darchChylde
Posts: 5279
Joined: 9/28/2006
From: Warm Springs, GA but i live in San Francisco.
Status: offline
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quote:
ORIGINAL: ownedgirlie
Hi Tempting,
I think, when putting life priorities into perspective, hair (for me) does not rank amongst those losses that should cause trauma. I remember standing with my mother before a mirror, who, at the age of 50, weighing in at 125 with beautiful dark hair down to her waist, was being treated for breast cancer and now found herself bald and puffy from medication. It was traumatic for her, naturally. She mumbled, "Who is this person? I don't even know her anymore."
I realized I did not want to put all my value into things like hair and clear skin. Last year when everything in my house was stolen, including family heirlooms and photos, etc., I came to realize things are just things. So to me, things are things and hair is hair, but human spirit, love, and compassion are the real priorities. I can live without the rest.
It is not that I mean to devalue what others place value on, it is that for me, losing something that will come back to me is not an issue. In a year's time I lost my Dad, two uncles and an aunt, my house, all my possessions, my health and my job. I've recovered from that loss, but the idea of crying over hair, after all that other loss, is not something I personally relate to. I respect this is not the case for everyone, and I respect their right to value their hair. But that's where I'm coming from when I think "just hair."
i also admire all that you've lost and how you've recovered and grown from that pain. But, i too have had my losses (which i will not go into right now, it's in my profile for all to see) and i look at things a little differently.
For me, my hair is a part of that which i've always saw as a part of me and one of the few things that were part of my life way back when that i can hold on to. But even more than that; it is something which i have control over, something tangible that i can reach up and feel or look in the mirror and see.
My hair is a reflection to me of my growth and persistance; and when i first decided to become part of the world again, it was a promise that i made to myself. It wasn't until i finally came up for air that i was able to decide to grow my hair out again and stick with it.
So yes, it is something i could lose and most likely grow back; but for myself and for many like me, i need something i could more easily see than the human spirit, love and compassion. In those times that i am missing Ma'am, my family or those that i have lost; my hair is still there. When i have a hard time feeling loved or worthy, just because of my own pain and drama and not due to others' actions; my hair is still there to remind me of how far i've come. Just being able to care about anything, even if it is only hair; is a huge step from where i've been.
In the end, it is still a matter of perspective. What one person's been through is not what another has, and how one has dealt with it is not how another person has. What matters is not the how we've overcome, but that we have.
_____________________________
I'm the man your mother warned you about...
if only to keep me to herself.
I'm a male dominant switch whose experienced as a poly sub to a dominant woman
.
Where the fuck do I post?
Proud Owner and Protector of chyldeschylde.
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RE: Hair-ed Limits... - 
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