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RE: Is everything alright? - 3/12/2008 4:02:03 PM

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Steel: When he said,"If you come here and meet my father it will be the end of us", I took that to mean he thinks she would leave him. And "when I want to get rid of you" gave me the same impression. After all, if he just wants to end it, he can man up and tell her himself, he doesn't need his dad to be a jackass just so he can end it.

Cali

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RE: Is everything alright? - 3/12/2008 4:03:02 PM

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I got the same impression cali

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RE: Is everything alright? - 3/12/2008 4:04:17 PM

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Interesting.

I am being DEAD serious now.

I wonder why we automatically read these phrases those two different ways?

I now see your point ansd agree it is Valid.

As Always

Steel

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RE: Is everything alright? - 3/12/2008 4:04:21 PM

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Once upon a time there was a sexy, chocolate sub who served a sexy European Dom...and then his wife called to tell her that they were trying to get back on track with their marriage and to "please leave my 'haz-beent' alone!" Moral of the story...tell your friend

to wait it out...the truth always comes out in the wash....

(in reply to CalifChick)

RE: Is everything alright? - 3/12/2008 4:06:22 PM

SinergyNstrumpet

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If I had never been to his home, especially if I had no landline number, I would wonder if I was being lied to and in fact if the "father" was a "wife".

I am in a relationship with someone for a year, and they have that sort of over the top out of control reaction to a fairly straightforward and normal request I would question their suitablity to dominate me... I would very much respect where he is in his life, but that respect does not mean i would want a life with someone who did not think me suitable to be around their family for whatever reason. Life is too short and there are too many other people out there to settle for someone that keeps you at arms length.

julia

(in reply to omegafemale)

RE: Is everything alright? - 3/12/2008 4:11:50 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: SteelofUtah
I am being DEAD serious now.

I think I be scared now.

quote:

I wonder why we automatically read these phrases those two different ways? I now see your point ansd agree it is Valid.

Well, it can't be the AGE thing (cheap shot I had to take at Steel

), nor can it be because you have a Y chromosome and I don't, so it must be because I'm old and cynical and you're young and optimistic?? (Oops, I think I snuck age in there again)

Cali

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RE: Is everything alright? - 3/12/2008 4:20:27 PM

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**Tapping Foot and Grinning under devilish eyes**

There will be spankings, Oh trust me girlie, there will be spankings.

I think however it is because I am less jaded than most. I saw it as an attempt to inform her finally and for all that this is an OFF LIMITS issues and she has not been fully informed.

I never saw it as a trust thing because there is nothing about trust within it. But that's just Young Ol' Me Ain't it.

Steel

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(in reply to CalifChick)

RE: Is everything alright? - 3/12/2008 4:30:37 PM

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Nope I would not. and in the first place if the relationship was mine, and I had known he was in the situation he claims he is I would of never agreed to be in a relationship with him. That is just the kind of drauma I do not want to put up with e ver again, after being in a relationship for four years with a bf with a controlling mom, and a relationship now where the man won't stand up to his bossy overbearing family who've in the past tried to break us up.

quote:

ORIGINAL: omegafemale

would you continue to share your life with a Man that You never know anything about?
I dont think I could do that.

< Message edited by YourhandMyAss -- 3/12/2008 4:32:06 PM >

(in reply to omegafemale)

RE: Is everything alright? - 3/12/2008 5:33:55 PM

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fr

I could be wrong -- but he's clearly hiding something my money is on a wife, not an older Father...

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RE: Is everything alright? - 3/12/2008 6:15:18 PM

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He doesn't trust her. So why is she suppose to trust him?

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RE: Is everything alright? - 3/12/2008 6:29:06 PM

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Because Prolific, she is the slaaaave...she is supposed to accept anything and everything he says. (you didn't get the handbook did you?)

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RE: Is everything alright? - 3/12/2008 6:37:05 PM

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The old man has to sleep some time.
He's married. Probably kids too.

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RE: Is everything alright? - 3/12/2008 6:52:24 PM

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   This would raise red flags for me. I'm not sure if I would immediately suspect "married", if simply due to the fact that he appears to spend every weekend with his sub. However, I agree with everyone else here. No matter how nice he is, not matter how well he treats her, he absolutely appears to be hiding something.
   I understand that there are reasons she might not be able to visit him. However, the fact that he gets so angry when she mentions it suggests that there is something more than what he's saying.
    I'm still astounded by the amount of doms who hide big information from their sub or slave because they're the dom. Does that ever work out well? Is it ever just a demonstration of the power dynamic in the relationship, or does it always boil down to the secretive dom lying about some big aspect of their lives? Why do subs accept this in any situation where they're getting more involved than simply playing?

(in reply to Aileen1968)

RE: Is everything alright? - 3/12/2008 7:00:45 PM

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I think it was wrong of him not to fully divulge his living situation and what that would entail for the long term before they became committed to eachother. He obviously overreacted to her questions, but hey who doesn't do that sometimes?

It's not so common, but it's not unheard of for people to "date" for a year or more without honestly knowing much about their partner- they meet for vacation fantasy weekends and don't really think to talk about the serious stuff until life forces it- then it's go back to the drawing board time.

But now she has a choice- she can either accept him and the situation, or not.

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RE: Is everything alright? - 3/12/2008 7:25:26 PM

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Or....she could try to find out what is really going on, and then decide whether to accept the situation or not.

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(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)

RE: Is everything alright? - 3/12/2008 7:30:40 PM

TemptingNviceSub

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I'm still astounded by the amount of doms who hide big information from their sub or slave because they're the dom. Does that ever work out well? Is it ever just a demonstration of the power dynamic in the relationship, or does it always boil down to the secretive dom lying about some big aspect of their lives? Why do subs accept this in any situation where they're getting more involved than simply playing?

I agree with the above statement!..What happened to the mantra most espouse?..you know what I am talking of..COMMUNICATION and HONESTY!!..Or is that simply for the submissive to abide by?...Tempting

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RE: Is everything alright? - 3/12/2008 7:38:14 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: TemptingNviceSub

Why do subs accept this in any situation where they're getting more involved than simply playing?

Hi Tempting, that was my question as well. When one accepts a collar, it would seem best to do so in informed circumstances, and after acceptance of such circumstances had been established.

To want one's ownership and then want to go back and change the foundation of it seems to be out of order.

(in reply to TemptingNviceSub)

RE: Is everything alright? - 3/12/2008 7:47:05 PM

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Perhaps she should consider focusing on her obsession for invading his space, rather than his for needing it?

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RE: Is everything alright? - 3/12/2008 7:50:35 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: TemptingNviceSub

I'm still astounded by the amount of doms who hide big information from their sub or slave because they're the dom. Does that ever work out well? Is it ever just a demonstration of the power dynamic in the relationship, or does it always boil down to the secretive dom lying about some big aspect of their lives? Why do subs accept this in any situation where they're getting more involved than simply playing?

I agree with the above statement!..What happened to the mantra most espouse?..you know what I am talking of..COMMUNICATION and HONESTY!!..Or is that simply for the submissive to abide by?...Tempting

It's the ones who constantly spew on and on about how honest they are who turn out to be the biggest bullshitters. It's an over-compensation thing.

As for the OP's situation. I don't think the guy is married, because he did spend christmas week with her. But it feels like there is something off about the whole story. But who knows.

If she knew about this situation before she took the collar then oh well. But if she didn't, well, sometimes issues arise that weren't necessarily predicted. It's not so much about his wishes of her not coming to the house, it's more the fact that it sounds like (from the info given anyway) there's something fishy about his story. In my opinion, it's ok for a dom to say "look here's how it's going to be", then she can either accept it or not, but it's not ok to lie about your reasons, IF he is in fact lying. If it's not sitting right with her, I would say that's probably her intuition kicking in.

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RE: Is everything alright? - 3/12/2008 7:54:18 PM

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If she wants to go on with him, then she ought to set up some healthy boundaries. He can't see her if her family are there that weekend. If she isn't going to meet his son, then he isn't dependable enough to be near her kids. He isn't a real part of her life, just a fuck buddy, so he isn't invited to her family for Thanksgiving or a graduation party.

He set up these rules, now she ought to use them for herself, to protect herself. I'm betting he won't like it, at which point he needs to put up or shut up.

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