LadyHugs
Posts: 2299
Joined: 1/1/2004 Status: offline
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Dear digitalsky, Ladies and Gentlemen; I wanted to take this section separately to respond to. You wrote: While I agree that proclaiming yourself a dominant doesn't make you one, the fact remains, that is the attitude that feels most naturally to someone. As such, it might be difficult to put yourself in a situation where you bend to anothers will. Tact notwithstanding, if your options are limited, and what you have seen so far is unsatisfactory, where do you turn to for guidance? More specifically, a guidance that leaves you fundamentally intact? Dominants are much more than an 'attitude' in my opinion. Yes, there is an attitude however what is done with it is important as to slice it onto the side of being a supportive, positive and guiding role within the attitude OR, will it be sliced into a domineering, controlling, negative and or surpressing role. Dominants assume an authority role--its only an authority of a slave/submissive/bottom 'allows' and or consents. But, as its been discussed before--Being Dominant does not mean being Dominant to everybody/everyone. There has to be that 'sense' or 'knowing' what and or who is the correct Dominant for you. Of course, people will have their observations and comments however people have to choose who they empower with the role and responsibilities, expectations and everything associated commonly with what a Dominant is/may/would/can be. I also feel attitude gives way through experience and time; to be replaced by 'presence.' An air about someone that isn't attitude based alone or tossing titles about--but something a bit more. As difficult as it may be in a Dominant role to imagine 'yielding' and or 'submitting' to another--there will be times compromises will be made and at times appear as being submissive. These times I think is when a Dominant can be yielding and or submitting themselves for a higher cause than mere appearances but, out of being human and or humble enough to step down or aside for the betterment of himself/herself and or the relationship and or skills, knowledge, application and such. If I am faced with a Dominant who is an authority on an area, I will yield. It is out of respect as well as allowing an authority on an area to have the platform of being out of a peer level into a teaching/mentoring/educational level. This doesn't mean I am less of a Dominant. I just know how to empower others so they can maintain their status as to be my teacher/mentor/educator/guide. It is that little unknown power exchange between Dominants and a lot of times, the desire for self improvement and learning more than when we started and or refreshing our knowledge/skills/education. As far as reaching to other Dominants to elevate your Domination in many different ways, while keeping you fundamentally Dominant; one can look into attending training academies such as Butchman's and or Master Taino's Training Academy for "Masters." One can look into attending Master-slave conferences, where workshops are held and attended by many individuals in many stages of their own journey. This is also an option for slaves as well; as to attend academies and or Master-slave conferences. The focus isn't so much on the S&M but, the journey of becoming a Master/slave and how to work in relationships with your partner (be it slave or Master); and this also applies to Dominants and submissives. It causes one to be 'real' with themselves. Old or new to it all--you leave with more than you entered with. Just some thoughts. Respectfully submitted for consideration, Lady Hugs
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