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RE: should I accept it? - 1/1/2008 6:43:49 PM

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Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
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quote:

Guilty as charged. What about you?

I am not guilty of this sort of hypocrisy because I do not call people names like "immature". I may say that their post is immature, or that I do not agree with them, but name calling is something I do not believe I have done in over 10,000 posts. There is a difference between attacking someone's views or opinions and attacking the person. I try to remember to separate them, although I have been accused of not doing so. I have asked those people to point me to a post where I called someone a name.

I am not perfect, I have been flamed and flamed back... but there are certain things I do not do, and labeling someone as "immature" is not one of them.

Lately I have had several people unload on me because they did not like my opinions, or even worse, I had the audacity to ask them questions about their posts that seemed snarky... btw, when someone is being really snarky, they hate you to ask for clarification of their points...smiles.

These are just words on a page, we do not have the tone of voice or anything else to go on to know what is meant by them. I do take other people's posting histories into account when I read their posts, whether they are intentionally mean spirited, often judgmental, or down right snarky, makes a difference in how I take something someone has written... hence my posts on this thread.

Better to ask someone to clarify their points than to take offense... I have been trying to do that lately, only to have people flame me even worse for asking for that clarification

It is only a message board...

and sambaslilgirl... if you read this, just want you to know... flaming me in private emails and blocking me from responding is a very childish action. I am not reading your emails anymore, they will just be deleted unread... Happy New Year

_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

(in reply to lusciouslips19)

RE: should I accept it? - 1/1/2008 6:51:08 PM

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Joined: 9/8/2007
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I think some are on an attack bandwagon. i know.. Its exciting, its addictive and venting is sooooo excitting.

Folks, Its never personal and always preception. I continue to respect people in the way that I have no hard feeling toward anyone regardless of what they have said to me. Many I have at times disagreed with. But i do admire many of those peoples spunk( you listening laurell3

)

(in reply to juliaoceania)

RE: should I accept it? - 1/1/2008 7:08:00 PM

Posts: 2012
Joined: 5/14/2007
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i dont think its a bandwagon....fact is, in my humble opinion only, women are all bitchy at heart.....i include my self in that.....and its not necessarily a bad thing....

bunches of women together equals catfights, whether on here or in a workplace or in a home.....and yes i know there are exceptions, but theres a reason a bunch of women living together for a good while seem to all get on the same menstrual cycle.....im convinced its to try to harbor all the bitchiness into fewer days, some universe magic or such.

and bitchy may not be the correct word, but its close enough.....were all likely to stick out our claws and fangs when we feel strongly about something, including being insulted. whether the intent was there to insult or not doesnt really matter.

i been sick for a couple weeks and just had my first herbal therapy in a while, so that may make no sense, but im too buzzed to hit delete

_____________________________

it aint no good til it hurts just a little bit....jimmy somerville

in those moments of solitude, does everyone sometimes think they are insane? or is it just me?

(in reply to lusciouslips19)

RE: should I accept it? - 1/1/2008 7:13:22 PM

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Joined: 8/9/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: lusciouslips19

quote:

You've been seeing him for a couple months and he says these type of things and that's somehow not attaching fast enough? I don't quite get that line of thought. Take the gift, tell him what a formal collar means to you and be a little more realistic about the fact you've only known the guy a few months and he's going out of his way to be real and truthful to you. Is this about you not getting the collar you want? I truly don't understand what you have to be upset about after a couple of months.

This isnt what I am upset about. The thing that upset and disappointed me has not been mentioned. The question was at this juncture in the relationship should I be accepting a collar from him that has no meaning behind it and is being given like a fasion accesory?

Hi luscious, I have not chimed in yet because I was surprised that you posted this. You usually have great advice for others. In this case. I am also a bit confused. Only you can assign meaning to a collar. Only you can assign meaning to your relationship and where it may or may not be going.

I think you may just be feeling insecure about this perhaps? You mentioned yours and his ages as if that was relevant. I can see your point in that you don't want to waste a ton of time. But...you really cannot rush anything like this and you cannot force anything.

I was more concerned, truthfully, with the few lines he wrote in your emails. They sounded....somewhat sterile to me. But again. it is not me. it is YOU that needs to figure out yours and his feelings and only you do can decide what the collar means.

I can tell you I have never been officially "collared" but have certainly been "collared" in my relationships. I never needed a proof, fashion accessory or otherwise.

Does that make sense?

(in reply to lusciouslips19)

RE: should I accept it? - 1/1/2008 7:15:11 PM

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Joined: 9/8/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: SeeksOnlyOne

i dont think its a bandwagon....fact is, in my humble opinion only, women are all bitchy at heart.....i include my self in that.....and its not necessarily a bad thing....

bunches of women together equals catfights, whether on here or in a workplace or in a home.....and yes i know there are exceptions, but theres a reason a bunch of women living together for a good while seem to all get on the same menstrual cycle.....im convinced its to try to harbor all the bitchiness into fewer days, some universe magic or such.

and bitchy may not be the correct word, but its close enough.....were all likely to stick out our claws and fangs when we feel strongly about something, including being insulted. whether the intent was there to insult or not doesnt really matter.

i been sick for a couple weeks and just had my first herbal therapy in a while, so that may make no sense, but im too buzzed to hit delete

I just got my period yesterday. Hows about you?

(in reply to SeeksOnlyOne)

RE: should I accept it? - 1/1/2008 7:34:46 PM

Posts: 9792
Joined: 9/8/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: sexyred1

quote:

ORIGINAL: lusciouslips19

quote:

You've been seeing him for a couple months and he says these type of things and that's somehow not attaching fast enough? I don't quite get that line of thought. Take the gift, tell him what a formal collar means to you and be a little more realistic about the fact you've only known the guy a few months and he's going out of his way to be real and truthful to you. Is this about you not getting the collar you want? I truly don't understand what you have to be upset about after a couple of months.

This isnt what I am upset about. The thing that upset and disappointed me has not been mentioned. The question was at this juncture in the relationship should I be accepting a collar from him that has no meaning behind it and is being given like a fasion accesory?

Hi luscious, I have not chimed in yet because I was surprised that you posted this. You usually have great advice for others. In this case. I am also a bit confused. Only you can assign meaning to a collar. Only you can assign meaning to your relationship and where it may or may not be going.

I think you may just be feeling insecure about this perhaps? You mentioned yours and his ages as if that was relevant. I can see your point in that you don't want to waste a ton of time. But...you really cannot rush anything like this and you cannot force anything.

I was more concerned, truthfully, with the few lines he wrote in your emails. They sounded....somewhat sterile to me. But again. it is not me. it is YOU that needs to figure out yours and his feelings and only you do can decide what the collar means.

I can tell you I have never been officially "collared" but have certainly been "collared" in my relationships. I never needed a proof, fashion accessory or otherwise.

Does that make sense?

yes, it does. i have been insecure about it. before it was going to be a light hearted thing and I was fine with it. but after a spat where I felt upset because he was not going to spend new years eve with me. I said things to him. His reasons for not getting togehte r was rational, his son is in town for a short time and he will not see him again for probably months and he has felt the son and the promises made to him were important. He had a car to work on this. Today. I felt like not seeing me on new years was a symbolic gesture. But really for 2 months he has been a good boyfirend andd he did say he was going to work harder to put in his share in the future as far as the effort as I do alot of driving. I just took out clips from the e-mail. I did spend thanksgiving with him. So I have been reacting emotionally and he said he understands where I am coming from. Do I think he is capable of a deeper relationship? Yes. He has been in contact with me everyday and til his son came home for a few weeks, I was seeing him twice a week. hes a good guy. hes given me used computers to give to my students and a laptop for my son. he has drivien 2 hours back and forth during the day to pick up keys I dropped in a restaurant thereby taking time away from work and having to stay late because of it. He doesnt take committment lightly and was a loyal and dutiful husband. He was in the military so loyalty and honor are things he lives by. He would do almost anything to help a friend

Because of the honest expression and laying out of feelings thats when the collar and its meaning became more serious to me. I do need to clarify its meaning and decide whether I can accept it after his answer. But Itold him I wanted a foo foo poodle type collar with swarafsky crystals or something like that! So obviously i was being light hearted about the whole thing when i was talking about it.

(in reply to sexyred1)

RE: should I accept it? - 1/1/2008 7:42:16 PM

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Joined: 9/8/2007
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OK. I ADMIT IT! I WAS A RAGING CAULDRON OF PMS AND MENSTRUAL EMOTIONS.

"Let it bleed, let it bleed, let it bleed, let it bleed. Simple words of wisdom, let it bleed"
(sung to the tune of let it be by the beatles)

< Message edited by lusciouslips19 -- 1/1/2008 7:59:45 PM >

(in reply to lusciouslips19)

RE: should I accept it? - 1/1/2008 7:51:06 PM

Posts: 2012
Joined: 5/14/2007
Status: offline

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K7AKqCZ3R0g&NR=1

edited to add better version

< Message edited by SeeksOnlyOne -- 1/1/2008 7:57:23 PM >

_____________________________

it aint no good til it hurts just a little bit....jimmy somerville

in those moments of solitude, does everyone sometimes think they are insane? or is it just me?

(in reply to lusciouslips19)

RE: should I accept it? - 1/1/2008 7:52:26 PM

Posts: 6155
Joined: 12/15/2007
From: i'm headed to HIM...
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lol luscious....good for you for being able to laugh and move on, that shows some character on your part!

(in reply to lusciouslips19)

RE: should I accept it? - 1/1/2008 8:23:29 PM

sambamanslilgirl

Posts: 10926
Joined: 2/5/2007
From: Chicago, IL
Status: offline

that's fine - you don't have to read my emails

oh btw you were never blocked - it was all in your head

_____________________________

...2011 - year of the fabulous rock star life ...and i do it so well...

...announcing Mr. & Mrs. British Petrol ...yeah, marrying into oil is slick business...

(in reply to juliaoceania)

RE: should I accept it? - 1/1/2008 8:26:05 PM

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Joined: 9/8/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: sambamanslilgirl

that's fine - you don't have to read my emails

oh btw you were never blocked - it was all in your head

I have recieved error messages when trying to send out e-mails. So I can see that that could definately be true.

happy New year. I know 2008 will be a great year for you.

(in reply to sambamanslilgirl)

RE: should I accept it? - 1/1/2008 8:38:31 PM

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Joined: 2/24/2005
From: Pennsylvania
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If we could all get our periods in the same week if would make life much simpler. No dueling hormones!

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“If you want to live a happy life, tie it to a goal, not to people or things.”
- Albert Einstein

(in reply to lusciouslips19)

RE: should I accept it? - 1/1/2008 8:41:42 PM

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Joined: 12/16/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: KatyLied

If we could all get our periods in the same week if would make life much simpler. No dueling hormones!

Are you freakin kidding me??????????? NO MAN alive would want to be anywhere if every woman got their period at the same time...it'd be like open season on men 1 week a month...lol :)

Cougar

_____________________________

" You become responsible forever for what you have tamed." ~ Antoine de Saint-Exupery

Man is still man, and even frozen in a block of ice, our singular purpose is still to get a nut.

(in reply to KatyLied)

RE: should I accept it? - 1/1/2008 8:47:08 PM

sambamanslilgirl

Posts: 10926
Joined: 2/5/2007
From: Chicago, IL
Status: offline

mail server is going down (computer tech geek) however check your Sent Mail to make sure it's getting through

yep looking forward to this year

Happy New Year to you too

_____________________________

...2011 - year of the fabulous rock star life ...and i do it so well...

...announcing Mr. & Mrs. British Petrol ...yeah, marrying into oil is slick business...

(in reply to lusciouslips19)

RE: should I accept it? - 1/2/2008 9:21:34 AM

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Joined: 11/19/2007
Status: offline

If you have any doubts than something isn't right and you are absolutely correct to question the situation.

(in reply to lusciouslips19)

RE: should I accept it? - 1/2/2008 9:46:28 AM

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Joined: 11/26/2007
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Lucious Lips - what about just relaxing? You remind me of a poodle, jumping here and there, nervous about the what ifs. You have a guy you've been seeing... it hasn't been very long. He got you a gift. He may or may not even give it to you. You may or may not like it. Who knows? He is making you happy. Be in the happiness. Enjoy it. Revel in it. And when the moment comes, take a deep breath and ask whatever question it is you need to ask. And ask with kindness and sincerity in your heart. And it will be fine.

peace

_____________________________

Yes, I am a wonton hussy... and still sweet as 3.14

(in reply to KatyLied)

RE: should I accept it? - 1/2/2008 10:54:15 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: sunshinemiss

Lucious Lips - what about just relaxing? You remind me of a poodle, jumping here and there, nervous about the what ifs. You have a guy you've been seeing... it hasn't been very long. He got you a gift. He may or may not even give it to you. You may or may not like it. Who knows? He is making you happy. Be in the happiness. Enjoy it. Revel in it. And when the moment comes, take a deep breath and ask whatever question it is you need to ask. And ask with kindness and sincerity in your heart. And it will be fine.

peace

Maybe thats why a poodle collar is so right for me!

(in reply to sunshinemiss)

RE: should I accept it? - 1/2/2008 11:00:16 AM

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you know Tiffany's actually sells a nice lil dog collar.. pink or blue... i'm just saying *winks

peace

_____________________________

Yes, I am a wonton hussy... and still sweet as 3.14

(in reply to lusciouslips19)

RE: should I accept it? - 1/2/2008 11:05:21 AM

Posts: 9792
Joined: 9/8/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: sunshinemiss

you know Tiffany's actually sells a nice lil dog collar.. pink or blue... i'm just saying *winks

peace

This is the one I want!

http://www.pawprintzpetboutique.com/dog-collars-pink-crystal-hearts.htm

< Message edited by lusciouslips19 -- 1/2/2008 11:06:15 AM >

(in reply to sunshinemiss)

RE: should I accept it? - 1/2/2008 11:22:23 AM

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Joined: 12/16/2007
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Honestly after 3 days of this thread I can actually say that it sounds like you need to figure out what it is that you want from him. If you dont know by now what you want, then chances are you probably never will. And no collar "play" "real" or imagined is going to make any difference.

Cougar

_____________________________

" You become responsible forever for what you have tamed." ~ Antoine de Saint-Exupery

Man is still man, and even frozen in a block of ice, our singular purpose is still to get a nut.

(in reply to lusciouslips19)

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