Collarchat.com

Join Our Community		 Collarchat.com

Home  Login  Search 

RE: Body Imperfections


View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest
 
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Master >> RE: Body Imperfections Page: <<   < prev  4 5 [6] 7 8   next >   >>
Login
Message << Older Topic   Newer Topic >>
RE: Body Imperfections - 5/7/2008 2:45:14 AM   
GreedyTop


Posts: 52100
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Savannah, GA
Status: offline 		LOL Blushy..I know..what was I thinking??  (but notice I said *IF*)

_____________________________

polysnortatious
Supreme Goddess of Snark
CHARTER MEMBER: Lance's Fag Hags!
Waiting for my madman in a Blue Box.

(in reply to TJsCheekypet)
Profile   Post #: 101
RE: Body Imperfections - 5/8/2008 8:45:18 PM   
lostgirl83


Posts: 81
Joined: 2/8/2005
Status: offline 		Honestly if the man cared THAT much about her appearance (enough that he wouldn't want to be with her b/c of something silly like that) then she shouldn't be with him anyway... Obviously physical attraction is a must, but to love someone is to accept them as who they are as a whole, not just "a hot chick". I think people get entirely too caught up in thinking about themselves and what others will think of them. We're all guilty of it. As long as we are healthy and happy in our own skin, what's the harm in simply being comfortable and accepting who we are? Personally, if the relationship has good chemistry, I tend to not even think of those things and just enjoy whats going on :)

(in reply to celticlord2112)
Profile   Post #: 102
RE: Body Imperfections - 5/9/2008 1:14:38 AM   
variation30


Posts: 1190
Joined: 12/1/2007
From: Alabama
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: subfordommeny

What about a penis that curves up and to the left when erect? I am very self conscious about that


date a girl with scoliosis.


_____________________________

all the good ones are collared or lesbians.

or old.

(in reply to subfordommeny)
Profile   Post #: 103
RE: Body Imperfections - 6/29/2008 1:42:16 PM   
natasha66


Posts: 321
Joined: 10/14/2006
From: NJ
Status: offline 		Every person on this PLANET has flaws, scars, defects, etc....some visible, some not. The answer for me was being comfortable in my own skin.  If you're not comfortable with me THE WAY I AM, scars and all, well, it's entirely on you (speaking in generalities here).  Admittedly it took a long time to get to this point, though. 

_____________________________

"If you bother me again I shall visit you in the small hours of the night and put a bat up your nightdress".
~Basil Fawlty

Collared June 4th, 2008
Love is giving him the power to destroy you, but trusting him not to.



(in reply to celticlord2112)
Profile   Post #: 104
RE: Body Imperfections - 6/29/2008 8:13:16 PM   
SaraZeal


Posts: 144
Joined: 10/2/2007
Status: offline
quote:

Lets be realistic, you have a basic idea of whats underneath even the baggiest of outfits. Once someone is naked, generally their partner is thinking "woo hoo I'm gonna get laid" and not "oh my god look at that horrible scar". 


I beg to differ. No one can tell, from my being clothed, that I'm transsexual. I like it that way too. And with baggy clothes? Even less. I'm speaking of normal non-baggy jeans, and even flimsy (as in thin, not short) skirts.

Oh and yeah, it's a dealbreaker to many. I suspect the proportion of people for whom it's a dealbreaker is lesser on collarme than in general though. It's still high enough.

(in reply to natasha66)
Profile   Post #: 105
RE: Body Imperfections - 6/30/2008 1:11:59 AM   
candystripper


Posts: 3486
Joined: 11/1/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: liminalRapture

Has there ever been a situation with anyone where you thought you liked them, until you saw them naked, and then that was a dealbreaker?

A vanilla friend, who had a major surgery for cancer years ago and has a huge scar on her stomach, but is also thin (a size 4) was telling me she never lets her husband see her naked except in candlelight because she doesn't want him to see her ugly scar and flabby (her word) stomach.

I'm not a size 4--more like a size 14/16 and I had never really thought about it.  The people I've been with have seen me naked in pretty much all light other than klieg lights or search lights.  I figure most men would rather be with someone who has fun with her body and is confident, regardless of the size, but the conversation got me really weirded out.  Is that an issue that women blow out of proportion, or is it an issue for some guys?


Yes, some men have body issues.  Carried to an extreme it is a form of mental illness known as 'body dysmorphic disorder' and like any illness requires professional care.  You see it in body builders and sports figures who destroy their health and sexual prowess with steroids; in men who use bullemia to change weight classes as they wrestle or box; etc.
 
I'd say body image issues tend to plague more women than men, but only because of American culture at large.  When the 'heroin chic' type model started down every designer's runway a few years ago, all the women probably felt some degree of discomfort with their bodies, as they were not anorexic.
 
In my own life, I was gorgeous at 18 and plagued with doubts.  My toes are funny looking.  My butt isn't a bubble.  Etc.  I guess it's normal but it's sad.
 
Now, at 50, I know I'm desirable to a goodly number of men -- no women enchants every man, nor would any same woman want to.  Yes, my body has changed, but who cares?  I certainly don't.  I've never had a man start to make love to me only to find the scar from my C-section and say 'uh, gotta go', LOL.
 
I hope your friend can change her thinking or gets help to do so -- sex is so joyful, anything that impinges on that joy should be addressed.
 
candystripper

< Message edited by candystripper -- 6/30/2008 1:13:26 AM >

(in reply to liminalRapture)
Profile   Post #: 106
RE: Body Imperfections - 6/30/2008 3:36:49 AM   
quickened


Posts: 20
Joined: 6/29/2008
Status: offline 		That, ceticlord2112, was one of the nicest and possibly deepest things I've read in a long while.  Thank you.  I hope to have an opportunity to pass on that sage and lyric bit of wisdom soon.

(in reply to celticlord2112)
Profile   Post #: 107
RE: Body Imperfections - 6/30/2008 3:39:53 AM   
naturalsin


Posts: 92
Joined: 6/24/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: celticlord2112

Scars are tattoos with better stories.

It's trite but it's true.




i love that lil saying. if everyone was perfect then we'd all get bored. i dont have any scars but i had a Dom with alot, i called them His zips.

_____________________________

sinful

(in reply to celticlord2112)
Profile   Post #: 108
RE: Body Imperfections - 6/30/2008 7:35:07 AM   
Coupleofwhats


Posts: 280
Joined: 6/4/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: deliciousmorsel

But that's such a nice thing to hear, that "imperfections" make us unique. Women really get whaled on about body image. The thinner and supposedly better looking, the more you measure up, the worse you feel about yourself- when I was a world ranked georgeous young athlete I would NEVER take my clothes off. Now I'm old, fat, scarred from the athlete thing, and I'll just whip it all off in the dungeon- or wherever- in front of anybody... I don't know why.


So. True.
I think it's the emphasis on achieving perfection and comparing yourself to those around you.

I work as an art model off and on. It's off and on because when I do it for a good stretch of time, my body image goes a bit wonky. When the pressure to have a shallow six pack, tiny waist and perfect thighs is removed, I feel at my sexiest. (And my sexiest is maybe five pounds heavier than I "should" be when I take photos.)

(in reply to deliciousmorsel)
Profile   Post #: 109
RE: Body Imperfections - 7/25/2008 11:43:54 AM   
subinlife


Posts: 263
Joined: 5/20/2008
Status: offline 		Yourlittlething, You have my best wishes for more then the 10 years of life. My Mother has had breast cancer twice and the second time it spread before they caught it. Now my prayers for her life will include you as well, and all who survive this darkness.


Live well and enjoy

_____________________________

Don't Live Faster Then Your Angels Can Fly

(in reply to sexyred1)
Profile   Post #: 110
RE: Body Imperfections - 7/25/2008 12:55:17 PM   
ElanSubdued


Posts: 1511
Status: offline
quote:

TwiztdErotic:
I've always found slight body imperfections to be somewhat endearing. they make the person unique, add to their character. But, then again, I'm a bit of an oddity.


Ditto.

quote:

celticlord2112:
Scars are tattoos with better stories.  It's trite but it's true.  I'll take an imperfect woman with a lifetime of stories to tell over a perfect specimen who's devoid of life experience.


Double ditto.

Elan.

(in reply to liminalRapture)
Profile   Post #: 111
RE: Body Imperfections - 7/25/2008 2:38:18 PM   
silkncarol


Posts: 318
Status: offline 		We all have body imperfections of one kind or another....scars, stretch marks, weight issues...i know i sure do.....and even if you talk to a "Barbie doll" you'll find they have body issues too...and i try to remember that when i'm naked....there is NO perfect body..it's subjective....what one finds attractive and desirable, someone else might not.  I do know that i'm comfortable in my own skin....i can be naked at play parties, stand on a nude beach, skinny dip....my philosophy is this.... Life is too short to deny an activity because of what SOMEONE else might think of me doing it......or perhaps it's more like " Fuck em, look the other way"  ..LOL

My scars and marks are the roadmap of my life....places i never want to forget! 

_____________________________

We attract hearts by the qualities we display. We retain them by the qualities we possess.

Shoes can change your life................. Cinderella

(in reply to ElanSubdued)
Profile   Post #: 112
RE: Body Imperfections - 7/25/2008 7:33:28 PM   
kiwisub12


Posts: 4742
Joined: 1/11/2006
Status: offline 		i have friends who won't go swimming because they won't put a swim suit on.
Talk about limiting your life!

I want to live my life as fully as i want. My body, and what other people may think of it, isn't going to stop me.

(in reply to silkncarol)
Profile   Post #: 113
RE: Body Imperfections - 7/25/2008 7:50:26 PM   
MstrssScarlet


Posts: 633
Joined: 6/3/2005
From: Indianapolis, Indiana
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: liminalRapture

Has there ever been a situation with anyone where you thought you liked them, until you saw them naked, and then that was a dealbreaker?

A vanilla friend, who had a major surgery for cancer years ago and has a huge scar on her stomach, but is also thin (a size 4) was telling me she never lets her husband see her naked except in candlelight because she doesn't want him to see her ugly scar and flabby (her word) stomach.

I'm not a size 4--more like a size 14/16 and I had never really thought about it.  The people I've been with have seen me naked in pretty much all light other than klieg lights or search lights.  I figure most men would rather be with someone who has fun with her body and is confident, regardless of the size, but the conversation got me really weirded out.  Is that an issue that women blow out of proportion, or is it an issue for some guys?


She must be married to someone like my ex if he's not giving her enough reassurance to stop doing that.  I feel much sexier now at 50 with my current husband than I ever did with my ex - even though I was always thin and kept myself looking as pleasing as possible for him.  My sister could never understand why I had such a poor self image.  It relies a lot on what you hear every day.  There are a few men out there that might be that picky, but most of them are just happy to be "getting some". LOL 
Mistress Scarlet

_____________________________

"Say, that hurts a little bit" "And you don't like to be hurt do ya?" "I don't know...kinda fun sometimes if it's done in the right spirit."
Jean Harlow in The Beast of the City

(in reply to liminalRapture)
Profile   Post #: 114
RE: Body Imperfections - 7/25/2008 8:04:40 PM   
Lordandmaster


Posts: 10943
Joined: 6/22/2004
Status: offline 		Unfortunately, you can't control your own physical response.  It would be nice and ideal if we could just ignore ungainly scars or defects, but if they repulse you viscerally, there's really nothing you can do about it.  And it's too bad--I'm sure people miss out on wonderful relationships because they just can't get aroused by their potential partner.  But physical repulsion played an important role in human evolution (among other things, it helped our ancestors avoid mates with congenital defects), and in the end biology will always beat you.

quote:

ORIGINAL: liminalRapture

Has there ever been a situation with anyone where you thought you liked them, until you saw them naked, and then that was a dealbreaker?

A vanilla friend, who had a major surgery for cancer years ago and has a huge scar on her stomach, but is also thin (a size 4) was telling me she never lets her husband see her naked except in candlelight because she doesn't want him to see her ugly scar and flabby (her word) stomach.

I'm not a size 4--more like a size 14/16 and I had never really thought about it.  The people I've been with have seen me naked in pretty much all light other than klieg lights or search lights.  I figure most men would rather be with someone who has fun with her body and is confident, regardless of the size, but the conversation got me really weirded out.  Is that an issue that women blow out of proportion, or is it an issue for some guys?

(in reply to liminalRapture)
Profile   Post #: 115
RE: Body Imperfections - 7/25/2008 8:53:21 PM   
Huntertn


Posts: 715
Joined: 10/7/2006
Status: offline 		All subs have a body..sure some are better than others...but its only in their mind..after all..If I have invited them to play...I dam sure are going to have them..the only thing that would stop me[ in this case] would be her personal hygene.  I cann't stand a person that will Not stay clean...[work doesn't count..]..lol

(in reply to celticlord2112)
Profile   Post #: 116
RE: Body Imperfections - 7/25/2008 10:51:21 PM   
SimplyMichael


Posts: 7229
Joined: 1/7/2007
Status: offline 		People are fucking idiots, and I include myself in that.

I just had a pro photographer friend of mine take some new photos of my son and I.  He hates how he looks and thinks I look like a stud.  I think I look like a fat old man and that he looks like a hot young stud.  Most women think we both look good.

I was at a party with this tall hot big titted blond in this hot little red miniskirt outfit we had picked up at an S&M shop in SF.  She couldn't wear the top because her breasts were too big so she had something else on.  In comes this hot brunette with a thinner body but no tits IN THE SAME OUTFIT!  Both women thought the other one looked better than they did, every man and many of the women would have done anything to be with either one of them.

quote:

  I'm not a size 4--more like a size 14/16 and I had never really thought about it.  The people I've been with have seen me naked in pretty much all light other than klieg lights or search lights.  I figure most men would rather be with someone who has fun with her body and is confident, regardless of the size, but the conversation got me really weirded out.  Is that an issue that women blow out of proportion, or is it an issue for some guys?


TO THIS DAY that body size on a short curvy raven haired chick makes my cock hard.  WHY?  Because I had a partner I spent three years with who was exactly like the woman above, confident and had fun with her body and was to this day one of the most sensual and erotic woman I have EVER known. 

When BossyShoeBitch and I were first talking, I was terrified to send her a picture, sure that hot woman would reject me.  I weighed nearly 300lbs at the time.  I have always been a big guy and even when I was in shape, I don't think I ever weighed in at less than 230 but that 70lbs showed.  BSB didn't see it, she saw HER man, the one she had always wanted.  She has never pushed me to lose that weight although she has been supportive as I have started losing it but ONLY because it was what I wanted.

BSB isn't perfect either, I could list any number of flaws that my eyes see, just as she can see my gut and the flab.  HOWEVER, the heart doesn't see any of that, when I look at her and that smile flashes across her face, she is the only woman I want in the whole world, my heart aches with longing for the most perfect and beautiful woman in the whole world.

We ALL need to let go and try and see ourselves through the eyes of a loving partner (the jerks can go fuck themselves) and let how THEY see us sink in.  It ain't easy but it is quite rewarding.

(in reply to Lordandmaster)
Profile   Post #: 117
RE: Body Imperfections - 7/26/2008 7:44:10 AM   
KnightofMists


Posts: 7149
Joined: 7/29/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: liminalRapture

.  Is that an issue that women blow out of proportion, or is it an issue for some guys?


I suppose it is an issue for some guys... but most are just happy to get laid!  I would say it is mostly an issue blown out of proportion by women.

lastly.. a more personally comment... I think some of the more beautiful things of the human body... Is the imperfections!

_____________________________

Knight of Mists

An Optimal relationship is achieved when the individuals do what is best for themselves and their relationship.

(in reply to liminalRapture)
Profile   Post #: 118
RE: Body Imperfections - 7/26/2008 8:34:20 AM   
BossyShoeBitch


Posts: 3931
Joined: 1/13/2007
From: South Florida
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: SimplyMichael

BSB isn't perfect either, I could list any number of flaws that my eyes see.<snip>


Any number of flaws huh?

< Message edited by BossyShoeBitch -- 7/26/2008 8:38:01 AM >

_____________________________

A clever man can get out of situations a wise man never gets into...
A pessimist sees the difficulty in every opportunity; an optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty.

(in reply to SimplyMichael)
Profile   Post #: 119
RE: Body Imperfections - 7/26/2008 8:40:38 AM   
KMsAngel


Posts: 17415
Joined: 4/13/2007
Status: offline

_____________________________

20 fluffy points!

flightless cherub


(in reply to BossyShoeBitch)
Profile   Post #: 120
Page:   <<   < prev  4 5 [6] 7 8   next >   >>
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Master >> RE: Body Imperfections Page: <<   < prev  4 5 [6] 7 8   next >   >>
Jump to:





New Messages No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages Locked w/o New Messages
 Post New Thread
 Reply to Message
 Post New Poll
 Submit Vote
 Delete My Own Post
 Delete My Own Thread
 Rate Posts




Collarchat.com © 2024
Terms of Service Privacy Policy Spam Policy

0.732