Taik
Posts: 307
Joined: 8/5/2005
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Sooo I'm gonna step out on a limb here as a male sub...
I havn't been around these forums for very long, but I have noticed this topic all over the place, I wonder how many of the subs out there actually take or have taken the time to read them. Anyways,
quote:
ORIGINAL: MsHoney2you
IMO many men enter a complete fantasy in their own minds, they have it planned out in minute details only they forget to share that information with anyone else. Somehow Dommes are supposed to 'know' what it is they are wanting from us. I guess mind reading is somewhere on the list of becoming a Dominant (in his mind only) yet I deal in realities.
Yes your probably right. I will even go so far as to say I was like that once (jeez another thing that makes me feel old). The guys who are like this will contiune to be like this until something in thier world wakes them up to the fact that no one will ever know anything about them or thier desires unless they are willing to share. Perhaps I'm being a prick in saying so but I think it has something to do with retarded social skills and never being in an enviorment where they are forced communicate with others in an intelligent and consitent manner in order to survive and accomplish goals. Until they are put in such a position they will continue to keep their thoughs and desires to themselves, and only express them in impulsive yet incoherant dialouge that defeats thier own goals with its lack of actual information and its soul focus on the indivduals personal sexual satisfaction. Which in my opinion are what most the problem subs that Domme's are experincing are after anyways.
quote:
ORIGINAL: MsHoney2you
My partner or submissive will be a strong person, able and willing to challenge anyone should the need arise. I want him standing tall, defending me if need be, and always, always proud to be with me. I want a man of substance, not a worm. A man's man if you will, with personal power that reflects he is HONORED to submit to me. How cool is that? To be able to respect your submissive? To know he could snap your back in a heartbeat yet you have control over him because he gives it?
Be yourself in all things,
Ms Honey
I think this is what most Domme's want, for that matter most women including the vanilla. Unfortunatly most male subs (imho) think that Dommes want a weak spineless doormat, because in thier own personal fantasy's thats what they imagine a Domme would want. Until they do some soul searching and figure out who and what they are, they are not going to have the confidence, self pride, and backbone you seek. Additionally they won't realize that thier weakness and wormish behavior is unwanted and unwarrented until they break free of the self imposed limits of thier own fantasy's, take some time to read and realize that thier fantasys are just that, and that women in the real world want a man with selfrespect and who can carry himself on his own.
What other sub's need to realize especially male ones, is that communication is everything. If you are looking for more then just sexual gratification of your internalized fantasy's then I suggest you take a fair amount of time and think about who you are. Otherwise (and I know someone said this already) you can find plenty of Pro Domme's who will gladly take your money to give you what you want without the relationship. However if you really are looking for an honest and complete relationship then you need to learn yourself inside and out (and no I dont mean playing with yourself!). You need to figure out just what it is in life you want. If you find that you really want a life relationship with a Domme, and you understand that it's going to be fair portion of vanilla with some toppings on the side, then go ahead and contact 1 or 2. But you darn well better be prepared to hold a real conversation, to share YOUR views on topics and to ask questions of your own. You need to take the time to get to know them and the things they enjoy before you even consider exploring your fantasys and kinks. You also need to realize that the relationship is NOT going to revolve around YOU and your pleasure, get that through your head now. Its going to take time so don't spam every Domme you see with an e-mail. Pick and choose 1 or 2 and write them a PERSONALIZED letter, explaining why your writing them. Make sure to include information about yourself and ask her questions about things that your intrested in and can hold a conversation about. That dosn't mean your kinks and fantasy's though, for heavens sake don't include any of them or anything even close to the topic. Keep it clean open and honest, if things go well and it progress farther down the road you'll get to the point that you can share those things.
All in all, you need to speak to her/him as real person you just met, you need to take the time to get to know them and you really really need totake time to work on communication skills and hold consitently decent conversations which should hold thier intrest.
Taik
Ehh sorry for the last paragraph there, its kinda off topic since the post is in reguards to LeatherRose's frustration's. But I though I'd include it since hopefully some of the subs your having problems with will actually read these forums and learn something.
*edited for some spelling and gammer I missed on the first review, I'm sure I missed some this time too*
< Message edited by Taik -- 8/24/2005 7:12:12 PM >
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