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ORIGINAL: bislavegirl4434

bleussparkles; You've been in this position before? I think my main insecurities come from the age difference between us. I mean, 17years is alot... especially at my age. He talks of things He's been involved in.. before I was born! Uhm.. I suppose thats why i'm so worried about these older girls He has contact with. Yes, He told me about them, told me things like "Oh yeah, going to the pub with *** tonight, just to catch up..."

How long were you with him for? You have a Dom/Master now?

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My first real time Dom was 23 and I was 17. I felt like he was more wordly than me but it wasn't too much of an age difference. We could relate on most things.

My second real time Dom was 35 and I was 19. He'd met me when I was with the first and we started off as friends. Much like with your Dom, I knew he had a past and he had a lot of girls he'd talk to but for whatever reason I thought I was special. Turns out I was the first one who'd move in with him.
H
He and I  had little in common when it came to interests. He was so much older that he would talk about things I had no reference of. Then it got really creepy because as I got "older" he'd start openly looking at other girls ... Younger girls ... REALLY young girls. Sometimes I'd feel like I was trying to date a pedophile. Other times I felt like I didn't even know him at all because our interests were SO different. I was still growing up and changing every day and he was totally set in his ways.

I was with him for 4 years before I finally left but the entire relationship I struggled with the same things you're dealing with. Looking back, I was miserable.

I'm single at the moment ... I just broke up with my girlfriend actually, completely unrelated events. lol

Anyway, if you suspect something is up, it probably is. Thats what I learned.

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ORIGINAL: breatheasone

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ORIGINAL: silvermuse

Just one thing here.

At 18 how on earth did she qualify to emigrate to New Zealand from the UK? That part really doesn't add up. As I understand it you have to score pretty high on the 'skills' and education levels. Unless she's over there just 'visiting' because of family vouching for her?

The more I look at this, the less it adds up.

Here(U.S.) one can leave the country at age 18...permanetly if they want.

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ORIGINAL: DisenchantedLife

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The point is, if you don't trust the guy there isn't any reason to be in a relationship with him.  If he's untrustworthy that probably won't change, and if he is trustworthy but you still don't trust him you're just gonna drive him nuts.

The problem is, alot of guys that are untrustworthy lead you to doubt and not trust yourself.    My point was, if you doubt him there is prolly good reason.  And if you are trustworthy, than you have no problem proving it, right?

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You are 18. That's technically adult, but you are still not far removed from being a young girl. That's one reason a 17-year difference is so great when the younger one is still a teenager. (don't get "fluffed" at the term - it is accurate.[smiles like the auntie I am] )

Your lack of experience, especially regarding the D/s dynamic, makes you vulnerable. You have taken a good step in posting your question here. Now, please listen to all these people who have been through similar situations.

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  I certainly wouldnt get a tattoo if this is the extent of your doubts, tattoos are for like ever and it all seems a little rushed to me anyway

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Hi,

That isn't what people were asking I don't believe. They are talking about getting into the UK and staying to live. These days, from most countries, you now need a visa to tourist there and have a 6 month leave to enter. You can stay for 6 months. In 1999 at 36 I moved to the UK. The UK is extremely tough on allowing people to settle there unless you have family there, grandparents from there, marry a British Subject or have highly specialised credentials. I managed for 5 years before I finally flipped them off and moved to Morocco after the men in black from the Home Office had shown up at my door twice! And, no I wasn't overstaying illegally.

As to age differences, people must speak in either generalisations or give anecdotal information. At 35 I was in a relationship with someone 26. There was no shared history, not much common ground other than bad sex. I remember one day at my parent's pool we all got discussing the day Nixon resigned somehow and this guy hadn't been born yet. Everyone there noticed his lack of participation in conversations on this and other subjects. I am now 44 and married to mine who is 32. However, he is highly educated and comes from a culture where boys grow into men fairly fast with some exceptions. When I was 21 I was fucking around doing something and he had 2 Master's degrees by age 20, had been a Professor for a year and had owned his business by age 18. We met when he was 31 and I 43. We however share the same values, political views for the most part and talk for hours on wildly varying subjects.

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ORIGINAL: Darcyandthedark

Call me a cynic.  But as someone else has said the situation doesn't feel right - but frankly - the whole post doesn't feel right.  Everyone seems to be coming down on this 'Master' - but there are many things that make me question the poster.
 
So, I am from the UK.  Your profile mentions that you have moved from NZ to UK.  I have no idea about laws in NZ, but UK, 16 is legal age.  With all honesty, the age doesn't phase me at all.  Your new and recent profile also indicates that your Master is perfect, yet you are explaining his 'faults' here? - I also have to ask how did you get a visa to live in the UK at your age?  Your post states he is a teacher and comes home at 4pm.  Another post you indicate he will be 'home in a few minutes'.  It's wasn't even 3pm when you posted that.  Most schools finish between 3.15 and 3.30pm.  Even if he lived around the corner from the school, I fail to see how he could arrive home so fast.  Teachers also rarely get home every evening at 4pm - I was teaching support and a school governor.
 
Yeah, call me a cynic... but an awful lot doesn't add up.  As for the original question - communicate with him - you should not have given yourself over as much in the first place without negociating such before hand - but it isn't too late if you keep a level head.  But something about the whole thread/situation doesn;t add up to me.
 
the.dark.

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ORIGINAL: chellekitty

FR...ok so i didn't read the whole thread, but i read quite a bit of it...and one thing stuck out to me...

to the OP...he effectively cheated on other girls to talk to you....what makes you think he's going to stop cheating now that he's with you?

the age difference doesn't matter...your age (the OP) does...sorry, but it does, i hated to hear it when i was 18 and i wanted my relationships with the older guys i was with to last...but i was constantly changing who i was, i couldn't decide on a college major for a semester, how could i decide on who i wanted to be with for a signifigant amount of time, much less the rest of my life...and the older guys are still there...and if the guys were worth it, they would have waited till i settled down...fact is, i didn't know how to pick quality guys then...i am now with a guy who is 17 years older than me...he is everything i ever wanted, and a lot of things i don't...because, suprisingly, he's human...but with time, i am now able to participate in life and my relationships rather than anticipate...and shit happens...but i take the bad with the good, because the good far outweighs the bad...oh and i see skanky ho's (but not his ex's) flirt with him and get in a tizzy, and then ask him why he doesn't make them stop, and he's like "stop what?"...because he doesn't even see it...it's all in my head...it's my insecurity, not him cheating on me, or potentially cheating on me...

just my $1.50
chelle

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I've only ever relied on myself/my own judgement, and now He asks that i am truthful with Him. There was alot of trust-building/friendship-building activities in the beginning. Taking me outside me comfort zone and proving that i could rely on Him (simple things like ice-skating, and wearing a blindfold while going up and down into the attic, things like that).

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ORIGINAL: SimplyMichael

In many states in the US the age of consent is lower than 18, in many it is 16 and in South Carolina it is 14.