RE: young Dom/Masters with sub/slaves

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RE: young Dom/Masters with sub/slaves - 12/27/2007 8:16:15 PM

goodgirl08

Posts: 145
Joined: 6/11/2007
Status: offline

quote:

Not necessarily -- just as long the 'intentions' are known and not deceive someone as to where they are lead into something which they didn't bargain for. People should know where they stand with partners and or relationships, regardless if it is a 1 hour scene and or 100 year relationship and everything in between.

Calling yourself a Master when all what is promised turns out just to be 'sexual intercourse buddies' and no meat/substances to what is claimed, being in 'the lifestyle'--that is where I have interest with. I don't mind individuals who put up front they want casual play and or relationships. Its being honest.

Exactly, there's nothing inherently wrong with any arrangement as long as both (or all) parties are aware of how things stand. My Master and I agreed to take things pretty slowly, but it's not just casual play. I am glad that he's been honest with me about how things are instead of making promises he can't keep. That's cool.

(in reply to PsyVamp)

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RE: young Dom/Masters with sub/slaves - 12/27/2007 8:49:10 PM

junecleaver

Posts: 1145
Joined: 4/6/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: illawarraMaster

I am very interested in knowing how many young Master/Dom(s) here have sub/slave(s), as i am a Master/Dom who has been classified as "young" and would like to know how many of us have someone to Dominate no matter if they are younger or older than them

I'm 21. My Dominant is 24.

_____________________________

"No one will ever win the battle of the sexes; there's too much fraternizing with the enemy. "
--Henry A. Kissinger

(in reply to illawarraMaster)

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RE: young Dom/Masters with sub/slaves - 12/27/2007 9:57:26 PM

digitalsky

Posts: 8
Joined: 12/26/2007
From: San Diego
Status: offline

i wonder if you are the exception rather than the rule...

(in reply to junecleaver)

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RE: young Dom/Masters with sub/slaves - 12/27/2007 10:34:51 PM

JasonF

Posts: 61
Joined: 5/30/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: junecleaver

I'm 21. My Dominant is 24.

I'm 23, not 24.

Here's another perspective...

I can relate a lot more to what my girl thinks and feels because we're similar in age, and also, since our ages are close, it makes a real long-term relationship (i.e. marriage, since we're engaged) a lot more practical.

There are of course a lot of downsides -- I'll be the first to admit I'm not always the most responsible person, and a lot of "dominant" qualities that most submissives find attractive are the antithesis of being a "college age" man.

The main thing that's important in any relationship though, regardless of age, is that both parties are on the same page. Both people need to know what the status of the relationship is and the strengths and deficiencies of the other person. Although in a perfect world, I know the right things to say and the right things to do, most of the time I don't and that can (and does) lead to trouble, not just in the D/s side of a relationship. What matters is that both parties in a relationship are willing to learn and attack a situation together, and to be patient and determined through the rough times.

What someone wants has a lot of bearing on the situation, too. If a submissive wants a 30 year old master, then it's going to be hard -- if not impossible for someone my age to fulfill those expectations. There's an ongoing joke between myself and junecleaver that I'm "23 going on 30"... and in a way it's true -- I'm a lot more settled than other people my age -- but the truth is that I've only got 23 years of experience in life, and there's a whole lot of fucking up left to do.

I'm glad I've found someone to stumble around the path to enlightenment with me -- and I think it's been, and will continue to be a rewarding experience for us both. I don't think it's for everyone, but I wouldn't want mine to be any different.

_____________________________

Jay
TNG-NC Council Member
engaged to my girl, junecleaver

(in reply to junecleaver)

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Post #: 64

RE: young Dom/Masters with sub/slaves - 12/28/2007 3:13:10 AM

Guilty1974

Posts: 467
Joined: 11/2/2005
From: Den Haag
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: chellekitty

yes, by mere virtue of existance, a Dominant can only have 10 years of experience at and after the age of 28 (assuming they began engaging in BDSM at the age of 18, which we will for the sake of legality)...but if those 10 years are spent futily, with little ability/no interest in furthering their education and just ocassionally engaging in kinky behavior, though my assesment may be harsh - the quantity has little quality...

Quality of experience is hard to measure, because it has a lot to do with compatibility. At 33, I now have some 8 years of experience. I spent the first four experimenting with lots of different things. A bit of flogging, a bit of spanking, a bit of bondage, a bit of power exchange, a bit of... you name it, I tried it (well, with a few exceptions). The last four, I spent mostly on studying Japanese style bondage and studying hard. My partner and I both turned out to have a great passion for it, and we run our own bondage website now. So I have no qualms to say I'm quite experienced in that field. But in other areas I'm still a beginner with only a basic sense of the techniques, and just a bit of experience. On the other hand, I know a few Dominants with 30+ years experience who still can't tie a decent bit of rope. So whether I have "quality" and "quantity" experience thus largely depends on whether you're looking for a bondage lover (yes), a bullwhipper (is an interest of me, but it's something I have very limited experience with, I'm willing to invest time and money in it when I'm ready for it) or a scatplayer (no experience, no interest).

(in reply to chellekitty)

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RE: young Dom/Masters with sub/slaves - 12/28/2007 8:13:51 AM

chellekitty

Posts: 3923
Joined: 3/27/2005
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i agree...my post was in response to another post (by MystressDream) who seemed to have said that "decades of experience" was the only way to get respect from others...hence my post on quality vs quantity....it may take an older Dominant, tied down by things like children and a job that follows him home, decades to get that experience, but a typically more free younger Dominant could, if they wanted to, get the same experience in a shorter amount of time...

or they could both fuck away their time, litterally...

chelle

_____________________________

One thing I know: the only ones among you who will be really happy are those who will have sought and found how to serve. ~Albert Schweitzer

(in reply to Guilty1974)

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Post #: 66

RE: young Dom/Masters with sub/slaves - 12/28/2007 8:21:06 AM

anowner

Posts: 24
Joined: 10/26/2007
From: Little Rock, AR
Status: offline

quote:

If I was wrong, I admit it freely.

Or perhaps I misread you. In any event, I think we're in agreement.

(in reply to MystressDream)

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Post #: 67

RE: young Dom/Masters with sub/slaves - 12/28/2007 10:20:44 AM

MystressDream

Posts: 345
Joined: 7/11/2004
From: Colorado
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: chellekitty

i agree...my post was in response to another post (by MystressDream) who seemed to have said that "decades of experience" was the only way to get respect from others...hence my post on quality vs quantity....it may take an older Dominant, tied down by things like children and a job that follows him home, decades to get that experience, but a typically more free younger Dominant could, if they wanted to, get the same experience in a shorter amount of time...

or they could both fuck away their time, litterally...

chelle

I suggest you re-read what I posted. At no time did I say "decades of experience was the only way to get respect from others". But then, it doesn't matter what my opinion is, you will find some way to pick it apart and twist it. I refuse to engage in your petty arguments, and wish you would just block my posts. You are not capable of reading and understanding them anyway. In exchange I will also block yours.

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Knowledge and experience are wonderful things to share. When we stop asking questions, we might as well "hang it up".

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RE: young Dom/Masters with sub/slaves - 12/28/2007 5:10:13 PM

chellekitty

Posts: 3923
Joined: 3/27/2005
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wow....i don't know who pissed in your post toasties, but i said it seemed that you said that....not a difinitive statement....as an explination of my previous post regarding quantity vs. quality of time in this lifestyle...but you have already blocked me, so you won't be reading this...right?

take care
chelle

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One thing I know: the only ones among you who will be really happy are those who will have sought and found how to serve. ~Albert Schweitzer

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RE: young Dom/Masters with sub/slaves - 12/28/2007 5:44:08 PM

junecleaver

Posts: 1145
Joined: 4/6/2005
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quote:

I'm 23, not 24.

That explains why you are so not 'twue.' In my defense, your own parents thought you were turning 24! ;)

_____________________________

"No one will ever win the battle of the sexes; there's too much fraternizing with the enemy. "
--Henry A. Kissinger

(in reply to goodgirl08)

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RE: young Dom/Masters with sub/slaves - 12/28/2007 8:59:30 PM

ECF

Posts: 24
Joined: 6/24/2007
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This isn't really a place to begin an arguement, but rather a discussion.

I think the point many are trying to make is that youth has it's advantages in its ability to allow more time to focus on "study." This is a stereotype too, but as I said and believe was misinterpreted, stereotypes have a basis that is usually REAL, even though it might not exist in a large percentage of a given populous, it is observed by an individual holding a stereotype in a large percentage of those in said populous they are exposed to.

It doesn't need to be said that some peoples' years of experience won't be as intense as others' less lengthy times, due to a varying level of involvement. I think that is one of the wonderful things about this sort of lifestyle, hobby, interest, or whatever an individual might view it as; each can choose their level and type of involvement.

Learning to master oneself, however, as was brought up four pages of posts ago, is not always a simple task, and hence I suppose my focus in trying to contribute is to say that some manage to do so, and therefore enable themselves to move on to mastering other things (or people) at a younger age than others. But to counter my own point, sometimes self mastery can be mistaken and pre-emptive by the irrogant. Accepting that self betterment is a part of healthy human development at any and every age is another step to mastering oneself.

(in reply to junecleaver)

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