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RE: Hair-ed Limits... - 1/27/2008 7:09:58 PM

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Personally I love longer hair on men and women. I keep mine long and my sub keeps his shoulder length. Unfortunately with his job he can't let it grow any longer. I've seen lots of people who have hair cutting as a limit and I can't blame them, if you like your hair long then you know it can take several months if not years to regrow it back.

I guess you may have to consider if having short hair is a "must" for you or if you could be flexible and perhaps accept someone with longer hair who doesn't mind wearing theirs in an updo? Thats one option to consider.

~Lashra

_____________________________

“We can never judge the lives of others, because each person knows only their own pain and renunciation. It's one thing to feel that you are on the right path, but it's another to think that yours is the only path.”

(in reply to sweetwenchie)

RE: Hair-ed Limits... - 1/27/2008 8:23:23 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: OmegaG

quote:

ORIGINAL: nothing4ever

I am actually a female. I do not understand this. It is JUST hair & it will grow back... to me anyway. So to say it's just men who don't get it is oh so wrong.

Smiles.

I am one of the fortunate ones that can change my mind about my hair on a whim. I cut it short, decide to grow it back out to do it all over again, but my hair seems to grow alot faster then others. I also have a face that supports long and short cuts and my hair is thick and straighter then straight which also makes change easier for me because so many cuts work for me. But I understand having difficult hair that took 20 years to find the perfect cut to work with it.

:P :P :P

LOL

(in reply to OmegaG)

RE: Hair-ed Limits... - 1/27/2008 10:50:55 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: ownedgirlie

quote:

ORIGINAL: juliaoceania
I do not define myself by any physical attribute other than my intellect, at the same time, something that has taken literal years to accomplish, like growing hair to an excessively long length, shouldn't be changed for some fly by night relationship... and lets face it, most relationships in this lifestyle have the longevity of months, not years.

This is the best point I have seen made on this thread, in opposition to hair cutting.

While I agree it was a good point, I felt a little let down that no one took up a debate on this portion of the same post...

quote:

Now lets say you had braces for a few years, and your dom didn't like your retainer so he ordered you to take it out... do you do it because you do not define yourself by straight teeth and you can always get braces again?

Crooked teeth do not hurt, one can always pay to have braces put back on, so what is the essential difference in being willing to throw out one's retainer as opposed to cutting off one's hair. I have had both long hair and a retainer.. it takes longer to grow the hair for most people than it does to straighten the teeth... average of two years for most people...

But I am sure if I started a thread about people who had retainer use as a hard limit that wouldn't be seen as inflamatory as this thread which makes me chuckle. Hair is a woman's crowning glory, and while one should never define themselves utterly based upon the physical, most of us DO. We all have something that is inherent that we take "pride" in and that we would not like to give up. I happen to have long strawberry blonde hair down to my buns that is naturally wavy/curly. I get stopped several times a week because people want to comment on my hair, and women want to know my colorists name when they find out my age (I do not color my hair).

I do have a challenge for those who insist that taking pride in one's hair is just "silly" because it is "only hair", well your brains are a physical trait, and most people would like to think they have an above average intellect (although that cannot possibly be true, because if most people were above average, then that would create a new average, but this is another topic

). Why is it more silly to take pride in one's hair, but not one's mind? I would really like to know why it is acceptable to define ourselves by one characteristic we are born with, but not another.... and for those who think that cutting their hair is silly, perhaps they should find doms that want them to play stupid, perhaps they should really challenge that whole entire defining themselves by the characteristics they are born with and pretend to be slow witted, after all, it is just a trait one is born with... silly to take pride in it, right? Why define yourself by being smart?

_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

(in reply to ownedgirlie)

RE: Hair-ed Limits... - 1/27/2008 10:57:28 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: juliaoceania

I do have a challenge for those who insist that taking pride in one's hair is just "silly" because it is "only hair", well your brains are a physical trait, and most people would like to think they have an above average intellect (although that cannot possibly be true, because if most people were above average, then that would create a new average, but this is another topic). Why is it more silly to take pride in one's hair, but not one's mind? I would really like to know why it is acceptable to define ourselves by one characteristic we are born with, but not another.... and for those who think that cutting their hair is silly, perhaps they should find doms that want them to play stupid, perhaps they should really challenge that whole entire defining themselves by the characteristics they are born with and pretend to be slow witted, after all, it is just a trait one is born with... silly to take pride in it, right? Why define yourself by being smart?

Interesting question, Julia. But I don't define myself by intellect, either. I define myself by my spirit, by love and compassion, and by the essence of who I am. And yes, someone did try to take all that away for awhile, and came damned close. It's not that I take pride in those things that define me, it's that I find happiness in them.

As for the braces/retainer analogy, I'd have the same answer. He owns my body, including my teeth. If he wished to alter anything about me - teeth, hair, you name it, well then it gets altered.

(in reply to juliaoceania)

RE: Hair-ed Limits... - 1/27/2008 10:58:11 PM

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I wanted to add, my comments were not pointed at ownedgirlie, but the thread in general.

Like I said earlier, I would let my Daddy pick a new hair style for me... it took over a year for me to get there, and it is a recent thing that I have given control over. He enjoys pulling it and threatening me he will cut it off just to see my response... and by pulling, I mean enough to stress the roots.. but it is just to see if I truly mean that I let him control my hair. I do let him control my hair.. but it is perhaps the last bastion of control I retained.

_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

(in reply to juliaoceania)

RE: Hair-ed Limits... - 1/27/2008 11:02:22 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: ownedgirlie

quote:

ORIGINAL: juliaoceania

I do have a challenge for those who insist that taking pride in one's hair is just "silly" because it is "only hair", well your brains are a physical trait, and most people would like to think they have an above average intellect (although that cannot possibly be true, because if most people were above average, then that would create a new average, but this is another topic). Why is it more silly to take pride in one's hair, but not one's mind? I would really like to know why it is acceptable to define ourselves by one characteristic we are born with, but not another.... and for those who think that cutting their hair is silly, perhaps they should find doms that want them to play stupid, perhaps they should really challenge that whole entire defining themselves by the characteristics they are born with and pretend to be slow witted, after all, it is just a trait one is born with... silly to take pride in it, right? Why define yourself by being smart?

Interesting question, Julia. But I don't define myself by intellect, either. I define myself by my spirit, by love and compassion, and by the essence of who I am. And yes, someone did try to take all that away for awhile, and came damned close. It's not that I take pride in those things that define me, it's that I find happiness in them.

As for the braces/retainer analogy, I'd have the same answer. He owns my body, including my teeth. If he wished to alter anything about me - teeth, hair, you name it, well then it gets altered.

Im not there yet, I take plenty pride in my hair, my intellect, and my figure. Perhaps I will get where you are, but I just ain't there yet. He likes me taking pride in these things, he sees it as a positive thing. He enjoys my mind, my hair, my figure.

Age will rob all of the above from me... even the mind starts to slip, but I am not giving up without a fight

I do believe each person is inherently valuable, and I could not value one person less for not having some attribute or another, but it does not stop me from enjoying those attributes I possess

_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

(in reply to ownedgirlie)

RE: Hair-ed Limits... - 1/27/2008 11:06:45 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: juliaoceania
Im not there yet, I take plenty pride in my hair, my intellect, and my figure. Perhaps I will get where you are, but I just ain't there yet. He likes me taking pride in these things, he sees it as a positive thing. He enjoys my mind, my hair, my figure.

Don't get me wrong, I see nothing wrong with taking pride in our attributes. But that's different for me than defining ourselves by them.

quote:

Age will rob all of the above from me... even the mind starts to slip, but I am not giving up without a fight

You & me both, sistah!

quote:

I do believe each person is inherently valuable, and I could not value one person less for not having some attribute or another, but it does not stop me from enjoying those attributes I possess

I'm with you there, too.

(in reply to juliaoceania)

RE: Hair-ed Limits... - 1/27/2008 11:17:02 PM

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quote:

Don't get me wrong, I see nothing wrong with taking pride in our attributes. But that's different for me than defining ourselves by them.

There have been some rather ugly comments on this thread, about people defining themselves by a body part...which hair is a part of the body.

Lost a tooth, it didn't hurt that badly... but it emotionally impacted me greatly. I am not defined by my teeth, but losing a part of the body is a trauma for most people. Now hair is not teeth, it grows, but it can take years. Losing one's hair is like an amputation for some people. I think it was rather unfair for some to make certain comments on this thread... mainly the psychoanalyzing that took place...Just because one is attached to a body part does not mean that they define themselves by it. And the emotional pain of losing hair is just as valid as the emotional pain of losing a tooth.. sure one can live without the tooth, but most of us would feel ugly if we had gaps in our smile.

I have dated men that I have had some hair loss, they must wear hats in summer to keep from burning their scalp, and caps in winter to keep their heads warm... hair serves a function.. and while one can compensate for its loss, like one can get dentures, it is still a loss.

I say this as someone attached to my hair, but willing to part with it if he ordered that I should. I cannot believe I would put that in his hands... but I did.

_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

(in reply to ownedgirlie)

RE: Hair-ed Limits... - 1/28/2008 6:37:21 AM

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Her hair is the one thing my submissive placed 'off limits' but it's really a moot point since I love her hair in all of its long, brunette glory. It's one of the first things that attracted me to her. After dating more than my share of women with run of the mill hair it's a joy every time I see that spectacular head of hair she has. I wouldn't think of changing it - hell, I'm attached to it.

(in reply to ForcefuIHands)

RE: Hair-ed Limits... - 1/28/2008 7:31:20 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: GreedyTop

quote:

ORIGINAL: OmegaG

quote:

ORIGINAL: nothing4ever

I am actually a female. I do not understand this. It is JUST hair & it will grow back... to me anyway. So to say it's just men who don't get it is oh so wrong.

Smiles.

I am one of the fortunate ones that can change my mind about my hair on a whim. I cut it short, decide to grow it back out to do it all over again, but my hair seems to grow alot faster then others. I also have a face that supports long and short cuts and my hair is thick and straighter then straight which also makes change easier for me because so many cuts work for me. But I understand having difficult hair that took 20 years to find the perfect cut to work with it.

:P :P :P

LOL

If it's any consolation, I was a teen in the 80s when straight hair was not considered desireable. Sometimes I think I'm just lucky to still have hair the way I abused it back then.

I agree with others, eat jello.

Fot the OP, I've changed my hair for the guy I'm dating in vanilla relationships all my life, it's not a big deal for some. I guess my question to you is that do you want a woman who is apathetic enough to cut and grow at your whim or do you like pushing a woman who has emotional investment in her hair? Like eye color, intellect, height, sexual preferences, et al, it's more about finding the one that meshes with you rather then understanding how the rest of us tick.

_____________________________

Regret for the things we did can be tempered by time; it is regret for the things we did not do that is inconsolable. Sydney J. Harris

Sex without pain is like food without taste.
- de Sade

(in reply to GreedyTop)

RE: Hair-ed Limits... - 1/28/2008 7:44:16 AM

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From: Savannah, GA
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quote:

ORIGINAL: OmegaG
If it's any consolation, I was a teen in the 80s when straight hair was not considered desireable. Sometimes I think I'm just lucky to still have hair the way I abused it back then.

I agree with others, eat jello.

Fot the OP, I've changed my hair for the guy I'm dating in vanilla relationships all my life, it's not a big deal for some. I guess my question to you is that do you want a woman who is apathetic enough to cut and grow at your whim or do you like pushing a woman who has emotional investment in her hair? Like eye color, intellect, height, sexual preferences, et al, it's more about finding the one that meshes with you rather then understanding how the rest of us tick.

lol in the 80s my hair actually kinda worked... remember that kinda layered cut Stevie Nicks had? I did mine like that and it (mostly) worked... mousse and a blow dryer...

*sigh* I wish that style would come back! lol

back to the OP though... my hair would be a limit. But as others have said, why would I be with someone that would require me to do that?
Besides, you really need to have a decent skull shape to look good with reallllllllllly short / no hair... and I don't LOL

(in reply to OmegaG)

RE: Hair-ed Limits... - 1/28/2008 7:50:31 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: GreedyTop

quote:

ORIGINAL: OmegaG
If it's any consolation, I was a teen in the 80s when straight hair was not considered desireable. Sometimes I think I'm just lucky to still have hair the way I abused it back then.

I agree with others, eat jello.

Fot the OP, I've changed my hair for the guy I'm dating in vanilla relationships all my life, it's not a big deal for some. I guess my question to you is that do you want a woman who is apathetic enough to cut and grow at your whim or do you like pushing a woman who has emotional investment in her hair? Like eye color, intellect, height, sexual preferences, et al, it's more about finding the one that meshes with you rather then understanding how the rest of us tick.

lol in the 80s my hair actually kinda worked... remember that kinda layered cut Stevie Nicks had? I did mine like that and it (mostly) worked... mousse and a blow dryer...

*sigh* I wish that style would come back! lol

back to the OP though... my hair would be a limit. But as others have said, why would I be with someone that would require me to do that?
Besides, you really need to have a decent skull shape to look good with reallllllllllly short / no hair... and I don't LOL

Oh, my hair worked-- it took being permed every six months (and 6 hours in a chair because of how much freakin hair I have) and two hours every morning. Not to mention stock in Aqua Net. By all outward appearences, I had hair to die for-- but it was so hight maintanence, ick.

Now, one great hair dresser who understands me and my hair and I can have great wash and wear hair at any length, nope, I don't miss the 80s at all.

My hairdresser I'll miss when I move *sniff*

_____________________________

Regret for the things we did can be tempered by time; it is regret for the things we did not do that is inconsolable. Sydney J. Harris

Sex without pain is like food without taste.
- de Sade

(in reply to GreedyTop)

RE: Hair-ed Limits... - 1/28/2008 9:39:04 AM

mhawk

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well right now i wear my hair short,it is and has been my Lord's plan when the weather warms up that He is going to have my hair compleatly cut off.that is jsut he way He likes it to be on a slave,the less hair the better, He has been known to say.

i say to each their own on how they want their subs/slaves hair to be

(in reply to ForcefuIHands)

RE: Hair-ed Limits... - 1/28/2008 11:08:35 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: juliaoceania
There have been some rather ugly comments on this thread, about people defining themselves by a body part...which hair is a part of the body.

I know. And equally ugly comments made by people who are attached to their hair. It's obviously a passionate and emotional subject that brings strong responses out in people. Hopefully you have not been offended by any of my remarks; I certainly did not intend to offend in expressing how I personally relate to the issue.

(in reply to juliaoceania)

RE: Hair-ed Limits... - 1/28/2008 11:23:31 AM

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[/quote]

You must not have great hair, sorry.

Smiles.
[/quote]

I have hair. I have hair like Medusa had hair, living, breathing willful stuff. I hate having my hair pulled, it puts me in a fight mood, far from the MMMMMMMmmm others experience. I would love to cut my hair shorter, it would cut down on the 2 hours it takes to do it right and the 30 minutes of fight to get my hair to do anything at all on days I am not going to spend 2 hours. Master likes it long. It is shoulder length and a pain in my neck especially on hot humid days (Florida) where it drinks in all the moisture in the air, frizzes, and absorbs sun and heat like a sponge. The stuff is baby fine, but thick enough to make a full scalp for 3 more women and it is very strong willed, it knows what IT wants to do and will unbraid itself, uncurl, unstraighten, escape scrunches, and clips faster than Hodini ever escaped handcuffs.

The damned stuff needs it's own Dom to whip it into shape in the morning. Master just laughs and says grow it.

bleh
poenkitten

(in reply to sexyred1)

RE: Hair-ed Limits... - 1/28/2008 11:25:46 AM

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From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
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quote:

ORIGINAL: ownedgirlie

quote:

ORIGINAL: juliaoceania
There have been some rather ugly comments on this thread, about people defining themselves by a body part...which hair is a part of the body.

I know. And equally ugly comments made by people who are attached to their hair. It's obviously a passionate and emotional subject that brings strong responses out in people. Hopefully you have not been offended by any of my remarks; I certainly did not intend to offend in expressing how I personally relate to the issue.

I wasn't offended by you

I wasn't offended by anyone really. I saw some of the comments on the other side of the equation, but I will say this, those were made in response to dismissive condescending remarks about how unsubmissive and more or less nuts people are to value their hair... I will name names, nothing4ever seemed very emotionally invested in this thread, and how people feel about their hair. She never made an effort to understand how people who are hair-attached feel about this. I will say it was probably unnecessary to make catty comments about her hair, but she wasn't just being insulting to the person who snarked on her, she was insulting to anyone that cares about their hair. I am actually amused because looking at her pictures, she seems to prize body modification and appears to go to get her hair processed much more than I have in the last 15 years...she spends money on her hair... I spend next to nothing on mine

. Ironic, isn't it?

I do not think people should look their ability to give control over this issue as a measure of their submissiveness though. We all have limits (although some prefer to call these limitations). Perhaps one submissive is limited to getting her hair cut, another is limited in getting her teeth removed, another will not have their limbs taken off... whatever someone's limit is, that is what it is... and for some people the idea of having their head shaved is about as depressing as having a breast removed. In fact if one reads about survivors of breast cancer the loss of the hair is one of the most terrible things about going through chemo.. worse than the physical symptoms. It is up there with actually having the breast removed for some people.

Now we can talk all day and night about how these people are "silly".... it is "just hair"... it is just a breast, just a tooth, just a finger, justa justa justa .... For me, my real father prized my long hair. He would brush it for me before he died, and he forbid my mom to have it cut when I was wee. I eventually tried different styles... some shoulder length, but never for long. I always grew it out. It is a part of me, one i could live without. I could live without a lot of my body parts, it doesn't mean I wouldn't miss them.

< Message edited by juliaoceania -- 1/28/2008 11:27:21 AM >

_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

(in reply to ownedgirlie)

RE: Hair-ed Limits... - 1/28/2008 11:51:22 AM

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I relinquished control of my hair and clothing to my Master. One of the first things he had me do, was to grow it long (it has always been short, and i have had it every colour under the rainbow). I started growing it (and am still doing it -- it seems to grow so slowly!!) without question. And in fact, as he said it would, it really looks much better longer than it did short. But if he wanted me to go bald -- no problem. It's always been a toy to me anyway, a renewable practically unbreakable toy that will grow back all by itself! But more importantly, i am His slave. He wants it long -- and so I shall do my best to fulfill his command!

_____________________________

“. . . there was about him a suggestion of lurking ferocity, as though the Wild still lingered in him and the Wolf in him merely slept.” Jack London

(in reply to nothing4ever)

RE: Hair-ed Limits... - 1/28/2008 12:01:05 PM

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I pierced my nipples for him. That was way hard.

I stopped wearing a bra for him. That took some getting used to but now when I have to wear a bra for some reason, its a pain in the butt.

If he wanted me to cut my hair a certain way, I'd do it. I'd doubt he'd want me to do a major style change because I was teasing his um (a baby) who loves to tangle it in his fingers and said I was going to get it all cut off and Master looked up and told me I'd better not. I really doubt I'd cut it without his permission.

_____________________________

“To be happy is to be able to become aware of oneself without fright.” ~Walter Benjamin

(in reply to ForcefuIHands)

RE: Hair-ed Limits... - 1/28/2008 1:08:09 PM

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~fast reply~

Not a hard limit for me. I just don't care.

(in reply to sweetwenchie)

RE: Hair-ed Limits... - 1/28/2008 1:53:58 PM

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Wow, just wow... After coming here on a whim to see if this thread had died out, I am earnestly touched by how deep and thoughtful the debates and conversations have gotten here. Seriously, if I had known beforehand I perhaps would have made an effort to seem less dismissive of the subject. This is remarkable to me, and frankly astounding. To those of you who took the time and invested the energy to provide honest and thoughtful responses, I sincerely thank you for your time. At nine pages, I am flabbergasted.

In regards to someone who asked why I posted the OP, whether I was interested in the persons ambivalent about their hair, or liked to break the spirit of those with passion about it, it was neither. I have asked submissives to cut their hair for me, and have come across this sort of conversation before. I suppose in the arena of BDSM, where there are all manner of humiliation and degradation involved, and even enjoyed, why something like sitting down with someone and picking out a different haircut would be thought of as a taboo. I'm not asking to pee in it, I just enjoy short hair! It seemed frivilous and vain to me, but I can see there are deeper issues here. I can only apologize again for a demeanor that seemed so dismissive, as that was not my intention in the least.

(in reply to batshalom)

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