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RE: Body Imperfections - 11/29/2007 5:39:52 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Yourlittlething

And what if the bodyimperfection is to have 1 breast? What would the reaction be?. You can tell someone and their reaction could be :"oh well..it doesnt change who you are", but when the time comes that you have to undress and they acutally be confrontated with the view it is very well possible that they change their mind right away

Wouldn't it be better to tell a person this before being intimate with them? You might be surprised at how little many men would care about this... I know my Daddy wouldn't

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RE: Body Imperfections - 11/29/2007 5:39:53 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: celticlord2112

quote:

ORIGINAL: Yourlittlething
And what if the bodyimperfection is to have 1 breast? What would the reaction be?. You can tell someone and their reaction could be :"oh well..it doesnt change who you are", but when the time comes that you have to undress and they acutally be confrontated with the view it is very well possible that they change their mind right away

I feel much the same.

I think that any imperfection looks far worse when seen in a mirror, or thought about, by those who have them.
I think most people who had had a breast removed or anything that they were really hung up about, would most likely mention it before they got the stage of undressing in front of a potential partner. So it may only be the degree that might shock.

I've seen a few fairly bad scares and they haven't deterred me in any way, either on a personal or photographic level.
But then, for me the whole person is important, not just their looks.

There's no denying that the first time I saw a woman who only had one breast naked I would be struck by that fact. It might even disrupt the mood of that particular moment..

But noticing a particular physical characteristic the first time one encounters it is not the same as being turned off by it. Reality check: If I'm with a woman and she's taking her clothes off, I've already decided that she's sexually desirable. Any major physical characteristic like missing a breast is going to shock, but it's not going to dissuade.

(in reply to celticlord2112)

RE: Body Imperfections - 11/29/2007 5:47:21 AM

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I have had a breast removed due to cancer surgery and have never had a problem. I have now had reconstruction surgery, but feel that if you are totally upfront with any issues before getting into 'a situation' with a partner then they have the opportunity to back out if they want to. I am always honest about my health problems. Perhaps it is different for a Domme - what do others think?

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RE: Body Imperfections - 11/29/2007 6:42:02 AM

Yourlittlething

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quote:

ORIGINAL: juliaoceania
Wouldn't it be better to tell a person this before being intimate with them? You might be surprised at how little many men would care about this... I know my Daddy wouldn't

I did tell the person before (couple of days after we started chatting ) and his first impression was that it didnt matter to him untill the the moment came(after couple of rl meetings) to get intimate then he backed out....so it says more about him then about me ;)

quote:

I think that any imperfection looks far worse when seen in a mirror, or thought about, by those who have them.

Very well said and so true from my point of view.

For me this is a good topic...sort of eyeopener

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RE: Body Imperfections - 11/29/2007 7:02:24 AM

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I have been asked many times before do I want the lights on or off and many men tell me that they find it so much more attractive and usually more enjoyable in bed if the woman does not have body image issues. I always answer lights on even if the lighting is not that mood inspiring just because I think it relaxes the men.

Maybe the submissive in me but how a person can expect another to be comfortable with them and their body if they are not comfortable with it themselves.

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RE: Body Imperfections - 11/29/2007 7:27:40 AM

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Yourlittlething, I might be surprised and wonder why she didn't tell me, but breast cancer is well known now, and not that unusual. In fact I read an article where a woman had a tattoo where her breast had been removed from a mastectomy as a way of owning the change and surviving the cancer.

I know women with breast cancer worry a LOT about how such operations will leave them, if they will be viewed as attractive, or even feel attractive themselves. The right kinda person (and I'm betting there are plenty that would) will see her still as a woman and attractive even then.

(in reply to celticlord2112)

RE: Body Imperfections - 11/29/2007 7:41:12 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: celticlord2112

Scars are tattoos with better stories.

It's trite but it's true.

I'll take an imperfect woman with a lifetime of stories to tell over a perfect specimen who's devoid of life experience.

I know it's still early, but this is certainly the best thing I've read all day. Good job, there.

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RE: Body Imperfections - 11/29/2007 8:08:13 AM

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I know this is a bit off track, but this topic reminds of a conversation I had about designers only using size 8 / 10 models, 'because they make the clothes look good'. It always strikes me that the designers are actually saying they are not very good at their job, rather than other sized models are not perfect

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RE: Body Imperfections - 11/29/2007 8:09:54 AM

Yourlittlething

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Vanatru

Yourlittlething, I might be surprised and wonder why she didn't tell me, but breast cancer is well known now, and not that unusual. In fact I read an article where a woman had a tattoo where her breast had been removed from a mastectomy as a way of owning the change and surviving the cancer.

I know women with breast cancer worry a LOT about how such operations will leave them, if they will be viewed as attractive, or even feel attractive themselves. The right kinda person (and I'm betting there are plenty that would) will see her still as a woman and attractive even then.

I know Vanatru...but for me the situation is more difficult then just the breastcancer and missing a breast...the cancer is metastized so prognoses are an average of 10 years survival...and it is not easy to get involved with a women who's life is limited...but thats offtopic :)

I know there is someone out there for me, and as long as i am happy with myself everything will turn out oke

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RE: Body Imperfections - 11/29/2007 9:27:35 AM

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I was born with a moderately severe birth defect so my scars and warp are right on my face for the world to see. Now my body has some cool scars too :). It was hard growing up with my imperfections, especially in my family which has some amazing beauties in it. (My parents looked like Italian movie stars, honest.)

Bodies change, and beauty is temporary. It's easy to be obsessed with flaws in this shallow society. None of us is the ideal that we would wish for. A person that is going to drop you for the scars you have now is certainly not worth worrying about, since it's reasonably certain that they will leave you when the new scars show up.

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RE: Body Imperfections - 11/29/2007 10:41:35 AM

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A lot of people have body image concerns but their partners seldom have the same concerns. This thread may help: body image

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RE: Body Imperfections - 11/29/2007 1:54:09 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Qithoras

A pair of balls where I was expecting something else would be a dealbreaker, but that would be about it.

Looks are nice, Hell I even have a detailed list on what I like in a girl (Decent build - not a stick, 5"2 - 5"10, red hair, large breasts, large hips, attractive eyes) but that doesn't come into play when I evaluate girls. I'm after their personality, skills and her mind. Looks are generally an added bonus.

LOL! you have it listed.. THEN you repeat it here, all SPECIFIC as hell and you want us to buy that " doesn't come into play when you evaluate girls"?

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RE: Body Imperfections - 11/29/2007 4:47:38 PM

grlneedstolearn

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i would assume it would have to be with some guys but also a female's perception. i am also a 14/16 and i am still very nervous about showing my nakedness to my Dom, though he says he loves it. And that's probably one main reason that's holding me back from actually moving forward in an relationship. i see a lot on the Dom's profiles that they want the female to be height/weight proportiante, and i can understand why so i'm not putting down any Dom who has it in their profile, but it is definitely one thing that i will bypass in the profile.

(in reply to liminalRapture)

RE: Body Imperfections - 11/29/2007 8:22:05 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Jayxkes

I know this is a bit off track, but this topic reminds of a conversation I had about designers only using size 8 / 10 models, 'because they make the clothes look good'. It always strikes me that the designers are actually saying they are not very good at their job, rather than other sized models are not perfect

Wish they'd use size 8/10 models--they are literally using size 0 models--I had a friend who was five foot, 10 inches and weighed 130 and was a size 2 and her agent kept saying "I can't get you real work unless you lose weight..."

And I spose she'd still need the duct tape!

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RE: Body Imperfections - 11/29/2007 8:32:19 PM

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I personally have a lot of issues with the way I look, especially from shoulders to hips. I really don't like it.
BUT I do not bring that insecurity into my relationships. I am always hesistant the first time someone sees me naked, but after that, I know that obviously they are not repulsed by what they see, and I become much more confident.

(in reply to liminalRapture)

RE: Body Imperfections - 11/29/2007 9:05:34 PM

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I hate my body, HATE IT

Whenever I have been intimate enough with someone, and they would see me naked. I honestly believed they were just being polite, and not showing how they really felt.
In my humble opinion...I am MUCH better looking with my clothes on.

< Message edited by breatheasone -- 11/29/2007 9:08:16 PM >

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RE: Body Imperfections - 11/29/2007 9:14:47 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Qithoras

Looks are nice, Hell I even have a detailed list on what I like in a girl (Decent build - not a stick, 5"2 - 5"10, red hair, large breasts, large hips, attractive eyes)

A young man with good taste, I see.

(giggle, giggle)

~ Red

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RE: Body Imperfections - 11/29/2007 9:21:59 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Jayxkes

I know this is a bit off track, but this topic reminds of a conversation I had about designers only using size 8 / 10 models, 'because they make the clothes look good'. It always strikes me that the designers are actually saying they are not very good at their job, rather than other sized models are not perfect

Dya know, I've never looked at it that way and it's so true. Thank you for turning on the lightbulb!!!

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RE: Body Imperfections - 11/29/2007 9:29:10 PM

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From: Adelaide, Australia
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quote:

LOL! you have it listed.. THEN you repeat it here, all SPECIFIC as hell and you want us to buy that " doesn't come into play when you evaluate girls"?

I happen to like to give examples, to share my likes and dislikes. If I wanted to play word games, or try to twist things around my writing style would be vastly different.

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RE: Body Imperfections - 11/29/2007 9:52:43 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Jayxkes

I know this is a bit off track, but this topic reminds of a conversation I had about designers only using size 8 / 10 models, 'because they make the clothes look good'. It always strikes me that the designers are actually saying they are not very good at their job, rather than other sized models are not perfect

Good point...I saw that first hand when I used to be a plus size model. I was amazed at the manufacturers who could have easily made larger sizes that would have looked good, sometimes even better, on the larger ladies.

It was not so much that size 8 (actually it is a bit smaller now) made the clothes look good (although one could say that lack of breasts, hips, butt, etc. would make runway garments fall properly, according to the fashion press), but more so that the retailers had decided that they would not carry larger sizes thinking that all larger size women hated their bodies, therefore would not spend the money on designer clothes. So the fit models are all size 8.

I can tell you first hand, that all the models, skinny or plus size, had body imperfection issues, eating disorders, etc. even though they were considered beautiful and being paid well for it.

The media and advertising world has created unreal expectations of women and so many women fall into the self hating mode. I despaired this past holiday when my 8 year old brilliant, incredibly beautiful, THIN niece asked me if she was too fat. I asked her why she thought this. She said, "well the worst thing you can be is fat, everyone at school said so".

THAT was a sad commentary.

< Message edited by sexyred1 -- 11/29/2007 9:55:09 PM >

(in reply to Jayxkes)

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