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RE: bbw submissives? - 8/17/2008 11:32:21 AM

phoenix92901

Posts: 40
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quote:

ORIGINAL: YourhandMyAss

I don't use any special terms, I just simply say I am over weight and out of shape. IT's clear it's concise there's no mistaking what I mean and then there's no come back of why do all bbw's call th emselves beautiful when they're not lol.

My usual reply is that there are no ugly people, only ugly personalities. But that's just me.

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RE: bbw submissives? - 8/17/2008 11:43:27 AM

angaothsi

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I like apples better.

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RE: bbw submissives? - 8/17/2008 11:58:32 AM

RavenMuse

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Ladys your 'justification' for using the BBW buzz-word doesn't realy hold water to Me. A photo would achieve that far more effectivly than any fad term you could choose.Everyone has their Own impression of what maybe ment by 'big', where as, assuming as you claim it is simply to get rid of those for whom your bodyshape maybe an issue, a photo shows your proportions, how you carry your curves. The ONLY women I have Owned who haven't thought they where too big have been those who had trouble keeping their weight UP enough to be healthy. what constitudes a BBW? size 12?, 14? 18?, 22? 26?... it will be different for different people, a photo simply shows what your shape IS and IF that is what you are wanting to check is acceptable/not an issue then why hide behind a subjective term at all?

Whatever YOUR truth maybe, what it says (Loudly) to Me when I see someone using the term is that the person has a bigger issue with their bodyshape than I am prepaired to take on and help them work through it. It says less about their actual shape and more about their insecuritys.... Thats My take on it formed through experience. Whilst their bodyshape might not be an issue to Me, the amount of insecurty baggage is very relevant to My decision regarding compatability.

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RE: bbw submissives? - 8/17/2008 12:02:48 PM

angelwithhonor

Posts: 193
Joined: 5/16/2007
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....cant believe this thread is still going after the girl got ripped for posting it..but its nice that all you on this thread see that truly beauty is in the beholders eyes..its just a shame that when some beholders see differnt..and the girl has to deal with oh sorry you are to fat, want a barbie comment from Them..peace

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RE: bbw submissives? - 8/17/2008 12:06:01 PM

angelwithhonor

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...this girl thinks that all of us have something W/we dont like about O/ourselves..some can deal with i dont give a shit what others say..or some take it very personally. which may be their problem to deal with..but it still hurts ..and damn i am skinny, and i have no breast and i have a big ass..and ummmmm geesh if i go on.. i am gonna have a complex to..lol

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RE: bbw submissives? - 8/17/2008 12:12:05 PM

OrionTheWolf

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More information allows for better understanding. People make judgements based upon anything. Sounds like the person you ran into judged those that were overweight to be inferior. That person could have used anything to judge someone inferior. It only makes you inferior if you allow that person to cause you to react in an inferior way. Don't react like a victim, and you will not be a victim.

quote:

ORIGINAL: bestbabync

quote:

ORIGINAL: OrionTheWolf

Your judgement of batter. Just like your judgement of several things in this topic. As was pointed out, you were complaining of how others judge you based on size. You are using judgement to determine you are being treated badly. Suck it up and move on.

So would drama queen, whiney, and thin skinned be good reasons to not like someone?

quote:

ORIGINAL: bestbabync

LOL...yeah life is harsh!

people like us are looked at harshly! why do we batter each other?

orion, please accept that this thread is not about me judging anyone. the reason for my OP was not because i was judged by someone for my size. initially i made my OP because someone that claimed to be a Dominant berated and stalked me for almost 2 weeks because he felt since i am a BBW like all other women like me, i deserved whatever i could get and that i was lucky if i ever found a Dom that wanted me. at the time i was angry and questioning my place in this lifestyle or if this lifestyle was for me, so my OP was a result of that experience.

thank you for your opinion and advice.

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RE: bbw submissives? - 8/17/2008 12:21:45 PM

bestbabync

Posts: 1061
Joined: 7/25/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: OrionTheWolf

More information allows for better understanding. People make judgements based upon anything. Sounds like the person you ran into judged those that were overweight to be inferior. That person could have used anything to judge someone inferior. It only makes you inferior if you allow that person to cause you to react in an inferior way. Don't react like a victim, and you will not be a victim.

quote:

ORIGINAL: bestbabync

quote:

ORIGINAL: OrionTheWolf

Your judgement of batter. Just like your judgement of several things in this topic. As was pointed out, you were complaining of how others judge you based on size. You are using judgement to determine you are being treated badly. Suck it up and move on.

So would drama queen, whiney, and thin skinned be good reasons to not like someone?

quote:

ORIGINAL: bestbabync

LOL...yeah life is harsh!

people like us are looked at harshly! why do we batter each other?

orion, please accept that this thread is not about me judging anyone. the reason for my OP was not because i was judged by someone for my size. initially i made my OP because someone that claimed to be a Dominant berated and stalked me for almost 2 weeks because he felt since i am a BBW like all other women like me, i deserved whatever i could get and that i was lucky if i ever found a Dom that wanted me. at the time i was angry and questioning my place in this lifestyle or if this lifestyle was for me, so my OP was a result of that experience.

thank you for your opinion and advice.

since u do not know me, u obviously do not know that i have learned alot since i meet that so called Dom and experienced his madness for 6months. i did the OP when i felt like a victim, yes i did! it is just unfortunate that i posted it here on CM. like i said, learned my lesson!

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RE: bbw submissives? - 8/17/2008 12:25:29 PM

ModeratorEleven

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Ok folks, enough.

XI

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RE: bbw submissives? - 8/17/2008 12:32:55 PM

impishlilhellcat

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I don't like labels any labels.... The way I see it is if I label myself then I restrict myself to just one category and I don't want to do that. I'm far too complicated to fit into just one group. I like being complex and yes we all get hate mail whether it be for profiles, pictures, weight, height age... it happens it's a part of being in this world. This is just a website... If it bothers you shut your computer down and go do something in your everyday life. These people don't know you and this is not high school or a popularity contest. If he doesn't like or accept your weight so be it he doesn't like or accept you and it's not a good match shrug it off and move on.

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RE: bbw submissives? - 8/17/2008 12:33:25 PM

Roselaure

Posts: 672
Joined: 4/12/2008
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quote:

ORIGINAL: RavenMuse

Ladys your 'justification' for using the BBW buzz-word doesn't realy hold water to Me. A photo would achieve that far more effectivly than any fad term you could choose.Everyone has their Own impression of what maybe ment by 'big', where as, assuming as you claim it is simply to get rid of those for whom your bodyshape maybe an issue, a photo shows your proportions, how you carry your curves. The ONLY women I have Owned who haven't thought they where too big have been those who had trouble keeping their weight UP enough to be healthy. what constitudes a BBW? size 12?, 14? 18?, 22? 26?... it will be different for different people, a photo simply shows what your shape IS and IF that is what you are wanting to check is acceptable/not an issue then why hide behind a subjective term at all?

Whatever YOUR truth maybe, what it says (Loudly) to Me when I see someone using the term is that the person has a bigger issue with their bodyshape than I am prepaired to take on and help them work through it. It says less about their actual shape and more about their insecuritys.... Thats My take on it formed through experience. Whilst their bodyshape might not be an issue to Me, the amount of insecurty baggage is very relevant to My decision regarding compatability.

You make a very good point. A photo is a much better idea. While most women do, as you quite rightly point out, have some weight issues, I don't really think that mine are that serious and I would not care to give that impression. My size is merely one part of me.

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RE: bbw submissives? - 8/17/2008 12:39:19 PM

bestbabync

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thank you impish, i totally agree with you. unfortunately my experience went further than just the website, emails etc. i met the creep! maybe that is why my OP sounded so bad to some.

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RE: bbw submissives? - 8/17/2008 12:44:12 PM

bestbabync

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oh and thank you moderator....i did wave that flag

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RE: bbw submissives? - 8/17/2008 1:35:29 PM

purepleasure

Posts: 6941
Joined: 4/9/2004
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quote:

ORIGINAL: bestbabync

yes Roselaure! exactly just like i have "no smokers" in my profile narrative. there is nothing worse than getting acquainted and beginning to hit it off when you find out the other is a smoker. i am allergic to smokers....yuck! i do not want to show up for a realtime meeting and feel awkward because the other person finds me unattractive etc. finding the right one is difficult enough, right?

May I ask if you are allergic to the person who smokes or the smoke itself? I have met many considerate smokers in my life.

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RE: bbw submissives? - 8/17/2008 4:05:22 PM

bestbabync

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i am allergic to the smoking & the smoker! brings on my asthma...yuck!

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RE: bbw submissives? - 8/17/2008 4:43:19 PM

califsue

Posts: 593
Joined: 2/2/2008
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quote:

ORIGINAL: RavenMuse

Ladys your 'justification' for using the BBW buzz-word doesn't realy hold water to Me. A photo would achieve that far more effectivly than any fad term you could choose.Everyone has their Own impression of what maybe ment by 'big', where as, assuming as you claim it is simply to get rid of those for whom your bodyshape maybe an issue, a photo shows your proportions, how you carry your curves. The ONLY women I have Owned who haven't thought they where too big have been those who had trouble keeping their weight UP enough to be healthy. what constitudes a BBW? size 12?, 14? 18?, 22? 26?... it will be different for different people, a photo simply shows what your shape IS and IF that is what you are wanting to check is acceptable/not an issue then why hide behind a subjective term at all?

Whatever YOUR truth maybe, what it says (Loudly) to Me when I see someone using the term is that the person has a bigger issue with their bodyshape than I am prepaired to take on and help them work through it. It says less about their actual shape and more about their insecuritys.... Thats My take on it formed through experience. Whilst their bodyshape might not be an issue to Me, the amount of insecurty baggage is very relevant to My decision regarding compatability.

The only reason I use the label is based on labels placed by society. I am who I am...good and bad and everything in between. I don't think by using the label that is means I must have baggage with it. I think all woman, regardless of shape, thin, thick, I think have body issues mainly based on what society tries to sell us as being what one should look like. Look at commericals, actors, new anchors...right now the big thing is "white" teeth. But...i am getting off topic. My pic was a full pic...and people could decide for themselves.

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RE: bbw submissives? - 8/17/2008 5:33:25 PM

AquaticSub

Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: bestbabync

once again i did not say everyones post here was unkind, rude or sarcasstic. as a matter of fact i thanked Angelic for her kind words. what i do find is that almost every thread on this site is littered with insults, rude and sarcasstic posts by so many. why should we find it funny, positive and acceptable when our members poke fun, find fault with someone weaker or new to the scene asking for advice or opinions.
am i missing something? does CM webmasters limit thread postings?

No. They don't. Since they don't, you can post a fat thread every single day on these forums and every day I can tell you how redundant it is. However, my experience with posting threads has been good so I'm missing all these insults you claim are there. And when you jump down people's throats claiming that you have been insulted - when I don't think you have been insulted at all - you won't get the warmest reception. No one has called you stupid or demeaned you, they have simply disagreed with you.

This is not a "safe space". There are plenty of them out there and there are pros and cons to both types of online community. Perhaps you would be better off in a community that strives to provide one. That is not in any way, shape or form saying that you don't belong, that you aren't wanted, or that you should leave. Simply a reminder that there are many communities and if one isn't for you it is not a big loss.

You have unreasonable expectations that this should be a perfect place where we all get along. Given the nature of BDSM, some people's views are so extreme that they don't allow for the existence of other paths (ie. "All men are masters, all women are slaves"). You are going to have to accept that BDSM is not a fluffy place and it made of people. Some will be nice, some will be mean, some will hate you and some will love you. There really isn't much of a "side" to be on. I do not consider someone my friend or ally simply because they also enjoy BDSM. I would consider them more likely to be but that doesn't mean much in the great scheme of things.

As for fakes, I really discredit anyone who tosses the word around. One person's fake is another person's perfect match. If you find any of that insulting... well... oh well. Hopefully you will accept it as a difference in opinion and know that we don't have to agree.

Edited for typos

< Message edited by AquaticSub -- 8/17/2008 6:14:56 PM >

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RE: bbw submissives? - 8/17/2008 6:20:14 PM

DesFIP

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quote:

ORIGINAL: purepleasure

May I ask if you are allergic to the person who smokes or the smoke itself? I have met many considerate smokers in my life.

Some of us simply can't separate the two. My ex never smoked inside, he went out in bitter weather or into an unheated garage. Very considerate however I still suffered constant sinus infections simply from the residue on his clothing.

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RE: bbw submissives? - 8/17/2008 6:45:19 PM

Roselaure

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Joined: 4/12/2008
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quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP

quote:

ORIGINAL: purepleasure

May I ask if you are allergic to the person who smokes or the smoke itself? I have met many considerate smokers in my life.

Some of us simply can't separate the two. My ex never smoked inside, he went out in bitter weather or into an unheated garage. Very considerate however I still suffered constant sinus infections simply from the residue on his clothing.

I'm the same about smoke. No matter how considerate I can still smell it and it aggravates my sinuses. Smoking is a deal breaker for me in the same way my big rear end may be a deal breaker for others. Different strokes.

< Message edited by Roselaure -- 8/17/2008 6:46:02 PM >

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RE: bbw submissives? - 8/18/2008 8:20:09 AM

angelspassion4u

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Roselaure

quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP

quote:

ORIGINAL: purepleasure

May I ask if you are allergic to the person who smokes or the smoke itself? I have met many considerate smokers in my life.

Some of us simply can't separate the two. My ex never smoked inside, he went out in bitter weather or into an unheated garage. Very considerate however I still suffered constant sinus infections simply from the residue on his clothing.

I'm the same about smoke. No matter how considerate I can still smell it and it aggravates my sinuses. Smoking is a deal breaker for me in the same way my big rear end may be a deal breaker for others. Different strokes.

Same here. Being around the residue makes my allergies really bad and I get sick. Even though I use to smoke (social smoker) more than 16 years ago ever since I was pregnant with my first um I can't be around smokers.

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RE: bbw submissives? - 8/18/2008 6:53:03 PM

bestbabync

Posts: 1061
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AquaticSub

see below! let it rest! everyone else has!!!
thank you for your concern and point of view!