal values on all of us, than about anyone in particular being intolerant or anyone being insulting.

E

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RE: Sissies' Acceptance Problem - 12/28/2007 7:48:45 AM

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I have to admit that, even as someone who can appreciate trans people, I do see a fair degree of misogyny in some of it. (Come to think of it, where can a person NOT see misogyny?) But I think there's a very great deal of misogyny in transphobia, as well. It's as if the trappings of feminity are somehow polluting or contaminating to a man. He puts on a dress, and all of a sudden he's got cooties.

< Message edited by Reigna -- 12/28/2007 7:50:32 AM >

(in reply to LadyEllen)

RE: Sissies' Acceptance Problem - 12/28/2007 8:37:33 AM

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What, specifically, are the objections of women to sissies/crossdressers etc? I have a few I could come up with, but can anyone add to them?

1) The fetish aspect; "you love the clothes, not me"
2) The caricature aspect; "you see me as that?"
3) The relief aspect; "you think its easier to be a woman?"
4) The exhibitionist aspect; "you're more interested in yourself than in me"
5) The aspirational aspect; "you want me to get tarted up like that? No way, bud!"
6) The relative aspect; "so I'm not attractive enough, so you concoct this whore you'd prefer?"
7) The demeaning aspect; "you think all there is to being a woman is pretty clothes and make up?"
8) The insulting aspect; "you dress up like that and act all submissive - you think women are like that?"
9) The sexual aspect; "so I'm not enough for you? You want men too?"
10) The social aspect; "how can I take you seriously as a man, if you do this?"

E

_____________________________

In a test against the leading brand, 9 out of 10 participants couldnt tell the difference. Dumbasses.

(in reply to Reigna)

RE: Sissies' Acceptance Problem - 12/28/2007 9:43:51 AM

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Ellen, it's all of the above, at least on the surface. But I think that, at the deepest level, it's dread of the polluting female and what she can do to the male. Most people really, really need for men to be manly, and cannot tolerate ambiguity in the matter.

(in reply to LadyEllen)

RE: Sissies' Acceptance Problem - 12/28/2007 10:28:57 AM

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Lady Ellen,
I don't know what aspect you want to put this in, but what I find is that most dommes feel that if a man lists crossdressing as an interst, then they aren't in total control when they want him en femme. I have responded to hundreds of profiles over the years, and most who even list it as an interest, only say they tolerate it. I really don't think many dommes realize the benefit of sissification. In my opinion, when a man is wearing women's underwear, it can be very humiliating, even if he enjoys the feel. The problem is that unless she wants to humiliate him in public, which many men don't want, the only one who has control of the situation is his domme. He is humiliated in his mind to her alone. That can be very powerful for a domme, if she uses it.

(in reply to LadyEllen)

RE: Sissies' Acceptance Problem - 12/28/2007 3:59:29 PM

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From: Gravesend, UK
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quote:

ORIGINAL: DiannaVesta

Oh damn... do tell. I have quite a collection of cock sucking whores. They never seem to get enough. I'm sorry but I love denial and how it makes them shake like crazy.

Dianna,
Yes, denial is a very powerful tool, on that I will agree hands down and I have a certain love for it myself.
As for excess an example of treating a little sissy whore with copius amounts of the attention they crave can go from things like ... while in service, carry around their dildo and have a little announcement while entering the room your in. i.e., 'I'm a sissy whore and I worship cock.' or something to that effect. Plenty of punishments in the corner sucking said dildo for 10, 15, 30 minutes, etc. Another added spice of humiliation is to have them cherrish their blow up man doll. All kinds of humiliating scenes can be worked upon that alone with things like sleeping wiht the doll, the perhaps daily, several times a day, hourly, etc., oral maint. of the doll. Plenty of plug time while preforming all the above. Wank sessions till it hurts, evry hour on the hour... all day.
Pushing the 'forced bi' scenerio with possibly multiple partners so the sissy definately gets far more then bargained for. (obviously if the sissy is capable of that kind of interation) Make sure the sissy is only allowed a release with her blow up man, while you and perhaps others watch for added fun. After all they are sissy's and they can only long to get pleasure from a man, etc, etc. etc.
Soon enough, after plenty of corner time, cock sucking training, blow up doll dates, and the like the sissy soon becomes quite relieved to actually do things like just washing the dishes or giving a pedicure. lol
Of course the imagination is endless and each and every one is different and has their own flavor to it all, but the above are some examples. lol ...you asked

Cat

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(in reply to DiannaVesta)

RE: Sissies' Acceptance Problem - 12/28/2007 4:30:55 PM

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Lady Ellen,

My friend's husband who came out to our Domme group and his wife.. gave a talk on the different levels of cross dressing. Cross dressers.. drag queens, transgendered, and transsexuals and the conflict within their own ranks. Drag Queens are seen as outrageous by the cross dresser.. the transsexuals who have made the complete transitions because of the physiology their body has(such as those born with both genitalia and doctor made the choice FOR them and removed the wrong part or those who have the brain chemistry and actually have a female brain in a male body.) The fetishist are seen as causing those who are in transition to also be seen as "fetishists" thus making their situation more difficult to understand.

For years he wanted to dress en femme.. and his wife accepted it. Their sex life went down the toilet because he could only get aroused while dressed as a woman. Now, a Het woman has a reeeeaal hard time getting turned on by something that looks female and wants to perform as a female. They still loved each other, she understood his need- he understood her reluctance, so they opted for celibacy. They would go out in public with him en femme. She is very supportive.

After a few years, he toned down his attire on his own. It's now sweat suits and getting his hair and nails done. It just doesn't seem that important anymore. He found his comfort zone. We all accept him as he is.

I love your list..that just about covers all the reasons I've heard over the years.

_____________________________

Life Lesson #1

I'm not your type.
I'm not inflatable.

(in reply to LadyEllen)

RE: Sissies' Acceptance Problem - 12/28/2007 4:41:09 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyEllen

I'm not sure it matters very much whether the intent is or is not to degrade the female.

Where some of the objections come is in the perpetuation of a stereotype of female. Much like if some dressed up at Eddie Murphy's Buckwheat character to experience the black culture or those who put themselves in a wheelchair and sit on their legs because they want to appear as having no legs because they have an amputee fetish. I think the handicapped would take umbrage at the lack of sensitivity.

If the gentleman feels the need to dress en femme because he has a high powered job and he's bossing people around all day, maybe he should take a lesser job. .. you know..like a female.

_____________________________

Life Lesson #1

I'm not your type.
I'm not inflatable.

(in reply to LadyEllen)

RE: Sissies' Acceptance Problem - 12/28/2007 8:03:39 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyEllen

What, specifically, are the objections of women to sissies/crossdressers etc? I have a few I could come up with, but can anyone add to them?

That's a very well thought-out post. i would add one, which on the surface sounds like

quote:

10) The social aspect; "how can I take you seriously as a man, if you do this?"

but with a twist:

11) The bait-and-switch aspect: "I fell in love with you as a man- if I wanted a woman, I would have dated a real woman"

(in reply to LadyEllen)

RE: Sissies' Acceptance Problem - 9/4/2008 11:15:52 AM

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Joined: 12/11/2004
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Reigna

quote:

ORIGINAL: balletsissypa

... "being femnized" for [some] is more of a fetish that they use to decompress and relax. They usually go right back to being dominant malesonce they have achieved orgasm. The orgasm itself is important to look at also as many men get very masculine and very domininant once thy orgasm. That is why chastity devices are gaining in popularity.

Why would the male's orgasm and subsequent desire to go back to being his usual self be an issue? Unless he safewords, who cares what he wants? "I'm so glad you enjoyed your orgasm. Now, keep your pink dress on, sissy, and bring me some tea" works wonders for me.

That works for me too as long as the Domme/Dom retains control. Often times in Pro situations that ends the session.

(in reply to Reigna)

RE: Sissies' Acceptance Problem - 9/4/2008 12:05:46 PM

CallaFirestormBW

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quote:

ORIGINAL: LotusSong

MY THOUGHT: The reason this is a turn off for SOME mistresses is that while sissification is done in our venue, it's the Mistress' idea.. not the submissive's. THAT'S what makes it BDSM.

When the sissy comes already "dressed to the wiitwd party", there is nothing left for the Mistress to do really. She can't actually do forced feminization.. he already presents that he likes it. There are rare mistresses that enjoy just watching sissy prance about.. but is it really BDSM?

Tawk amoungst yourselves, discuss :)

BDSM aspects may encompass any number of other activities that do not require control of the sissification aspects as well. Unless the -only- purpose for the dominant party having a given servant or bottom is to force an unwilling male into sissy dress, then I'd say that there are plenty of other BDSM aspects available that do not necessarily negate BDSM in a relationship just because a man is already comfortably a CD or sissy.

CFB

< Message edited by CallaFirestormBW -- 9/4/2008 12:07:04 PM >

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(in reply to LotusSong)

RE: Sissies' Acceptance Problem - 9/4/2008 12:20:54 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: CallaFirestormBW
BDSM aspects may encompass any number of other activities that do not require control of the sissification aspects as well.

I'll say.

I'd also note that many, many sissies are very controllable in many, many aspects of their sissification. And those I've known are deliciously susceptible to various forms of humiliation related to their sissyhood.

(in reply to CallaFirestormBW)

RE: Sissies' Acceptance Problem - 9/4/2008 2:47:38 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyEllen

What, specifically, are the objections of women to sissies/crossdressers etc? I have a few I could come up with, but can anyone add to them?

1) The fetish aspect; "you love the clothes, not me"
2) The caricature aspect; "you see me as that?"
3) The relief aspect; "you think its easier to be a woman?"
4) The exhibitionist aspect; "you're more interested in yourself than in me"
5) The aspirational aspect; "you want me to get tarted up like that? No way, bud!"
6) The relative aspect; "so I'm not attractive enough, so you concoct this whore you'd prefer?"
7) The demeaning aspect; "you think all there is to being a woman is pretty clothes and make up?"
8) The insulting aspect; "you dress up like that and act all submissive - you think women are like that?"
9) The sexual aspect; "so I'm not enough for you? You want men too?"
10) The social aspect; "how can I take you seriously as a man, if you do this?"

E

Hmmmmm....well peception is certainly in the eye of the beholder but let me ask You this: Why do we all get lumped into the same catagory? Just like people are different from one another, so are fetish people. Do Dommes look at all males as submissive? Can they not look at some as dominant? Let me take this point by point remembering that this is just my twist on it and these points do hold true with others.

1. You love the clothes, not me- Is there some reason i cannot love both? Can the clothes not just be something that enhances it for me? If i identify as a girl, wouldn't it be natural that i would wear girl clothes doing whatever it is that i do? A Domme would not normally wear a male outfit and/or a sub outfit would they? Probably not, its not how they identify.
2. You see me as THAT- NO, i see myself as that. Just like the way other genetic females dress is not a reflection on what they think You look like, i don't dress the way i picture my Domme (if i had one).
3. You think it is easier to be a woman- As someone exploring even the mundane day to day aspects of girlhood, i certainly do not think that.
4. Your more intersted in yourself than me- Again, this is one of those things that does hold true for many, but not all. i am a very service oriented girl and am more focused on my Domme then on me. While we are on this topic, HELLO, does the old saying "its like the pot calling the kettle black" ring a bell?
5. You want me to get tarted up like that- No- i want You to dress the way You want. Certainly in a Pro-Domme situation many slaves would have a request or expectation but that is more of a business relationship often.
6. i am not attractive enough so you concocted this whore.- i dress primarily as a preteen so you would be hard press to call it whorish. Again, just because its the outfit i chose doesn't mean i see You that way. Dommes who take female subs, do they dress like their Dommes? Probably not.
7. You think all there is to being a woman is pretty clothes and makeup- i certainly don't my desires for feminization go to experiencing all i can about being a real girl. i know that many cd/tv's feel this way but not all of us....plus, as the Domme You get to teach her otherwise.
8. You dress like that and act all submissive and think all women are that way- again, no. If i realy thought that, why would i be seeing Domme?
9 So I am not enough for you, you want men- this is sometimes the case for some cd/tvs but not always. Plus, remember that men can offer things that women can't and vice versa. i would certainly expect the Bi ladies out there to understand that. Also, this falls back to the pot and kettle......whats the matter, vanilla sex with a vanilla guy isn't enough?
10. How can i take you seriously as a man- i don't want You too. i want to be a girl for You. i don't want You thinking of me as a man.

my point is that everything is persepective and everyone is different, some not that much more than others and some light years apart. Take a minute to look at the individual. You may be surprised. Do the me, me, me Divas out there drive me crazy too. YES. They make it very hard for others of us to find a Domme.

(in reply to LadyEllen)

RE: Sissies' Acceptance Problem - 9/4/2008 2:52:23 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyEllen
What, specifically, are the objections of women to sissies/crossdressers etc? I have a few I could come up with, but can anyone add to them?

My darling (who adores sissy maids) has been known to complain that the only drawback is that when they walk down the street together, passersby look at the sissy instead of my darling.

(in reply to LadyEllen)

RE: Sissies' Acceptance Problem - 9/4/2008 4:06:59 PM

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two dommes do you like when this happens ?

(in reply to TwoNYCDommes)

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