RE: For men: how to find a woman here

Join Our Community

Collarchat.com

Home Login Search

RE: For men: how to find a woman here

View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> RE: For men: how to find a woman here

Page: << < prev 7 8 [9] 10 11 next > >>

Login

Message

<< Older Topic Newer Topic >>

RE: For men: how to find a woman here - 6/3/2008 10:22:15 PM

Posts: 72
Joined: 11/16/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Stephann

I'm pretty much in agreement with the bullets, but I figure social skills aren't something that can be found in a book.

I was terrible with women till I hit about age 20. I figure it had a lot to do with how I (wasn't) brought up; my dad's the shy submissive type, my step mother's a bitch from hell. I grew up in a small town, and rolemodels were far and few between. Obviously, television's not the best place to learn how to 'be a man.'

In short, some men need to learn how to be worth their salt.

Stephan

Stephen this post shows incredible wisdom, both in your original post and the one written above above. I agree 100% abput social skills being learned sometimes.

And as an aside, I was in exactly the same boat as you: I grew up in a small town with few role models, and my dad was a quiet submissive who hated himself. I had to learn a lot of my social skills through very painful trial and error and with the help of some written advise , similar to what you wrote here.

-Zen

(in reply to Stephann)

RE: For men: how to find a woman here - 6/9/2008 10:10:20 PM

Posts: 2
Joined: 3/14/2008
Status: offline

Hi Stephen

An excellant article you have defined precisly what I have been working out for my self in the short time I have been here. In fact I will recommend it to the long distance female friends I have made here. Who are having trouble finding suitable partners for reverse engineering

Peter

(in reply to Stephann)

RE: For men: how to find a woman here - 6/10/2008 5:47:32 AM

Posts: 7933
Joined: 6/27/2005
Status: offline

KaineD you seem to be blaming your lack of success on others. I agree with most of what Stephan writes. But there are plenty of exceptions to the rules. The problem with what the OP wrote is that we are not all clones. Not all women on here are looking for the perfect gentleman. This place is not E-harmony. 27 points of compatiablilty is not a pre requisite here. Following either the ops rules or you own will garner the same result.

(in reply to MasterGangelS)

RE: For men: how to find a woman here - 6/10/2008 9:44:40 AM

Posts: 1224
Status: offline

Your Op was just fabulous. Thank You!

pinksugarsub

_____________________________

(in reply to Stephann)

RE: For men: how to find a woman here - 7/2/2008 2:35:04 AM

Posts: 3
Joined: 6/5/2008
Status: offline

Greetings Stephenn

Thanks for the excellent advice. I fairly new to useing the internet for this and so found it highly usefull. As you can see my profile name is a "leftover" from my BDSM days. I do keep meaning to change it. Haveing just crossed over into the gorean lifestyle I am learning the hard way how to mail. BDSM subs are very different in the way they view themselves to kajira and it has not been easy to make my messages stand out in the way I'd like. Your advice should help and I have made careful notes.

Thanks Tartarus

(in reply to Stephann)

RE: For men: how to find a woman here - 7/2/2008 2:54:16 AM

Posts: 1028
Joined: 6/20/2005
Status: offline

Er...no offence, but I worked this out for Myself. And it took less time to think up than read what Y/you wrote. Personally I think if people need this kind of advice then they need MUCH MORE help than they think.

(in reply to Stephann)

RE: For men: how to find a woman here - 7/2/2008 3:05:01 AM

Posts: 1073
Joined: 5/4/2008
From: Tempe, AZ
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: HalloweenWhite

Er...no offence, but I worked this out for Myself. And it took less time to think up than read what Y/you wrote. Personally I think if people need this kind of advice then they need MUCH MORE help than they think.

Personally, I think it's more accurate to say that if people need this kind of advice than they don't deserve this kind of advice. Even if it's harsh and vicious to say so, people who fail deserve to keep failing. Think about it - we already outnumber the women 10 to 1, do those of you who are successful really want the kind of competition the rest of us could bring to the table if we weren't clueless, pathetic fucks?

(in reply to HalloweenWhite)

RE: For men: how to find a woman here - 7/2/2008 4:01:09 AM

Posts: 1028
Joined: 6/20/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: ThinkingKitten

Stephan: What you've written is all plain ol' common sense. Unfortunately, you can't pick up common sense at the grocery store, or order it online.....

you're swimming against the tide I fear......
....particularly round here.

(in reply to ThinkingKitten)

RE: For men: how to find a woman here - 7/1/2009 3:46:17 PM

Posts: 18
Joined: 5/26/2009
Status: offline

I enjoyed reading your post Stephen. I would also add don't send multiple emails asking when she is going ro answer your first email. That does not come acorss (at least to me) as dominant. It does come across as creepy....

(in reply to Hippiekinkster)

RE: For men: how to find a woman here - 7/1/2009 7:45:43 PM

Posts: 1486
Joined: 7/20/2004
Status: offline

Good advice. I have noticed that many guys seem to try for a long time, but they don't try very hard. If a man follows your suggestions, he will meet women.

_____________________________

"The Courage to Submit: the submissive male's guide to finding a dominant woman"
http://www.lulu.com/product/paperback/the-courage-to-submit-the-guide-for-the-submissive-male-seeking-a-dominant-woman/5968917

(in reply to Stephann)

RE: For men: how to find a woman here - 7/1/2009 9:41:13 PM

Posts: 32566
Status: offline

Still one of the best threads on CM and going strong.

_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to slavekal)

RE: For men: how to find a woman here - 7/2/2009 1:43:52 AM

Posts: 1190
Joined: 12/1/2007
From: Alabama
Status: offline

though this is one of the better posts on these forums, there can never be a guide on how to find a woman here.

the majority of your collarme correspondences will resemble the game one plays as a child that involves constantly bumping a balloon in the air and trying to avoid it touching the ground - the one where you always lose and gravity always wins.

_____________________________

all the good ones are collared or lesbians.

or old.

(in reply to Stephann)

RE: For men: how to find a woman here - 7/2/2009 9:40:37 AM

Posts: 25
Joined: 8/6/2007
Status: offline

Wow...great post with alot of things we all probably know but forget to do. Thanks

< Message edited by Highlandsub -- 7/2/2009 9:41:05 AM >

(in reply to Stephann)

RE: For men: how to find a woman here - 7/18/2009 8:17:43 AM

Posts: 1053
Joined: 7/7/2009
Status: offline

Thank you for taking the time to write this.

(in reply to Stephann)

RE: For men: how to find a woman here - 7/18/2009 8:48:55 AM

vasha

Posts: 99
Joined: 2/20/2009
Status: offline

quote:

My advice would be not to keep bombarding the target of one's affections with email, but also not to get discouraged and delete one's profile.

this is a lot easier said then done, im afraid. many of us, get discouraged... fairly easily. =\

(in reply to Hippiekinkster)

RE: For men: how to find a woman here - 7/18/2009 7:59:05 PM

AcademyForSlaves

Posts: 712
Joined: 2/24/2006
Status: offline

Hi.

I'd like to thank Stephann for this fantastic post. Lots of thought and time when into writing it. I'm hoping lots of guys learned from reading it. I'm always feeling bad for guys that are looking for a woman and can't find one. Maybe now they've realized ways they can improve and help in their own search. Good luck guys.

_____________________________

Academy Mistresses
http://www.academyforslaves.com/home.html

(in reply to Stephann)

RE: For men: how to find a woman here - 7/18/2009 8:04:27 PM

Posts: 1397
Joined: 2/15/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: HalloweenWhite

Er...no offence, but I worked this out for Myself. And it took less time to think up than read what Y/you wrote. Personally I think if people need this kind of advice then they need MUCH MORE help than they think.

I kind of see what you're saying. His post is kind of the collarme version of "method dating," and the men who frequent the method dating sites seem to resort to a method in the first place because they can't act naturally around women in ways that attract them. So they memorize a lot of rules, tricks, and techniques instead. ("But Stephann, how exactly do I 'neg' a humiliation freak? She just starts playing with herself every damn time I say something uncomplimentary!")

I've noticed that men who have older sisters frequently know this stuff instinctually. I wonder why that could be? :) Having sisters is not a requirement to knowing how to relate to women, but I think it helps a lot of men who might otherwise be lost.

(in reply to HalloweenWhite)

RE: For men: how to find a woman here - 9/13/2009 8:57:30 PM

Posts: 52
Joined: 3/16/2009
Status: offline

stephens post far from a waste of time, but very helpful.

< Message edited by Grofast -- 9/13/2009 8:59:16 PM >

(in reply to Hippiekinkster)

RE: For men: how to find a woman here - 9/13/2009 10:31:29 PM

Posts: 5521
Joined: 10/13/2007
From: Chico, Nor-Cali
Status: offline

FR, after read thru

Huh. Lots of guys are socially inept; I have kind of a thing for the socially awkward . . . . It doesn't & shouldn't mean a lifetime sentence in solitary, so all the cynicism about the power to learn is a little over-blown & / or projective, to my ears . . .. . .

I post the link to this OP all the time, so blame me for this thread popping up again & again, if you'd like, dear reader . .. . . I think it's worthwhile to help people out, however quixotic it may seem at times . . . . .

_____________________________

Snarko ergo sum.

The Verbossinator

(in reply to Grofast)

RE: For men: how to find a woman here - 9/14/2009 4:27:48 AM

Posts: 62
Joined: 5/2/2004
Status: offline

I realize this thread is an old thread, and I admit to not having read every post, but one way to make sure you do NOT meet a woman on here is to have, at the very beginning of your profile a rant/whine about how all of the women on this site are fakes. Especially if it is in all caps. I don't know how many times I have seen this.

I recently ran across a profile of someone I sort of know locally that states that he will not be making initial contact with anyone anymore because of all of the fakes. I am tempted to send him a note gently letting him know that that statement is not likely to inspire anyone to make initial contact with him.

I wish I still had a copy of the first cmail my Dominant sent to me. It was quite charming. I recall he mentioned something specific from my profile. So I knew he had read it.

(in reply to DemonKia)

Page: << < prev 7 8 [9] 10 11 next > >>

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> RE: For men: how to find a woman here

Page: << < prev 7 8 [9] 10 11 next > >>

Jump to:

New Messages	No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages	Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages	Locked w/o New Messages

Post New Thread

Reply to Message

Post New Poll

Submit Vote

Delete My Own Post

Delete My Own Thread

Rate Posts

Collarchat.com © 2024

Terms of Service

0.451