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RE: should I accept it? - 12/31/2007 3:46:54 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: sambamanslilgirl

i personally wouldn't accept the gift because (a) i would see it as a fashion statement since the relationship isn't clearly defined and (b) i haven't submitted to the person and/or accept him as my dominant.

if it was me, i would say "thanks but no thanks"

And I wouldnt be getting engaged to someone after knowing them since september. Point is, its not you, its me. I say this respectfully. i wish you the best. Obviously you know you are on the same page with yours and I dont know yet if I am on the same page with mine.

< Message edited by lusciouslips19 -- 12/31/2007 3:47:54 PM >

(in reply to sambamanslilgirl)

RE: should I accept it? - 12/31/2007 3:49:28 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: CalifChick

quote:

ORIGINAL: eevin

On the other hand, its considered ill mannered (rude, to be specific) to refuse a gift of any sort.

I disagree. There are many times where it is perfectly acceptable to refuse a gift. The trick is in the manner of refusal.

Sometimes a gift is not a gift, or is so much more than a gift.

Cali

I agree with Cali 100% Especially in a situation like this. After all this is something equivalent to a wedding band to alot of people. If everyone that was ever asked to marry said yes?......I shudder to think. :)

Cougar

_____________________________

" You become responsible forever for what you have tamed." ~ Antoine de Saint-Exupery

Man is still man, and even frozen in a block of ice, our singular purpose is still to get a nut.

(in reply to CalifChick)

RE: should I accept it? - 12/31/2007 3:51:51 PM

sambamanslilgirl

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next time i shall highlight "i personally" for you

you posted here asking for advice on what to do ...don't go getting all holier-than-thou snippy with me, missy.

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RE: should I accept it? - 12/31/2007 3:55:06 PM

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How bout just have it mean something as simple as the beginings of a new relationship or something along those lines. It doesn't have to be some super grand meaning. Since you don't know what you really want it to mean, but yet have it mean somthing.. Find something simple like that.

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(in reply to lusciouslips19)

RE: should I accept it? - 12/31/2007 3:55:38 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: sambamanslilgirl

next time i shall highlight "i personally" for you

you posted here asking for advice on what to do ...don't go getting all holier-than-thou snippy with me, missy.

I said i was speaking RESPECTFULLY. since when does a post snip? there is no tone here. I am not judging you but you said "if it was me". thats not advice because it is not pertinent to me.

Its like trying to compare apples to oranges.

< Message edited by lusciouslips19 -- 12/31/2007 3:56:29 PM >

(in reply to sambamanslilgirl)

RE: should I accept it? - 12/31/2007 3:57:08 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: sambamanslilgirl

next time i shall highlight "i personally" for you

you posted here asking for advice on what to do ...don't go getting all holier-than-thou snippy with me, missy.

Oddly I agree with her, your response and personal attack about her engagement wasn't really appropriate to the comment she made which was pretty specifically her opinion. Are you a bit touchy about this relationship? You aren't going to find your answers here, stop looking so hard and talk to the guy.

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(in reply to sambamanslilgirl)

RE: should I accept it? - 12/31/2007 4:00:13 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterofScyn

How bout just have it mean something as simple as the beginings of a new relationship or something along those lines. It doesn't have to be some super grand meaning. Since you don't know what you really want it to mean, but yet have it mean somthing.. Find something simple like that.

thats the best idea . I obviously want it to mean something but not the whole enchilada. I'm sure that would work for him too.

(in reply to MasterofScyn)

RE: should I accept it? - 12/31/2007 4:00:43 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: weneedyourhelp

Ok, here goes, and believe me I am not trying to be rude by any means, but..........TALK TO HIM!!!!! Ask what page he is on and see where you are. If you are close than you know you have something to work towards....If not, then the hard decision HAS to be made. But before anyone here can really help you, you need to know EXACTLY where you stand. :)

Cougar

And I quote myself..........

_____________________________

" You become responsible forever for what you have tamed." ~ Antoine de Saint-Exupery

Man is still man, and even frozen in a block of ice, our singular purpose is still to get a nut.

(in reply to weneedyourhelp)

RE: should I accept it? - 12/31/2007 4:09:14 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: laurell3

quote:

ORIGINAL: sambamanslilgirl

next time i shall highlight "i personally" for you

you posted here asking for advice on what to do ...don't go getting all holier-than-thou snippy with me, missy.

Oddly I agree with her, your response and personal attack about her engagement wasn't really appropriate to the comment she made which was pretty specifically her opinion. Are you a bit touchy about this relationship? You aren't going to find your answers here, stop looking so hard and talk to the guy.

Well thats just silly to think I was attcking her. if that was the case i could say she was judging me for the possbility of accepting this collar as a gift without him being my official dominant. If this was the case then the whole 3 year collar before the final collar would not exist.

(in reply to laurell3)

RE: should I accept it? - 12/31/2007 4:12:59 PM

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Your response was inappropriate to what she said. Her engagement has nothing to do with her response. You asked for opinions and she gave one that was actually respectful and in turn you crticised her relationship, the fact that you said "with respect" means not a damn thing. I would like to sell that line to a few judges I know. "With all due respect Your Honor you are an idiot", yeah...nope...still going to land you in jail

_____________________________

I cannot be defined by moments in my life, but must be considered for by the entirety of my existence.

When you fail to consider that I am the best judge for what is right for me, all of your opinions become suspect to me.

(in reply to lusciouslips19)

RE: should I accept it? - 12/31/2007 4:17:21 PM

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quote:

Oddly I agree with her, your response and personal attack about her engagement wasn't really appropriate to the comment she made which was pretty specifically her opinion. Are you a bit touchy about this relationship? You aren't going to find your answers here, stop looking so hard and talk to the guy.

Well thats just silly to think I was attacking her. if that was the case i could say she was judging me for the possbility of accepting this collar as a gift without him being my official dominant. If this was the case then the whole 3 year collar before the final collar would not exist. Point is by her saying "I personally" Its not advice that can be used by me because it does not pertain to my views and role in this lifestyle. thats what the comment was about. It was me showing the difference between the disparaging idea in views. we are talking about similar timelines but different accelerations of speed in differeing views on relationships.

< Message edited by lusciouslips19 -- 12/31/2007 4:22:30 PM >

(in reply to lusciouslips19)

RE: should I accept it? - 12/31/2007 4:18:08 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: laurell3

Your response was inappropriate to what she said. Her engagement has nothing to do with her response. You asked for opinions and she gave one that was actually respectful and in turn you crticised her relationship, the fact that you said "with respect" means not a damn thing. I would like to sell that line to a few judges I know. "With all due respect Your Honor you are an idiot", yeah...nope...still going to land you in jail

Actually laurell you have to say," With all due respect Your Honor, in my opinion, you are an idiot....lmao....but i thought that was good humor. :)

Cougar

_____________________________

" You become responsible forever for what you have tamed." ~ Antoine de Saint-Exupery

Man is still man, and even frozen in a block of ice, our singular purpose is still to get a nut.

(in reply to laurell3)

RE: should I accept it? - 12/31/2007 4:26:03 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: laurell3

Your response was inappropriate to what she said. Her engagement has nothing to do with her response. You asked for opinions and she gave one that was actually respectful and in turn you crticised her relationship, the fact that you said "with respect" means not a damn thing. I would like to sell that line to a few judges I know. "With all due respect Your Honor you are an idiot", yeah...nope...still going to land you in jail

Well perhaps I see the fact that she was being a tad judgemental with me "If it were me, I'd say thatnks but no thanks"" line. Indicates that i needed to use her judgements on relationship. So I RESPECTFULLY disagree with you, your honor.

< Message edited by lusciouslips19 -- 12/31/2007 4:28:11 PM >

(in reply to laurell3)

RE: should I accept it? - 12/31/2007 4:33:42 PM

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From: Northern (yet still part of the South) Virginia
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As many others have said, talking to the gentleman you are involved with is the best place to start. A collar means different things to different people. What it means for the two of you may not be the same as it does to someone else. If it's something serious, means a commitment, has a symbolic meaning, or is just for fashion... you need to find out what that is. If it's something that you both can live with, accept it. If it isn't, then have him put it away until you are both on the same page.

Just my 2 cents.

(small typo)

< Message edited by Daddysredhead -- 12/31/2007 4:35:45 PM >

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(in reply to weneedyourhelp)

RE: should I accept it? - 12/31/2007 4:35:40 PM

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quote:

How bout just have it mean something as simple as the beginings of a new relationship or something along those lines. It doesn't have to be some super grand meaning. Since you don't know what you really want it to mean, but yet have it mean somthing.. Find something simple like that

THis is advice that I can actually use. In the beginning she was giving advice based on her perceptionsand past. But eventually she realized things were not necessarily what she thought. Sometimes people dont read the whole thread and make snap judgements. But here, although her views on collars are completely different than mine and she is having one tatooed, she gave me advice that is pertinant to me.

Thats is someone truly looking to give me advice without judgement.

(in reply to laurell3)

RE: should I accept it? - 12/31/2007 4:38:28 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Daddysredhead

As many others have said, talking to the gentleman you are involved with is the best place to start. A collar means different things to different people. What it means for the two of you may not be the same as it does to someone else. If it's something serious, means a commitment, has a symbolic meaning, or is just for fashion... you need to find out what that is. If it's something that you both can live with, accept it. If it isn't, then have him put it away until you are both on the same page.

Just my 2 cents.

(small typo)

Your two cents my friend is worth way more than 2 cents. I was actually thinking along the same lines.

(in reply to Daddysredhead)

RE: should I accept it? - 12/31/2007 4:41:51 PM

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Glad to be helpful in some way. =)

Have a good new year, LL19.

~ DRH

_____________________________

Founding Member, Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair-a's

Do not challenge me to a battle of wits & come to fight unarmed.

Are you really that stupid? ~ Bless your heart

13th doughnut

(in reply to lusciouslips19)

RE: should I accept it? - 12/31/2007 4:41:59 PM

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Joined: 12/16/2007
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The worst thing I said was TALK TO HIM !! if that's not pertinant to you then you've got more problems than ANYONE here can help you with.

Cougar

_____________________________

" You become responsible forever for what you have tamed." ~ Antoine de Saint-Exupery

Man is still man, and even frozen in a block of ice, our singular purpose is still to get a nut.

(in reply to lusciouslips19)

RE: should I accept it? - 12/31/2007 4:45:23 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: weneedyourhelp

The worst thing I said was TALK TO HIM !! if that's not pertinant to you then you've got more problems than ANYONE here can help you with.

Cougar

I was not referring to your post Sir Cougar. I was answering Laurell3. Why did you take my remark so personally? I was making a point about someone saying I was being judgemental of another poster when I was pointing out the differences in our views

By the way, I have valued your advice.

< Message edited by lusciouslips19 -- 12/31/2007 4:46:54 PM >

(in reply to weneedyourhelp)

RE: should I accept it? - 12/31/2007 5:01:13 PM

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It seemed as though you were singling one person out as giving good advice, which it was, but I have seen alot of good advice coming from more than one person. And it felt like an attack on everyone else, of whom I am a part of.

Cougar

_____________________________

" You become responsible forever for what you have tamed." ~ Antoine de Saint-Exupery

Man is still man, and even frozen in a block of ice, our singular purpose is still to get a nut.

(in reply to lusciouslips19)

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