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RE: Hair-ed Limits... - 1/26/2008 3:39:25 PM

Posts: 41
Joined: 12/11/2007
From: Tennessee
Status: offline

My Owner does have control ultimately over how I wear my hair. Granted being asked to cut it short is a non issue because I am NOT allowed to cut it short lest he cut his in revenge(I would cry). My hair which reaches my shoulders is in truth shorter than he'd prefer but it had to be done because my hair was damaged. The way I see it he owns me completely(heart,soul,mind,and body) so my hair is no exception.

_____________________________

I have found myself, good friends(family of the heart rather than blood), and an amazing love.
Proudly Owned by Gizzo!!!!!!!!

(in reply to sweetwenchie)

RE: Hair-ed Limits... - 1/26/2008 3:54:44 PM

Posts: 10717
Joined: 10/28/2007
From: California
Status: offline

FR

I'm gonna shave all yer heads and ask questions later!

Okayyyyy, maybe not. But it sure is tempting.

Couple of things... I cannot take seriously a comparison between cutting nails and cutting hair... nails don't take years and years to grow back. If I took years, in some cases ten years, to do something, I think I would be a bit reluctant to undo all of that effort in one fell swoop.

I have had "the hair talk" with every man I've ever been serious with, or even any man who has contacted me and made a remark about hair or asked me how long mine was.

"The hair talk" involves me explaining that my hair is extremely thick and extremely heavy (although amazingly enough, not curly so I don't even get that beauty). When I grow it long (and I foolishly have done so to please some people even though I knew what would happen), I get terrible headaches, and quite often at that. If I wash my hair in the morning, and do not spend a solid 30 minutes or more drying it, it will still be wet underneath by my neck at the end of the day. If I continue to grow it longer and longer, the weight of it will literally pull it out of my head in places, which results in open wounds.

So no, I will no longer grow my hair for anyone, and I cannot imagine that anyone who truly cares about ME would ask me to go through that. Right now it is a couple of inches long on the top, and short over the ears and at the back toward the neck (any longer at the neck and it gets frizzy). For comparison, Princess Diana started wearing her hair in this sort of a style after her divorce, although she tended to keep it a bit longer on the bottom.

Would I love to be able to grow it out and have someone wrap his fingers into it, at the base of the neck, and pull my head back and growl into my ear? Fuck yes I would. Sigh. I do miss that.

Cali
(envious of all the long haired girls)

_____________________________

AKA "The Undisputed Goddess of Sarcasm", "Big Bad Cali" and "Yum Bum". Advisor to the Subbie Mafia, founding member of the W.A.C. and the Judgmental Bitches Brigade, member of the Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair-a's and Team Troll

(in reply to fullofgrace69)

RE: Hair-ed Limits... - 1/26/2008 3:59:28 PM

Posts: 5746
Joined: 7/11/2007
From: Austin Texas
Status: offline

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7dyl0j3WU6Y

Aw crap I lost my entire post because my browser froze. Anyway. I've had short hair, hair I could sit on. I'm boggled by the strong emotion showed here by some because for me hair has never been a big part of my image be it inner or outer. I do understand that it is a part of ones outer image, that it often reflects social or economic standards but aside from that hair is hair is hair to me. Thankfully.
If he wanted me to change it drastically I would ask that we both go to a salon that has a computer program showing my face with the different styles, that way there would be no surprises.

< Message edited by camille65 -- 1/26/2008 4:02:48 PM >

_____________________________

~Love your life! (It is the only one you'll get).

(in reply to ForcefuIHands)

RE: Hair-ed Limits... - 1/26/2008 4:05:05 PM

Posts: 2652
Joined: 10/31/2006
From: Portland, Me via Las Vegas Nv
Status: offline

my minor 2 cents. having just got my hair to about 3 inches shy of where it was when i shave my head nearly 2 years ago I can say i would never ever cut it again. I've had it long and I've had it short. Right now its in between enough for a nice handful. When I had it long down to my breats it was heavy but fun and hated to see it go that being said if my then Domme had even breathed a word about cutting it I would have died and respectfully said no and maybe a few other colorful things. Thankfully myself, my domme and our bfs who were brothers were all in agreemnt that my hair was great the way it was and as long as it didn't interfer with anything it stayed.

I agree with others who have said your hair being apart of your identity and changing it does change the presceptions others have of you. You can still be a good complete and total slave and still want to maintain control over your hair.

_____________________________

"Sometimes I'm sorry doesn't cover it," Acheron

"Its not the size of your fwoosh, Its how you use it", Richard

http://kinkyqueer.net/forum/index.php

(in reply to CalifChick)

RE: Hair-ed Limits... - 1/26/2008 4:28:16 PM

Posts: 16
Joined: 5/29/2006
Status: offline

Wowie!

I am amazed at how this thing has exploded into spews of rudeness & condescending comments!

Thanks to everyone who replied to this with an honest answer.. I think we both got a little bit of an answer to our question.

Alas this has been a reminder as to why I do not post.. because people cannot remain civilized.

In the end it is just hair.. take that as you would like!

Again I offer you all a sincere thank you for your input!

N4E

(in reply to CrimsonMoan)

RE: Hair-ed Limits... - 1/26/2008 4:31:58 PM

Posts: 168
Joined: 5/25/2005
Status: offline

I love short hair or shaved heads or boy-haircuts on women. I've got a serious perv to shave someone's head in a punitive manner, although I've never actually done it. One of those things you kind of save up and savour the idea of. Needless to say, I'm not going to see eye to eye with anyone with a hair hard limit.

(in reply to ForcefuIHands)

RE: Hair-ed Limits... - 1/26/2008 4:35:36 PM

Posts: 1185
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: nothing4ever

In the end it is just hair.. take that as you would like!

Oh I disagree. To me, a woman's hair is part of her identity. Long, short or none, it still helps to make her who she is.

(in reply to nothing4ever)

RE: Hair-ed Limits... - 1/26/2008 4:39:44 PM

Posts: 168
Joined: 5/25/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: kallisto

quote:

ORIGINAL: nothing4ever

In the end it is just hair.. take that as you would like!

Oh I disagree. To me, a woman's hair is part of her identity. Long, short or none, it still helps to make her who she is.

I agree. Thus the desire to cut it off.

(in reply to kallisto)

RE: Hair-ed Limits... - 1/26/2008 4:53:48 PM

Posts: 1185
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: tigerstyle

quote:

ORIGINAL: kallisto

Oh I disagree. To me, a woman's hair is part of her identity. Long, short or none, it still helps to make her who she is.

I agree. Thus the desire to cut it off.

The desire to cut it off would then be to change her identity?

(in reply to tigerstyle)

RE: Hair-ed Limits... - 1/26/2008 5:18:57 PM

Posts: 181
Joined: 3/17/2007
Status: offline

Would I let a dominant CHOOSE my hairstyle? Only if he were a professional hairdresser.
With that being said, I am one of those, it's only hair, it grows back women. I've had my hair short and long and colored and not throughout my life.
Interesting thing is, last year when Daddy and I met, my hair was fairly long; longer in fact that it had EVER been. Problem was, it wasn't healthy because of my own doing, and was literally coming out in clumps every time he pulled it or whatever. I ended up going to Vegas for a girls weekend after we'd been together a few months and saw all these really cute short hairstyles and found myself wanting to cut my hair, but thought that Daddy wouldn't approve. I ended up asking him about it shortly after that and his response was to go ahead and cut it. I think it was about that time that he told me he had woken up in the middle of the night one night choking on my hair!
It's grown out a bit since I originally cut it last year, and while I don't think I'm going back to keeping it that short, I do plan on keeping it more to the shorter side than the longer.

As for the controversy and the hard limit aspect of it, isn't it as "simple" as saying if you don't want to cut your hair, you don't become involved with a Dom who wants you to cut it? Why do those women who have valid reasons for wanting to leave their hair as is have to be made to feel in some way lesser than those who are willing to change their hairstyle? Does having scat as a hard limit make me somehow less submissive than someone who finds scat acceptable? I don't think so.

(in reply to ForcefuIHands)

RE: Hair-ed Limits... - 1/26/2008 5:31:39 PM

Posts: 1743
Joined: 4/6/2006
From: The Land of Voodoo
Status: offline

Mistress has complete control of me, so She controls my appearance, too. That is the point-blank answer.

While I already have the jarhead look, I really can't go much shorter unless I go cueball. Mistress says She loves my kiwi fuzz, so growing out is probably out of the question. I don't like longer hair on myself, but instead of making grow my hair out, Mistress is going to use me as a "Ken doll" to goth me out one of these days. No telling what She has in store for me. *gulp*

_____________________________

Collared and devoted property of Mistress Lorelei (vampchick88) as of 3/26/08.

Rubberpet - The Resident Anti-Subby and mysterious shadowy figure known as Voodoo, proud hitman and wiseguy for the Subby Mafia.

(in reply to sweetsub1986)

RE: Hair-ed Limits... - 1/26/2008 5:32:11 PM

Posts: 120
Joined: 11/11/2007
Status: offline

I've had my hair a variety of lengths. I actually grew it out for 9 or 10 years and cut it off right after graduation to my shoulders (from about my hips). Big change. Very big. When the time for the haircut came around, I asked my then-Dom if it would be acceptable to cut it just above my shoulders (his preference had always been shoulder-length to mid-back). He said that it was okay, as long as I was happy with the change, and he got to see me smile when it was done.

Right now, I'm trying to decide if I want to grow it out or keep it short (I'm considering trimming it back to my shoulders... It looks scraggily now). I think I would only make it a hard limit if I decided to grow it out to donate it again. In that case, I think the Dom could be considered selfish, and I would definitely put up a fight if it was insisted upon.

In my opinion, I think both parties (Dom and sub, male and female, females and males, whatever) should each have a range of hairstyles, if they want something changed. Unless, of course, you have incredibly thick, heavy hair. Then don't torture the poor person - let them keep it short. (Basically, this comes from my first Dom, who had the hair range I mentioned.)

And, if anyone wanted to know (I'm very proud of this) the day I cut my hair, they cut off a 15" ponytail and trimmed about 4 or so more inches to get me my first ever layered-hair look. Oh yeah. That was a drastic change... I don't reccomend it for everyone. Going from long hair to short takes some getting used to. At least short to long you have time to adjust as it grows.

Also, some people's hair grows incredibly slowly... That should probably be taken into account before a drastic cut. They could be stuck with it for a very long time.

Finally thought: Let's not all be judgemental about hard limits in general. There is no dang twue way. Let's all just get over that fact. Some approve, some don't. Just... Take it to a hard limits thread, y'all.

~kitten~

< Message edited by kittengirl8 -- 1/26/2008 5:33:54 PM >

(in reply to daddysblondie)

RE: Hair-ed Limits... - 1/26/2008 5:33:27 PM

Posts: 47
Joined: 11/28/2005
Status: offline

Wow, just wow. I suppose being the OP, and since there's been a long queue of comments posted, mostly from "red" about haw snarky and condescending I have been in my posts. If this is the impression I have given I apologize.

I was surprised to see posts from Annabelle in agreement, considering I enjoyed her original post on this thread as well. I'm sorry I didn't laud you before in praise in an immediate reply, but I thought your post was insightful, I just thought the other person had gotten deeper to the crux of the question I was proposing.

red, take a few deep breaths. I wish I could read between the lines as deeply as you seem to, because I could get so much more out of the books I buy. I never said that a submissive is only really submissive if she's willing to cut her hair. When I made comments about that, I meant that I wanted to hear someone else say that yes, the hair is a stopgap of submission.

I don't know why you choose to take your hair so personally, or why you choose to go to a dark place where you feel the need to bring such rage to a simple discussion as you have brought here. Great, you wouldn't cut your hair for a Dominant. And? That's your choice. The reason I chose to applaud the efforts of someone willing to take a moment and say to themselves, "Hey, why do I respond so emotionally when I think about cutting my hair?" is because provoking genuine introspective thought in an internet forum is so genuinely rare, I thought it deserved some reward.

Moreover, from post one, you have shown an obvious disdain for even the broaching of the subject. As my colleague in crime pointed out, not only have you provided as much as the knee-jerk "I would NEVER" reaction, you proceed to display your contempt on a simple question about submission and haircuts (a frivolous subject, no less, that has turned into a hot debate) by immediately displaying your contempt with nothing but cynicism and derision.

With that, I am done dealing with your drama. Best wishes.

I'm also not making the connection between haircuts and date rape as suggested by someone else. That could just be me though.

< Message edited by ForcefuIHands -- 1/26/2008 5:54:39 PM >

(in reply to daddysblondie)

RE: Hair-ed Limits... - 1/26/2008 5:39:47 PM

Posts: 5279
Joined: 9/28/2006
From: Warm Springs, GA but i live in San Francisco.
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: nothing4ever

I am amazed at how this thing has exploded into spews of rudeness & condescending comments!

Really? You acknowledged in your very first post that you knew that many people have very strong feelings about their hair and hair in general. Look at it in the context of politics and religion: people who have strong opposing views often get overheated in a debate.

Alas this has been a reminder as to why I do not post.. because people cannot remain civilized.

The above, is a rude and condescending statement, and thus is not civilized.

In the end it is just hair.. take that as you would like!

No it is not, even to you; else you wouldn't have posted so much (after months of silence on collarme) in a thread about hair. Even so, your not placing value on something does not invalidate the fact that others do place value in it.

quote:

ORIGINAL: tigerstyle
I'm not going to see eye to eye with anyone with a hair hard limit.

Exactly, that's why those of us do refuse to cut our hair for another tend to seek out those who actually love our hair. On the same note, a dominant who doesn't put the same value in hair won't stay with someone who refuses to back down on that hard limit in negotiation.

_____________________________

I'm the man your mother warned you about...
if only to keep me to herself.

I'm a male dominant switch whose experienced as a poly sub to a dominant woman
.
Where the fuck do I post?

Proud Owner and Protector of chyldeschylde.

(in reply to ForcefuIHands)

RE: Hair-ed Limits... - 1/26/2008 5:41:02 PM

Posts: 11766
Status: offline

quote:

Would you let a Dominant choose your hairstyle?

it isn't this slave's hair anymore...it belongs to Him, so He decides when, where, how and if it will be cut, colored, styled, washed or shaved off.

(in reply to ForcefuIHands)

RE: Hair-ed Limits... - 1/26/2008 5:53:30 PM

Posts: 47
Joined: 11/28/2005
Status: offline

And, darchChllde, for the record, has amazing hair. That's not sarcasm, seriously. It's like Gary Oldman in Dracula hot.

< Message edited by ForcefuIHands -- 1/26/2008 6:02:09 PM >

(in reply to darchChylde)

RE: Hair-ed Limits... - 1/26/2008 6:07:27 PM

Posts: 8998
Joined: 8/9/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: ForcefuIHands

Wow, just wow. I suppose being the OP, and since there's been a long queue of comments posted, mostly from "red" (interesting that you would single ME out, when actually, many, many posters here agreed with me about how snarky and condescending you were) about haw snarky and condescending I have been in my posts. If this is the impression I have given I apologize.

I was surprised to see posts from Annabelle in agreement, considering I enjoyed her original post on this thread as well. I'm sorry I didn't laud you before in praise in an immediate reply, but I thought your post was insightful, I just thought the other person had gotten deeper to the crux of the question I was proposing.

red, take a few deep breaths. (don't need to; did not spare you or this thread another thought, it is all in a day's work on the forums) I wish I could read between the lines as deeply as you seem to, because I could get so much more out of the books I buy. I never said that a submissive is only really submissive if she's willing to cut her hair. When I made comments about that, I meant that I wanted to hear someone else say that yes, the hair is a stopgap of submission.

I don't know why you choose to take your hair so personally, (I did not take it personally, I am cracking up that you see my difference in opinion as such, you are making an assumptive judgement of me, tsk tsk) or why you choose to go to a dark place (I have a dark place? pray tell, where might that be, grasshopper?) where you feel the need to bring such rage (rage? you think this is rage? LMAO, oh boy....poor thing) to a simple discussion as you have brought here. Great, you wouldn't cut your hair for a Dominant. And? That's your choice. The reason I chose to applaud the efforts of someone willing to take a moment and say to themselves, "Hey, why do I respond so emotionally when I think about cutting my hair?" is because provoking genuine introspective thought in an internet forum is so genuinely rare, I thought it deserved some reward.

Moreover, from post one, you have shown an obvious disdain for even the broaching of the subject. (You are a liar. I answered as did anyone else. You CHOSE to view my reply as it differed from yours as disdain. Your issue, not mine, your interpretation, not my intent.) As my colleague in crime pointed out, not only have you provided as much as the knee-jerk "I would NEVER" reaction, you proceed to display your contempt on a simple question about submission and haircuts (a frivolous subject, no less, that has turned into a hot debate) by immediately displaying your contempt with nothing but cynicism and derision. (again, you and your colleague, have decided that anyone who disagreed with you both must be contemptible, must go to a "dark" place, must take things "personally" and must be "cynical" and "derisive". Did I get all that right?)

With that, I am done dealing with your drama. (my drama? You created this drama boy, not me. )Best wishes.

I'm also not making the connection between haircuts and date rape as suggested by someone else. That could just be me though.

Perhaps you will learn to grow up and when you next post a thread, think before you start a topic that might stir different opinions. I find it highly amusing that my writing style so offends you and your colleague when so many other posters here agreed with me and many disagreed with you and your colleague.

Perhaps you will learn that open debate is not a license for you to judge the opinions of others in the matter you have chosen to dissect all of my replies as evidenced above.

I have no further interest in communicating with you on any topic, now that I see how you are unable to discern other opinions than your own..

(in reply to ForcefuIHands)

RE: Hair-ed Limits... - 1/26/2008 6:11:45 PM

Posts: 5279
Joined: 9/28/2006
From: Warm Springs, GA but i live in San Francisco.
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: ForcefuIHands

And, darchChllde, for the record, has amazing hair. That's not sarcasm, seriously.

Thank you very much; but as i said before, it took lots of time, work and patience (and an unfair amount of genetics on my side).

I keep hearing that hair will just grow back; but ask anyone who has tried to grow long hair. It's really not that easy, it's like building a car from scratch; there come points where it's a major strain not to give up and tell yourself that you can start again.

It took me over 10 years to get my hair to the middle of my ass when i cut it for the military. When that didn't pan out due to a motorcycle accident after basic, it took me another 13-14 years to get it where it is now; about halfway there. Only 3 of those years have been without a major cut, other than a trim.

In addition to the investment i put into my hair, another reason i wouldn't cut my hair for another person's whim is that i really don't look right in short hair. Having it shorn for basic showed me that i can't do a buzzcut, my head is a phrenologists wet dream. Also; i have angular facial features, ears that stick out too much, a neck too long and thin and a pronounce adam's apple, i may be an attractive person now, but with short hair in a more mainstream style i can't help but look awkward. My hair hides or softens those features that i feel are unattractive.

Another thing, i'm so comfortable in my long har that i use it like my eyes, mouth or hands; it is part of my body-language and there are things that i can express while using my hair that i really cannot without.

Plus, it's really nice when Ma'am gets a big handful of it and drags me around.

_____________________________

I'm the man your mother warned you about...
if only to keep me to herself.

I'm a male dominant switch whose experienced as a poly sub to a dominant woman
.
Where the fuck do I post?

Proud Owner and Protector of chyldeschylde.

(in reply to ForcefuIHands)

RE: Hair-ed Limits... - 1/26/2008 6:14:31 PM

sambamanslilgirl

Posts: 10926
Joined: 2/5/2007
From: Chicago, IL
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: ForcefuIHands

So, question, girls: Would you let a Dominant choose your hairstyle?

nope

i like my hair short, permed and trimmed

_____________________________

...2011 - year of the fabulous rock star life ...and i do it so well...

...announcing Mr. & Mrs. British Petrol ...yeah, marrying into oil is slick business...

(in reply to ForcefuIHands)

RE: Hair-ed Limits... - 1/26/2008 6:23:21 PM

PrizedPosession

Posts: 1209
Joined: 11/2/2007
Status: offline

Yeppers, currently i am growing it out right now because He likes longer hair to grab hold on to but He knows not to go too absurd (like mohawk!) He likes my hair as it is luckily.

(in reply to sambamanslilgirl)

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