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Luscious's Laughter Lair - 2/1/2008 1:57:37 PM   
lusciouslips19


Posts: 9792
Joined: 9/8/2007
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This is a place for freinds to get together and laugh and tell jokes. Nothing will offend the OP. Not rude comments, nor hijacks. All things allowed that are allowed in this section. So I'll start with a joke and then you can tell me one. Plus, anyone for a margarita????


Your Diet -----
For those of you who watch what you eat...
Here’s the final word on nutrition and health. It’s a relief to know the truth after all those conflicting medical studies.
1. The Japanese eat very little fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than the Americans.
2. The Mexicans eat a lot of fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than the Americans.
3. The Japanese drink very little red wine andsuffer fewer heart attacks than the Americans
4. The Italians drink excessive amounts of red wineand suffer fewer heart attacks than the Americans.
5. The Germans drink a lot of beer and eat lots of sausages and fats and suffer fewer heart attacks than the Americans.
CONCLUSION: Eat and drink what you like. Speaking English is apparently what kills you.

< Message edited by lusciouslips19 -- 2/1/2008 2:00:19 PM >
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RE: Luscious's Laughter Lair - 2/1/2008 2:27:15 PM   
lusciouslips19


Posts: 9792
Joined: 9/8/2007
Status: offline
Ok. So that joke isnt very funny. I had a good one. But there was a comment about a 400 pound gorilla in an unseemly way. I didnt want to risk the wrath of moderator11.

heres another 1.

Guy walks unto the bar and says bartender I;ll have a beer and give that douche bag at the end of the bar a drink. Bartender says," sir please don't talk about our customers like that".Guy says," shut up and give her a drink".So the bartender says," excuse me miss the guy at the end of the bar wants to buy you a drink" so the lady says," thank you i’ll have a vinegar and water."

(in reply to lusciouslips19)
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RE: Luscious's Laughter Lair - 2/1/2008 3:09:38 PM   
sweetwenchie


Posts: 1993
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Sacramento, California
Status: offline
When I was younger I hated going to weddings...

It seemed that all of my aunts and the grandmotherly types used to Come
up to me, poke me in the ribs and cackle, telling me, "YOU'RE NEXT".
They stopped that shit after I started doing the same thing to them at
funerals ...


_____________________________

"To make oneself an object, to make oneself passive, is a very different thing from being a passive object." - De Beauvoir

"You have your way. I have my way. As for the right way, the correct way, and the only way, it does not exist." - Nietzsche

(in reply to lusciouslips19)
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RE: Luscious's Laughter Lair - 2/1/2008 3:10:34 PM   
scifi1133


Posts: 8529
Joined: 3/27/2007
From: virginia
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: sweetwenchie

When I was younger I hated going to weddings...

It seemed that all of my aunts and the grandmotherly types used to Come
up to me, poke me in the ribs and cackle, telling me, "YOU'RE NEXT".
They stopped that shit after I started doing the same thing to them at
funerals ...

  ????????????? MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

_____________________________

I'm the happy fascist slut.
awwwwwww yeeeeeeeeah
And I see your schwartz is as big as mine.
My heart 10-01-72 / 10-16-09


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RE: Luscious's Laughter Lair - 2/1/2008 3:11:28 PM   
SlavesKeeper


Posts: 49
Joined: 4/20/2006
Status: offline
Who says the first joke wasnt good?
I thought they both were

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RE: Luscious's Laughter Lair - 2/1/2008 3:11:40 PM   
sweetwenchie


Posts: 1993
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Sacramento, California
Status: offline
What NOT to do With Your Dominant

- Pushing limits does not mean making Master so angry the vein above his right eye throbs.
- "Quit it!" "Ow, damnit!" "I'm hiding that toy when you go to work tomorrow" and cursing a blue streak are not safe words.
- "Oh my god, where did you get those, they are gorgeous!!!" is not considered boot worship.
- "Ya want fries with that?", "Want me to drink it for you too?" are not appropriate remarks when Master gives you an elaborate drink order.
- Flipping your dominant off while your hands are cuffed behind your back is a bad idea. Owners have ways of knowing these things.
- Putting lube, goop, Superglue, ink or any other substance that will sully the hands of Master on his toys while setting up for a session is not a good idea.
- Kicking that toy you hate far under the bed is futile. Master will only secure your wristcuffs to your anklecuffs and make you crawl for it...repeatedly.
- "Bite me" is never an intelligent response to a command.
- Doing your Beavis and Butthead imitation of "Fire, fire, fire, fire!" during Master's lecture on fireplay safety is considered rude.
- Responding with "Yes, All Wise, All Knowing Grand Imperial Weenie" is not appropriate when Master asks you if you are comfortable during a bondage scene.
- Asking to go to the bathroom every five minutes while Master practices his Japanese rope work on you will try his patience, quickly.
- Crossing your eyes and sticking your tongue out while your dominant is discussing your punishment is not wise.
- There is no such thing as slave immunity, free slave day, or the pms defense. The slave jury might not convict you, but the Dom judge will override the verdict.
Count on it.
- Pretending Master's collection of buttplugs are toys and singing the "Weebles wobble but they won't fall down" song is not a good idea.
- Repeatedly blowing out each candle Master lights during wax play will get you punished.
- Checking Master's head for the 666 symbol after a harsh punishment will only get you more of the same, or worse.
- "I know you are but what am I?" is not the appropriate response when called a raunchy little whore during humiliation play.
- Using the spreader bars, paddles or canes for the fireplace is not a good plan.
- "Missed me, missed me, now ya gotta kiss me" is an unacceptable remark when Master's flogger slips.
- When Master pulls out his bullwhip and says he wants to play, he doesn't mean hide-and-seek. ..he will find you eventually.
- Calling Merry Maids when you are ordered to spruce the place up is not what your dominant had in mind.
- "Faster, faster, we need a new Master" is NOT the song to sing during a session.
- "Oh, and you think I am?" is an unacceptable response to hearing your dominant say he is not pleased.
- During a play party is not the time to do your hilarious imitation of Igor and hunch over, moaning "Yes, Marster" when ordered to fetch something.
- Adding "Sir" or "Master" to "Fuck that plan!" will not save you.
- Singing the chorus of "Anything You Can Do, I Can Do Better" under your breath during a session is considered foolhardy.
- Arguing whether "Master might not be right, but Master is never wrong" is Zen or Buddhist philosophy will only get you rewarded with kneeling in the corner on a bed of Legos "to help you consider the question in quiet contemplation. "
- Reciting nursery rhymes during an interrogation scene to crack your Owner up only lasts for so long. Then you will pay BIG.
- Asking "Is that as HARD as you can hit??" is considered a cry for help amongst submissive suicide prevention workers.

< Message edited by sweetwenchie -- 2/1/2008 3:16:23 PM >


_____________________________

"To make oneself an object, to make oneself passive, is a very different thing from being a passive object." - De Beauvoir

"You have your way. I have my way. As for the right way, the correct way, and the only way, it does not exist." - Nietzsche

(in reply to sweetwenchie)
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RE: Luscious's Laughter Lair - 2/1/2008 3:12:58 PM   
sweetwenchie


Posts: 1993
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Sacramento, California
Status: offline
by the way you sexy girl, i used to be a real honest to goodness tavern wench, i will gladly make the margaritas...  do you prefer on the rocks or blended?

_____________________________

"To make oneself an object, to make oneself passive, is a very different thing from being a passive object." - De Beauvoir

"You have your way. I have my way. As for the right way, the correct way, and the only way, it does not exist." - Nietzsche

(in reply to sweetwenchie)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: Luscious's Laughter Lair - 2/1/2008 3:16:06 PM   
lusciouslips19


Posts: 9792
Joined: 9/8/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: sweetwenchie

by the way you sexy girl, i used to be a real honest to goodness tavern wench, i will gladly make the margaritas...  do you prefer on the rocks or blended?


On the rocks with a body shot on the side!

C'mere, give me yer neck.

(in reply to sweetwenchie)
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RE: Luscious's Laughter Lair - 2/1/2008 3:17:50 PM   
sweetwenchie


Posts: 1993
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Sacramento, California
Status: offline
woohooooo     body shots it is!!!   oh ummm, fair warning though, if you hit an erogenous zone i am not liable for what i might do next...

< Message edited by sweetwenchie -- 2/1/2008 3:18:57 PM >


_____________________________

"To make oneself an object, to make oneself passive, is a very different thing from being a passive object." - De Beauvoir

"You have your way. I have my way. As for the right way, the correct way, and the only way, it does not exist." - Nietzsche

(in reply to lusciouslips19)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: Luscious's Laughter Lair - 2/1/2008 3:20:47 PM   
lronitulstahp


Posts: 5392
Joined: 10/17/2007
Status: offline
(scared to post after having recent post ...er, umm...vetoed....) is this an honest to goodness safe place?

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RE: Luscious's Laughter Lair - 2/1/2008 3:23:57 PM   
lusciouslips19


Posts: 9792
Joined: 9/8/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: sweetwenchie

woohooooo     body shots it is!!!   oh ummm, fair warning though, if you hit an erogenous zone i am not liable for what i might do next...


Who me?? Hit an erroneous erogenous zone??????

(in reply to sweetwenchie)
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RE: Luscious's Laughter Lair - 2/1/2008 3:24:50 PM   
sweetwenchie


Posts: 1993
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Sacramento, California
Status: offline
i think we are safe in the random silliness section.    As long as we do not dare spread laughter any further than this room, it should be okay...  ~crossing my fingers~

< Message edited by sweetwenchie -- 2/1/2008 3:25:42 PM >


_____________________________

"To make oneself an object, to make oneself passive, is a very different thing from being a passive object." - De Beauvoir

"You have your way. I have my way. As for the right way, the correct way, and the only way, it does not exist." - Nietzsche

(in reply to lronitulstahp)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: Luscious's Laughter Lair - 2/1/2008 3:25:11 PM   
lusciouslips19


Posts: 9792
Joined: 9/8/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: lronitulstahp

(scared to post after having recent post ...er, umm...vetoed....) is this an honest to goodness safe place?


yes, but you will be in big trouble if you get all serious!

(in reply to lronitulstahp)
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RE: Luscious's Laughter Lair - 2/1/2008 3:26:29 PM   
CalifChick


Posts: 10717
Joined: 10/28/2007
From: California
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: sweetwenchie

- There is no such thing as slave immunity, free slave day, or the pms defense. The slave jury might not convict you, but the Dom judge will override the verdict. Count on it.


Hmm.  I beg to differ, Miss Wenchie.  I had a "sass pass" yesterday, where I did not get in trouble for sass.  I think he was feeling magnanimous because it was his birthday.  Now I just wonder about when I get can the next pass. 

Cali


_____________________________

AKA "The Undisputed Goddess of Sarcasm", "Big Bad Cali" and "Yum Bum". Advisor to the Subbie Mafia, founding member of the W.A.C. and the Judgmental Bitches Brigade, member of the Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair-a's and Team Troll

(in reply to sweetwenchie)
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RE: Luscious's Laughter Lair - 2/1/2008 3:27:26 PM   
lusciouslips19


Posts: 9792
Joined: 9/8/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: sweetwenchie

i think we are safe in the random silliness section.    As long as we do not dare spread laughter any further than this room, it should be okay...  ~crossing my fingers~



Yes! this room is saying "Hijake me! I wanna be Hijaked or maybe just jaked! this is the "do me" thread. woo hoo

(in reply to sweetwenchie)
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RE: Luscious's Laughter Lair - 2/1/2008 3:29:01 PM   
lusciouslips19


Posts: 9792
Joined: 9/8/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: SlavesKeeper

Who says the first joke wasnt good?
I thought they both were



well thanks!

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RE: Luscious's Laughter Lair - 2/1/2008 3:29:25 PM   
sweetwenchie


Posts: 1993
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Sacramento, California
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: CalifChick

quote:

ORIGINAL: sweetwenchie

- There is no such thing as slave immunity, free slave day, or the pms defense. The slave jury might not convict you, but the Dom judge will override the verdict. Count on it.


Hmm.  I beg to differ, Miss Wenchie.  I had a "sass pass" yesterday, where I did not get in trouble for sass.  I think he was feeling magnanimous because it was his birthday.  Now I just wonder about when I get can the next pass. 

Cali



lmfao  wake up wenchie!!!    ooooooooo   i want a pass like that!!!  Where do i sign up to get a Dom so i can get one of them passes?!?!?!

< Message edited by sweetwenchie -- 2/1/2008 3:30:33 PM >


_____________________________

"To make oneself an object, to make oneself passive, is a very different thing from being a passive object." - De Beauvoir

"You have your way. I have my way. As for the right way, the correct way, and the only way, it does not exist." - Nietzsche

(in reply to CalifChick)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: Luscious's Laughter Lair - 2/1/2008 3:32:11 PM   
lusciouslips19


Posts: 9792
Joined: 9/8/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: sweetwenchie

quote:

ORIGINAL: CalifChick

quote:

ORIGINAL: sweetwenchie

- There is no such thing as slave immunity, free slave day, or the pms defense. The slave jury might not convict you, but the Dom judge will override the verdict. Count on it.


Hmm.  I beg to differ, Miss Wenchie.  I had a "sass pass" yesterday, where I did not get in trouble for sass.  I think he was feeling magnanimous because it was his birthday.  Now I just wonder about when I get can the next pass. 

Cali



lmfao  wake up wenchie!!!    ooooooooo   i want a pass like that!!!  Where do i sign up to get a Dom so i can get one of them passes?!?!?!


thats true but in this place she can attibute it to you!

(in reply to sweetwenchie)
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RE: Luscious's Laughter Lair - 2/1/2008 3:32:52 PM   
sweetwenchie


Posts: 1993
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Sacramento, California
Status: offline
it was from my joke...  i'm just a dork!  lmfao

_____________________________

"To make oneself an object, to make oneself passive, is a very different thing from being a passive object." - De Beauvoir

"You have your way. I have my way. As for the right way, the correct way, and the only way, it does not exist." - Nietzsche

(in reply to lusciouslips19)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: Luscious's Laughter Lair - 2/1/2008 3:33:31 PM   
lronitulstahp


Posts: 5392
Joined: 10/17/2007
Status: offline
quote:

 Where do i sign up to get a Dom so i can get one of them passes?!?!?! 

..ahem...same question

(in reply to sweetwenchie)
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