quote:

ORIGINAL: jenf

He's married,  or in a relationship, she is definitely his piece on the side. Deep down in her gut, she knows it, too. 

quote:

ORIGINAL: omegafemale

Hello Masters and Dominants,

Im asking for some advice for a friend of mine. No, Silly..it really isnt for me..!

A friend of mine is collared by a Dominant. She had been dating this Dominant for almost a year before He collared her. Everything seemed great but then she calls me to say He just had a big fight with her over the phone.
She has asked numerous times to visit His home. He refuses and always goes to her house for the weekends. Nothing has ever seemed out of the ordinary and she has always just assumed that as time went on He would eventually have her come to His home. She apparently brought up the subject on the phone for the fourth time since they are together in a year. He went thru the roof screaming at her to the point she was in tears and was afraid to answer His questions on the phone. He said to her that "If you come here and meet my father it will be the end of us. When I want to get rid of you then you can come here and meet Him. Do you want to meet Him?" She was in shock...and didnt know what to say.
He lives in the next city from her. She owns her home. He owns His home.
He is taking care of His father fulltime (who is paralyzed and argumentative and "a fucking bastard" )and His father has a hard time dealing with visitors who come to see the Dom  and takes it out on the Dom all week. The Dom lives to see my friend on the weekends. He tells her His life begins when they are together on weekends and holidays. He spent Christmas and Thanksgiving with her at her home for two weeks.. The Dom's Father went to stay with relatives.
She has never seen His home..or met His family or co-workers although the Dom HAS met her family etc..and had dinner..etc..and spent considerable time with her family and friends.
She is confused about things. Shouldnt she SEE where He lives and works..etc after its been a whole freaking year?!!
The Dom told her that His father has ruined his relationships in the past and doesnt want him to interefere with what they have.
What should she do please?  As far as I know He has never raised His voice to her about anything else besides coming to His home. He has never "hit" her or abused her......why all the secrets?..He is "a very private person"...
uh....okay..

quote:

ORIGINAL: xxblushesxx

Because Prolific, she is the slaaaave...she is supposed to accept anything and everything he says. (you didn't get the handbook did you?)

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ORIGINAL: SinergyNstrumpet

If I had never been to his home, especially if I had no landline number, I would wonder if I was being lied to and in fact if the "father" was a "wife".


I am in a relationship with someone for a year, and they have that sort of over the top out of control reaction to a fairly straightforward and normal request I would question their suitablity to dominate me... I would very much respect where he is in his life, but that respect does not mean i would want a life with someone who did not think me suitable to be around their family for whatever reason. Life is too short and there are too many other people out there to settle for someone that keeps you at arms length.

julia

quote:

ORIGINAL: xxblushesxx

Omega;
I know you like this guy, and reallly want to believe him, but honestly, what reason does she have to believe him? She asks him an extremely reasonable question, and he has a meltdown?
He can't trust her to still love and submit to him after she meets his crazy father? Really?
Why not just do this?
Go online to the county clerks office in the county he lives in, go to the land records search, and look up his name...you'd be surprised what you can find out with a quick free search like that.
I don't find it reasonable at all to be such a small part of someone's life after a year.
She really has to decide if being a little part of his life is better than no part, since he's not gonna give her the 'normal' relationship she seems to want and to expect.
If she were my friend, I'd ask her that, and if I felt she secretly hoped he would change, I'd suggest she move on.

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I listen for openness or evasiveness on subjects

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ORIGINAL: omegafemale

He lives in the next city from her. She owns her home. He owns His home.
He is taking care of His father fulltime (who is paralyzed and argumentative and "a fucking bastard" )and His father has a hard time dealing with visitors who come to see the Dom  and takes it out on the Dom all week. The Dom lives to see my friend on the weekends. He tells her His life begins when they are together on weekends and holidays. He spent Christmas and Thanksgiving with her at her home for two weeks.. The Dom's Father went to stay with relatives.
She has never seen His home..or met His family or co-workers although the Dom HAS met her family etc..and had dinner..etc..and spent considerable time with her family and friends.

quote:

ORIGINAL: omegafemale

He spent Christmas and Thanksgiving with her at her home for two weeks.. The Dom's Father went to stay with relatives.

quote:

ORIGINAL: SinergyNstrumpet

quote:

I listen for openness or evasiveness on subjects

I think that he comes off as evasive, after a year if someone is evasive like that with you, are you going to take what they say at face value?

I have some experience with this sort of scenario. It ended up that he wasn't hiding a wife, but nonetheless he was never willing to make me a part of his life completely... no matter how wonderful, how sweet, and how kind he was over the course of the relationshi, he kept me at arm's length. I understand he had a right to those boundaries after the dust settled. I respect that he had them (even in the midst of the relationship), but the fact remained he was a giant time waster. If a person cannot give another what they want and need for whatever reason, if they truly care about that person and want to see that other person happy, then they should step aside.

I suppose I do not understand getting POed at someone because they make a request that most of us would make after a year. It just doesn't make sense to flip out. Perhaps you would think you needed to dump someone because they wanted to be fully incorporated into your life, and not just have a small piece of it, I think that if someone has no intention of giving another what they want after a year, dumping them is the kind thing to do anyways... why waste anymore of that person's precious life? Why sweet talk them into being involved in something that will never be fulfilled the way they would like it to be...

julia