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RE: DEAR CALI - 2/2/2010 5:26:11 AM

lusciouslips19

Posts: 9792
Joined: 9/8/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: girlygurl

Dear Cali,
I'm stuck on the vision of hejira having a mouthful of cock.

Now, what was I here to post? Oh yea, It's dinner time and I don't know what to eat. Argh, nothing sounds good, but I gotta eat somethin. Wish there was cock around

ETA: Smiling at zephy's post. Yea, I'm with her. I got it good on Saturday but I want more dayum it!

girly of the slutish type

Howw bouts a Bratwurst????

_____________________________

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Charter member of Lance's Fag Hags,
Member of the Subbie Mafia
Princess of typos and it's my prerogative

(in reply to girlygurl)

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Post #: 2001

RE: DEAR CALI - 2/2/2010 11:30:05 AM

Phoenixpower

Posts: 8098
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: KMsAngel

we don't want to be comparing year(s), greedy. trust me on this.

Why not?

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The PAST is history, the FUTURE a mystery, NOW is a gift - that's why it's called the PRESENT

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(in reply to KMsAngel)

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Post #: 2002

RE: DEAR CALI - 2/3/2010 10:40:11 AM

CalifChick

Posts: 10717
Joined: 10/28/2007
From: California
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Sundowner

Dear Cali

I believe that I, and one ot two other CM men, might be able to offer kindly help to Anne and Greedy and any others in a similar plight - all that's needed is your wise endorsement to persuade them of the rightness of this path.

Yours,

AlwaysWillingToHelp

Dear WantsAnEasyLay,

How generous of you to offer to take one for the team. But before I give my ringing endorsement, I think I will have to do some personal testing, to make sure that you are up to the task. No, no, don't thank me, happy to do it.

SacrificialLambCali

_____________________________

AKA "The Undisputed Goddess of Sarcasm", "Big Bad Cali" and "Yum Bum". Advisor to the Subbie Mafia, founding member of the W.A.C. and the Judgmental Bitches Brigade, member of the Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair-a's and Team Troll

(in reply to Sundowner)

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Post #: 2003

RE: DEAR CALI - 2/3/2010 10:41:57 AM

CalifChick

Posts: 10717
Joined: 10/28/2007
From: California
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Sundowner
Dear Cali

I was trying to provoke the two antipodean girls into naked mud-wrestling but Angel doesn't twuly love me and wanders has wandered off.

Should I just drink to forget about Australia?

Yours,

Heart-broken

Or you could beat your meat to forget about it. Either way. I'd say get a blowjob, but apparently you're having issues keeping the girls within reach. Hint: Get them metal collars and then stick a huge magnet in your shorts.

Cali

_____________________________

AKA "The Undisputed Goddess of Sarcasm", "Big Bad Cali" and "Yum Bum". Advisor to the Subbie Mafia, founding member of the W.A.C. and the Judgmental Bitches Brigade, member of the Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair-a's and Team Troll

(in reply to Sundowner)

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Post #: 2004

RE: DEAR CALI - 2/3/2010 10:45:19 AM

CalifChick

Posts: 10717
Joined: 10/28/2007
From: California
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: wandersalone

Dear Cali

I am pining away fro my one true love however he won't even acknowledge my existence and instead he has given MY lockets to all of the other floosies.

How can I win him back?

Apparently, you should naked mud-wrestle with Angel. I think you should also tell your one true love that I need a new car, to keep my locket safe within its confines.

Cali

_____________________________

AKA "The Undisputed Goddess of Sarcasm", "Big Bad Cali" and "Yum Bum". Advisor to the Subbie Mafia, founding member of the W.A.C. and the Judgmental Bitches Brigade, member of the Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair-a's and Team Troll

(in reply to wandersalone)

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Post #: 2005

RE: DEAR CALI - 2/3/2010 10:55:37 AM

CalifChick

Posts: 10717
Joined: 10/28/2007
From: California
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: KMsAngel

Dear Cali,

how long do sperm whales live?

signed,
studius

Dear TryingToThrowMeForALoop:

I was going to say "longer than the sperm regular", but I'll give you this instead:

The Sperm Whale, Physeter macrocephalus, is a marine mammal species having the largest brain of any animal. The name comes from the milky-white waxy substance, spermaceti, found in its head and originally mistaken for sperm. A bull can grow up to 20.5 metres (67 ft) long. It is the largest living toothed animal. The head can take up to one-third of the animal's length. The sperm whale can live for more than 70 years.

Cali

< Message edited by CalifChick -- 2/3/2010 10:56:07 AM >

_____________________________

AKA "The Undisputed Goddess of Sarcasm", "Big Bad Cali" and "Yum Bum". Advisor to the Subbie Mafia, founding member of the W.A.C. and the Judgmental Bitches Brigade, member of the Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair-a's and Team Troll

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Post #: 2006

RE: DEAR CALI - 2/3/2010 2:40:14 PM

Sundowner

Posts: 2549
Joined: 3/11/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: CalifChick

quote:

ORIGINAL: KMsAngel

Dear Cali,

how long do sperm whales live?

signed,
studius

Dear TryingToThrowMeForALoop:

I was going to say "longer than the sperm regular", but I'll give you this instead:

The Sperm Whale, Physeter macrocephalus, is a marine mammal species having the largest brain of any animal. The name comes from the milky-white waxy substance, spermaceti, found in its head and originally mistaken for sperm. A bull can grow up to 20.5 metres (67 ft) long. It is the largest living toothed animal. The head can take up to one-third of the animal's length. The sperm whale can live for more than 70 years.

Cali

Angel - take care; know that Cali didn't get that from Wikipedia - Wikipedia got that from Cali.

Wise and all-knowing is our girl.

(in reply to CalifChick)

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Post #: 2007

RE: DEAR CALI - 2/3/2010 2:49:40 PM

Sundowner

Posts: 2549
Joined: 3/11/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: CalifChick
... I will have to do some personal testing, to make sure that you are up to the task.

Dear Cali

A lady is hinting that we should indulge in intimate thingy but I've already had this year's orgasm.

Do you think it would be ok if I had another one? Would this be legal? Would it damage my health? How would I explain this to any other ladies who might want intimate thingy?

What should I do?

WantsAnEasyLay

(in reply to CalifChick)

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Post #: 2008

RE: DEAR CALI - 2/3/2010 4:29:38 PM

CalifChick

Posts: 10717
Joined: 10/28/2007
From: California
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Sundowner

Dear Cali

A lady is hinting that we should indulge in intimate thingy but I've already had this year's orgasm.

Do you think it would be ok if I had another one?

That all depends... am I in your will? Where's Richard Brain when you need him?

Cali

_____________________________

AKA "The Undisputed Goddess of Sarcasm", "Big Bad Cali" and "Yum Bum". Advisor to the Subbie Mafia, founding member of the W.A.C. and the Judgmental Bitches Brigade, member of the Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair-a's and Team Troll

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Post #: 2009

RE: DEAR CALI - 2/3/2010 5:35:50 PM

sunshinemiss

Posts: 17673
Joined: 11/26/2007
Status: offline

He's with Abby... You know... Abby Normal...

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Post #: 2010

RE: DEAR CALI - 2/3/2010 9:33:31 PM

cjan

Posts: 3513
Joined: 2/21/2008
Status: offline

Dear Cali,

The other evening, whilst at a local play party, I overheard some peeps talking about "smoked butt". From what I could hear, they seemed very enthusiastic about it. Being shy, I didn't want to, um, butt in , so I'm hoping you could enlighten me as to what they were referring to. Is it some bdsm practice that I'm unfamilar with ?

I tried some Internet research, but when I typed in smokedbutt.com, I got a sight devoted to lighting farts enthusiasts. I very much doubt that was the practice referred to.

I hope that you can enlighten me.

CuriousGeorge

_____________________________

"I never saw a wild thing sorry for itself. A bird will fall ,frozen , dead, from a bough without ever having felt sorry for itself."- D.H. L

" When you look into the abyss, the abyss also looks in to you"- Frank Nitti

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Post #: 2011

RE: DEAR CALI - 2/3/2010 9:44:14 PM

CalifChick

Posts: 10717
Joined: 10/28/2007
From: California
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: cjan

Dear Cali,

The other evening, whilst at a local play party, I overheard some peeps talking about "smoked butt". From what I could hear, they seemed very enthusiastic about it. Being shy, I didn't want to, um, butt in , so I'm hoping you could enlighten me as to what they were referring to. Is it some bdsm practice that I'm unfamilar with ?

I tried some Internet research, but when I typed in smokedbutt.com, I got a sight devoted to lighting farts enthusiasts. I very much doubt that was the practice referred to.

I hope that you can enlighten me.

CuriousGeorge

Dear GeorgiePorgie:

The fact that you heard it at a play party is what threw you off track. Some people's minds are ALWAYS in the gutter!

Go to http://smokedporkbutt.com (I kid you not).

Cali

< Message edited by CalifChick -- 2/3/2010 9:45:02 PM >

_____________________________

AKA "The Undisputed Goddess of Sarcasm", "Big Bad Cali" and "Yum Bum". Advisor to the Subbie Mafia, founding member of the W.A.C. and the Judgmental Bitches Brigade, member of the Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair-a's and Team Troll

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Post #: 2012

RE: DEAR CALI - 2/3/2010 10:40:43 PM

sunshinemiss

Posts: 17673
Joined: 11/26/2007
Status: offline

I thought "smoked butt" is the thing at the end of the cigarette. Well butter my bun and call me biscuit!

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Yes, I am a wonton hussy... and still sweet as 3.14

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Post #: 2013

RE: DEAR CALI - 2/4/2010 2:49:18 AM

ResidentSadist

Posts: 12580
Joined: 2/11/2007
From: a mean old Daddy, but I like you - Joni Mitchell
Status: offline

^ you have buttered buns?

Well hello "biscuit"!

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I give good thread.

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Post #: 2014

RE: DEAR CALI - 4/20/2011 4:07:48 PM

FukinTroll

Posts: 6277
Joined: 2/6/2007
From: Under a bridge
Status: offline

Dear Cali,

I was thinking about this girl... you don't know her, I'm sure... anyway, I was hoping to get some advice on her big 50 b-day present. I made a list an everythin... actually, it was a friend of a friend... you don't know the guy. I am sure it was the friend of a friends, roommates cousin from collages girlfriends uncles best buddy. Yep, that is it.

Porsche
Manor in the South of France
Villa in Hawaii

The longer the list got the more it occurred to me... him, even... just how superfluous material things were. I, well, he settled on a gift that would keep on giving and made a new list.

Private Detective... $5,590.00 (just in case she hides out for that b-day)
Satalite tracking devices... $4,782.00 (just in case she spontaneously flees from the b-day)
Birthday bash (air travel for her friends included)... $16,897.00 (just to get everyone to the b-day, hideout or not)
Resort rent (all rooms all floors)... $27,345.00
Spanish flies... $234.00
Frozen Margaretta... $15.50
Sabotaged condom... $3.50
Knocking her up for her 50th b-day... Priceless.

For all the evil shit you want to do TrollCard can get you there.

Is there, on the off chance, anything I missed in the latter list? I mean, I missed that he showed me that I probably could've helped him with... better... maybe.

Signed
Sadistic Sperm Donor's friend of a friend

_____________________________

I'm the guy your girl is thinking about when she is fucking you!

TrollTopia
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The Mods have me on speed Spank!! Gotta luv'em.

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Post #: 2015

RE: DEAR CALI - 4/20/2011 4:22:03 PM

sunshinemiss

Posts: 17673
Joined: 11/26/2007
Status: offline

Dear Troll,
You forgot a surrogate mother. She doesn't want to lose her figure.

California Sun

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Yes, I am a wonton hussy... and still sweet as 3.14

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Post #: 2016

RE: DEAR CALI - 4/29/2011 4:03:35 PM

CalifChick

Posts: 10717
Joined: 10/28/2007
From: California
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: FukinTroll

The longer the list got the more it occurred to me... him, even... just how superfluous material things were. I, well, he settled on a gift that would keep on giving and made a new list.

Knocking her up for her 50th b-day... Priceless.

Sadistic Sperm Donor's friend of a friend

Dear Couldn't-Be-More-Transparent-If-You-Tried-and-I'm-Onto-Your-Game-So-Stop-Bugging-Me-To-Answer

I already told you, I'm turning 47 this year.
I already told you, I'm not having any more children.
I already told you, I'm hiding out from age 49 to 51, just to make sure that I don't have a baby at 50.

Now buy the dang diamond necklace I picked out, and quitcher whining.

SweetestGirl

_____________________________

AKA "The Undisputed Goddess of Sarcasm", "Big Bad Cali" and "Yum Bum". Advisor to the Subbie Mafia, founding member of the W.A.C. and the Judgmental Bitches Brigade, member of the Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair-a's and Team Troll

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Post #: 2017