RE: -=TPE - no limits total submission, fact or fiction?=-

Join Our Community

Collarchat.com

Home Login Search

RE: -=TPE - no limits total submission, fact or fiction?=-

View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> RE: -=TPE - no limits total submission, fact or fiction?=-

Page: << < prev 1 [2] 3 4 5 next > >>

Login

Message

<< Older Topic Newer Topic >>

RE: -=TPE - no limits total submission, fact or fiction?=- - 11/11/2007 12:43:01 PM

Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: ResidentSadist

quote:

ORIGINAL: juliaoceania
"... I assume that this TPE slave is consenting, although it would seem as though someone that was totally owned would have no right to have even consent..."

Your life is the result of yoru choices. You always have a choice.

-=About Consent=-
It is a common mistake I see when a slave does not stand accountable for their choice to submit in the first place. They may feel “out of place” or otherwise start losing the feeling of being controlled. I believe this happens because they feel “held in place” by Master’s actions more than their own choices. In reality, a Master’s actions can only serve to remind a slave of her place.
Forced seduction and capture are a common romantic slave fantasy but, when the lines between the reality of their choices and that fantasy collide, they need to hold their place with Master and remain surrendered as they originally chose. Neither the surrender to Master nor choosing which Master to serve was forced. The slave needs to stand accountable for their choices. Misplacing blame or credit for surrender is emotionally abusive and should be sign that something is amiss.

I so do not get slavery. I am not saying it does not exist, but for me, in my reality, it just doesn't. That should not negate your experiences though... it is just my little slice of the way the world works in my mind. Some of the posters on this board I most value are slaves, and I have often found myself so drawn to the way they think and how their relationships work that I suppose I could start to self identify that way... but I don't.

My biggest issue is the reduction of a human being to being a possession like a car. I suppose my humanity just demands more respect than that, but I also know that some people enjoy the dehumanizing aspects of consensual slavery in which the slave is treated as less than human... it just is something that I do not get.. and it seems to be the cornerstone of many TPE relationships I have read about.

_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

(in reply to ResidentSadist)

RE: -=TPE - no limits total submission, fact or fiction?=- - 11/11/2007 12:44:00 PM

Posts: 2464
Joined: 1/26/2006
From: North Carolina
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: ResidentSadist

quote:

ORIGINAL: sweetnurseBBW

I love these "one true way" definitions that is supposed to work for everyone. This lifestyle isn't as black and white as some feel the need to see it a such, there are shades of grey.

What works for you is great but don't try to force your beliefs on others who don't share the same opinion and expect everyone to agree. Not everyone does things the same way.

My post isn’t selling anything. This post is NOT about D/s vs M/s or the million styles and variations within it. It is about defining the reality of TPE in an M/s environment. Hence the reference to “2 seconds of flight”.

When people within the BDSM community compare “apples & oranges” claiming one is better than or leads to another. That’s like saying monogamy is the first step to polyfidelity or that submission has anything to do with slavery. It’s all good… just a matter of if you like apples or oranges.

However, the definition of TPE is not gray… Total Power Exchange is a simple term that is often misused. If you have been mislead as to the definition of TPE or confuse it with “fantasy slave role playing” in a D/s negotiated relationship, then you may not understand my post or the meaning of what is meant by “apples & oranges” because you have not “totally exchanged power”.

No you do not understand. That is pretty obvious from what others are telling you. You have a definition that works for you and We have one that works for us. You are the one that has a misunderstanding.

_____________________________

Sir Pain's pain slut

(in reply to ResidentSadist)

RE: -=TPE - no limits total submission, fact or fiction?=- - 11/11/2007 12:44:20 PM

Posts: 3066
Joined: 2/4/2006
From: NYS
Status: offline

Your car comes with a manual that tells of its limits. Unless your sub has written up such a manual, you won't know hers without talking to her. So why is it a crime for her to tell you that she suffers from low blood sugar and can't be locked in a closet without food for 24 hours?
You seem to be promoting mind reading, after all if she isn't allowed to tell you, and to be a good dom you need to know them, what other recourse do you have?

Mind reading doesn't work for us, I'm impressed that you're so proficient at it.

(in reply to kyraofMists)

RE: -=TPE - no limits total submission, fact or fiction?=- - 11/11/2007 12:45:24 PM

Posts: 12580
Joined: 2/11/2007
From: a mean old Daddy, but I like you - Joni Mitchell
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: kyraofMists
I have never understood the term Total Power Exchange. To me it is a misnomer. What exactly is being exchanged? Following the term literally, the slave is giving all their power to the master and the master is giving their power to the slave. Not sure how that sets one person up as having authority within the relationship.

Authority transfer works better and makes more sense to me. He has all the authority within the relationship. I transfer it all to him. He does not exchange any authority with me.

Power is authority. What you describe is very similar to my understanding of TPE. You said, “I transfer it all to him”. In that case, it sounds like TPE to me.

_____________________________

-=BDSM Book List=- Reading is Fundamental !!!
I give good thread.

(in reply to kyraofMists)

RE: -=TPE - no limits total submission, fact or fiction?=- - 11/11/2007 12:45:29 PM

Posts: 2464
Joined: 1/26/2006
From: North Carolina
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Squeakers

I think that the gray area lies in the fact that each TPE is going to be a little different. What one Dom requires of his sumbissive may not be what another Dom may require.

Thank you, I am glad someone understands.

_____________________________

Sir Pain's pain slut

(in reply to Squeakers)

RE: -=TPE - no limits total submission, fact or fiction?=- - 11/11/2007 12:48:32 PM

Posts: 4004
Joined: 7/14/2007
Status: offline

I'm not sure what to say except that we are both submitted to each other...in all ways...to love each other...care for each other, feed each other. We belong to each other...I wear His collar...He wears mine. He totally my Master...I totally His property, His servant.

_____________________________

Romans 10:13,For whosoever shall call upon the name of the Lord shall be saved.
Mike posts in black font
candy posts in pink font

(in reply to kyraofMists)

RE: -=TPE - no limits total submission, fact or fiction?=- - 11/11/2007 12:49:44 PM

Posts: 2464
Joined: 1/26/2006
From: North Carolina
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: breatheasone

Total submission...... yes I have that in my relationship with my Master. It goes BOTH ways.

It does. I give total power exchage to Master but it isn't as one sided as the OP likes to think. One just doesn't give up power. It is an exchange not a dictatorship. Has to be a mutual thing between Master and slave.

_____________________________

Sir Pain's pain slut

(in reply to breatheasone)

RE: -=TPE - no limits total submission, fact or fiction?=- - 11/11/2007 12:50:28 PM

Posts: 489
Joined: 10/3/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: sweetnurseBBW

quote:

ORIGINAL: Squeakers

I think that the gray area lies in the fact that each TPE is going to be a little different. What one Dom requires of his sumbissive may not be what another Dom may require.

Thank you, I am glad someone understands.

Yes so far I agree with everything the OP has said and I understand exactly what he is saying. I am simply pointing out what I feel the gray areas are. And what I mean by what one Dom requires may be---"squeakers you will have my dinner on the table at six", where as another Dom might say, "Since you get home two hours after me squeakers, I will do it".

(in reply to sweetnurseBBW)

RE: -=TPE - no limits total submission, fact or fiction?=- - 11/11/2007 12:50:53 PM

Posts: 4004
Joined: 7/14/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: sweetnurseBBW

quote:

ORIGINAL: breatheasone

Total submission...... yes I have that in my relationship with my Master. It goes BOTH ways.

It does. I give total power exchage to Master but it isn't as one sided as the OP likes to think. One just doesn't give up power. It is an exchange not a dictatorship. Has to be a mutual thing between Master and slave.

Yes Ma'am...

_____________________________

Romans 10:13,For whosoever shall call upon the name of the Lord shall be saved.
Mike posts in black font
candy posts in pink font

(in reply to sweetnurseBBW)

RE: -=TPE - no limits total submission, fact or fiction?=- - 11/11/2007 12:53:40 PM

Posts: 2464
Joined: 1/26/2006
From: North Carolina
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Squeakers

quote:

ORIGINAL: sweetnurseBBW

quote:

ORIGINAL: Squeakers

I think that the gray area lies in the fact that each TPE is going to be a little different. What one Dom requires of his sumbissive may not be what another Dom may require.

Thank you, I am glad someone understands.

Yes so far I agree with everything the OP has said and I understand exactly what he is saying. I am simply pointing out what I feel the gray areas are. And what I mean by what one Dom requires may be---"squeakers you will have my dinner on the table at six", where as another Dom might say, "Since you get home two hours after me squeakers, I will do it".

Yes but the OP doesn't get what some are telling him. His TPE with his slave may not be the same as ours. We have total power exchange but he doesn't get that some do it differently. Master has total transfer of power, he is saying because I don't agree with his definition we don't. That's the part that gets me going.

< Message edited by sweetnurseBBW -- 11/11/2007 12:54:20 PM >

_____________________________

Sir Pain's pain slut

(in reply to Squeakers)

RE: -=TPE - no limits total submission, fact or fiction?=- - 11/11/2007 12:53:55 PM

Posts: 58
Joined: 9/18/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: breatheasone

I'm not sure what to say except that we are both submitted to each other...in all ways...to love each other...care for each other, feed each other. We belong to each other...I wear His collar...He wears mine. He totally my Master...I totally His property, His servant.

I gotcha breatheasone.... I belong to my Daddy, and he belongs to me... the only thing I can say that differs is we are partners instead of master and property... but I think both our relationships are wonderful in showing the diversity of the lifestyle.

_____________________________

Daddyskittin... formally YourShyPet

myspace.com/daddys_kittin

(in reply to breatheasone)

RE: -=TPE - no limits total submission, fact or fiction?=- - 11/11/2007 12:55:40 PM

Posts: 12580
Joined: 2/11/2007
From: a mean old Daddy, but I like you - Joni Mitchell
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Celeste43
Your car comes with a manual that tells of its limits. Unless your sub has written up such a manual, you won't know hers without talking to her. So why is it a crime for her to tell you that she suffers from low blood sugar and can't be locked in a closet without food for 24 hours?
You seem to be promoting mind reading, after all if she isn't allowed to tell you, and to be a good dom you need to know them, what other recourse do you have?

Mind reading doesn't work for us, I'm impressed that you're so proficient at it.

#1 – I am not a “good dom”. I am a good Master. There is a difference.
#2 - As far as M/s goes, how could you develop “trust” without learning about your slave?
#3 - I can see that mind reading doesn’t work well for you and that you didn’t read the OP with any comprehension either.

Your reply is apples vs oranges and not well received. However, I do have experience with D/s and can answer your questions about D/s. If you would like to start a thread and post me, I will be glad to reply and discuss the relationship dynamics of D/s. I would thank you not further polute this thread.

_____________________________

-=BDSM Book List=- Reading is Fundamental !!!
I give good thread.

(in reply to Celeste43)

RE: -=TPE - no limits total submission, fact or fiction?=- - 11/11/2007 12:56:28 PM

Posts: 2464
Joined: 1/26/2006
From: North Carolina
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: sweetnurseBBW

quote:

ORIGINAL: Squeakers

quote:

ORIGINAL: sweetnurseBBW

quote:

ORIGINAL: Squeakers

I think that the gray area lies in the fact that each TPE is going to be a little different. What one Dom requires of his sumbissive may not be what another Dom may require.

Thank you, I am glad someone understands.

Yes so far I agree with everything the OP has said and I understand exactly what he is saying. I am simply pointing out what I feel the gray areas are. And what I mean by what one Dom requires may be---"squeakers you will have my dinner on the table at six", where as another Dom might say, "Since you get home two hours after me squeakers, I will do it".

However, the definition of TPE is not gray… Total Power Exchange is a simple term that is often misused. If you have been mislead as to the definition of TPE or confuse it with “fantasy slave role playing” in a D/s negotiated relationship, then you may not understand my post or the meaning of what is meant by “apples & oranges” because you have not “totally exchanged power”.

Yes but the OP doesn't get what some are telling him. His TPE with his slave may not be the same as ours. We have total power exchange but he doesn't get that some do it differently. Master has total transfer of power, he is saying because I don't agree with his definition we don't. That's the part that gets me going. We are roleplaying because we don't agree with his way.

_____________________________

Sir Pain's pain slut

(in reply to sweetnurseBBW)

RE: -=TPE - no limits total submission, fact or fiction?=- - 11/11/2007 12:56:42 PM

Posts: 3292
Joined: 7/29/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: ResidentSadist

quote:

ORIGINAL: kyraofMists
I have never understood the term Total Power Exchange. To me it is a misnomer. What exactly is being exchanged? Following the term literally, the slave is giving all their power to the master and the master is giving their power to the slave. Not sure how that sets one person up as having authority within the relationship.

Authority transfer works better and makes more sense to me. He has all the authority within the relationship. I transfer it all to him. He does not exchange any authority with me.

Power is authority. What you describe is very similar to my understanding of TPE. You said, “I transfer it all to him”. In that case, it sounds like TPE to me.

But he does not exchange authority with me. He gets the authority and I do not; there is no exchange, no quid pro quo in regards to authority or power. This is why I consider the term to be meaningless to me.

Knight's Kyra

_____________________________

"Passion... it lies in all of us. Sleeping, waiting, and though unbidden, it will stir, open its jaws, and howl. It speaks to us, guides us... passion rules us all. And we obey..." ~Angelus

(in reply to ResidentSadist)

RE: -=TPE - no limits total submission, fact or fiction?=- - 11/11/2007 12:57:43 PM

Posts: 489
Joined: 10/3/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: sweetnurseBBW

quote:

ORIGINAL: breatheasone

Total submission...... yes I have that in my relationship with my Master. It goes BOTH ways.

It does. I give total power exchage to Master but it isn't as one sided as the OP likes to think. One just doesn't give up power. It is an exchange not a dictatorship. Has to be a mutual thing between Master and slave.

Wait, because I don't agree with the thoughts here, in a TPE, it is not always an equal exchange because one has to lead. Only one can be the leader and be in control. Sometimes, I think things are not always fair and sometimes I do not always agree BUT---I know in the TPE who is in charge and I ALWAYS must trust his judgement even if I do not agree or think it is fair. If I am unable to trust his judgement than for me, I have no damn business accepting the power exchange or even being involved in it.

(in reply to sweetnurseBBW)

RE: -=TPE - no limits total submission, fact or fiction?=- - 11/11/2007 1:00:17 PM

Posts: 489
Joined: 10/3/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: sweetnurseBBW

quote:

ORIGINAL: Squeakers

quote:

ORIGINAL: sweetnurseBBW

quote:

ORIGINAL: Squeakers

I think that the gray area lies in the fact that each TPE is going to be a little different. What one Dom requires of his sumbissive may not be what another Dom may require.

Thank you, I am glad someone understands.

Yes so far I agree with everything the OP has said and I understand exactly what he is saying. I am simply pointing out what I feel the gray areas are. And what I mean by what one Dom requires may be---"squeakers you will have my dinner on the table at six", where as another Dom might say, "Since you get home two hours after me squeakers, I will do it".

Yes but the OP doesn't get what some are telling him. His TPE with his slave may not be the same as ours. We have total power exchange but he doesn't get that some do it differently. Master has total transfer of power, he is saying because I don't agree with his definition we don't. That's the part that gets me going.

I just don't think there can be varied definitions for a TPE---it is an exchange. The exchange is this---the submissive gives up her control and He takes that control.

(in reply to sweetnurseBBW)

RE: -=TPE - no limits total submission, fact or fiction?=- - 11/11/2007 1:01:50 PM

Posts: 3292
Joined: 7/29/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: sweetnurseBBW

quote:

ORIGINAL: breatheasone

Total submission...... yes I have that in my relationship with my Master. It goes BOTH ways.

It does. I give total power exchage to Master but it isn't as one sided as the OP likes to think. One just doesn't give up power. It is an exchange not a dictatorship. Has to be a mutual thing between Master and slave.

For us, we are definitely in a dictatorship in regards to who has the authority within the relationship. It may be a benevolent dictatorship, but he has the authority and Alandra and I do not. We do not exchange authority; it is transferred to him.

Knight's Kyra

_____________________________

"Passion... it lies in all of us. Sleeping, waiting, and though unbidden, it will stir, open its jaws, and howl. It speaks to us, guides us... passion rules us all. And we obey..." ~Angelus

(in reply to sweetnurseBBW)

RE: -=TPE - no limits total submission, fact or fiction?=- - 11/11/2007 1:02:21 PM

Posts: 2464
Joined: 1/26/2006
From: North Carolina
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Squeakers

quote:

ORIGINAL: sweetnurseBBW

quote:

ORIGINAL: breatheasone

Total submission...... yes I have that in my relationship with my Master. It goes BOTH ways.

It does. I give total power exchange to Master but it isn't as one sided as the OP likes to think. One just doesn't give up power. It is an exchange not a dictatorship. Has to be a mutual thing between Master and slave.

Wait, because I don't agree with the thoughts here, in a TPE, it is not always an equal exchange because one has to lead. Only one can be the leader and be in control. Sometimes, I think things are not always fair and sometimes I do not always agree BUT---I know in the TPE who is in charge and I ALWAYS must trust his judgement even if I do not agree or think it is fair. If I am unable to trust his judgment than for me, I have no damn business accepting the power exchange or even being involved in it.

I didn't say it was an equal exchange. I said it was a mutual relationship. A Master cannot take control of a slave that does not want to give it. Big difference to me in equal and mutual. Why would you be involved with someone in the first place if you questioned their judgment?

_____________________________

Sir Pain's pain slut

(in reply to Squeakers)

RE: -=TPE - no limits total submission, fact or fiction?=- - 11/11/2007 1:05:25 PM

Posts: 4004
Joined: 7/14/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Daddyskittin

quote:

ORIGINAL: breatheasone

I'm not sure what to say except that we are both submitted to each other...in all ways...to love each other...care for each other, feed each other. We belong to each other...I wear His collar...He wears mine. He totally my Master...I totally His property, His servant.

I gotcha breatheasone.... I belong to my Daddy, and he belongs to me... the only thing I can say that differs is we are partners instead of master and property... but I think both our relationships are wonderful in showing the diversity of the lifestyle.

You are correct about the beauty of the diversity. I feel compelled to add something here, I am owned property...thats a given. Having said that let me add that I am SO pampered...yes pampered... Master CARES for His property and very well...I have gotten full body massages, cared for while in bed sick with a migraine. Bought lots of little "i love you" presents ie... chocolates, candles and such. I get cuddled. I get hugged, and kissed so tenderly I think I might passout...or so violently that I feel my face is being eaten off lol. I know I am property...but that doesnt mean I feel less than human...or that I'm being a martyr, on the contrary. I feel like 5 million dollars

So that makes my Master a VERY rich man doesn't it?

_____________________________

Romans 10:13,For whosoever shall call upon the name of the Lord shall be saved.
Mike posts in black font
candy posts in pink font

(in reply to Daddyskittin)

RE: -=TPE - no limits total submission, fact or fiction?=- - 11/11/2007 1:07:29 PM

Posts: 489
Joined: 10/3/2006
Status: offline

sweetnurseBBW---I don't think you get what I meant by the gray area. In a TPE one Dom might require that his slave take an enema before anal sex another Dom might like shit on his penis. One Dom might use physical punishment another may use ignoring the slave. One Dom might expect a spotless house another might not care if the house looks like a war zone and would rather his slave do other things during the day besides clean. That is what I meant by the gray areas.

(in reply to sweetnurseBBW)

Page: << < prev 1 [2] 3 4 5 next > >>

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> RE: -=TPE - no limits total submission, fact or fiction?=-

Page: << < prev 1 [2] 3 4 5 next > >>

Jump to:

New Messages	No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages	Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages	Locked w/o New Messages

Post New Thread

Reply to Message

Post New Poll

Submit Vote

Delete My Own Post

Delete My Own Thread

Rate Posts

Collarchat.com © 2024

Terms of Service

0.211