quote:

ORIGINAL: SolangeRichards

I also found the "incredibly non erotic to me" comment interesting from another viewpoint.  The poster runs a pay web site that seems to have a large part of the content devoted to feminization.

I'm aware that she has posted that she prefers forced femme on a personal basis, but she does not make the full extent of her views concerning sissies in general clear to prospective ones that might be interested in joining her site.

Let me correct that.  She does not make them aware that she does not care for willing sissies plain to them when they examine the free areas of the site.  After they pay, perhaps then they find out.  I don't know.  I kept my money in my purse based on her comments here.....

quote:

ORIGINAL: cloudboy

quote:

ORIGINAL: AAkasha

You really like talking for people. Manly men? Because I have a fetish for hockey? I think I went through a pretty long gothboy, pretty boy, androgynous phase (like, my entire 20s - those on usenet remember my extreme fixation) and then kind of was middle of the road for awhile, and while my husband is quite athletic and manly, I still can't help but stare at a "pretty boy." This has nothing to do with sissies, forced femme, or crossdressers. I like *confident* men.


Akasha

No, not because you have a fetish for hockey or because you married an athletic, manly man. (Although that's pretty compelling evidence.)

But if you want to quibble over the term "manly men," I'll retract it and simply post what you said about yourself instead so you can't eel out of my point:

quote:

One of the challenges I see with sissies is that they can be high maintenance and fixated as submissives (or bottoms), and it is limiting and can be incredibly non erotic to me. It certainly doesn't push many of my femdom buttons when it's 100% voluntarily and with glee that a man dresses and adopts feminity, I am more drawn to the type that have to be put into panties kicking and screaming.

Hence, your "solutions for sissies" is really how they need to conform to you and what you like, as opposed to actually finding someone who likes them for who they are. Using this compromising approach is not without its merits given the dating realities out there, but still, you confess to finding sissies "incredibly non erotic to me," and then at the same time you are giving them advice. Not only that, but the point of orientation of your advice is "I don't find you erotic."

As usual, you don't spot any disconnect there whatsoever.

quote:

ORIGINAL: SolangeRichards

The point I was making Akasha, is that you DO operate a pay site targeting the overall TV/TG/TS community and pops up on many search engines concerning feminization, and you freely post here that outside of your personal interest in a very narrow segment of that community the rest strikes you as "incredibly non erotic".

That's fine of course, you are VERY entitled to your interests and opinions.

I'm entitled to mine as well.  Since there is a sizable share of the TV/TG/TS community that may be approaching feminization from a completely different viewpoint from you, why not make clear to them how you feel about it all before signing them up to your pay site?

That way, those who don't share your viewpoints on feminization but still seek a pay site can spend their money with someone that better reflects their interests....

quote:

ORIGINAL: SolangeRichards

Whose panties are in a bunch here?  Mine?

I beg to differ.

I think what might be bothering you is simple.  You run a pay site catering to an interest that by your own admission you have a very limited interest in.  That's not unusual in the TV/TG/TS community by any stretch of the imagination, or on the web in general.  There are any number of sites offering services of every stripe for pay whose operators have little, if any, interest in the subject at hand.  Why not be upfront on the site itself?  Why not be as forthcoming to potential clients there as you are here?

I think the sand in your craw right now is related to the fact that someone is calling you to task for this, this time.  Someone, like me, who posts that I think I will keep my money to myself rather than pay you to provide a service you are not wholely invested in, causes you to become apoplectic and begin hurling terms like whiney, selfish and fixated at me, and Cloudboy.

I posit that it is you that is whiney, whiney about what appears to be a fragile standing in the TV/TG/TS community.  I posit that it is you that is selfish, selfish about the money you charge that community .  I further posit it is you who is fixated, fixated on your bottom line.

Enjoy those trips for hire to Victoria's Secret.  Someday those clients will find out they can just walk through the door there and purchase anything they want for themselves at a substantial discount from your rates.....

1. bondage bunnies
   
2. masochists
   
3. chastity
   
4. house cleaners
   
5. rubberists; and
   
6. men with any other kink

1. gets tied up in rope
   
2. experiences pain
   
3. gets locked in chastity
   
4. cleans my house
   
5. dresses in rubber
   
6. enjoys any other kink,

1. rope
   
2. pain
   
3. chastity
   
4. service
   
5. rubber
   
6. any other kink

• Rubberists spend more on their wardrobe than sissies.  So what, if you love rubber?
  
• Bondage bunnies can be fixated on bondage.  So what, if you love bondage?
  
• House cleaning slaves are unbelievably high maintenance (too much bloody hard work for me, thank you!).  So what, if you want the house cleaned?
• Exhibitionists are all about "look at me!"  So what if you love exhibitionism/voyeurism?

quote:

ORIGINAL: AAkasha
To me, it doesn't seem that difficult to separate the concept of "forced feminization" from men who crossdress all the time and are looking for a femdom who will just accommodate them - and the femdom is sort of another accessory.

quote:

Sissies?  The ones that dress up all the time, have a wardrobe that costs more than mine?  The ones that want to talk in a girl voice, have a sassy "look at me!" attitude, the ones that I cannot *force* because they are already dressed up?  It's just not the same for me.  Sure, I can "enjoy" it on some level - entetainment, amusement, button-pushing - but do I get a burning lust to do it? No - because at the core, the style of domination that makes me wet includes some bending of will, some sense of vulnerability, some conflict of desires (on the part of the sub), some subtle shame/embarrassment.  Sissies are just too self indulgent to go there because they LOVE to be dressed up and their dressing up is often the most important part of their play.   I know quite a few men that only dress up for me.  That's incredibly hot.  There's a man right now at the gym wearing panties for me, and trust me, he's not going to be running out to buy more lingerie any time soon - unless I tell him to.  That thought fuels my fantasies and lust to be sure.  That's the method in which I can eroticize feminziation.

quote:

ORIGINAL: SolangeRichards

The reason I mentioned all three groups was because I noted search engine entries for the site under those three headings...

That's not surprising.  A number of sites in general serve the three segments.

quote:

ORIGINAL: LotusSong


 
But one the positive side.. if a Domme is having difficulty in finding  play partners..all she has to do is to get out the word that she specializes in sissy's and she'll get a flood of them.
 
 

quote:

ORIGINAL: MsCfromMelbourne

This issue is not sissies, it is kink compatibility.

quote:

ORIGINAL: MsCfromMelbourne

The way I see this debate, it is about "forced" vs "willing" BDSM ... In truth, I don't personally need to make someone do something "kicking and screaming" to find it erotic. I like to have consent ("100% voluntarily").

What we're really talking about is a continuum of willingness. Contrast "forced bi" with "forced feminization." The fantasy of force and nonconsent is hothotHOT, but it is a fantasy. Reality being what it is, you cannot FORCE someone to suck cock if he absolutely doesn't want to suck cock. You cannot FORCE someone to wear panties if he absolutely doesn't want to wear panties. 

I think this dynamic goes both ways, incidentally. Sometimes it can be difficult for dominants to admit that they like a certain kind of kink. And make no mistake--enjoying feminized men is a whole, delicious kink of its own. You're a male dom and you want two femsubs? Perfect. EVERY guy wants two women! But a femdom wanting a femmy man? Not acceptable; feminine men have cooties, and REAL women want manly men. Besides, it's so much hotter to FORCE someone to do something!

Some people only into domination don't really understand or like sadism, masochism, bondage, role playing and fetishes.  But these kinks are equally legitimate, popular and - often - much more fun!!!!!!   Live and let live.

Easier said than done, of course. There's a good deal of YKINOK in BDSM as a whole. Don't we just love to argue and exclude others from our little groups?  That, plus the unfortunate prejudice against transgendered people in the world at large, makes this issue especially potent here.

quote:

ORIGINAL: SubmissiveAK
What I want to know is are there any Domme's who want sissies?

quote:

ORIGINAL: AAkasha

I'm directing this post more toward men who have feminization at their core - they crossdress for their own pleasure, they have a sissy name or feminized picture on their profile, they are fixated on sissification and all things feminine more than anything else. 

Perhaps a new approach that may work better as you search for a femdom is to try to show her how your crossdressing or feminine side can be fun or rewarding for her.  One of the challenges I see with sissies is that they can be high maintenance and fixated as submissives (or bottoms), and it is limiting and can be incredibly non erotic to me. It certainly doesn't push many of my femdom buttons when it's 100% voluntarily and with glee that a man dresses and adopts feminity, I am more drawn to the type that have to be put into panties kicking and screaming.

But if that's not what you are, you have to think about what would make your kink fun for a femdom.  I was talking with a kinky girlfriend of mine about a CD we used to know, and "she" was a riot.  The approach that was different is that this person made was to bring us into his sissy circle, so to speak, by purchasing fun lingerie for us, shoes, make up, etc.  Now, purists will get agitated perhaps that this "spending money on the femdom" approach is basically pay-for-play, and in a sense, it is.  But sissies spend a tremendous amount of money on their OWN clothes, shoes and accessories as is.  They know what it costs.  Why not share in those costs and celebrate feminity with your femdom -- in a sense that you can form a playful bond, and then the play is integrated from there, whether it be shopping trips or dress up nights with a little roleplay added in.

A sissy that states in their profile they like to make their feminization FUN for a femdom may get a second look - propose shopping at Sephora together or getting a pedicure.  State that you want to celebrate feminity, and in doing so, your femdom partner will enjoy being pampered and sharing in those shopping experiences. 

Sissies, by the nature of their fetish, are locked into having to invest in their kink.  I propose they carve out part of that budget and turn it into a pleasurable experience for both.  With our "sissy friend," it was only a matter of time before we were including "her" in our girls'shopping trips.  The other great thing about this sissy is her taste was fabulous and she could be a personal shopper.  What a joy to have during a shopping quest for a perfect outfit. 

If you have a fetish, find a way to make it *useful* to your femdom partner, if she is not directly aroused by it.  The desire to dominate, to share passion and lust, will come from the friendship and affection built around it.  Then the sissy fetish won't seem so selfish and focused on self; instead, it will be seen as something that two people can share.

Akasha

quote:

ORIGINAL: AAkasha


I have a pretty close relationship wit those subs on my site who enjoy (forced) feminization and they know what I am into.

Akasha