RE: Hair-ed Limits...

Join Our Community

Collarchat.com

Home Login Search

RE: Hair-ed Limits...

View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Submissive >> RE: Hair-ed Limits...

Page: << < prev 1 2 [3] 4 5 next > >>

Login

Message

<< Older Topic Newer Topic >>

RE: Hair-ed Limits... - 1/26/2008 12:35:51 PM

Posts: 1992
Joined: 12/3/2006
From: Tallahassee, FL, USA
Status: offline

greetings nothing4ever,

in response to the issue of nails - i like getting manicures and pedicures, but i could never afford it and it hasn't ever been particularly realistic with my job. for awhile there, i kept my nails manicured because he likes it, but eventually because wearing nail polish at my current job is almost impossible, he ended up allowing me to stop wearing it. for me, it's something i'd love to be able to do all the time, too - but i'm poor and i work in food service ;) i try to paint my toenails and occasionally my fingernails to please him, though.

respectfully,
annabelle.

_____________________________

a'ishah (the artist formerly known as annabelle)
i have the kind of beauty that moves...

(in reply to nothing4ever)

RE: Hair-ed Limits... - 1/26/2008 12:39:25 PM

Posts: 6155
Joined: 12/15/2007
From: i'm headed to HIM...
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: nothing4ever

I am so glad this could make someone think!

I think that more people might have an underlying issue as to why they will not cut their hair.

My sister refused to cut hers for years because my mother always kept hers short & she didn't in anyway want to be related back to my mother.. even with something as small & insignificant as a hair cut.

It makes me wonder if other people have similar small issues they are not so aware of?

Or for some is it simply that way to hang onto some control in their life & not fully hand themselves over to another.

When I cut my submissive's hair he was upset with me, even went as far as to tell me he hated it.. but was able to let go enough that my satisfaction was worth him having it cut so short. Maybe this should be a lesson... & something I don't take so much for granted.

my mother has always hounded me for my longer hair...she has the type of hair that is very short and is glued together with tons of hairspray. i don't appreciate her or anyone criticizing me over how i choose to keep my hair, (i don't think things like a hairstyle should be a big deal to someone important in my life, it is what i choose and it makes me happy so keep your nose out of it). okay, minor rant there...another thing to think about.

that being said, why does anyone online care about the hair other people choose to have?

< Message edited by christine1 -- 1/26/2008 12:49:52 PM >

_____________________________

i am woman! er, godzilla! hear me roar!

http://wavcentral.com/cgi-bin/log/log.cgi?id=2856&sound=/sounds/movies/godzilla/roar.mp3

He's the "boom" overwhelming...

He is my Master, my lover, my best friend my everything.

(in reply to nothing4ever)

RE: Hair-ed Limits... - 1/26/2008 12:49:25 PM

Posts: 16
Joined: 5/29/2006
Status: offline

But if you belong to someone does it not become their business?

We did not approach this as caring what people online do with their hair, we wondered why submissives that we may want to have a relationship with refuse to cut their hair.. not just random people walking down the street.

(in reply to christine1)

RE: Hair-ed Limits... - 1/26/2008 12:49:59 PM

Posts: 47
Joined: 11/28/2005
Status: offline

I suppose the point was to get people to examine why hair was so important. I understand the pride and the time and care, the extension of self, the deeper issues, and yet at the same time ponder over WHY that is, possibly moreso than anything else, especially considering all the often cruel and debasing things that take place in a BDSM relationship. I honestly think for some people, it should be listed as a hard limit.

Also, to me it's akin to the ultimate test of submission. I couldn't imagine having a sub so set in her ways that she wouldn't even be willing to try it.

(in reply to christine1)

RE: Hair-ed Limits... - 1/26/2008 12:51:36 PM

Posts: 9779
Joined: 1/12/2006
From: Texas
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: ForcefuIHands

This is a bit of a random post but after talking to a fellow Dominant about our own choice of hair styling, an interesting subject arose. There's a bit of an unusual hard limit out there, and it deals with hair.

Let me say, I am a fan of short hair on girls. Not that I expect anything as sheared as a buzz cut, but I like to see the shoulders and neck. A good rule would be enough to get a fist full. But, in reflection, every sub has posted an objection to the idea of getting a hair cut. I find this suddenly amusing. There have been less objections to piercings, tattoos, spanking, humiliation, nasty names, and roughly every depraved thing one can imagine. The minute you suggest cutting someone's hair, welcome to a new limit. I suppose a piercing heals, but a bad haircut feels like forever?

I think they should add this to the limits lists, and in curiosity, I want to know if anyone else has stories related to their locks, or the loss thereof. So, question, girls: Would you let a Dominant choose your hairstyle?

Good thread. I didn't think it would have as much depth and substance to it as it does so I'm pleasantly surprised. :)

In the Bible, Samson's hair was associated with strength. Cut it off, lose your power. Quite often there is an assumption made that submissive equals weak, so for many, hair is going to be a sign to ourselves that we are not weak, but, in fact, possess great strength.

My other point is that even when completely nude, hair still gives you some sort of covering .. even if it's very short, it's still something. I don't think the majority are going to be all that comfortable being so nude before the world. There are, of course, exceptions and my guess would be that such a stark nakedness would be more traumatic for a female than a male because it's so unusual to see bald women. Bald women are looked at, exposed and you have nothing to hide behind when you are hairless. There's no protection left.

Now, to be that vulnerable before your own dominant is one thing, but cutting off all your hair means you are naked to the whole world and that's another kettle of fish.

Personally, if Himself wanted to shave my head, it's not an issue. In fact, it's something which I've asked for and been refused and I do have good hair. I just like being naked. ::grins::

Celeste

edited to add: Your hair covers your skull. Your skull protects your brain, the most sensitive of all our body parts. Remove the hair, and you've removed a layer of protection to the most intimate part of yourself .. your mind.

< Message edited by BitaTruble -- 1/26/2008 12:57:28 PM >

_____________________________

"Oh, so it's just like
Rock, paper, scissors."

He laughed. "You are the wisest woman I know."

(in reply to ForcefuIHands)

RE: Hair-ed Limits... - 1/26/2008 12:52:31 PM

Posts: 6155
Joined: 12/15/2007
From: i'm headed to HIM...
Status: offline

i see your point nothing4ever and forceful , but i was mostly just venting over my mother....i do understand the original OP question, i just don't know what my answer is other than getting huffy about it....at least i'm being honest.

edited to add that this post has at least made me think about a few things even though i will probably always wear my hair to suit myself.

< Message edited by christine1 -- 1/26/2008 1:41:27 PM >

_____________________________

i am woman! er, godzilla! hear me roar!

http://wavcentral.com/cgi-bin/log/log.cgi?id=2856&sound=/sounds/movies/godzilla/roar.mp3

He's the "boom" overwhelming...

He is my Master, my lover, my best friend my everything.

(in reply to nothing4ever)

RE: Hair-ed Limits... - 1/26/2008 1:00:14 PM

Posts: 16
Joined: 5/29/2006
Status: offline

BitaTruble.

I want to thank you so much for your input! What you wrote makes so much more sense to me than the "I would never do it & that's that" approach. I had never looked at it in that way.

It is amazing how much has come out!

Again I want to thank you all!

:]

(in reply to BitaTruble)

RE: Hair-ed Limits... - 1/26/2008 1:11:21 PM

collaredncontent

Posts: 81
Joined: 1/21/2008
From: GA, USA.
Status: offline

On the flip side...would any of us guys really want to grow our hair out for a woman? Some guys like their hair long and that's not a bad thing, but I think I'd die trying to keep care of hair any longer than my ears. I have enough trouble remembering to shave in the mornings much less try and figure out what all those shampoos and hair styling products go with what and yadda yadda. So I can appreciate if a woman wants to keep her hair long, though I wouldn't want my hair that long...ever.

-Brian.

(in reply to sweetwenchie)

RE: Hair-ed Limits... - 1/26/2008 1:23:56 PM

Posts: 3292
Joined: 7/29/2005
Status: offline

Yes, he has authority over how Alandra and I wear our hair. For me, it isn't much of a big deal. I enjoy doing quite a few different things with my hair. Much of the time, he will allow us to make the decision but he has veto power. Right now he wants me to keep it a little longer. If he were to have me cut it short; it would not be a big deal. I have had very short hair several times and I love it.

Knight's Kyra

_____________________________

"Passion... it lies in all of us. Sleeping, waiting, and though unbidden, it will stir, open its jaws, and howl. It speaks to us, guides us... passion rules us all. And we obey..." ~Angelus

(in reply to ForcefuIHands)

RE: Hair-ed Limits... - 1/26/2008 1:32:46 PM

Posts: 181
Joined: 9/6/2007
Status: offline

My ex insisted I not cut my hair. I've always had longish hair, but he wanted it longer. And it looked really lousy. Very subtly, over time. But that single act of not cutting my hair meant that I looked dumpy.

I think, personally, it is a big mistake for men to ask women to do anything that amounts to 'letting herself go.' She'll lose some of her self-confidence. He'll lose some of his attraction to her and she loses the confidence, even if he likes that one feature more.

My hair is actually really attractive and it is the one part of me that has always been attractive. I can do shoulder-length to shoulder-blades and still stay confident. But push it farther than that in any direction and it comes at a huge cost. I might agree to it, but I don't think the cost-benefits equation is a good one.

After my ex and I broke up, I cut my hair (of course) and he didn't even realize I'd cut it but said how fabulous I looked, and why didn't I look so good when we were together. Well, duh!

< Message edited by liminalRapture -- 1/26/2008 1:35:57 PM >

_____________________________

"Ring the bells that can still ring. Forget your perfect offering. There's a crack in everything. That's how the light gets in." Leonard Cohen.

(in reply to sweetwenchie)

RE: Hair-ed Limits... - 1/26/2008 1:37:35 PM

Posts: 5279
Joined: 9/28/2006
From: Warm Springs, GA but i live in San Francisco.
Status: offline

Ok, this is starting to sicken me. Since when has whether or not you back down on a hard-limit considered a test of submission? Yeah; a dominant may push, cajole, tease, torment, reason or convince a submissive on their hard-limits. But, in the end it is up to the submissive to decide. Hard limits should be discussed and set in place before a contract, collar, or any other finalized symbol of ownership; if you have a problem with someone's hard limits, you have had plenty of time to figure that out and should stop wasting the time of you and your submissive and move on.

Saying that not backing down on a hard limit means that a submissive is not completely submissive is like a teenaged boy telling his girlfriend "If you love me, you'll go all the way with me." It is downright weak, manipulative and dispicable. There are much better ways of attempting to get a submissive to do your will.

edited to add: the above is only my opinion, just happens to be a very strong opinion of mine

< Message edited by darchChylde -- 1/26/2008 2:03:56 PM >

_____________________________

I'm the man your mother warned you about...
if only to keep me to herself.

I'm a male dominant switch whose experienced as a poly sub to a dominant woman
.
Where the fuck do I post?

Proud Owner and Protector of chyldeschylde.

(in reply to kyraofMists)

RE: Hair-ed Limits... - 1/26/2008 1:38:23 PM

Posts: 265
Joined: 3/20/2007
Status: offline

FAST REPLY:

The main reason for keeping control on my hair is this:

My hair is intimate to me. Only he is allowed to touch it. when I am upset or distraught I can be calmed by him stroking it. It is a very personal & close thing to let someone "pet" me. It is very hard to have the same with short hair... not much to stroke.

I hate having short hair, it does not suit me & I feel exposed (not in a kinky fetishy way either).

So long it stays & happy I am. Colour isnt important but length most deffinately is

(in reply to liminalRapture)

RE: Hair-ed Limits... - 1/26/2008 1:41:39 PM

Posts: 988
Joined: 7/29/2005
Status: offline

I have been growing my hair for the last 9 years. I have put my dedication into making sure its healthy as well maintained at its length. I'm sorry but for someone that might not be in my life that long cutting my hair isn't worth it. To get long hair, you have to put effort into it. Many wont cut it because 9 years 10 years even 2 years is not worth giving up for the whims of someone that might only be in your life a few weeks. Even if you think its going to be forever, things change. How would you feel if you did something for years at a time, changed it for another person, and they then in return, leave only a few weeks after you destroyed your years of work?

-La kitten

(in reply to sweetwenchie)

RE: Hair-ed Limits... - 1/26/2008 1:42:28 PM

Posts: 3035
Joined: 1/18/2007
Status: offline

Greetings,

While I have never had the experience of a Master asking me to cut my hair, I have had the reverse. I prefer my hair shorter and blonder for the most part. SJ wants it longer and darker, therefore it is being grown out and darkened. At this point, there isn't anything (I can think of) that I would not change if he wanted it changed.

My ex asked me to grow my hair about 8 years ago after a particularly short and platinum buzz I had gotten. He said it had been years since I really had it long. So I grew it out. Then in 2006, I buzzed it again and it felt sooooooooooo good. Life is like that sometimes. It's good to get a fresh start on things every once in awhile.

I have been prone to changing my hair style and color frequently, though. It sounds like most women here have not, which may account for the difference in attitude towards hair proprietary issues.

well wishes ~ fairer than she

_____________________________

The Nuclear Bomb of Awesome, rockin' the MoFo Hawk, still a bad-ass with a bouncy attitude, and spreading joy as a predator in Hello Kitty panties

Recently honored with membership in the West Coast Assholes

(in reply to ForcefuIHands)

RE: Hair-ed Limits... - 1/26/2008 1:50:06 PM

Posts: 3292
Joined: 7/29/2005
Status: offline

darchChylde,

Your posts says in reply to me, but I don't think your post was meant for me specifically. Is that correct?

Knight's Kyra

_____________________________

"Passion... it lies in all of us. Sleeping, waiting, and though unbidden, it will stir, open its jaws, and howl. It speaks to us, guides us... passion rules us all. And we obey..." ~Angelus

(in reply to darchChylde)

RE: Hair-ed Limits... - 1/26/2008 1:54:56 PM

Posts: 2479
Status: offline

Since i was 13, i've only cut my hair for job interviews... i've had a good run these past few years, so that means i haven't cut it since January of 2000. It's become very much a part of my identity, so to require that it be cut would be an immediate and dramatic change to how i appear to everyone who sees me. Plus, it's the only thing i ever get complimented on, and that means something as well.

i wouldn't say it's a hard limit, but it's something that i wouldn't do without a very deep level of D/s connection (or, of course, unemployment

)

(in reply to kyraofMists)

RE: Hair-ed Limits... - 1/26/2008 1:55:59 PM

Posts: 13029
Joined: 2/24/2005
From: Pennsylvania
Status: offline

quote:

Would you let a Dominant choose your hairstyle?

Yes. And I have. I grew my bangs out. I didn't think I'd like my hair like this but I do.

_____________________________

“If you want to live a happy life, tie it to a goal, not to people or things.”
- Albert Einstein

(in reply to ForcefuIHands)

RE: Hair-ed Limits... - 1/26/2008 1:56:49 PM

Posts: 5279
Joined: 9/28/2006
From: Warm Springs, GA but i live in San Francisco.
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: kyraofMists

darchChylde,

Your posts says in reply to me, but I don't think your post was meant for me specifically. Is that correct?

Knight's Kyra

not at all kyra, i sincerely apologize for any confusion; you are a dear, lovely person and i have always enjoyed your posts when i have come across them

it's my fault, i never point out when it's simply a fast reply... i was responding to a number of people who were saying much the same thing, which happens to be one of my big pet peeves

again i apologize

_____________________________

I'm the man your mother warned you about...
if only to keep me to herself.

I'm a male dominant switch whose experienced as a poly sub to a dominant woman
.
Where the fuck do I post?

Proud Owner and Protector of chyldeschylde.

(in reply to kyraofMists)

RE: Hair-ed Limits... - 1/26/2008 1:58:30 PM

Posts: 732
Status: offline

I personally like long hair and longish nails on a guy. My man says no coz it drives him nuts and he doesn't like the look. Why should my opinion on my hair length not be as important? I know what suits me better and what I feel more comfortable/confident with. Hair length, hair colour, nail length, polish or not...yada yada yada. More control issues and micro-management? I call them personal preferences and figure out whether we can live with the way they are or not.

_____________________________

There is no such thing as can't unless it is followed by yet

It is the meaningless little acts that become meaningful in the doing.

The people that mind don't matter and the people that matter don't mind.

(in reply to kyraofMists)

RE: Hair-ed Limits... - 1/26/2008 2:00:50 PM

Posts: 2918
Joined: 8/1/2006
From: Leeds, UK
Status: offline

were I owned ... I would take guidance on my hairstyle .. and obviously try not to do anything against His wishes .. but it goes together with the whole package of the dynamic i seek that i would be able to sort my own hair/clothes etc

but i mean yanno ... those Doms/Masters that are minted .. and will spend a small fortune taming wild tumbling curls into a smooth glossy hairstyle at the salon ... feel free to spend the money on me ... but if you want me to do it myself ,... be prepared to have me unavailable for an hour a day while I attempt to Domme my locks

_____________________________

proudly wearing the blue collar of consideration to DK Leather, Leatherdykeuk, and LeatherEagle of the UK KRueL Leather Family

veritas, respectus honorque in corio

(in reply to petdave)

Page: << < prev 1 2 [3] 4 5 next > >>

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Submissive >> RE: Hair-ed Limits...

Page: << < prev 1 2 [3] 4 5 next > >>

Jump to:

New Messages	No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages	Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages	Locked w/o New Messages

Post New Thread

Reply to Message

Post New Poll

Submit Vote

Delete My Own Post

Delete My Own Thread

Rate Posts

Collarchat.com © 2024

Terms of Service

0.125