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RE: Is everything alright? - 3/17/2008 10:52:59 AM

Posts: 9318
Joined: 11/3/2005
From: Kentucky
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I assume when I enter into a legitimate relationship with someone that I will be more than just a corner of their life.
Most people assume that, I think.
It's pretty abnormal to be shut off from your so's friends and family, unless you are 'the other woman'.

_____________________________

~Christina

A nice girl with a disturbing hobby

My femdom findom blog: http://www.MistressAvarice.com

(in reply to ownedgirlie)

RE: Is everything alright? - 3/17/2008 11:20:57 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: SinergyNstrumpet

Hmmm...I believe a dominant shouldn't keep a submissive that he knows will not be happy within his limits. Just an opinion.

First, I am neither an advocate nor unsupportive of the OP's situation. In truth, I don't know enough about it to be. I am offering a point of view that differs from the majority, and nothing more.

Having said that, we differ on opinions regarding the dominant's limits (wouldn't be the first time

). In some cases, I think you are right. In other cases the submissive can adapt to the dominant's limits.

quote:

I am clueless about how much she means to him. If it were me it would signal that I did not mean enough.

Fair enough.

quote:

My submission is all about me, what fulfills me, and getting my needs met. That being said, our relationship is about us. And yes, if a man did not want to have me as part of his every day life, for me that would be unacceptable, I would question it. There would not be an "us" to develop anymore. If someone else does not care about that limit and they are happy within that relationship structure, that is ok too. If she was satisfied she wouldn't be questioning it, if her alarm bells were not ringing she wouldn't ask most likely. At least that is my experience with women, we only question like that if we are smelling bullshit. That is just my opinion

Thank you for sharing your views, Julia, and for sharing them so honestly and clearly. I agree she may not be satisfied with this situation, but where we differ is I don't equate dissatisfaction with a need to end the relationship. There is a lot we don't know about in this situation. I have no idea if there she smells bullshit or if she is right in doing so, if she does. I see this is a point of contention that she has not accepted. Whether she wants to, whether she can, whether she will, is unknown.

quote:

Granted, but as Cali said, the assumption from the beginning is that one will meet friends, family, and coworkers one day... not be excluded, especially if a woman is allowing the man to be a part of her family and her life. So now I suppose those of us looking should include in our profiles Looking for a partner that will let me into their life (actually I did do that because I had a situation much like the OPs in my first D/s relationship which is why I am posting so much on this thread I suppose).

I understand this point of view.

quote:

quote:

and she hasn't met his family (for reasons we do not know). How all these conclusions developed from that is a mystery.

That is abnormal in my experience, and D/s does not make it so.

Just an opinion

This is where our opinions differ again. D/s very does make it so, in my opinion. I am privy to meet whomever my Master determines I will meet. Were we in a non D/s relationship, this would very likely be an issue for me. As his slave, I follow his lead, trusting his reasons, whether I know them or not.

quote:

PS, I am not judging those who are satisfied with such an arrangement, but if the OP has communicated anything in this thread, her "friend" isn't

Agreed. Her friend doesn't seem to be satisfied. And so often we see OPs that agonizingly complain about their situations, only for the other half of that relationship to write in his/her version and for the audience to say "Ohhh, NOW we see the full picture."

Thanks for indulging my questions, and for doing so as you did. I always appreciate and respect your point of view, whether or not we agree or differ.

(in reply to SinergyNstrumpet)

RE: Is everything alright? - 3/17/2008 11:45:06 AM

SinergyNstrumpet

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quote:

Thank you for sharing your views, Julia, and for sharing them so honestly and clearly. I agree she may not be satisfied with this situation, but where we differ is I don't equate dissatisfaction with a need to end the relationship. There is a lot we don't know about in this situation. I have no idea if there she smells bullshit or if she is right in doing so, if she does. I see this is a point of contention that she has not accepted. Whether she wants to, whether she can, whether she will, is unknown.

It goes without saying that we each make choices about what we will put up with and what we will not put up with. We are all just replying with the available information, with our personal experiences, and I would hope that the person who has this relationship is strong enough within her own thoughts to decide what is best for her based upon her own experience. If she wants to remain, it is more than likely she will no matter what is written on this thread. At the same time, it might give her food for thought when it comes to what she can and cannot live with and hoping it will change.

The words we write on any thread are here for other people to read when they search for information or someone like LA remembers a thread to post to a person that has the same sort of question. It is not just the OP that I have in mind when I respond, it is all those with a similar question/situation that I am writing for.

quote:

This is where our opinions differ again. D/s very does make it so, in my opinion. I am privy to meet whomever my Master determines I will meet. Were we in a non D/s relationship, this would very likely be an issue for me. As his slave, I follow his lead, trusting his reasons, whether I know them or not.

There are many things about my relationship with Sinergy that are "abnormal". It does not make those things wrong or right... but they are still abnormal. Most people that are involved for a year with someone, state they want a relationship with a person. Meet that person's friends and family, spend holidays with that person.... most people in that situation have a relationship and they know each other's friends and coworkers after that time. From my experience it is abnormal not to, even in D/s relationships. That does not make you wrong in your relationship because it does not follow the usual course that most do. Abnormal = not within the norm. There is nothing intrinsically wrong with being outside the norm, which is where I am in most ways

quote:

Thanks for indulging my questions, and for doing so as you did. I always appreciate and respect your point of view, whether or not we agree or differ.

You are very welcome, I enjoy the discussion

julia

(in reply to ownedgirlie)

RE: Is everything alright? - 3/17/2008 12:05:15 PM

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From: Sailin the stormy sea
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quote:

ORIGINAL: TemptingNviceSub

I just have to comment on this. Words to think on my ass. This is beyond shear bullshit. Don't take care of your parents Don't resepct your parents and whatever the fuck you do DO NOT under any conditions make any sort of sacrafice for your family. If my girl ever spoke to me like that. My rage would be pretty much uncontrollable

My family took care of my father while he was on his deathbed. If my girl couldn't respect the TUFF SHIT.

BadOne

Wow sailingbum..seems I hit a sore spot...and I am surprised you seem to put an interpretation upon it that was not there..I suspect your own baggage is being brought into this somehow..however, I digress....Did I say do not take care of the parent? did I say, do not respect the parent?...I simply said that a Dominant who would allow this parent to verbally abuse him and whomever he is seeing, is unacceptable on the Dominants part.And frankly, a parent who rages and is permitted to verbally abuse and rage unchecked ,is one who needs to be in some kind of anger management..simply being a parent and older, does not entitle anyone to be permitted to such unacceptable behavior..and I am pretty sure I was not a proponent of not sacrificing for your family...but this parent as far as I can interpret by the second hand info we have received is not on his "deathbed"..he is elderly and possibly unable to live alone..and hoorah to the Dominant that took him in..but does this mean that the Dominant in question is not permitted to have a life?..that he is not permitted to have his S/O over to his own home?..the sub is not asking that he kick good ol Dad out..she simply wishes to be a part of his life, his family, good ol Dad and all..Frankly, as we all age our roles reverse with time, we soon become our parents(caretaker) and our parents soon become us(child)....and I am sure that when our parents were in charge, they would not permit such unacceptable behavior in their home...so why would this Dominant permit this in his home?....Tempting

Yea perhaps you did.. I have the utmost respect for someone who cares for a family member who can't fend for themselves by taking them into their home. After my divorce I had the kids the oldest was 10 and until they were 18. I was NOT going to bring a parade of girls around to meet my kids as a result no girls I dated stopped by my home period. Wheather my view was right or wrong doesn't matter. It was my rule. I never had a girl give me any static about it. They respected my rule. Plain and simple

BadOne

_____________________________

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(in reply to TemptingNviceSub)

RE: Is everything alright? - 3/17/2008 12:13:54 PM

CreativeDominant

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I have indeed found this to be an interesting discussion. I have two ums...one 23 and one 20. Were I to have introduced them to every submissive I have dated and not just the ones I was involved in long-term relationships with, they would have met quite a few different women. I don't care to do that, for various reasons: if I have been seeing someone casually, I may have no trouble introducing them to my friends or to my brother and sister-in-law but if I know the relationship is not going to last or that it is not built on a premise of getting deeper and deeper romantically as well as within the D/s and BDSM dynamic, I would not introduce them to my ums. Nor would I expect them to introduce me to their children or other family members (if they choose) until things begin to get more involved.

The perspective given a few pages back...the hypothetical situation from the view of a friend of the dominant...was also an eye-opener. I still don't agree with the idea that he cannot involve her in his life in terms of his friends and, if he socializes with them, his co-workers but it did make me look at other things that might be going on in his head in regards to a family member. It also made me reconsider my feelings about my ums and I still don't feel I would do anything differently. With a child, you may have some issues you have to deal with but they do not match up to the issues of what can be involved in dealing with an elderly parent though here is where my own devil's advocate comes out...I can understand his apprehension, as speculated on, about losing yet another girl due to the situation with his father but, how much does he want to let his father run his life? On the other hand, his father could be gone next week...or on another hand (how many hands does that make now or am I still using the same two?), his father could be like my mother and live on for 3 years, even after being disabled by a stroke that left her speechless but also incapable of controlling her temper and other emotions.

(in reply to SinergyNstrumpet)

RE: Is everything alright? - 3/17/2008 12:20:17 PM

SinergyNstrumpet

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Joined: 2/26/2008
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quote:

I have the utmost respect for someone who cares for a family member who can't fend for themselves by taking them into their home. After my divorce I had the kids the oldest was 10 and until they were 18. I was NOT going to bring a parade of girls around to meet my kids as a result no girls I dated stopped by my home period. Wheather my view was right or wrong doesn't matter. It was my rule. I never had a girl give me any static about it. They respected my rule. Plain and simple

I completely respect this, and behaved likewise. I was a single mom from the time my son was 8 months old until he was an adult. No one "stopped by" unless I had been seeing them a long time, and there are only two men that ever made it to the stage that I openly shared a bed with them to my son's knowledge... Sinergy is one of those men, I dated the other for 3 years.

In the OP, he is allowed around her kids, but the favor is not returned. So here is the thing, he does not respect her family as much as he respects his own, and since he is the "dom" here, that says a lot to me... lead by example. If he thinks it is bad form to let her close to his relations, why is it ok for him to me around hers?

julia

(in reply to SailingBum)

RE: Is everything alright? - 3/17/2008 12:40:04 PM

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From: St George Utah
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Because she said it was.

Should he say, No I'm not gunna meet your parents at all or be a part of your life when I have the ability to because I am not willing to let you do the same in return. Thank you for having made time to spend with me but since your family is there I just don't think it is fair for me to be there.

How does this make more sense to you?

Steel

_____________________________

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Resident Therapeutic Metallurgist
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(in reply to SinergyNstrumpet)

RE: Is everything alright? - 3/17/2008 12:50:45 PM

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Joined: 3/9/2007
From: Louisville, KY
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Sailing Bum,
I do understand that an adult, no matter how Dominate, can not always influence the behavior of another adult. Add to that situations which may be in place - dementia could cause an elder to speak and behave in ways nothing like his real personality. The last year of my dear husbands life, he regularly beat me with coat hangers (plastic) and whatever else he could lay his hands on from his bed while I changed bandage and tended him. ( not a problem. Before I began I made sure there was nothing within his reach that would do damage.)
The most he ever hurt me was, as he screamed and cussed all night one night, he finally broke down sobbing and said, 'nothing I say affects you. You just don't care anymore. If you loved me at all you'd at least be crying.' How to tell that dear, beautiful man that I simply understood that his words and behavior belonged to his dementia, not to him?
None the less, I have been in a relationship in which I actually lived with my Dom, and still managed to never meet anyone in his life. I will never again be marginalized like that. My dear Master warned me before I met his parents that they might not like me, might behave embarrassingly, ect, ect. But I met them. (And I think they are just lovely people, btw) I have met his former slaves. I am hidden from no one. I am not the 'secret in the bottom drawer'. That is not an acceptable way to live.
If he feels that his father's privacy demands that he not be exposed to new people who did not know him before, or whatever, that does not explain why she is not integrated in other parts of his life, knowing friends, other family, going to work functions, ect. Yes, parameters can be set up in a relationship that state that that will never happen, but, in that case, to be fair, they should be set up at the begriming of the relationship.
But, that is simply my opinion, based on what I would need, and everyone's needs are different.

_____________________________

“If you never did you should. These things are fun and fun is good”
~Dr. Seuss quote

(in reply to SteelofUtah)

RE: Is everything alright? - 3/17/2008 1:19:13 PM

SinergyNstrumpet

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Joined: 2/26/2008
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quote:

ORIGINAL: SteelofUtah

Because she said it was.

Should he say, No I'm not gunna meet your parents at all or be a part of your life when I have the ability to because I am not willing to let you do the same in return. Thank you for having made time to spend with me but since your family is there I just don't think it is fair for me to be there.

How does this make more sense to you?

Steel

It is like letting someone love you when you know you will never love them in return, many see no problem with that, some of us do. It would be unethical for me to encourage someone to have their UMs around me, and their other friends and family when I was unable or unwilling to reciprocate... my ethics, ethics are not universal.

julia

(in reply to SteelofUtah)

RE: Is everything alright? - 3/17/2008 2:02:29 PM

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No I understand your point but that isn't what you said do you see how what you are suggesting in this situation is due to how you have already judged this man. It seems as though you keep on with the notion that he is Forcing Himself into her life but won't allow her in his. And Love is not universal either I ask how you can be sure that just because this man won't introduce her to his father that he also does not love her. Since when does meeting mt Father or ANYONE for that matter depend on who they meet?

Julia I honestly believe and understand how you personally feel and I can respect that but the situation that is being discussed is outside of your comfort level and you would have never made it the YEAR that they have been together in the first place. What I am trying to express is that there is a LARGE part of the story that we do not know, is there not some responsibility on the sub to realize that he is having issues with this subject and rather than making things difficult for him is there not some responsibility from the sub to the Dom to help make this easier for him?

I mean how is it that no one questions how she is helping to make this issue resolved? I am all about having her give him an Ultamatium but she has to do that not just complain about what she isn't getting but rather make arrangements to get what she wants to to move on.

The responsibility here really isn't his it's hers.

Steel

_____________________________

Just Steel
Resident Therapeutic Metallurgist
The Steel Warm-Up © ™
For the Uber Posters
Thanks for the Grammatical support : ) ~ Term

(in reply to SinergyNstrumpet)

RE: Is everything alright? - 3/17/2008 2:24:04 PM

SinergyNstrumpet

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Joined: 2/26/2008
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quote:

No I understand your point but that isn't what you said do you see how what you are suggesting in this situation is due to how you have already judged this man. It seems as though you keep on with the notion that he is Forcing Himself into her life but won't allow her in his. And Love is not universal either I ask how you can be sure that just because this man won't introduce her to his father that he also does not love her. Since when does meeting mt Father or ANYONE for that matter depend on who they meet?

No, I never said he forced his way into her life, I said he encouraged her to have less limits with her personal life than he was willing to allow in his. I never assumed he does not love her. Please quote where I stated this. What I did say is if I were in that situation I would not think he felt enough for me for me to continue on with him. I also stated that if I meant so little that he would dump me for needing more than that he could get the fuck out of Dodge. You see, I do not think his feelings really matter if it were my dom. Either I am satisfied or not. If I am not, I move on. Pretty simple.

quote:

Julia I honestly believe and understand how you personally feel and I can respect that but the situation that is being discussed is outside of your comfort level and you would have never made it the YEAR that they have been together in the first place. What I am trying to express is that there is a LARGE part of the story that we do not know, is there not some responsibility on the sub to realize that he is having issues with this subject and rather than making things difficult for him is there not some responsibility from the sub to the Dom to help make this easier for him?

Actually I made it almost a year before he spent any real time with my UM, and it was not until we reconciled that I met his UM, although I had met his coworkers before a year was up. The issues for me in this thread are 1)her dissatisfaction stated by the friend 2) that he refuses to make her a part of his world at all 3) his rage at a pretty normal request...

As I stated earlier, I write for future readers, not just the OP, and as you can see more than myself has been in this situation just on this one thread, unhappily so.

quote:

I mean how is it that no one questions how she is helping to make this issue resolved? I am all about having her give him an Ultamatium but she has to do that not just complain about what she isn't getting but rather make arrangements to get what she wants to to move on.

I do not think it is my responsibility to suck up my unhappiness to make another person happy... just me. I do not think it is her responsibility to resolve his problems when he will not allow her anywhere near them. She hasn't complained once, her "friend" did. Assumptions were made contrary to what was stated here on her side too, assumptions that she asked to meet them dozens of times, assumptions that she knew the rules from the start, assumptions that she has nagged him or demanded anything. I do not think I have assumed anything that was not stated by the "friend", and if I did that is my bad.

quote:

The responsibility here really isn't his it's hers.

Absolutely agree there, which is why I have posted so much here. We are all responsible for our happiness in this life, and if someone behaves in a way that is working contrary to the ideals that will help us be happy, they need to be gone. At the same time, he may have created a situation by being so warm with her family that encouraged her to hope that one day she may become intimate with his. I am not assuming that, I am just going on the posts here... spending holidays with someone's UMs is a pretty familiar and intimate action which may encourage those UMs to become attached too, and to think more of the relationship than actually exists.

just some more thoughts.....

julia

(in reply to SteelofUtah)

RE: Is everything alright? - 3/17/2008 5:36:02 PM

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Whoooaaaa Now! Hey y'all.....This is getting waaaay nasty at times.
Sorry it has taken me a while to get back to this but Im just now getting to read this and to hear from my friend. I do at times get the feeling that some might not think this is a real situation. It is..she's real..so is He. In fact she is here reading this with me. Let's see, y'all used the name "Jan" and "John"... which is fine. We shall call them such. I have some things to say and then she..uh...Jan will write what she wants. She's not a member here and doesnt have a profile. So, she wants to say some things and we'll change her color so as to not confuse things. But right now, this is me..k?
I would like to say that it seems the characters of my friend and her Dom have been treated unfairly. I came on here because I needed some good advice from those in the 'life' and that I thought could really give some insight from afar off and be able to clearly state opinions about this without bias. But it kinda looks like y'all...like me...have added alot of personal anger from past relationships. And then have began at times to feed on each other. Its not what I intended. I really was looking for answers for her. It was bad enough that when I told her she got pissed at me..but what else could I do? Its not like I could go ask my nilla friends..."Uh, what is D/s?..You wanna be what?..." Id have to explain this part of a relationship to them FIRST before even beginning to ask such a question as I have...
First, my friend is the best friend I ever had. I in no way would ever question her ability to make good judgement when dealing with people..any people..good, bad..Dom..sub.. She has a wonderful way about her that makes everyone adore being around her. (And Im not just sayin this coz she's here..she really is my best friend) I was concerned for her because she called me completely crying. Id never seen her like that over a guy~any guy and she could have her pick. She is in no way ugly or just a cheap fuck. Morally decent, kind hearted and very pretty~inside and out. She gets complimented and even asked out alot but she's not that kind of girl. She has taken her role as collared submisive seriously. I have never heard her complain once about "John" in the whole year. Never has she bad mouthed Him in my presence or have I ever heard her say unkind words about anyone. I wish I could say the same and in fact am ashamed at times that I cannot. My past has made me jaded.
As for John. I first met John a few months after she began seeing Him. My first impression? An honourable man. A decent man. I thought for once that maybe there still ARE men like that..(which shows you just how jaded Ive become).In fact was kinda hoping for one just like Him..

I dont want others thinking badly of Him. That's not why I came here. I do realize that people lie and cheat and deceive others. Im not stupid. It has crossed my mind about Him being married. But I also stated that deep down in my gut I dont think that is what it is. Its just once in a while because Ive been burned that my mind automaticaly thinks the worse scenario. Im hoping that others can see avenues that I havent walked and give better guidance down this path...anyway,

Here's Jan:

Thank you all for being kind enough to give this some thought. I didn't know she was going to do this. I know she did it because she loves me and worries. I've read all of this and alot of it makes sense and some of it hurts my feelings but it's okay seeing you don't really know me or my name. I'm all flushed right now with what to say. there are so many comments and I am new to this.
The biggest question I see is did I know before I was collared about his dad. At our first date he told me he was taking care of his dad. I could understand that. I used to take care of my mom before she died. I felt like we connected even more because of that. Later on about a month or so I asked if I could meet Him. He said we'll see and I thought well we are new at dating and it will happen. Then he told me how his dad is. He is paralyzed and cant feel anything from the chest down. He often pees and stuff all over himself and he doesnt know it because he can't feel it. So, he gets mad and wants to die and my Dom doent want him to die. I know they are both frustrated. He had to put his dad in the living room because the bedooms weren't big enough for the bed and all the stuff he needs. He has a sister but she refuses to help him with the money or anything all year so he told me when it came Christmas to fuck it that he is goign to spend it with me and not them. He spent Christmas eve with his son. They went to dinner and exchanged gifts but even the son didn't go see his grandfather for Christmas. That is what I was told. The sister came to see the father for Christmas not really knowing that "John" wasn't going to be there for Christmas. He left after dinner with his son and came to my house. He stayed with me until going back to work Jan 2. He got phone calls from them and I heard him talking to them about it. He gets really upset to think about his dad. He called him a fucking bastard the last time I asked about meeting him. He hasn't said no that I can't meet his son. He said we'll see. He didn't say I couldn't meet his co-workers. I said if I'm in town that I would maybe stop by. He said okay and that we could go to lunch. He said He isn't friends with his co-workers. It is friendly but they are just co-workers. He doesn't see them away from work.
He told me that it would end it if I met his dad. I didn't understand why he would feel this way. He told me stories about when he was little and going fishing with his dad and stuff. But now, his dad is ugly to him. He never says a kind word even after he cleans him. When he came over this weekend after our fight he said some stuff to me. He said that his dad says ugly comments about everyone. This is how he said it would go if I came there.
He would introduce me and immediately if he didnt say something ugly about me he would somehow try giving me looks. he might give me the silent treatment. I told him I could handle that. But he said HE couldn't. That that is the problem. He couldn't stand hearing it day in and day out all night long. He says he goes on and on and on all night. He would say things like, So I see you like fat ass bitches now. Is that your new thing? I guess you've let down your standards and now will just date any ugly whore. How many bastards does this one have? How many are you going to have to support this time for some pussy?
He says he wont let up. Its all night long until he leaves for work. Then when he comes home he starts back up again. He pays someone to take care of him during the day but often sets up half the night clearing his vomit from his passages or cleaning his poop. He says he doesnt want me to see Him in that position. Somehow he thinks that I would think less of him for putting up with this. But he's my dad he says to me with tear filled eyes and this little boy look in his face. And I think to myself how much I love this man. And I can't imagine thinking less of him. He's so dear to me. We have everything in common. Music, food, fun..we like the same things. Its good when he is here. I suppose part of me wants to help him. I never meant it to be pushy or anything like that. I so feel for Him. He thinks its degrading of him to bite his tongue and take it and not say anything back and then he says when I almost lose it I think back about being a little boy and those fun times fishing. What kind of example would I set for my son?
So. He said he had taken all he could at Christmas and left his sister to do it. He had him all year and he just wanted something normal for once. That it had been so long since he had anything normal. He says when he comes to my house he can be normal.
well..I decided it's enough for me. The early morning calls wishing me a good day, the late night 3 hr phone calls, the weekends, holidays and vacations (we went for 3 days to disney. my first time ever to go there), the long walks around the lake, his warm hand in mine. All that is enough. I can't bear to think I could never see him again. I know he's not married. I checked it when I first met him. I did the pedophile check too. A friend of mine from work gave me this website. www.familywatchdog.us
and I put in his name for every state in the south. I did my check whenever we first started chatting even before we met. Then he gave me his driver's liscense and I checked things. He's divorced.
I told him that this weekend. Am I crazy for this? Maybe. But I'm having a wonderful year. Is it headed for "marriage"? I don't know. I spoke today with a co-worker when He called me. My Dom says he's just a private man.
I've never demanded a thing from him. I think he's given me all that he can..at this moment in time. I dont know what the future holds. But I'm okay and I've told omega this too. I am grateful that so many people have responded to this. Thank you for your advice. I'm going to keep reading it and maybe try and copy it to look over once in a while. Bye.

_____________________________

All well-raised Southern girls know it's far easier to get forgiveness than permission.
-- Virginia Darmer

(in reply to SinergyNstrumpet)

RE: Is everything alright? - 3/17/2008 5:43:55 PM

SinergyNstrumpet

Posts: 305
Joined: 2/26/2008
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quote:

well..I decided it's enough for me.

Then there is nothing more for me to say on the matter, good luck

julia

(in reply to omegafemale)

RE: Is everything alright? - 3/17/2008 5:45:50 PM

Posts: 9318
Joined: 11/3/2005
From: Kentucky
Status: offline

As long as you're satisfied with the arrangement, and he is too, that's all that matters. It sounds as if you give him something he needs, and I commend you for that.

_____________________________

~Christina

A nice girl with a disturbing hobby

My femdom findom blog: http://www.MistressAvarice.com

(in reply to omegafemale)

RE: Is everything alright? - 3/17/2008 5:48:19 PM

Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline

Oh so he was fully up front about it, so yeah, she needs to either be fulfilled in this situation and back the fuck off, or say it's not going to work for her and let them both seek their bliss.

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Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to SinergyNstrumpet)

RE: Is everything alright? - 3/17/2008 5:53:42 PM

Posts: 5746
Joined: 7/11/2007
From: Austin Texas
Status: offline

'Jan' I'm glad that you posted and cleared up the misconceptions and assumptions that had been flying around. It sounds to me like you got severely stressed out for a bit but are pretty much in a good balance with him.

I am sorry though that your feelings got hurt reading some of this stuff but please keep in mind no one knows you so everything gets built on just a few words. Take the good and toss the bad. Yes it can be hard for a man (much less a dominant one) to have that all be seen and worst to have to hear it from his father 24/7. The digs and nastiness. As to meeting coworkers I didn't even understand the issue, I've never had coworkers that I socialized with so that wasn't at all weird to me lol. I kept my (now ex) husband away from my family up til the week of our marriage. After married I did my best to keep them separated and did that for 20 years. Some people have messed up families. Keep the talk going with him, let him know you support him. Make sure that you discuss how you feel but in a way that doesn't ask for things to be fixed or changed, just that X is how you feel. I think it is unfair to push him on this to be honest with you.I hope you both get past this hurdle, good luck. eta, hit enter not space bar grrrr.

< Message edited by camille65 -- 3/17/2008 5:55:03 PM >

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~Love your life! (It is the only one you'll get).

(in reply to omegafemale)

RE: Is everything alright? - 3/17/2008 5:53:43 PM

Posts: 9318
Joined: 11/3/2005
From: Kentucky
Status: offline

I wouldn't say FULLY up front Lucky. His we'll see at the beginning of the relationship was a bit misleading.
But, she's willing to overlook it, so, best of luck to both of them.

_____________________________

~Christina

A nice girl with a disturbing hobby

My femdom findom blog: http://www.MistressAvarice.com

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)

RE: Is everything alright? - 3/17/2008 6:14:19 PM

SinergyNstrumpet

Posts: 305
Joined: 2/26/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

Oh so he was fully up front about it, so yeah, she needs to either be fulfilled in this situation and back the fuck off, or say it's not going to work for her and let them both seek their bliss.

Hmmmm, I do not find this to be "fully upfront"

quote:

The biggest question I see is did I know before I was collared about his dad. At our first date he told me he was taking care of his dad. I could understand that. I used to take care of my mom before she died. I felt like we connected even more because of that. Later on about a month or so I asked if I could meet Him. He said we'll see and I thought well we are new at dating and it will happen.

But she says she is satisfied and willing to continue like this, so I wish her happiness in her chosen course of action

julia

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)

RE: Is everything alright? - 3/18/2008 9:30:16 AM

Posts: 5307
Joined: 10/2/2007
From: St George Utah
Status: offline

"Jan"

I am Proud of you.

It took Courage to stand up to this board and even more to put your life in perspective.

I am Glad to know how things really are I would have hated to know I was defending a Megalomaniac or worse a cheating man. I know that things are hard for you, Relationships offten have a way of making you prove to yourself what the relationship is worth and I think you have a wonderful one.

I am Glad that someone has the kind of dialoge that you have with your Master because it is so important not to have the unsaid things hanging about. I am glad that came and cleared things up.

If anything I said hurt your feelings I am sorry but as I had said I only had one part of the story and it was second hand.

I wish you a Happy and WONDERFUL future with what seems to be a very honorable man.

Steel

_____________________________

Just Steel
Resident Therapeutic Metallurgist
The Steel Warm-Up © ™
For the Uber Posters
Thanks for the Grammatical support : ) ~ Term

(in reply to SinergyNstrumpet)

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