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RE: Master's 'old' girls... help?! - 2/21/2008 12:17:57 PM

silvermuse

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Okay, in that case yes, this really isn't adding up at all edin.

Just one hint of that relationship could lose him his job.

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RE: Master's 'old' girls... help?! - 2/21/2008 12:18:41 PM

colouredin

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Darcyandthedark

quote:

ORIGINAL: bislavegirl4434

He works with juniors, so 9-12 year olds.

OK... I call total bullshit - It just clicked with me. In the UK Junior schools are 7 to 11.

the.dark.

Yeah and we dont really call them juniors either, primary school isnt it seems odd to use that term.

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RE: Master's 'old' girls... help?! - 2/21/2008 12:21:10 PM

silvermuse

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You're right dark, that age range and the UK school system don't add up.

If he's working with 12 year olds he's working with Seniors/High school. Middle schools do exist in the UK but are rare, the only one's I know of are in Chester.

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RE: Master's 'old' girls... help?! - 2/21/2008 12:24:13 PM

gypsygrl

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quote:

Kinky people are going to need to start dealing with the realities of younger teens who have more experience in kink and authority dynamics than their own middle aged crisis once divorced with kids just found this kinky cyber chat room and now I'm a sub cohorts.

Brillaint thought there. Go you!

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RE: Master's 'old' girls... help?! - 2/21/2008 12:45:12 PM

Paulsgirl

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Taken from: http://www.channel4.com/health/microsites/A/adultat14/consent/aoc_debate.shtml

the law as it stands UK

The age of consent in the UK is currently 16. So, 17-year-old Ben would be breaking the law if he had sex with 15-year-old Siobhan, even with her consent. Similarly, gay couple Jay, 16, and Mark, 14, are breaking the law as Mark is under age. When your hormones are raging, knowing what the age of consent is may not seem like a top priority. But to stay on the right side of the law, it's something that should be kept in mind. the sexual offences bill Since the 2003 Sexual Offences Bill became law, all sexual acts – not just penetrative sex – became a criminal offence if at least one of the people involved, male or female, is under 16. One of the main concerns of the policymakers was protecting young people from abuse by people older than themselves. Whilst this is good in theory, some people believe it complicates the position with regard to consent even more. In extreme cases, it could even have the effect of criminalizing people under 16 for consensual sexual acts with other people of the same age. The Bill has reawakened the debate about the age of consent in this country. Rather than tightening the law, should we in fact have loosened it?

the debate

Supporters of lowering the age of consent argue that teenagers are already having sexual experiences long before the legal age of consent and the law needs to recognise this to be able to give them proper advice and support to prevent diseases, unwanted pregnancies and abuse. If 14-year-olds are not legally allowed to have sex, it is very difficult to discuss it with them at school, for example. According to the organisations such as the International Child and Youth Care Network and campaigners such as Peter Tatchell, writing in the Guardian newspaper, "an age of consent of 16 criminalises more than half the teenage population. This is an odd way of protecting them. Consent at 14, for both gay and straight relationships, would be fairer and more realistic."

For the ‘Age of Consent Map’ around the World see: http://www.channel4.com/health/microsites/A/adultat14/consent/aoc_map.shtml

< Message edited by Paulsgirl -- 2/21/2008 12:46:52 PM >

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RE: Master's 'old' girls... help?! - 2/21/2008 1:40:01 PM

BlackPhx

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Yes, I and several others did look at the laws governing the situation not just the situation itself. There is a reason for this at least as far as I am concerned. She was 15 when he first contacted her. Now believe me I know that there are 18 year olds out there who are extremely savvy, heck I was on my own as a runaway at 16 and had my first child 1 month after my 18th birthday, and there are 12 year olds out there with more than 1 child already. That doesn't change the fact that this was a 33/34 year old teacher looking at a 15/16 year old as a potential slave, and in fact one from a different country on top of that. That tends to raise some hefty flags for a great many of us. 15 years olds can be extremely malleable especially when they think someone worldly, sophisticated and older is interested in them. Add in the fears and concerns she voiced in her OP and it would be difficult to dismiss everything as just jealousy. She may indeed have a legitimate concern that has nothing to do with jealousy, He may in fact be hunting once again for another 15 year old.

So yeah I will always do a check when I hit such ages. As for age differences I am 15 years older than my Master, but we at least have enough in common to be in the same vicinity life experience wise.

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RE: Master's 'old' girls... help?! - 2/21/2008 4:51:01 PM

carlie310

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I don't think anyone looking at this thread reacted to just the ages, even if the ages were all that was mentioned in the response. The relationship is a mismatch on trust, and the OP didn't even get that her problem was with him & not the ex girlfriends at first. He's an authority figure to others very close to the age she was.

And, LA? I think if you look at your list of past relationships with a wide age-difference, you'll spot what they have in common. *You* were the younger one. I don't think on your worst day you would have come online griping about the old hoes.

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RE: Master's 'old' girls... help?! - 2/21/2008 6:06:16 PM

TheLookingGirl

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Wow, what started out as an interesting thread quickly turned into a boring discussion about what the "laws of age" are.

What does posting your findings on what the correct or incorrect laws in a country about the OP's age really prove? Are you going to go there and arrest her? Or him for that matter? I don't approve of a thirty year old man seeking out a fifteen year old girl for ANYTHING sexual. Just making that clear before someone tries to twist my response into an approval of whats going on. My problem is with how (as in many many MANY other threads) the responders head into a "one upper" of sorts posting all kinds of "researched" facts, to see who can be the most accurate. We ALL agree he is a perv. But the OP asked a question that delt with trust. She did not ask for your hairsplitting 16 or 18 argument.

As the OP seems long gone from this thread, it seems pointless to post my advice to her. But just for kicks, here it is... but it echos most those who actually responded to her question. He sounds like someone you should distance yourself from. Somethign dosen't feel right and if you have not agreed to poly ANYTHING than he should not be flirting/engaging with other women. As previously said, if he didn't respond, the would have stopped long ago.

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RE: Master's 'old' girls... help?! - 2/21/2008 6:11:54 PM

DisenchantedLife

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Ya know what? I'm going to come from another way at this. My way. My ex did the same thing. Same shit. He had "friends". Friends, of course, I had no right to be jealous of. Trust issues yes. I ended up being punished alot for "doubting" him. Friends of his. that upon meeting me, couldn't look me straight in the eye. Friends of his, that had a problem with me, with out even knowing me, that were extremely comfortable with him. Yeah... just friends. Just an ex... the ex letting him take her only laptop out of state for the weekend? Who I doubt was an ex at the time.

If it seems wierd and out of place, it probably is. I'm going to suggest a different route. Screw trusting him, trust yourself. If you think something is up, there probably is. Would you lie to yourself? Would you mislead yourself? Are you honest with yourself? Why doubt yourself? You are your own best friend. Why are you trusting him over you? I'd label that a red flag.

If it does end up being nothing, than good. If he's got a problem with you being worried, than red flag. Nothing to hide, means they dont mind being double checked.

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RE: Master's 'old' girls... help?! - 2/21/2008 9:10:23 PM

ottRopesandKnots

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quote:

ORIGINAL: DisenchantedLife
Ya know what? I'm going to come from another way at this. My way. My ex did the same thing. Same shit. He had "friends". Friends, of course, I had no right to be jealous of. Trust issues yes.

Let me come from another way at this, my way...
I've been accused of the same shit, time and time again. I get into relationships and suddenly my Significant Other wants me to drop or distance myself from my female friends. Jealousy rears its ugly little head and I have to hear about it constantly. It's a damn pain in the ass as I get along much better with women than I do with men and I tend to have a lot of female friends.

The thing is when I'm in a committed relationship, I'm *in* a committed relationship. That's why I get into a committed relationship. I know damn well how to say "I like you, but let's keep it casual" if I want to. I'm not keeping something on the side, I'm not thinking of hooking up with other women, I'm satisfied. Well, I'm satisfied except for the nagging of my significant other about my female friends. Granted, I've slept with some of them in the past, but that's in the past. I've been able to maintain non-sexual periods of friendship with them, and that can certainly continue. I generally have an ex in my circle of friends, that's a fact of my life.

I'm not even an ass about it. I try to be accomodating to my Sig Oths; I know the stupid things not to do with my female friends (it would certainly be made clear, sexual advances would not be acceptable), they don't take 'priority', I don't go on overnight trips with them, but that rarely seems to be enough. There's still usually tension.

The point is, if you don't trust the guy there isn't any reason to be in a relationship with him. If he's untrustworthy that probably won't change, and if he is trustworthy but you still don't trust him you're just gonna drive him nuts.

< Message edited by ottRopesandKnots -- 2/21/2008 9:12:11 PM >

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RE: Master's 'old' girls... help?! - 2/22/2008 3:47:35 AM

bislavegirl4434

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Woah, far too many questions to answer all at once. Can everyone just post what their questions for me are? It might be easier to reply to.

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RE: Master's 'old' girls... help?! - 2/22/2008 4:49:21 AM

colouredin

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quote:

ORIGINAL: bislavegirl4434

Woah, far too many questions to answer all at once. Can everyone just post what their questions for me are? It might be easier to reply to.

I dont think there were many questions it was just a debate on age and whatnot really and questioning the validity of your op.

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RE: Master's 'old' girls... help?! - 2/22/2008 5:18:46 AM

bislavegirl4434

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Alright. Well, in answer to some of these questions;

1. Master works in a private school. The private school teaches from preschool to end of highschool. So they have a junior and a senior department. He is Head of the Junior English department, thus, he works with juniors. (Although mainly year 6). Just because most Year 6 girls are 11, doesn't nesecarily mean that some can't be a few months older. I was one of the oldest in my year at Primary school, and turned 12 just before leaving for NZ.

2. I moved back to England after 7 years. I hold a UK and NZ passport. Thus, i didn't need to emigrate.

3. There was no sexual content until after I was 16, long after I was 16. So please do not assume that on my 16th birthday he started 'Dominating' me. That is not true.

4. I don't know how long we can keep the ages a secret, he looks very young for his age, and i look a little older. So for now its not an issue. I suppose people become more tolerant of age differences as time goes on. So maybe in time we can tell the truth. For now, its best that family don't know.

5. I spoke to him breifly last night (Although we had a play reading to attend, so we didn't have alot of time) about this issue. He claims that these 'stalkers' (as he put it) meant nothing, and that they were just trying to make him go back to them. When I asked about his replies/what he thought about it, he said something along the lines of "Yes, i've replied to a few, does it matter? - we've got to go, come on."

That sends red flags more than anything else. The fact that he changed the subject, knowing that i wouldn't like the answer/not wanting to give me any more information.

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RE: Master's 'old' girls... help?! - 2/22/2008 5:31:19 AM

xxblushesxx

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I stand by my contention that most females would not send risque' pics unless they were either:
a. requested
b. obviously welcomed and appreciated
c. one or both of the above.

And yes, the fact that he wishes not to discuss this is an issue for you to ponder.

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RE: Master's 'old' girls... help?! - 2/22/2008 5:32:20 AM

colouredin

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quote:

ORIGINAL: bislavegirl4434

5. I spoke to him breifly last night (Although we had a play reading to attend, so we didn't have alot of time) about this issue. He claims that these 'stalkers' (as he put it) meant nothing, and that they were just trying to make him go back to them. When I asked about his replies/what he thought about it, he said something along the lines of "Yes, i've replied to a few, does it matter? - we've got to go, come on."

That sends red flags more than anything else. The fact that he changed the subject, knowing that i wouldn't like the answer/not wanting to give me any more information.

The evasion tactic would throw some red flags up to me too, if it was no big deal then he would tell you about it. All relationships but D/s specifically relies heavily on trust and from what you have said there cant be that much trust there at all. Did you move to the UK purely to be with him? How many times did you visit him before you moved? It seems to me like you seriously seriously need to talk about it, not while you are on your way out but actually sit down and talk about it, if he evades it again then alarm bells should start to ring.

< Message edited by colouredin -- 2/22/2008 5:33:05 AM >

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RE: Master's 'old' girls... help?! - 2/22/2008 5:36:36 AM

bislavegirl4434

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quote:

I stand by my contention that most females would not send risque' pics unless they were either:
a. requested
b. obviously welcomed and appreciated
c. one or both of the above.

I, like most women, agree with you completely. I had my flights booked here, my 'collar' that he's sent me, with a request that I think about being His and knew that He was someone I was interested in before I sent any risqué pictures!

I'm hoping that the only reason we didn't talk about it was because we did have somewhere to be... but then that raises questions of "why couldn't we have the conversation on the 10minute walk to the train station?" and "Why couldn't we have it on the 20min train ride?" hmmm...

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RE: Master's 'old' girls... help?! - 2/22/2008 5:37:54 AM

colouredin

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He "Sent" you a collar?

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RE: Master's 'old' girls... help?! - 2/22/2008 5:39:33 AM

bislavegirl4434

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quote:

Did you move to the UK purely to be with him? How many times did you visit him before you moved? It seems to me like you seriously seriously need to talk about it, not while you are on your way out but actually sit down and talk about it, if he evades it again then alarm bells should start to ring.

I moved to the Uk for alot of reasons. This is my home, and as much as I liked NZ, i wanted to come home. But yes, He was a main factor of me leaving at the time I did. He wanted me here for His 35th birthday.

He visited me, he flew to NZ for 2weeks to see me

Yes, i don't know when it will be possible to talk to him though. Seeing as we are missing each other tonight (i'm working) and tomorrow we have a funeral to attend... wow... I hadn't realised until now that we don't get alot of time alone... hmmm

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RE: Master's 'old' girls... help?! - 2/22/2008 5:41:20 AM

bislavegirl4434

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Yes, sent. Strange, right?

He sent it almost as soon as He landed back in the UK.

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RE: Master's 'old' girls... help?! - 2/22/2008 5:44:20 AM

colouredin

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Hmmm well sending a collar in the post is a bit odd, at least this is your home though so you arent totally up shit creek. You must be able to find some time to talk to him cos this is obv really important to you.

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